|Reviews for Tarnished Gold|
| StardustNyako chapter 1 . 9/23/2012
I loved how much thought you put into this, the final couple oflines could have been explained/ ex[anded on a bit better though.
| Merp chapter 1 . 9/16/2012
Ooooh I am impressed! The witch sounds really dangerous. Sounds like salad fingers though. "I like rusty gears"
Hehe. But nice job! I think it is pretty well written.
| Markus Ramikin chapter 1 . 9/17/2012
That was rather interesting. Was that witch your original creation? I liked some of the imagery involved.
So your Mami has even less in control of her own magic at the start of her career than Sayaka did? Exploding guns... at least Sayaka didn't cut herself with her own swords, that we know of anyway ;).
I have to say I saw some rather weird language choices in there. For example:
"Sunlight streamed into the window of Mami Tomoe"
I don't think "Mami Tomoe" as such has windows. "Mami Tomoe's house/room" would, for example:
Sunlight streamed through the window into Mami Tomoe's bedroom.
Still, decent story, it's always nice seeing writers taking a closer look at our poor Mami...