Reviews for Ax Fires
metalzerofour chapter 2 . 10/2/2012
This is well-structured, and the grammar and punctuation are by no means bad. It's just the mistakes that this is littered with that are letting it down, and for that reason I'd suggest that you do some fact-checking.

For starters, Royce isn't French, and Meat isn't Mexican; they're American and Canadian respectively. Ghost has brown eyes (according to Modern Warfare 2: Ghost, the prequel comic), and on a slightly more trivial note the name of the film is The Amityville Haunting.

Of course, The protagonist not knowing this could be hand-waved as her just not caring enough to remember the real name, but overall I have little doubt that someone of her disposition would not be accepted into the special forces community. Army grooming standards are incredibly strict when it comes to haircuts, and although special forces are allowed leniency insofar as growing their hair out goes, in order to blend in with the civilian population, female operators are expected to conform to rigorous standards, and there is little doubt in my mind that colouration of hair for anything other than the purposes of disguise and concealment whilst embedded within the civilian population would not be allowed.

I hope my review has been informative, and that you will take my comments into consideration. Again, I must stress that you should not take my criticism as anything other than constructive advice; I am by no means saying this is a "bad" fanfiction. I simply think that even for the Call of Duty universe, this pushes the boundaries for acceptable Breaks from reality.

Thank you for taking the time to read this. I look forward to the next installment of your story.
y chapter 3 . 9/29/2012
why
MPS chapter 1 . 9/17/2012
Okay, I want you to think about this sentence:

That must've meant that he held guns, a lot.

Just... just think about it, okay? please?
groomingstandard chapter 2 . 9/17/2012
Pink hair? Teenagers? Watching movies? In the task force? 'Weird murder ghost'?

I, uh, you, I just don't think you tried very hard at all.

"she whispered, voice whispy."
Guest chapter 2 . 9/17/2012
Dang it cliffhangers! Please make more i'm addictide