Reviews for Perfection is Overrated
xn3ct chapter 25 . 11/6/2016
This was an interesting experiment. I liked how you managed to incorporate so many Mary-Sue characters but still keep fairly close to the original Mai Hime plot.
Graveofthefireflies chapter 1 . 1/3/2014
I’m fandom blind but I have decided to give this story a go as the idea behind the plot is very intriguing. I like this sort of parody. Calling the new threat SUEs was a nice touch.
From the outset the first character is introduced in a perfect Mary Sue spirit. I’m just surprised that we don’t get to experience a lengthy description of her clothing, hair and uniquely coloured eyes. ;)

I’m slightly confused about some details of the plot but I think it’s just because I am not familiar with the work this story is based on. I’m sure it would be much more clear if I watched the original. It is a very fast paced chapter and a lot is going on. This has hold my attention throughout despite the fact that I’m not familiar with the characters. There is a good balance of dialogue and description here.

Overall it’s a good first chapter, likely to capture readers attention.
ArmorOfGeddon chapter 29 . 8/24/2013
The sad thing is, for characters in a work of fiction, the SUEs aren't all that unbelievable as characters:

I've seen worse religious fanatics than Shizune in fiction (and have heard of some more cowardly, hypocritical, and depraved in real life). In some works of fiction, antagonists like her actually succeeded in doing far more damage before they died. Doesn't help that I have been reading fanfiction for years, and I actually recall an infamous (at the time) Mary Sue from way back who was basically a less bloodthirsty version of Shizune including her powers trumping others because they came from God (she was held up by many fanfiction writers of the time as a perfect example of what not to do when writing OCs and self-inserts).

I've seen people willing to do horrible things to alter time for selfish personal reasons, even famous heroes (look at the latest DC animated movie, "The Flashpoint Paradox", where the Flash accidentally sets off the apocalypse just because he wanted to save his mom), so Toki isn't all that unrealistic so much as she is pitiable/pathetic. She likely wouldn't have caused anyone any serious trouble if she hadn't been deceived into believing she needed to mess with the past of the Himes to gain Hayate's love, so she was manipulated into being a threat. In a more light-hearted work, like a rom-com or a sci-fi sitcom, she would just use her powers to constantly repeat her days whenever something goes wrong in hopes of making a better impression on her crush.

Sekai wouldn't be too out of place as the arc villain in any given sci-fi/fantasy story. A power-stealing/dimension-hopping villain would make for your average anime filler arc (heck, she almost sounds like some of the Bleach villains from the filler arcs).

Hitomi is basically a far stupider version of Johann; the main antagonist from the manga "Monster", who was sociopathic and evil child. She wouldn't even be unbelievable as a protagonist (just look at "American Psycho"). She's only unbelievable as a good guy. In fact, her personality is probably a fairly realistic portrayal of what someone whose spent her entire life with the power to force others to do her bidding would grow up to be like if left unchecked.

Ironically enough, the arguably least dangerous, Meiko and Bachiko, were the most unbelievable and shallow. Going to all that trouble, including risking their lives and the lives of the one they love most, just to play matchmakers, even when their powers cause them to doubt their own feelings for each other, just makes them come off as pathetic idiots.

Mariko, despite being your typical Purity Sue, is ironically the most likeable despite her power rather than because of it. When faced with the fact that her popularity was a lie, she chose the moral highground and tried to stop the madness of the other's plots, and was even realistic enough to fear that she might not be able to always resist the temptations to abuse her power in the future if things got hard. That took insight and strength of character. It helps that, although her popularity was artificial, she was still a skilled academic and athelete. Unless she was simply made to have those talents, she still earned them through effort, so at least one point in her favor.
ArmorOfGeddon chapter 28 . 8/24/2013
Rather than say she came off as one of the most powerful, it's certain that she had the most raw combat power. A shield that can block almost anything, a sword that can cut through almost anything, and a Child that negates other people's superpowers. Nothing else trumps that save Toki's time travel, and only if she gets to mess with Shizune's past with impunity.

It's interesting though. I had thought Meiko and Bachiko were simply fools for placing themselves so close to the Himes, especially Bachiko for making herself an old childhood friend of Mai's of all things. However, this omake reveals that her having to be someone whose known Mai for a long time was a handicap placed on them by the Author/Advisor. Had they simply placed themselves as casual friends Mai had made after transferring to the school, they might have gone undetected for far longer and done far more damage. Heck, had they simply disabled everyone they stung the way they did Midori, or even sicced Midori on the others like they did with Nao and Shizuru, they might have still stood a chance.

Quite a few of the SUEs would have either won or done far more damage if they had just bit more luck or the Himes had just a little less luck. However, the luck that they would have otherwise had if they had been written in a straight-up Mary Sue fic simply wasn't there, and it was a far more crucial loss than was readily apparent going through the fic.

