Reviews for To Make Much Of Time
whatifitwasdifferent chapter 14 . 5/4
Merlin, Severus, for someone so smart you can be extremely clueless.
Better a Freak Than A Fake chapter 1 . 12/20/2016
Am I canon blind? Watched the movies, hated them. Started to read the first book, hated it. So, mostly for the books, yes.

"Hermione woke up." I'm not sure you could have picked a more boring first line to this story. The first line is the most important on the whole story because it's what draws the reader to either keep reading or go find something else and with this opening line, you'll get more of the former than the latter.

The second paragraph is much better, it gives a great and beautiful visualization for the room but it could have been much better if you hadn't mentioned who "she" was in the first line, could have been some great show instead of tell there.

A few or the verbs when she got out of bed are a tad dull like swung and stretched. More complex verbs can creat not only a more interesting story but better flow and visualization.

I like how you put "It wasn't there" in it's own paragraph even though grammar rules don't demand it. This creates much better emphasis on the apparently important paragraph and makes it more suspenseful.

The next paragraph's voice and flow correctly sets the mood and suspense that the scene demands and tells us more of the scene than the actual words could ever dream of having.

"The house was quiet" being it's own paragraph creates the same effect as I talked about earlier for "It wasn't there" and I'm glad you didn't go with the cliche adding that it's "too quiet". I get so annoyed by that.

The next paragraph also gives great visualization but I would remove the last sentence that there was no sign of her parents anywhere. You already did a good job showing that and straight telling it add nothing to the story and pulls us out of the story for a few moments.

I don't understand how she could have known they went somewhere warm without being told. I'd either remove that or explain what evidence she has for that information that is placed in so confidentiality. Maybe that they took clothes like shorts and tee-shirts? At least something.

I love your Tetris metaphor but it's very creative, original, and it makes sense.

I also like the assumption that they left because they wouldn't be safe there. It makes sense but also leaves the question of why she was left there which is a great think as long as you have an answer. If you don't, then it's a terrible mistake.

Not a big fan of how you referred to nothing more threatening than Mr. Hodges and the postman. I think it would be better to say. "Nothing threatening, just..."

By following it with her deciding that she wasn't going to be ambushed, makes either this paragraph or the whole thing before it kind of pointless filler which is never a good thing. The same goes for the character about Crookshanks.

The next paragraph is mostly covering the questions I was already wondering though it does add curiosity that she doesn't remember anything about school. And now we have more curiosity about everything that's missing in addition to what I was thinking with all the dust everywhere. I suspect involvement of the time turner.

The panic not panic and realization that she has made it through worse is a very nice touch and I would like to see where that goes and her run through of what she does know is a great technique for this that was smart for not only her but you.

It's very interesting to see the list of what she does know but maybe it could be cut down somewhat? Just a suggestion. Not that the rest are orders.

Your ending is much better than the beginning, you have set a great off hook for the first paragraph and does help us want to read more.

Overall, for a first chapter this is… honestly a tad boring. While it does set quiet a few curiosities, it doesn't set very high expectations for the rest of the chapters. I wouldn't have continued reading this even if I DID like Harry Potter.
Guest chapter 16 . 11/1/2016
This is a great fanfic and you are right to not give back the magic to Hermione. in fact unluckily isnt always perfect can bear loss of magic better than most for being muggleborn 3. The magic world needs a good psychologist, true.
:-)thx
Guest chapter 16 . 6/25/2016
Meh. Was expecting more...was waiting for it to grab me and it never did.
Ice Demon Ranger chapter 16 . 6/19/2016
This was an interesting story. I enjoyed reading it.
happiness8000 chapter 16 . 6/19/2016
You are so right, life isn't perfect and it's good to read a story where people are happy without perfection and appreciate all they have. Grown-up Harry outwitting Snape was brilliant fun. My favourite line was 'Snape entered the hospital like an avenging angel'. I also loved the idea of East Enders being Snapes guilty pleasure.
Gill4623 chapter 16 . 11/18/2015
Lovely story - thank you for not giving her magic back. It would have ruined it in my opinion. Loved the story x
SilverBirchStudio chapter 16 . 3/12/2015
Great story, enjoyed this very much!
Ambroisie-Seduisante chapter 16 . 2/1/2015
Great story, great ending! Thanks for sharing it with us
Edhla chapter 16 . 6/20/2014
I can't believe that this is your first fanfic... and that it's bloody over. And I'd just got out a glass of wine and everything! ;)

Seriously lovely stuff with, elements that even I know are in character - Hermione fastidiously being a half an hour earlier for everything and George having something to do with lame decorations (lol.)

And as I've demonstrated in 1998, I freaking adore Neville and will happily sigh over any fic in which somebody appreciates the darling boy for being awesome.

