|Reviews for Rise & Shine|
| Ganheim chapter 2 . 11/4/2014
in a dress"
it just sounds
The redhead isn't
[Who is this? If it’s attempting to change Rise’s description, she’s brown (if a different brown) in the game, manga, and both anime that I know of. If you’ve shifted it to red (or if it’s not Rise) then we need something clarifying the owner of that red hair since you haven’t clearly introduced one yet]
(He feels his
[I’m confused what this is supposed to be – narrative description? No parenthesis needed for that then. Part of it might be mis-phrased thought, but that’s either indicated with inverted commas ‘’ or italics, not parenthesis]
she would disappear
[Would or could?]
Yosuke rolls away
[Leans? Backs up?]
all voted for something we don't even understand
[Couldn’t possibly necessitate a re-vote]
[Not false per se]
and please" Rise
As early as it is I can’t say that the characterization really feels off or not, but the technical flaws (punctuation, occasional capitalization) flaws do not draw me in. At least it’s dealing with aspects of the game/series that were’t explicitly shown in the series, so it’s not just game regurgitation.
| GracieWolf chapter 3 . 12/30/2012
I was laughing during this. I should be sleeping but this is to good, I can't stop reading
| GracieWolf chapter 1 . 12/30/2012
only the first chapter and I'm drawn into this story XD I love it
| tashaj4de chapter 3 . 9/21/2012
| SuperNova23 chapter 3 . 9/20/2012
That's so sweet! I loved every word!
| SaberTheFallenAngel chapter 3 . 9/20/2012
Has anyone else noticed that only the girl/girl relatioships have gone anywhere so far?
Anyway good chapter, keep it up.
| tashaj4de chapter 2 . 9/18/2012
...not sure what to say XD
| SuperNova23 chapter 2 . 9/17/2012
Yes! I love it! Yukiko and Chie deserve each other! And NaoRin sounds cute too. And Yosuke, you always have Teddie D
| SaberTheFallenAngel chapter 2 . 9/17/2012
well... that was interesting...
Another good chapter. keep it up.
| SaberTheFallenAngel chapter 1 . 9/16/2012
I'm not suprised that Naoto managed to dodge wearing a maid uniform. Though my reaction to Kanji wearing one was something along the lines of... AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHH HHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH! IT BURNS!
Anyway! Good start, hope to see more.
| tashaj4de chapter 1 . 9/16/2012
Soooo following this XD
...Maybe Kanji should've switched outfits with Naoto XD