|Reviews for Vehemence|
| MsMuffins chapter 52 . 3/17
Wow. This story is just brilliant. I love this story so much , you are an amazing author. You do not find many good stories like this on the site. But anyway on to what I have to say .
Sakura is constantly digging herself in a grave, is she hopping to possibly make sasuke vulnerable so she can pick up the pieces ? That's the vibe I was getting at first honestly. But now I'm unsure of what she's hoping to accomplish , where is she headed.
I do feel sorry for her but my question is why didn't tsunande help her? She saw the dangerous path she is following and she knows how itachi and sasuke are. I dunno maybe she did the best she could but in a way she wasn't helping by annoying the shit out of sasuke and forcing her to be on his team. However she should have realized her students obsession a loooong time ago.
I do love hinata but I enjoy how you portray her and Sakura in the story. Hinata seemed to have little to no character development in the manga same with Sakura. They are both the same people they were since they were little. Lovesick. It made no sense to me. But it's interesting how you put the daughters always suffer almost referring to kikyo, who wants itachi to love her but is now growing this hate. Hinata who wants sasuke and to protect her clans honor but in return is only ruining herself in the process. Sakura who only wants sasuke to love her but in return is only pissing the brothers off and now has a target on her back. The women/daughters are suffering.
I feel as though itachis character is almost perfect. He cares about sasuke so much it is almost obsession. He would do anything in his power to protect him even if it means hurting him. I also enjoyed the part where he thinks of his mother for a brief second and then pushes it away. His mother tried to do everything in her power to love him and show him affection but in a way he never really returned that love full heartedly. Only with sasuke as if he's his father. but this is only pushing sasuke further from his reach, sooner or later it's going to end badly.
Sasuke is also well made in this story. He's using people to get what he wants. He was always that way even in the manga. You developed it more and showed him using people, but still have some other emotions thrown in there. He's not stupid but he is arrogant. All of his traits are portrayed perfectly.
I forget which chapter it was but a question popped up in the story referring to sasuke and itachi being moths and the purple lilies. Which brother is the moth and which one is the flower? I feel as though maybe sasuke is the flower because sasuke is trying to push away from itachi not go towards him. He loves him but not in the sense of him throwing his life away for him. Itachi however loves sasuke and wants him protected and will do anything for him but he doesn't realize the growing malice inside of sasuke. So I cannot see sasuke being the clueless moth that goes towards an innocent looking flower only to die. Itachi believes sasuke is the innocent one. So please tell me if I'm wrong or if I completely missed the target lol.
Anyways I love your story and I hope you update soon. There was so much more I had to say but it would've taken probably all day to read it lol. P.s: love suigetsus character he's probably my fave right now and thank you for not making overly powered characters it really add to the story so that no one is just "untouchable " and "godly" like it's realistic and that's wonderful.
| SaltyChip chapter 52 . 3/7
You do a good job of portraying lust.
On another note ... Ohh, Hinata fanboys are going to come at you for what you've done to her!
And look at Kikyo and Sakura. Those pains are the result of their true loves playing hard to get. But, keeping in mind the canon manga, they will get their boys in the end. The lady always gets her man! The feelings are too strong.
| Guest chapter 52 . 2/27
God, you write you fcking well, I wish you could update more often *_*
Thanks for all the work so far!
| Guest chapter 51 . 2/26
Kikyo thinks she can make Itachi to fall for her with her fake charms. She is a spoil girl that use her body to lure men and try to get what she wants. Her giggling is annoying. And it shows how childish her behavior is. Itachi better wise up and not fall into her pathetic charms.
| SaltyChip chapter 51 . 2/26
Thank you for being considerate and not overusing italics. Interesting fact about the spider. And inclusion of the lilies and moth. That was a nice link between Fugaku's, Itachi's, and Sasuke's characters.
NOW ON TO THE MORE IMPORTANT PORTION OF MY REVIEW.
Oh, that guy who coincidentally has Sasuke's chakra pattern better watch out. Kikyo belongs to Itachi and Itachi alone. That guy who works for her is going to get his *** beat. Just like anyone who tries to steal Sasuke from Sakura will. Sakura's love for Sasuke is greater than a million burning suns. That is never going away. Which is why Sarada was born.
| libretamagica chapter 51 . 2/25
Me gusto mucho este capitulo y que veamos un poco de la relación de sasuke y Rao nunca los había visto interactuando
| SaltyChip chapter 50 . 2/21
Great imagery throughout the piece.
