Reviews for Those Who Stand For Nothing Fall For Anything
To A Lonely P chapter 26 . 5/30/2013
Fluff chapter : 3 I heard the plot's going to move fast. I hope they'll get together. (since they really deserve each other) The suspense!
Carla chapter 26 . 5/25/2013
It found Light, Mikami and Matsuta conversation on what suits would be worn at the next funeral quite entertaining. It got me infuriated when I first read that L was dead of course I shouldn't have trusted Light's statement. So sweet relief when L makes his grand appearance.
I want to thank you for the fluff you have provided us readers. After what happened last chapter with Light's jealousy. But Light dismisses that he was stalking again which he clearly was doing. And found it ironic that Light was annoyed by L's jealously. Seeing L try to save Light from his decisions ( I was cheering him on). But of course that led to an argument at least not as horrible as the last.
I do wonder if Light's plan will have others that agree with him. I do sincerely hope neither Light or L are killed. I was just sadden when L discusses about his dream. What a terrible feeling to have felt when dream Light didn't answer. Got me nearly tearing up (I would hate to have had that dream). So then the fluff pops up and I'm happy but worried it will get crushed. I would like it if Light actually said the words "I love you" to L when L says it but at least he returns the affection. I did remember last chapter that Light mention resigning and wondered when exactly he was going to do that? I forgot to mention that they're discussion and steps towards purchasing a house together. Never would have thought that would happen let only be considered and L selecting a house to Light's preference (how sweet). I'll apologize for what I feel is a horrible review for last chapter and hopefully this isn't as terrible.
Carla chapter 25 . 5/25/2013
First I would like to start with loving the opening. Light unfortunately keeps certain emotions cooped inside. One of the many factor why L won't get to fully understand Light. And Light you are going to have to do more than being nice and smiling towards your security guards to prevent the spread of rumors. And Light now has a baby son in the picture. I am not surprised by the lack of positive joy when finally seeing Kira. Which I find is an appropriate name for Light's son is being named after him. Yes Light you have brought this mess upon yourself but now its too late to fix it.

Then there is Light's reaction to Kiyomi joining politics. Kiyomi of course Light won't want you to join. All sorts of things won't go according, but not everything will go as planned Light. I wonder what excuses or reasons Light has for why Kiyomi should not join. However Light's arrival interrupts their argument and he is going to have to kick it up in gear (his pretending to care) to show that he cares for his family.

Ahh. Then L has already notice that Light has changed. Evident by the cufflinks that weren't from L even if Light explained he wears different kinds as well. L and his mention of Light disciplining him just kept me laughing non stop. L thank god for him at times brings in comic relief especially when Light is being serious or crazy.
Now I want to bodily harm Light for his sudden need to attack L. Chocking and suffocating L towards the end. Even if Light found L frustrating and conversing with Stephen. If anything if L is not seriously killed or wounded, Light should know that L cares for him even with all the stunts he has done. I am glad I won't have to wait long to find out what exactly happens to L.
Lestatash chapter 1 . 5/21/2013
*whistles* not bad!
I'm impressed by your ability to make the conversations appear so natural and not forced and at the same time keeping them complex, humorous and sharp. I really enjoyed reading the first chapter. And oh. my. dog. Over 300'000 words. If it goes on like this ...yeeesss! English isn't my native language (mrs obvious strikes again, huh.) but I can feel the quality of your writing skills! (hope you understand what I'm trying to say) lol sorry _
A Lonely Peace chapter 25 . 5/17/2013
Brilliant chapter. ;_; cliffhanger at the end. I wonder what's going to happen next...somehow I hope that Light won't kill L, and L will maybe take a vacation to NY with Stephen, leaving Light insane with jealousy (hahahaha).

Reading this chapter while listening to And All that could have been by NIN is awesome, btw. :3 I hope you'll continue the good work.
mar-mar chapter 25 . 5/15/2013
I'm terrible at reviewing but I'm having many emotions about this last chapter and wanted to let you know that I am having many emotions about this last chapter and to please continue so I can emote more.

I never understood how much I needed lawyer L until this fic, and I don't think I want any other kind of L ever again. Light's narration are beautiful to read, you've written him to be so gorgeously deranged. I always read your dialogues twice to catch your shout outs and word play and you deserve major kudos to writing so well that all the madness isn't off-putting but rather sigh-inducingly lovely (still in a totally bad-shit mad way, though).

Incidentally, have you read Giovanni's Room by James Baldwin? Something about the dialogue and first person narrative reminded me of your fic and I thought I'd drop a recommendation for it if you haven't read it already. It's a tragic gay love story set in gay old Paree.
youremyqueen chapter 24 . 5/1/2013
hjdfkhlsfakbclvhjskjal !