[She gave... blinking...] From the context here it's not certain who is the one blinking, though I'm guessing it's Luna, who's just come in.

[outsides] Regionalism or typo?

I love the contrast between the "menacing" figure and Hermione's sweet gesture; the smell of lavender in particular is an interesting touch as it's not something I would have thought to associate with Snape (I've never smelled asphodel, as far as I know, unless I know it under another name. My sole acquaintance with it is from pre-Raphaelite poetry ;))

I really liked the reference to everyone more or less running the gamut from "jumpy" to full-blown PTSD, though there's one thing I might reconsider BECAUSE I AM A BACKSEAT WRITER (ugh, sorry, I'm annoying.) If Snape is bad enough in this to seriously hurt anyone foolish enough to try it, I think that unfortunately would apply to Hermione as well, and it might be a sign of her understanding of him that she knows he has this issue and respects the fact that you don't sneak up on him. Or something. You know these characters better than I do x

"My love" is so nicely in-character for Snape, as is Hermione's much less formal language.

And can I just say I'm really pleased you didn't give Hermione her magic back? I applaud your point, and think that a way of "fixing" her would betray the point that sometimes, life doesn't go the way we planned and not everything can be fixed with a spell.

Ooh, is that a reference to Flood?

Very much enjoyed this xx
Edhla chapter 15 . 6/15/2014
The mobile site isn't working on your profile for some reason; as a result I blame all stupidity or misunderstandings on eye strain :p

Reiterating my plea for an expanded edition of this fic with all the past-tense stuff in glorious detail (well, not all of it, but you know :p)

Ron and Snape's little man-to-man over Hermione is rather gross. I'm glad she called them out on it.

OMG ANOTHER SADLY MISSED OPPORTUNITY FOR SICKFIC AAAANGST. ;-)

But seriously, loved Snape's "avenging angel" moment in particular and you did put in plenty of sickfic and angst. I'm a sucker for the "emergency revealing priorities" trope and Harry lecturing Snape on matters of the heart is delicious. My only complaint here is it seems a little abrupt, especially as it spans nearly a week and involves Hermione being brain dead (though I could well have read that wrong?) Paced out with more leisure and detail, perhaps over two or more chapters... And you said the HP universe doesn't fit in a good sickfic :p

Loved Hermione's rage at Harry. And ouch, poor Ron!
Edhla chapter 14 . 6/9/2014
Oh, it makes so much sense for Snape (I can't call him Severus :p) would hate Hermione's suitors. Oh, this is all bringing back fond memories of Fall. I think disgruntled jealousy can be sort of endearing... and sort of make you want to strangle the guy in question.

Narcissa finding out who the Windsors are and the tabloid press's idea of "culture", and emulating it, feels so incredibly right.

Oh, Hermione is heartbreakingly right when she says not everyone gets to be with who they want... one of the tragedies of life for far too many people, but there's nothing anyone can really do about that.

I thought it was really clever the way you interjected things like "wizards... with impeccable manners" showing clearly the sort of things Snape would hone in on, knowing that there is now way in hell he'll ever have impeccable manners and feeling a sort of learned helplessness that this is apparently what Hermione values in a man.

[bore into her] This seems an odd phrase, since we're in Snape's POV at the time (or so I can gather, since he's eavesdropping.)

I was a bit frustrated at Harry here, but in a "this is a human way to behave" kind of way. Man, I hate people who say harsh things and then, before or after, tack on "I don't mean to be harsh, but..." Either mean to be harsh and own it, or think up something less harsh to say, people :p

Loved Snape's thoughts on what beauty is, intellectually speaking, and how that's totally different to finding someone attractive. And yes, thank God he's appreciating her for real attributes and real expression and character, not suddenly deciding she's physically the hottest thing he'd ever seen in his life (or worse, her suddenly getting some sort of makeover and BEING the hottest thing he'd ever seen in his life. Ugh.)

Oh, the bitterness in that last line is so strong I can practically taste it. Hopefully those two will get their act together (I have faith and confidence in you :p)
Edhla chapter 13 . 6/9/2014
So, regarding my double review :p For some reason my computer won't let me type in the review box anymore. All my reviews are written on notepad and then cut pasted, which it also refuses to do a lot of the time. Or, in some cases, does twice without me noticing or being able to delete the copy. Dammit :o Sorry!

I really love the way you phrased Snape's magic "bursting free from the curse bindings" - as if magic is itself a free and sentient agent, like a bird or something. I'm rambling, but I loved it.

I admit I was a little disappointed that much of this was summarised; Hermione's sitting her exams, enrolling in Oxford, Severus becoming a wizarding hermit, etc.

I'm just saying that you should really return to this story and flesh it out a lot more. It's already got a load of followers and such, so I'm sure I wouldn't be the only person thrilled :D Or, you could completely ignore my bossiness and backseat writing, too :p

That imagery of the walled garden... oh, my heart. Beautiful and meaningful at the same time.