It's also quite the coincidence that, if he/it had simply waited just a bit longer before sending Hitomi out, the Ursurper might have done much more damage since the girls would have already been fighting each other.
ArmorOfGeddon chapter 24 . 8/24/2013
Fridge Horror moment for the girls here. The Avatar reveals that, while their universe is now safe, there are countless universes out there where incredibly selfish, shallow god-like beings play with everyone's lives like they are cheap toys. Granted, they are all smart enough to realize there is nothing they can do to help these other worlds, but it must be horrifying for them to know entire universes out there, including ones that paraellel their own and thus have counterparts to themselves, are essentially being raped of their free will (and sometimes even raped physically if any of those beings are like the Ursurper).

Nevermind the aggravation of knowing that their lives were played with, and innocents sacrificed, all by a being who is above punishment by their laws (indeed, above any sort of punishment at all), and whose future interference is prohibited only by his/it's own word. They have no guarantee that the Avatar's creator will never interfere in their lives again, nor any consolation for those innocents who were killed by his SUEs and their families. To add insult to injury, his interference prevents the mass ressurection that happened in the original series, even if the team suffered less casualties over all because he gave them a common enemy to fight.

Makes one wonder what would have happened had a more subtle SUE been their first real opponents (Hitomi was certainly good for uniting them under a common banner, as Sekai and Shizune would also be, but Bachiko and Meiko would have given them fits if they had been the first to make their move).
ArmorOfGeddon chapter 23 . 8/24/2013
My only real question was in regards to Suzuka. We, as the readers, know she was meant to be a parody of fanfiction where canon characters are altered or powered up for plot purposes (despite her design being that of manga Haruka's), but storywise she was a blank slate. She didn't act anything like Haruka, but we also didn't know her ambitions or desires, or even if she recognized that she was a mere imitation of someone else, let alone why Makoto was her most precious person (beyond that the plot required it in order to start the domino effect of the bad guys losing).
ArmorOfGeddon chapter 21 . 8/24/2013
Ah, the Mai-Hime manga. It's what atually got me into the series in the first place (found Yuuichi to be an obnoxious protagonist for some reason though, but other than that it was an enjoyable enough read). Led to some real surprise for me when I finally saw the anime and realized Haruka wasn't a Hime (which was a shame, her combo with Yukino was a pretty clever use of their respective powers), but instead Shizuru was (and she was a yandere lesbian).
ArmorOfGeddon chapter 10 . 8/23/2013
Only one thing confuses me regarding Shizune. The person she cared for most... was some random girl she saw trying to convert a friend to Christianity? Really? Not her father/mother/insert-influential-religious-figure- in-her-life-here/some-Christian-buddy-who-actually -shares-her ideology-if-not-her-bloodlust, but some random stranger, whose full name was likely unknown to her, and that she saw perhaps just a few hours before her death? That was... kind of random. It felt almost tacked on just so our heroines would also have the death of an innocent on their consciences.

You'd think, given her fanaticism, that her most beloved person would have been Jesus or Jehovah/Yaweh, in which case nobody would have died along with her (after all, it wouldn't matter if her devotion was hypocritical; it was still the being she devoted her life to). I'm not complaining; the story has already long since ended, so that would be pointless. I'm just curious as to your reasoning behind that particular plot decision.
ArmorOfGeddon chapter 4 . 8/23/2013
Nice. Hitomi cared for no one but herself, despite her speech about how she was granting her victims 'freedom', so naturally she was her own most precious person.

I kind of feel sorry for Mariko now though (even if I laughed my butt off at her fate initially; she sure chose the wrong series to be in given her ability). Makes you wonder what kind of insecure and lonely person she really was deep down inside to have a Child that makes people love her despite her supposed atheleticism and academic prowess (IIRC, in Code Geass, C.C. originally had a similar power before she gained her benefactor's code and became immortal). Maybe someone who was constantly pressured by her parents to excell and believed others would only love her if she was the best at everything?
RobotPirateNinja chapter 10 . 5/21/2013
So. Why doesn't the Usurper have the next batch of Sues report them to the police for having a gun? That is a huge, huge, huge deal in Japan. Plus the Mind Control/Rewrite Duo could have done it easily. Hell, there was no need for them to ever interact with the Himes at all. Just sic the entire police department on them. They run? Dangerous fugitives. Call in more troops, we don't want more of those serial killings. They fight? Holy shit, mass murdererers. Send in the army. They surrender? Good game, thank you for playing. Or they get murdered in jail.

But yeah, the Usurpers gameplan and the Sues built were rather suboptimal from a minmaxing perspective.
RobotPirateNinja chapter 26 . 5/19/2013
If one side is able to render another unable to counterattack, shouldn't they win? I mean, that's valid. By the way, what are the powers the Sues didn't discover?
RobotPirateNinja chapter 24 . 5/19/2013
So the SUES were screwed even if they had won? They just would have gotten hijacked?
RobotPirateNinja chapter 1 . 5/18/2013
No Harem collector Sue who tries to get several canon characters head over heals for them despite not being worth such devotion?
Dashiet chapter 1 . 2/19/2013
I read the first paragraph and already became confused. Couldn't even read past it. Nice language and diction, just lacks organisation and...interest...
Guest chapter 7 . 1/8/2013
Wow good action scene there
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