Just wanted to get that out of the way first and foremost, because that's how I feel every time you update, just on principal. I read this chapter in, like, 3/4 and 1/4 because there were very large, juicy paragraphs ahead and I thought, "oh wow I might need those paragraphs later, when trudging the barren landscape of ffn, looking for decent LxLight fanfiction." And let me tell you, those paragraphs were like water in my time of need, and also like alcohol - or the equivalent of alcohol, except something I like. Coffee or macaroni and cheese or cake icing from the tube. One of those things. (Those are all very good things, just in case that's not clear.)

I don't know how you've made me ship LightxB, but it's happened and now the fact that he's gone off and won't be sucking Light's dick anymore - or putting his head in pots - is depressing me. I'm all for LxB and LxLight, but for some reason never quite jumped on the LightxB train as anything but as part of a glorious threesome. In my very L's-jawline-addled brain, it's like taking out the best part, removing the creamy filling of the oreo - and I've just called L "creamy filling" so let's leave this metaphor alone, shall we, Jaye? But the thing is when you write something, everything's the best part. Your Light is honestly my favorite Light, the most striking and fleshed out and human - even in his clinical inhumanity - conception of him I've ever read.

That aside, your prose is startlingly brilliant, as always. I can decided whether to feel self conscious or not. You know how there are some people who are better than you at something and you hate them for it? But then there's other people who are still better than you, but so good that you can't even hate them, because you just plain appreciate their ability? Well, you're definitely in the latter group. I have so much respect for you as a writer, even if this is just a casual thing for you, I really do.

Hmm, what else, let's see...

"No sudden return to the decorum of the untouched for him."

WELL. That just offends me because it's such a good combination of words. There's such great imagery in it, and such little said. I love it. I don't have many quotes this time around because I read most of this on my ipad, but I c/p-ed that one using the shitty ipad select just because it was so good.

and Hnnghhh car blowjobs! I love the prostitute comparison a lot. I love prostitution a lot. One day someone is going to have to write a prostitution!AU for these fuckers (and if we're not all very careful, it's going to be me). I love that Light's mind latches onto that idea and doesn't let it go. That whole last 1/4 is just him drowning himself in imagery of what his life is like, rather than actually living his life. That's most of his life, actually, all ideas being played out and nothing actually concrete or organic. God, I love this fic so much.
Carla chapter 24 . 4/22/2013
Wow! B has now left the building. What a win for Light and a big one. I definitely thought like B that Light was going to forget the events from previous chapter but he didn't. Light was not afraid to tell L everything that occurred with B to leave. I felt B left defeated but was an opponent who was head to head with Light. B made sure to put up a fight unlike the unfortunate Stephen.
Now to discuss about the Penned and Light. I mean it was obvious that L knew more then was saying at first. The incident affected Light to the point he forgot he was present. And Penber being a person Light can actually call a friend was killed. I know Light doesn't believe L that he didn't help take out The Lady for Light's safety but I sense it was part of the reason. (A motivation to protect Light, how this story would have changed if L helped Light)
With death mentioned and L concerned for Light being kept alive it makes to question about what could happen to Light. I don't know if it's just me but it seems like at more frequent that Light wants his secret with L to be known and accepted. (And I cheer that I hope it would happen but then that would be too easy after all that has happened). Kiyomi has to know what is going on between Light and L but is in denial. (Light is sleeping at L's place for a completely different reason dear) Now the baby boy is on its way and Light is treating the event as if it not an important and its disrupting his sleep. The baby means no more being able to stay with L as much as he was. Enjoyed both chapters immensely in I love this story and thankful for you writing this story even though it has ended yet I just wanted to state that (again if I had before).
Carla chapter 23 . 4/22/2013
Light awarded Bastard of all time at the moment. He just had to prove to B that he doesn't know L as well as he thought he did. Would say that Light ended up being a victim by B's comeback with the drug but it isn't as abusive as what Light has and is making them do. L and B for feel bad for both for their endurance around Light (although for L its his love for Light that keeps him along). I wanted to slap Light for mention and reminding L of his past doings and The Blue Note.
It's a wonder that Light was mostly entertained by what was going on between L and B and himself. And the moment when Light sees the Demon (Ryuk) again. I want to know what's going on with Light and his hallucinations?! In a way its good that B drugged Light and his memory will be affected since at times its Light has been winning a lot recently (with the top insults and actions if you know what I mean). It does make me think what could possibly happen after this that can top it? The threesome that is clearly sounds like its going to happen is convincing for me by how it was setup in this story. It also is done well since it leaves it for readers to make their own predictions about what is going to occur. Light telling L that he deserves an award and it can only be rewarding by that action alone but L is similar to that as well. Is the relationship between B and L going to be affected by this or Light and L?
ElizabellaLight chapter 23 . 3/22/2013
Alright, here we GOOO! I've switched from whiskey to chai with baileys and if the alcohol content was higher, it would be my new drink of choice. Onto the review then, gonna go step by step before the freakout.