I like that you point out how important Severus's magic is to him and how he would really struggle without it. The reflections on Lily, and how he sees more of her in Harry now that he's in a position to take a few steps back and see Harry more objectively (or even with a softer eye) is absolutely lovely, and the reciprocation of Harry helping him "untangle Lily" is similarly great. I get the impression that Snape has had burdens for many years that are suddenly becoming much lighter on him.

YEARS are going by? *Whimpers* I love Snape's reflections on her behaviour and his keen understanding of how much his character differs from hers.

I LOVE the commentary that Hermione is not a muggle; she's like a witch with a disability.

Lupin lost his legs? Better than his life, but jeez, you love to torture your characters even more than I do :p

LOL at Ginny not crying, rather throwing things.

[without meriting it] wow, the Daily Prophet is entirely staffed with arseholes. I mean, we knew that already, but holy crap.

[capacity to change] And I love you for this. The magical world may have bells and whistles on it that we don't have, but the characters are still human (except for the non-humans, but you know what I mean :p)

I continue to love your portrayal of Ron, our dear bull in the proverbial china shop ;) xx
Edhla chapter 12 . 6/8/2014
Hermione's unimpressed thoughts about Malfoy Manor made me lol, especially as this is a different 'verse to Flood.

Hermione and Draco's discussion reminds me of a story I once read about William Blake. He was fond of his wife Catherine and his brother Robert, but they didn't get along, and rowed constantly. On one occasion Catherine stepped over the line, and William demanded she apologise to him. She muttered something like, "forgive me, Robert; I was in the wrong." He responded by roaring, "Young woman, you lie! I WAS IN THE WRONG!"

Okay, but seriously, there is something you do with my feels, and I don't even have the ability to explain why my feels are all messed up, but the bit with Draco raving on about muggle films smacked my feels around as much as Hermione trying to explain to Snape what a mobile phone is. Please keep writing like this. I lovehate you for it ;)

I think Hermione's right to be suspicious about this "tea" business. I mean, Narcissa might not have been planning outright assassination, but tea is a weapon, for real.

FEELS. DEAD OF FEELS.

Hermione does cry an awful lot in this fic (or so it seems to me) but I think so far you're good for bringing it out to hurt me ;) xHermione's unimpressed thoughts about Malfoy Manor made me lol, especially as this is a different 'verse to Flood.

Hermione and Draco's discussion reminds me of a story I once read about William Blake. He was fond of his wife Catherine and his brother Robert, but they didn't get along, and rowed constantly. On one occasion Catherine stepped over the line, and William demanded she apologise to him. She muttered something like, "forgive me, Robert; I was in the wrong." He responded by roaring, "Young woman, you lie! I WAS IN THE WRONG!"

Okay, but seriously, there is something you do with my feels, and I don't even have the ability to explain why my feels are all messed up, but the bit with Draco raving on about muggle films smacked my feels around as much as Hermione trying to explain to Snape what a mobile phone is. Please keep writing like this. I lovehate you for it ;)

I think Hermione's right to be suspicious about this "tea" business. I mean, Narcissa might not have been planning outright assassination, but tea is a weapon, for real.

FEELS. DEAD OF FEELS.

Hermione does cry an awful lot in this fic (or so it seems to me) but I think so far you're good for bringing it out to hurt me ;) x
Edhla chapter 11 . 6/8/2014
It's terrible, but my first thought was that you really didn't bring your A-game to the whole disclaimer thing this time ;)

I laughed about the Fluxweed roots thing... just the sort of trivial nonsense that Hermione would grab hold of as a way of steadying the boat, so to speak.

AWWW. AWWW MY HEART. I'm so gratified that Snape was as affected as me about the whole crying on the doorstep thing.

Oh, for mercy's sake. In the words of the wonderful Geraldine Granger: "JUST KISS, YOU MORONS!"

Okay, maybe a little early for kissing, but anyway.

This basically sorta IS a sickfic, you know ;) Not just for the Sherlock fans! Snape's lingering all semi-battered still aside, I love the almost childlike reunion with her friends, and all the awkwardness between Harry and Snape. Ouch. You could cut that tension between them with a knife. I felt bad for Harry babbling on, wondering what the hell to say or how to say it, and I just wanted him to shut uuuuuuuuuup.

"For who he was" - bit maudlin for you? :)

Oooh, we know Ron is angry when he's swearing in front of his mother. (That's a good sign I'm angry, and I'm a good 14 years older than he is). Ron, you're being a git. Stop aforementioned being a git immediately.

I LOVE that he does, in an in-character way; by considering strategy. I'd almost forgotten, too, what a difficulty in purely practical terms Hermione and Snape not having their powers will be. Damn...

Aww, gorgeous ending :D
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