Let me guess. Kikyo has Itachi's baby but he refuses to pay child support. Because it wasn't his fault or choice exactly. Kikyo gets the Sakura treatment like in Naruto Gaiden and is a single mom. I'll be waiting for that to happen.
| MarvelHero1610 chapter 50 . 2/13
This is an odd story, since its both a mixture of canon characterization in a very weird sort of AU. Mind you, I like it a lot as it is very different from a lot of stories of this nature that simply expand on canon knowledge. I'm interested but I'm not exactly sure if I like it, I guess.
I really like your writing style, though. It's engaging and I'm able to learn a lot about technique just from reading you and that's probably the greatest compliment I can give you.
| Guest chapter 50 . 1/24
It shows this was updated, yet I don't see new chapter 51.
| oMeGa1904 chapter 21 . 1/10
Tbh dislike Sasuke's insane masochist devotion towards Itachi in your fic. I know you exaggerated that trait from canon manga however there is another trait in Sasuke's character which seems to be missing. His competition against him. Sasuke loved his brother but he also desired to surpass him. That trait was present before and after the massacre. And he should be defiant against him, in the sense that he wants also to prove himself, not being in his brother's shadow. Since your characters are old, more than 25, they still having that kind of relation rubs me the wrong way, he should have already stopped with that, and at least try to be his own way, gain power his own way, like he did in the manga. I would have liked if Sasuke would have at least toned down that devotion towards Itachi.
| oMeGa1904 chapter 20 . 1/10
I think you should update and correct your canon info. Koto was Shisui's genjutsu and had a cooldown of 10 years according to Itachi. Itachi couldn't stop Sasuke from destroying Konoha even if he wanted to, he didn't have Koto anymore. If I were to categorize Itachi's motivations it'd have been like this 1)Sasuke's life 2) Almost insane Nationalism 3) Sasuke's will. He in his Koto directive doesn't respect Sasuke's wishes and he's fine if he lives all his life like a brainwashed fool if he's alive for all purposes, since he gave that crow to Naruto when he said "he will find a way without killing Sasuke". At best at the end his 2nd and 3rd motive overlaps but you can't tell for certain since he didn't have the tools to prevent Sasuke from going against Konoha since he needed to dispel ET, so that SA would win the war.
| Undescribed-Beauty chapter 51 . 1/6
This will be my first review for your story so here it goes. First off your writing is amazing I haven't seen character or plot complexity in a long time on a fanfic story its just amazing and overwhelming cause its really good. The plot is entirely different from what I usual read and it is so good. I tried within my three days of reading this story to not think of the Naruto characters as they characters portrayed in this because some are my favorite characters are coming off very negatively but that's just my own personal preference regardless this is a truly intriguing story that I can honestly say I enjoy. Sasuke I can say has stayed similar to his character in the manga just more of a hard ass and deeply disturbed. I wish Itachi was developed like this in the manga. His love for his brother is great there but in this story I think it really highlights Itachi's love for him by showing the good and bad effects of it. He basically raised him like his child and its almost funny to seem them as brothers because Sasuke comes off as trying to escape an overbearing father. You can see the complexity of their relationship in every encounter and it makes me feel so excited when I read about them together. I can go on about them forever lol. Hmm Naruto isn't all that different for me just more realistic in the since its the world he lives in. He can come as the most relatable character through his struggles and hardships he is facing with his affair,wife,and family. I enjoy reading about him because of those reasons and I adore his character in this fic even more than in the manga. Suigetsu is fucking boss like there is no filter with him i love him lmao. Gosh and now onto the women who seem to be lacking power. Hinata is that character I never really cared for in the manga. Everyone kind of painted her off as a saint like she did no wrong because she loved the same guy for years same as another person but she got respect for it because she had a cool family background and the fact that her love interest didn't flat out reject her. So I kind of found her meh she was just OK. Here though its like all those faults are on the table and explored and others one you added. She isn't holy, she isn't a goody two-shoes and she isn't being praised for ridiculous things. She's like an ordinary person trying to be good for that perfect society and for her own reflection in the mirror when in reality she isn't. She yearned for love but sought it in the wrong place she wanted a happy marriage for her family but failed to make an effort into it herself and she tried to blame others for her own faults when she couldn't handle it herself. In all I like this portrayal of her it coinsides with Naruto too. And for the final person that I wasn't going to talk about but because she's beginning to become a piece in the game I will. Sakura from the get go is like a love hate relationship. You wanna cheer them on but you can't because it seems worthless because of the decisions they make. I must say out of all the characters she has got to be the only one truly intact with the original source just a bit more extreme. This girl gosh wanted to kill herself over a guy the same guy who has treated her like shit for years. Like fucking grow a pair train yourself get it over and find love with a man who actually loves you! Again its a love hate relationship because the sad thing is there are girls out here who do this same shit. Sakura really does needs some therapy in this story cause I can't see if its actually love or just lust, maybe both but if it was just lust...honestly I don't know she's more disturbed than Sasuke and nothing major happened to her. The whole killing him thing is something I can see, scorned by a lover so you want payback but its not the route she should go. Gosh I just really want the best for her but at this route she'll just end up in the grave Sasuke already has planned for her. Its highly unlikely she'll come off as victorious unless she has a moment of clarity but then again she's facing knifes from all sides. I'm curious where you will take her - build her up to finally get that ounce of love from Sasuke then be killed or never get any of it and be killed. Or maybe something totally different? Either way I think Sasuke will kill her without even having sex with her because she's that easy. Sakura would have to really gain something to take control and based on her development as a crazy obsessive bitch wanting some dick(lmao) she's smart but she ain't that smart. Hopefully you'll surprise me cause you have made her into very complexed interesting character that you could write a horror love story on. Anyway the only major fault about this I would say is the amount of women who would fucking drop their pants for Sasuke. And I get sex is a major part in this but having women who can play the game right just as easily would be nice without them losing I guess vice versus. I really appreciate this fic and will continue and I'm so sorry for the long review. Update soon can't wait to see how this will all end.