Uhhh...somehow I lost all my notes, so I'm gonna attempt to do this off of an impaired memory.

Light called Stephen a twink! That has no significance, but it made me very happy for inexplicable reasons. Probably CIA vs. FBI thing. Then...okay, that car? that what I think it is? CIA? well...or...FBI if you're going with the investigation thing. Wedy's death, am I crazy?

Then,'s where my memory crash happens because I had so many lovely quotes that I wanted to fawn over and they're no longer here. SO! I'll do a character by character thing instead.

Light: WHAT A FUCKING PRICK BUT OH MY GOD I LOVED HIM. He is so entirely depraved and crazy controlling and you completely captured it in this chapter and i'm going t cry if you don't write more death note after this because I have NEVER read a better first person Light fic. What he does in this chapter, the way he talks to both L and B, god...I wanted to punch him in the face and simultaneously salivate at his ability to manipulate poor poor L and B. AND THE THING WITH RYUK! Jaye already said it, so why not? Holyshit I can't believe you did that and I just about had a mental breakdown and I'm not saying anything else and K NEEDS TO EMAIL ME! But really, Light in this was just phewwww, suuuper swag like and no wonder L just let him even if it was really sad. I loved the ending where he was just super out of it and I hope he doesn't forget this even though it's likely because I want an aftermath so bad to make up for you NOT WRITING BEYOND AND LIGHT AND L BONING. B would be hammering L, and Light would be going at L's mouth. Is this inappropriate? Ah well...I know that I've already praised you a million times, and nothing of worth is going to be in this...I'll let K do that. She can say all the deep shit and I'll just be myself which is nothing more than a fangirl. but really i love all this so much and i want you to write everything that exists...

L: Can I sob? Can I just curl up and cry because this poor poor shell of a man just needs love and Light abuses him so damn much and while YES he DOES love it, I just want to cry. Oh god I just listened to my L rap cause Tanya wanted to see it and I can't be serious. This'll be the worst reply you ever get, I'm sorry. Okay. But really...the idea of what he did is strangely...I'm like, yay, that was hot, but No L, No. And espcailly cause he kept telling Light to leave the issue with him and Beyond alone, and Light KNEW that he could make him do it because L's just the poorest sod you ever did meet. I find it INTENSELY interesting that B doesn't really know, the rape thing, and B was surpsied. I take it to just be a fact of who L is and even though I have so much more to say about L, I'll say it in an email because of reasons.

BEYOND!: So you already know that I just kiss his feet, but gahhh. He...I want to wrap him up, can I wrap him up? Everytime he spoke I wanted to pat him on the back because he is the most taken advantage of. L, L, I know...but I don't think it's actually L here that's the most taken advantage of. Because out of all of them, B's intentions are the saddest and he TRIED to say no in the face of SO MANY YEARS of unrequited love and THAT is so admirable. But god, did I want to see him tear Light a new one on that couch. Because he would have and HE DRUGGED LIGHT! Didn't expect that, and fueling Light's, errrmmm...hallucinations, god I just want to keep him so bad. Why whyyyyy won't you RP you're too good for everyone in the writing universe. Holyshite you'd blow everyone away.

Kay, so this was a review about sex, I hope you've enjoyed it. This has not much to do with what I originally wanted to review, WAIT!

Okay...Beyond, Light, alright. EVERYTHING LIGHT KEPT SAYING TO B PRESEXMOMENTS. Holyshit, that was just...about him taking his place and showing B that he didn't know him and TAKING HIS PHOTOS. Shit Laura, what are you doing to my heart? That was the best thing I've ever read and I took way too many quotes in my notes to tell you I loved them. Really, I had to stop myself many times. Gah...there was on I HAVE to find.

" You know that I'm telling you the truth about him, and I'm that he's done worse things that neither of us know about, but you don't care. It wouldn't worry me, but you don't want to believe that he's like that because he's your L, your crying waif. But he's not, he's my bastard, so don't fight me. You will always lose"

We're making babies.
youremyqueen chapter 23 . 3/21/2013
AHHHH! You have no idea how brilliantly happy/sad your writing makes me. There isn't a line in this that didn't make me fall down on the floor wanting to die. The prose is so fluid and striking and gorgeous, in this ugly, dirty, bad, wrong way - which is everything this story is and every reason why it's so fucking good.

B/L/Light is the most beautiful thing that's ever happened, and I was stuck between wanting to laugh and wanting to cry here. Light's such a fucker and B's such a fucker and I know L's a fucker, too, but in such an unintrusive, casual, remember-that-time-I-raped-you-sorry-about-that sort of way that he comes out looking stellar in comparison.

