Reviews for Hero Harry |
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![]() ![]() ![]() Excellent chapter. A pity Tom didn't finish High School. So many colleges look at the Diploma as proof of ability to stay the course and quit when things take a while to finish. As for Tom needing permission to rent a place. Not so if Tom is emancipated. That means he is legally of age and able to sign an contract and marry but not drink yet. Tom should find a book or two on resolving conflicts and hand them to his dad with the words that it will help him with his employees. That might open his dad's eyes to the problems he is having in his home. Filing for emancipation would help as well. Most judges would try to reconcile the opposing parties first. so family counseling would be mandatory. Counseling would help ginny as well even if her family doesn't come. |
![]() ![]() ![]() Excellent! Ginny needs to have a long talk with her parents and her family. Talk about the Burrow and how magic could have made it look better. Talk about the plans Ginny made to improve the Burrow that she was going to carry out when she came home that summer. Ask her parents why they never improved the house. Just a couple of hours a day, a few times a week and in a year the Burrow would have been stable and beautiful and they size needed. Point out this. Ask why they chose to live the way they did. They simply say "I am not willing to live that way any longer. I will fix up my room and this house as practice for when and if we got back to the Burrow. If that is not acceptable I will find another place to live." |
![]() ![]() ![]() Harry is learning about himself better. So is everyone else. |
![]() ![]() ![]() Well Sera was not helpful to Harry nor is she here. Not cool. |
![]() ![]() ![]() Good explanations. though why is Harry in the wheel chair, why is he in the shape he is? |
![]() ![]() ![]() Padfoot white? Serious black became a radio dj! |
![]() ![]() ![]() Is seras a reference to Hellsing? I recognized the name, but her intent to be a cop is similar too. |
![]() ![]() ![]() The structure of the prologue and first chapter could use rearranging. It would work better to focus on Harry in England for the prologue, to set up the setting and characters. |
![]() ![]() ![]() Harry with miniguns Huh Color me intrigued |
![]() ![]() ![]() Tabane's accent sounds painfully contrived and frankly, racist. I teach English in Japan and even the most rudimentary speaker doesn't haven't such a pronounced leaning on "d" and "r". The accent is more light or misapplied emphasis on certain syllables and some inconsistent grammar. Often their grammar and vocabulary is better than white speakers. Also, better writers have attempted accents, and it simply obfuscates the pace of the story without providing much benefit While I'm here, I'm finding Seras's story-from cafe to imprisonment-boring, your characterization of Hermione a bit too bland (Orihime/Tohru), George Granger's experiments only occasionally interesting and the resurrection of Lily Potter somewhat forced. Emotional development of the abused Harry-although the graphic nature of the violence concerns me, but I'm widely a minority there-and Petunia's more sympathetic treatment & redemption is still very interesting |
![]() ![]() ![]() I really enjoyed 'Brutal Harry' and i kept waiting for more from you and than I lost the info and I read 'BH' again and read 'HH'. I found 'HH' to be darker than 'BH'; that does not make either a bad fic. I am curious as why Sirius and Remus were not in 'HH'? And what happened to Umbridge? I enjoyed how the Hogwarts students were growing as people in 'HH' Thanks and good luck writing |
![]() ![]() I loved this story. Thank you very much for sharing it with us. |
![]() ![]() I enjoyed reading Hero Harry and Brutal Harry very much. I found your author's notes helpful sometimes and other times so squicky. God the father sending his son Christ to die within a world he himself created, including all elements of it like death, pain and the concept of crucifixion doesn't seem like a sacrifice or proof of love. I don't understand why you think it is. And it's such a stretch to shove talk about Godly love and Godly hatred of non gender conformity into your interesting fantasy story about wizards. I guess you had a burning drive to. |
![]() ![]() ![]() This was good. Not as good as the prequel, but good. About the religious theme, it won't convert me, but it wasn't intended to convert me, and that is good. You showed your point of view with actual arguments, and that's more than what is seen around here. Leave the ranting to ANs, otherwise it will make us just hate the characters. |
![]() ![]() ![]() I have not placed a review on your Brutal Harry, but I just wanted to say that these two stories are just fantastic works and had me chuckling at a few parts and completely captured my interest and attention. Thank you for writing this story and posting it on Fan Fiction dot net! |