| Guest chapter 50 . 1/5
Sasuke better kill Sakura before she poison him completely with the flowers or whatever. Sakura is disgustingly demented. Really want to see her suffer for all the things she done. Tsunade can't keeping protecting her. As for Kikyo, Itachi is sloppy in letting himself fall into her amateur tricks. Is she trying to get pregnant? Itachi is acting just like Sasuke and to think he reprimanded Sasuke earlier for his sexual activities. He is no better. Don't really care who Itachi sleeps with. It'll be just another courtesan for him.
| KennedyTheCount chapter 50 . 1/5
-Drags herself out of the cavern titled ‘Adulthood and College Life.’-
Geez, what a, -trips over own shackles-, how did that get there, anyways, what a horrible semester. Good riddance to 2016.
Happy new years, by the way. I hope everything on your side is going well, haha. It’s good to be back and I’ve been having a great time reading your new chapters. Hmm, where to start? Well, foremost I would like to say thank you for writing this story and for updating so frequently. I know that at least twice a month I have something to look forward to. You’ve been doing such wonderful work, keep it up.
The last time I wrote a review was on chapter 43, (during the Uchiha brothers’ fight before you changed things around a bit with the chapters) and things have escalated to quite the spicy intensity, for a lack of a better word. I’m digging it.
Hmm, lets see, I think I’ll start with Suigetsu. I especially love the way you write Suigetsu, and you nailed it in this chapter. The whole, “she ways eyeing your brother like a fine piece of meat,” and, “I saw it with my own two eyes,” part killed me. The amount of second hand embarrassment I felt for her was too real. He didn’t read her like an open book, he turned that book into a feature length motion picture and broadcasted it to all the Uchiha channels. My favorite part out of all of that was Sasuke’s reaction. He couldn’t care less what Sakura did or if she did it with Itachi, it was the way Suigetsu was talking about Itachi that slightly freaked him out. At that I hollered with laughter. Suigetsu’s the type of guy that would drop some stupid dank meme in the middle of a fight just to throw an opponent’s guard off.
And the sad part is that it would probably work too.
Next we have Sakura. Ah yes, good ol’ fashion Sakura. This poor girl, I swear. The second hand embarrassment I’m still feeling for her is so bad that I’m laughing to myself while typing this. All jokes aside though, I’m glad you give her credit when it’s due. No one can argue that she has great chakra control and is intelligent but that doesn’t make her cunning, and you have to be more than cunning to not draw attention to yourself when you’re doing what she’s doing. Especially if you’re surrounded by people like the likes of Itachi and Sasuke. The amount of conflicting feelings I have for her are unnecessarily too much.
A part of me is like, “love makes you do stupid things, very very stupid things. Sakura don’t be dumb, you know Itachi is onto you, and Sasuke shouldn’t be too far behind. (In regards to her talk with Tsunade) Get it together girl, say the truth. Reach out for help. Put your love for Sasuke and pride behind you. Fuck Danzo, you’re above this, I know all your hard work and progress has been for Sasuke, but you can still change. There’s still time. Tell Naruto the truth, and explain the situation to Hinata, it’s the least they deserve. Be kind to yourself and those around you. Preach that Eat, Pray, Love bullshit. You can do this!”