/And I know now why I wear these suits, why don't love my wife, why I haven't given a single thought towards naming my child. I know why I put myself in a storm of hatred where I could only destroy or be destroyed, and it is all meaningless. What he says in those words means more than every 'I love you' he could say over a lifetime./

LIKE, WHAT IS THAT? HOW IS THAT FAIR. It's brilliant. You're brilliant. I really can't get over it.

Also, Ryuk? RYUK? I don't know whether to laugh or cry and I swear someone needs to get Light some anti-psychotics or something before he really goes off the deep end and starts trying to kill B by writing his name in a notebook

Oh, and is that a National title? Because you've just unlocked my heart THAT IS THE KEY TO MY HEART IS JUST IS. /i love the national. Mostly I love you, though.
thebarstool chapter 21 . 3/10/2013

“Can't resist grandeur, can you? It represents something awful but you can't resist it.” B, you are the philosopher of my heart. I feel this way when I want to buy a designer bag that costs more than I make in a year. Oh, the conflict.

Re: hall of mirrors: B, I sympathize. I'm a complete douche when someone is texting someone else while hanging out with me. If it lasts for more than ten minutes, I legit just walk away.

Just sadness for L too. A MINT IMPERIAL? Those terrible chalky minty candies? That just breaks my heart. And L's mother, damn. No wonder he can't even speak to her really or about her. It was a major betrayal as a child. Not that she didn't have her reason because the Judge sounds like a dickhole but still. L, you're an idiot for staying but boys and their fathers man.

That is absolutely the tops in strange that Light doesn't know L's real name, that L hasn't told him but makes incredible sense. It's possible that it just doesn't have the same meaning to Light as it does to L. Or maybe he figures that calling him 'L' is the most intimate of all because everyone else calls him 'Lawliet'. To L, 'L' is this thing that he says was given to him at Oxford. An identity, a place. Who gave it to him? That's important. But also, it's not a human name, it's not his childhood actual birth certificate name with all the history and bullshit of the past. L is constantly trying to escape himself and with Light only knowing the 'L' he creates a fantasy within Light that all of the past is erased. He still doesn't know if he trusts Light with the rest of himself, what he used to be, who he used to be. The complete human. There's that saying: “I don't know you, I love what I am when I'm with you.” Someone said that to me when I thought I was in love with someone and it stuck with me. It applies here, maybe. Maybe that's what B thinks, just to cheapen it.

“L could only ever be decoration to you, some kind of extension of yourself, maybe, your support system, you can't understand feelings like that.” Hon, look in the mirror. B only loves L the way someone worship an idol of some kind. He's internalized him, can't and won't expel him. B loves the idea of him and if confronted with the real intimacy of a relationship, he would cut and run. Like literally, it would end in homicide.

“'I think he loves me, I know he does,' that's what he said to me once in my favourite café and I couldn't go back there again after he said that, I never could, I never could” I AM SO SAD.

Ahh, B sees it all. I remembered the other thing. B was sort of fascinated and vaguely sympathetic with how desperate Light was at the party. Sort of brothers in desperation and cruel torment. The problem comes with B's hatred and jealousy because the love is requited and it might actually be the sort of selfless love that he doesn't feel but might have saved him from the abyss he's gazing into now. He knows how this is all going to end. At the same time, Light is strong enough to stand up for himself and sees B clearly. Doesn't matter though because B is a creature of self-diversion. He knows how to cope by just focusing his attention on the fantasy that is going to get him through the next couple of months. And of course, deep down Light knows B is right hence why he's trying to forcibly eject him from their lives.

L's wearing the coat and the Dior. Oh that's adorable. And what Light says about. AWW. They kill me.


“I suppose that it might be romantic, this living in moments...this kind of asphyxiation.” YOUR LOVELY WORDS. I think the cynical bitch self died of starvation overnight.

Oh the slap. Ultimately they crave the constant power struggle. They would never be satisfied with complete dominance or complete submission. They live on the thrill of it, the equality and the constant fight for each other's attention. It's glorious. L doesn't want or need someone who worships him completely because worship isn't a human connection it's just empty attention. He wants someone who adores him yes, but knows his flaws and is ultimately willing to confront him. Not in obsessive, disappointed rage but in a direct way. To be reined in. And damn it isn't that what we all need?

“He smiles again, the skin stretching tight...L moves his face to press it against my cheek and his back heaves under my hands.” Ok, threesome. THREEEESOME. When it came into my head I made the creepiest noise I think I've ever made. It was like this hissing, I don't know. The point is, I've abandoned my pride a long time ago.

“And L is so dismissive of B...and you stay there waiting for him to come back to you, because when he does, he makes you real again.” I AM SO SAD. (again) See, Light gets it. But, because B is getting in the way of his ultimate agenda, the empathy only goes so far. Still, I feel so terrible for B as much as he's insane and a bastard. That's some big league sad, wanting someone that badly and not being able to have them. I cry inside. So, I tried to restrain my insanity but this is still ridiculous.

TL;DR Summary: 1. I have too many feelings and not enough pills in me. 2. You are so brilliant. Just raised the bar even further with this chapter. I'm bowing. Don't you see me? Well that's what I'm doing. THIS IS SO LONG. JUST SHOOT ME, GOD.
thebarstool chapter 21 . 3/10/2013
Now you know already that this chapter destroyed me, emotionally. I could not stop thinking about it for days afterward. I EVEN WROTE FANFIC FOR IT IN MY MORNING PAGES. It just...happened, I had no control, man. Anyway.

Regarding Light's idiotic moralizing: I feel both exasperation and sadness for him. He went in with this black and white, childish morality but instead of developing, or growing or adapting, he had to shut himself down to preserve himself from “corruption.” Not saying that he should have given into the Dionysian dream world/psychosis but a more mature, less idealistic person would have been able (maybe) to tolerate the challenge to his rickety moral ideology and learned all about gray morality. But no, not our Light here. He's still an idiot which means that “remaking the system in his own image” is going to possibly turn the country into what I like to call a “Nickelodeon prison state” complete with moronic childish moral dichotomies and no rights whatsoever. He'll have puppets reading the news. God, it makes his Evil Plan in A Cure for Love look almost sane because at least that accounts for the fact that you can't take the innate stupidity out of human beings. They're always going to be good and bad and ok and so-so. This is going to fail so hard.

HAHA L using the judge's hammer to tenderize steaks. It's details like that man. Love it.

Oh the dream. Hella good dream work. The desire to destroy everything and remake it anew but what does that mean for the bastion of corruption that is L?

“Both of us...Just like in that fucking film of yours. And you exploit my vices, but my soul is virgin.” I LOVE THIS. But it just proves the inevitable, doesn't it? Light has maxed out his growth. He will never give up his “soul” because for him it's always all or nothing. He can't give enough ground to grow immensely because let's face it, L is a vortex. He'd suck the skin off of his bones. They survive in a constant stalemate but the world is pushing on one of them and it's not a permanent state. It can't be.

"I think I had the chance of one once,"...tired. "No, what I have is law and justice, or whatever I make of it. That's all that's truly mine." NOOOOOOOOO. MY HEART.

"But I know what you are. Both of us are half a person, half a life." JSAJDSFKHG

The shuffling of “romantic partners” just tells me that ultimately, despite his love for L, the knowledge that he's found his “one”, the part of Light that needs/wants/loves him desperately will be compartmentalized and frozen for the sake of his beliefs/ego. But! He does understand that he's doing it at least. And that's...(sighs heavily).

SO MANY THINGS. FEELINGS. HARD DRIVE CRASH. I must retreat because of the spoilers. I'll leave it for the end man. When I've been killed off by my feelings for real.

So! We're on to B waking up Light in the creepiest way possible. I have to tell you. This is seriously the most compelling version of B I have ever read. He's so complex and fully rendered I just die. His mannerisms, facial expressions, hell even vocal intonation (I hear him so clearly it's ridiculous and it frightens me. I think I've been possessed guys, call a priest) are so vivid. I would LOVE to cut this shit up and go line by line but ain't nobody got time for that. So I'll try to keep it to a sane length. Ok. Game time yo.

First: the sternum. When he says that he's “clumsy”, it just hits me how fantastic his voice is. He has this malignant playful humor that is magnificent but also desperately sad to me. This is why I read it the way I did. The sternum. I tried to figure out what the fuck happened with the accident. From the way he talks about it, the fact that he says: “for some reason the doctors wanted to save my life.” That L couldn't hold his hands, that they had to inject his bone marrow with something, even the use of “clumsy” when he's always used it to mean something intentional, meant to fool another person into a moment of weakness/blindness: fucking suicide attempt. This just reads like a suicide attempt. And honestly, why wouldn't he? Someone as relentlessly self-aware, even as delusional as he sometimes is, would have that kind of moment of clarity where something like this is done. I just imagine living a life as lonely, isolated, full of self-hatred, as his and trying to hang on to someone as ephemeral and emotionally unstable as L and I feel that blank despair. And if you go by Another Note, it follows that line of thinking. Revenge via self-destruction while also being a sort of euthanasia because who the hell wants to live like that? All the sadness.

I love love his rant on psychiatry/psychology. “soul-healer” versus “study of the soul” is brilliant to me. You live that kind of isolated life where people seem to constantly dismiss you or treat you like a freak and of course you have no intention to help them. Plus, a girl's got to get her kicks somewhere amirite? Way more opportunities for manipulation and cruelty. Psychiatry seems super boring if you're interested in behavior and the mind more than the hard science. You just throw drugs at people.

“The kind you only appreciate over time, when you put the time in. And I've put in a lot of time.”
Jesus christ. He sounds like that meme of the “nice guy” where if a guy treats a girl like a human being, he's entitled to screw her. B, you cray.