And the other part of me is like, “nah. This isn’t Romeo and Juliet or a sappy love story. Sasuke has never had any interest in you, and your love for him is borderline obsessive and filled with deranged lust. Sasuke should invite her over to his house one night and when she walks in she sees Hinata and him together in bed, she’d go ballistic and tell Naruto and boom! (But then that would cause a shit show for Itachi so I don’t think it’ll work out in their favor.) Or or, Itachi sends her on a suicide mission that gives her no other options than to chose between Sasuke and herself and well, that would take a thorn off from his side. You don’t go claiming love for someone and be so bitter about it that your only way to resolve this besides moving on is to conspire against him and his brother in a murderous plot that could potentially harm the entire village as well. Winter is coming and the Cherry Blossom trees are dead, pinky. Watch your back.”
I swear, Pinky is such a wasted potential. (Not in your story, just in general.)
Following the pinkette we have Itachi. Ah yes, everyone’s problematic fav. Love the way you write him, present him, and his ever loving devotion for Sasuke. I don’t really get why some of the reviews might mark this as incestuous, I don’t think it really comes off as that, imo. Half your clan got massacred when you were thirteen and when you’re as smart as Itachi, you’re going to do what you need to do to not only survive, but keep what you’ve worked so hard to achieve saved as well. If people would actually bother to read half of what you put on your notes or headers they’d realize that it isn’t about Uchiha’s not loving enough, is that they love too much. I get it, it’s rough, and I don’t want that to change, especially not in a character like Itachi who the closest thing he can see as a form of love (even if at times he might not recognize it) is Sasuke. Which brings me to Kikyo.
A part of me was very hesitant about liking or disliking her character. I wasn’t sure how her character would turn out or how her role in all of this would influence Itachi, if it did at all, but I’m glad I waited a while before I commented about her character. Kikyo, in a very low-key manner, especially in this last chapter reminds me of Johan Leibert. Well mannered, charismatic, with loyal subjects, and a seeming less flawless nature. Sure, she might never be as callous, psychopathic, or nihilistic as him, (from what we’ve seen) but there’s this sense of urgency that she brings out in Itachi, even if it’s very small, that makes their little charades very interesting to read. While I do not think they make a good couple (in terms of romance) they do make a great partnership/friends. I’m not sure if even Itachi would go as far as calling her a friend in the far future, if she doesn’t die after having the scroll extracted from her, but it would be interesting to see how their relationship progresses.
Also I don’t see how the sex scene was vulgar or unexpected. That girl saw a chance and she took it, not like we can blame her, but yeah. You know what’s vulgar? Reading fanfiction from 2005 - 2009 where there’s somewhere in the description written LEMON. Yeah, now some of those fanfictions were vulgar lol.
And last but not least, we have Sasuke, Naruto, and Hinata. Que arroz con mango. Its Spanish for, what a mess. Literal translation, a mixture of rice and mango but meant to explain what a shit situation, or mess something has become. You know what these characters need? Therapy. You know what they also need? LEARNING HOW TO COMMUNICATE. The scene where Sasuke and Hinata had their little ‘argument’ or ‘talk’ really goes to show how these characters handle their problems. Hinata had a perfect moment to shut Sasuke up, tell him how Naruto really was, how he handled his problem. How his problem was her, and how Naruto viewed her and what happened to her with the inner conflict going inside of her. But then again, what do you tell someone who already has his mind made up about their preformed ideas and thoughts of you, and your husband who is his said best friend? You’d have to leap over flaming hoops, jump through Suna, under the Cloud’s nose, and past the Hyuga compound to drag back every bit of proof just to be taken into consideration. That’s also taking into consideration you don’t tarnish your father’s reputation, get yourself killed, or meet Itachi somewhere along the line.
Sasuke and Naruto are no better in that regard either. It’s an endless cycle. A part of me is very aware that Sasuke give no fucks. Absolutely none, no matter who he hurts or what he has to do to achieve his goal. While I don’t agree with it, I get it. Again, PTSD and family being massacred at a young age will do that to you. You can tell, especially in that last chapter where he’s telling Shark Week that he’ll kill of Sakura himself and the poor bipedal Shark is all like, “cool cool, damn it’d be a real shame if Itachi came back… any second now. Yup, any second now.” Cause Suigetsu knows, not only because his life is being threatened by Itachi, but also because he’s fully aware of the extend Sasuke will go to achieve his goals. If it means killing Sakura and it eventually coming over to him, then so be it. What’s stopping him from going rogue, Itachi? Maybe, but for how long? Which leads to the question, what will Naruto do if Sakura dies or worse, he finds out the truth about her?
Well, I guess only time will tell, haha.
Yet again, I am sorry for the long review, but I am looking most forward to your next chapter! Stay healthy and safe.
| nuriiko chapter 51 . 1/5
I am hoping there would be HinataxItachi moment. Haha.