“he doesn't see the artistry...they represent brands” This ties into the novel as well. B is portrayed as someone who is very into physicality and how it's morphed for your own purposes. It just clicks that he would be interested in this sort of thing. Also, if your main sport is self-hatred there is nothing better than looking at a ton of physical perfection to really turn it into the world cup of self-loathing.

I'm in love with Light's terror here. It makes me laugh quite a bit. Then again, I'd be scared shitless if some dude was sitting next to be with a knife while I was naked.

B's French section: why must you make it your mission in life to kill me via my emotions? MY EMOTIONS.

This is so sad. The thing is, is this even love? No it isn't and he knows that it isn't. I'm gonna get very inarticulate but basically because this is literally the only type of acceptance he'd probably had as a child, he just assumed naturally that all of his affection/love/relationship dealies would come from this person. But it doesn't. And he knows that this is not love, it's not normal human emotion, it's something terrible like some organ transplant in a parking lot and he's pretty much gives up on himself as being a real human being. But maybe its this: he's sort of banked everything on this love that he thought he felt. That is was something that made him human and real and worthy of a life. But when he learns about the chemistry, about how easy it is to think you're in love with someone, how easily L did it constantly (which probably destroyed B all the time, always, having to watch it) and then came out of it as if nothing had happened, it sort of sucks the meaning out of all of it for him. He really is empty after all because there is no hope.

Everytime B throws perverted remarks at Light, I SHIP THEM DESPERATELY. I can't help it man. Dude wants to screw him totally. But who doesn't want to screw Light behind a beer stall?

OOOH WHAT DID HE DO TO ASTBURY? I hope it was depraved because my mind is working overtime.

B and L sharing an apartment: sadness. When L kisses B, “turn around, turn around.” I got out of my seat and tried to find a rope with which to hang myself. Not really but I was pretty bummed out. Poor fucking kid. Well first:


“I've thought about this a lot...someone like him." THE SADNESS. First off, the whole asexual thing is just tragic to me. It's possible that he might actually be asexual but it doesn't seem that way to me. He's just very self-hating. He hates everything about himself including his body (I constantly wonder what he looks like in your head. In reality, I don;t see him as terribly ugly. He's probably not bad looking but just makes people uncomfortable what with his manic moods and cruel sense of humor) and also sex is highly intimate and gross and just way too much to handle for someone as OCD as he is. Also, I assume it's self-protective in the way that he just assumes that no one would ever want him because he's so revolting to people. The only way he'd be able to have sex while young and awkward would be with L. He jumps at the chance when it's L because it wouldn't be sex with another human being but something akin to worship/transcendence. God, I'm so pretentious. Moving on.

“I'm asexual, remember?'ve convinced yourself that you're not a psycho raving mad stab stab stab." Yes, yes, they all have their illusions and the truth of the matter is that Light is crazy and B, as L says when they're on the bar boat, would tear that shit UP given the opportunity. And I pray everyday that he does because that would be hot.

"Yes, you do...That's why you let him do it." I LOVE YOUR WORDS. I try to get to the bottom of the gorgeous affinity that these two have, it's magnificent. One: self-hatred. It's there and they see it in each other. Obviously, B wears it like poison tipped armor, doesn't hide it, is probably quite attached to it because it allows you bathe the world in seething hatred and malice. And that can be fun, I guess. Light masks it with sexy bravado and is only aware of it at the lows but they recognize that in each other. Two: Light is extremely empathetic and that's attractive. B is isolated and the opportunity to make someone feel was he feels and torture someone just for a moment is too alluring. Three: Light is super hot. Four: I forgot what it was because I'm imagining them having sex and my brain has now ceased to function properly. This is what you get with the resident pervert reviewer: unsanctioned pervving.
thebarstool chapter 20 . 3/9/2013
So I'm vaguely terrified that I'm up this early on a Saturday morning but whatever until the library opens up so that I can get my trunkload of graphic novels, it's review time!

Though it ended centuries ago, it looks like the honeymoon is truly over. I mean this opening scene man. Light you reckless douche. A couple of things crossed my mind: 1. Stephen, seriously I know you're nice and everything but is this all you have to do, be nice to L's morally absent not-friends that he just invites over when he wants to screw their husbands? The answer is more DIY I think. 2. I am definitely sure that Kiyomi is probably the number one monster patient of all time and that every nurse has sexual fantasies about killing her. 3. smoking in a hospital? Jesus christ. Light you are too swag for me. 4. “I have a prepared list of things to say to Stephen if he says one critical thing against me, but he doesn't, so I must scatter my annoyance elsewhere.” Yeahh I do this, but once you queue up that list of' clever/devastating things to say the universe conspires to not let you use them. God, you know people so well man, and write this horror of a person so well, I can't even.

Y U NO INCLUDE TEAM SACKING? I would have loved to see L and Light getting off (psychologically and then eventually later on physically obvi) on sacking this poor slob and the poor slob having no idea that this is an aphrodisiac to these insane fuckers.

I spent a really long time laughing at this: “Instead of asking for a fixed appointment on another day instead so he could...sits back down to ponder his useless existence while I alphabetise my bookshelves and remove dead people from my contacts”

Re: Light's gangster suit: talk suits to me baby, all day everyday. I wish I knew this much about clothes in general.

“I feel angry at Kiyomi for latching onto my life. I feel like I've been forced into marrying her.” Sort of capsulized proof of Light's remaining douchery. How do you resent someone else for a decision you made? But then look at who we're talking about. In some ways, it's like he's ceded responsibility for a lot of the shit he did while his old, (more) emotionally stunted self. Like he doesn't even remember the neural pathway that lead him to that decision. I feel so bad for Kiyomi because she's not some empty-headed shrew or emotionless bitch. She's very clearly struggling here. He constructed the fantasy, she helped and neither of them really expected the collateral of ACTUALLY having to live it for reals. God, that kid of theirs is going to be a biter.

“I think that every second we're apart, I'm missing out on such useless gems, and maybe I'll still...bora bora on TV” OH MAH HEART. They're so lovely I die everytime. It's not that he cherishes everything L says because L is full of shit but he just wants to be around him, just wants to hoard all the moments that he's alive and THAT'S SO ROMANTIC. The cynical bitch in me is scrabbling at the door I locked her behind.

Light's manipulative word choice in the car: L is sort of vaguely aware (probably) that he's being manipulated into ceding the power for this round but he doesn't even care, he's so lovesick. Manically depressed cardigan: HAHA!

It's game time, yo. I loved Stephen in this quite a bit. Nothing really gets past him he's just the type of person who chooses to see the best in people but when that person is Light you might as well just put a bullet in both of your eyes cause that shit ain't gonna happen. Compartmentalization is a girl's best friend and it's so funny that L and Light, the kings of this kind of a life are shocked that Stephen is sort of the same way. You have to be with a career like his. He's very trusting in his personal life when he feels it's earned but that doesn't stop him from being an observer too.

"What have you done?" B says to me. "This is the fucking problem when there's a house full of” HAHA, I love you so much you stupid bastard. And of course, the knife in the chest when Stephen says 'it's obvious that there's no chance in hell that L would screw you B.” Or at least that's the way B hears it, the sad loser.

THEY TALK ABOUT SCENTED CANDLES? I just died right there. That is love. Talking to Light about scented candles. Character building exercise: what is Light's favorite scented candle? I'm thinking 'money' or 'sacked employee begging to be spared.' Diptyque makes those, you know.

This endgame exchange between L and Stephen makes me want to kidnap you and have you write all of my dialogue for me because after spending three hours staring at a blank screen in panic yesterday, it occurred to me that it has now become HARD AS SHIT for me to write it, so pack your bags hon, you're moving to America. The rhythm! The sound, it just seems so effortless, damn it. So basically, L is a conflicted asshole, and Stephen's illusions have sort of evaporated. It's perfectly viable that L is a better person with Stephen around. He's not perfect, he's still mean probably but in a sort of snarky, benign way. L is a multi-faceted thing that reshapes into whatever his environment/audience expects him to be and while there is probably some good in him, maybe, there is no joy for him in being good. He doesn't think he's good. He thinks of himself as this amoral piece of crap by default which is why he has so much fun with Light. There's no reason to try to be anything else than that default dirtbag. Also, obviously there's the exhilaration of pushing the boundaries of how horrible you can be until that other person stops accepting you. But we see that in the latest chapter the most.

“I knew you were...and I feel sorry for you.” This broke my heart man. Stephen has clear vision and these two idiots should be pitied because they are the worst and best thing for each other and that's just asking for the universe to stomp on you. And it will, because they are tragedyTM.

Aftermath: 1. Light you stupid bitch, of course you can re-heat cheeseburgers. You are brilliant because of course this pampered idiot wouldn't know that. 2. L's guilt just proves there's an ok person in there. He knows that he's hurt this good person and that they could have been content but instead he's choosing and will be happy with the impending disaster that is going ruin his life. 3. When Light tells him he knows that he can't be alone, needs surrogate TV noise: I fell off my chair and died. Not really but I love you. 4. Still don't understand why he bought this house if he hates it so much and why he refuses to move. Perhaps: the house represents this sort of melancholy tendency towards wallowing in unpleasant memories (lake! Water! Tropes from shitty childhood!) but at the same time he's not denying any part of himself which is why I like him so much I think. He knows every component of himself and likes them (hates them too obvi but doesn't everyone) and doesn't pretend they aren;t there but that makes for some conflicted bastard. To give up the house and move to the city to be near Light would be ceding too much territory. It would be giving into the fantasy that he loves but can't ever believe for longer than a few hours at a time.

HEY MAN cardigans make up 60% of my deranged nerd wardrobe. Screw you Light. We're divorcing.

I JUST LOVE THEM SO MUCH. Light badgering him for food and holding him the way he's holding him. Dreamy sigh.

B! Deranged twist on the protective friend, i-will-decapitate-you-if-you-hurt-them speech and I love it man. Obviously this is the sort of hilari-disturbing prelude to the lows of fucking lows that is the next chapter but damn, the seeds are planted. “I only like one person...” and the fact that he fraudulently beats himself up. JESUS. Something tells me he's done this before hasn't he? “But he's hurting me, what about me.” OH GOD. Ok man, I can't do this now, I'll leave it for the next chapter's sobbing.

“You're the sort of man you'd fuck behind a beer stall at a festival and pretend that you didn't.” I need you on a leash B so that you can insult my enemies for me.

This whole interrogation is brilliant. No words man. Seriously. DIALOGUE. And everything else too, I just don;t know man. It's so refreshing to see Light turned inside out with a reality check. Even before the next chapter, B and Light have a certain chemistry that's difficult to describe. At first it's like B would make a magnificent kill out of him but the temporary paralysis that Light goes into is an overwhelm of B's manic negative emotions. There's understanding there. An immense amount only thwarted by how much it interferes with Light's agenda. As an overly empathetic person I can only imagine how I would feel when confronted with someone as insane as B. My organs would probably explode. Light is completely thrown. “He's scared of losing you.” Dying, dead. And L looking after him after the insanity, BEAUTIFUL. Ok I did not expect this to be this long. I'm so long winded it;s ridic. I am so sorry. Ffn is going lock my account probably because of all the swearing.

TL;DR summary: you are magnificent.
taae chapter 22 . 3/7/2013
Okay, so I think it’s fairly safe to say you’ve managed to reach a whole new level of amazing writing. Like, I don’t even know where to begin describing my feelings towards this whole thing except that it’s intriguing and wonderful and probably gives me a lot more emotions than a piece of fanfiction should. It’s probably a bit unhealthy at this point but so is a McDonald’s, and everyone loves that apparently so I think I can get away with this.

Everything is wonderful. The plot is brilliant and although I see bits of foreshadowing here and there now when I read over old chapters, you really don’t have any plot holes that I’ve noticed and you just don’t let anything slip. Your attention to detail is superb, not just in terms of the plot but in terms of the characterisation and description of settings.

And on the topic of characterisation, oh my God. I don’t think there’s one character who suffers from being two dimensional, I really don’t. Everyone is just so multi-faceted and human and it’s really brilliant to read. Like with L, he has that really lovely side but then he has that terrible side and then he has that big side in the middle that doesn’t know what the fuck it’s doing and sort of loves Light. And then there’s Light with his mind games and that big gaping chasm of a stunted personality between his two facades and it’s just sort of overwhelming because not many book authors can make such whole and diverse characters so to see it in a fanfiction is a bit too much for me. I need my inhaler.

The dialogue is often both poignant and hilarious at the same time and everything is very bittersweet but it’s just in a really nice way okay. Let’s not even delve into the suspense I’m feeling over this entire Raye Penber thing because I might go mad. As much as I’m praising you now please just note that if you kill off L or Light then all of the above is null and void. It’s not proper to say those kinds of things to an author, I don’t think, but this is very important so here I am.

I haven’t mentioned B! B. What is there even to say. You write him beautifully, let’s go with that. A lot of stories I’ve seen have him as this sort of delusional, unintelligent, exact copycat of L who goes around stuffing himself with jam when he’s not busy foaming at the mouth so it’s nice to see you doing it with a bit more sense. And a lot more intelligence in the actual characterisation, look at all that psychobabble and French and then psychobabble in French. Tres bien.

I think I’m about as excited as Light or L for the birth of the gremlin but at the same time I know that no matter what lies ahead you’ll make it amazing. I am, however, genuinely excited to see how the rest of the party takes to Light’s new controversial bill. And how Light takes to all of this change coming up. He’s losing it by the minute. Remember at the beginning, when he was just sitting around smoking cigarettes with class and feeling smug? L’s helped ruin him but it’s lovely to read about really, so I don’t mind.

I’ll leave it here by saying that you really have confused me because a part of me wants this to end in butterflies and rainbows and Light spending the rest of his life as L’s housemaiden, baking cookies together and reminiscing on the good old days where they could have afforded someone to bake cookies for them if they’d bothered with that at all, but then a part of me wants them to tear each other to shreds. More than they already have, I mean.

Just, ah, thank you for creating such a masterpiece and good luck with writing the rest of it, however long it may be.

- Pickettfence !
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