Reviews for Those Who Stand For Nothing Fall For Anything
thebarstool chapter 16 . 2/11/2013
OK man, you had no idea about this but I am a MASSIVE Smashing Pumpkins fan. Well, was, until they came back a couple years ago to systematically destroy their own legacy. Anyway, my high school self was very pleased with the title of this chapter. Hell, that whole album is dark, obsessive love embodied. Moving on...

The opening paragraph of this is magnificent. Perfect way of describing the difference between them. Light is very aware of others, makes him a kinder/more frightening despot because no one actually knows they're being played. L is a nuclear bomb. Doesn't give a shit just destroys.
Can I just copy and paste those first four paragraphs? The writing...(drools)

Oh Light and Matt. You said something really cool about them before about how Matt totally looks up to Light and desperately wanted to be his friend but settled for being hate-acquaintances. It's so obvious now as I think back on how when they were on the bar-boat-restaurant and Naomi was all offended and Matt was like “shut up, I love this shit, it's a thing me and Light and L have, when he's in the country.” You can't help but miss someone you despised with that sort of relish, Light, deal with it.

“I have two lives. Two circles which connect and overlap. I built those lives, and between them, is myself...He exposes the fragility and he laughs at it. He dares me to use it or lose everything.” Argh, bows down in reverence*

Light showing up early? Unheard of. He's so pissed at himself for wanting it so badly but he also can't completely trick himself completely into believing that he's only doing it to pass the time or that he doesn't need this. L is a douche per usual, choosing the chilly, high-level escort demeanor.

“I think of him strolling a beach in France on a blisteringly hot day, laughing in slow motion when Stephen splashes water on him and B playing 'J'taime Moi Non Plus' on a wind-up radio under a parasol. Fucking bastards.” Hahahaha. Yes.

Man, this is painful. Light obviously recognizes his feelings now and just wants to move on but L is having none of it. L is seething with anger and wants penance stat. But as we find out, nothing is really going to satisfy him. Everything he says in this scene is a dagger, man. In a way, I don't blame him. You spend two years fucked over by “the one” it would be pretty hard not milk it if you're as childish and petty as L is.

L knows exactly how to make Light bleed out: reinforce his feelings of inadequacy. Because a lot of the time Light is all bitchy bravado and that's it. He feels too strongly is way too sensitive to ignore the resentment and hate coming off of L. And in this scene, he is literally walking around overwhelmed by the intensity of it. He hardly says anything at all, he's lost in the negative emotions. And L is the greatest liar ever because he becomes the lie for a moment and in this moment he totally hates Light and is only doing it for Stephen. And the only times we see differently is when L takes pity and feels bad and let's him see the truth. He's that good.

Oh man the sex scene. Shamefully hot, depressing, baffling, awesome. Welcome to the literary sex scene: well-written and emotionally complex. I still have no idea how to write one myself but I can spot one when I see it. L is insane, obviously, but I'm grappling with what might be going through his mind at this point. I get the sadistic pleasure in the emotional torture, the age old fondness/desire, his attempt to get Light to revert out of the emotionally wounded state into the sadistic jerk possibly to ease his own guilt at having provoked him or maybe to solidify the fact that he did provoke him into punishing him. Grrr, L you conflicted bastard. The “god” stuff confuses me though. Really. Obviously Light doesn't quite understand what L means by it but it has a special meaning for L. “I created you” blah blah.
That's power yes, but if it were just about power and nothing else it wouldn't be as important as it clearly is.

I think it's the signifier (jesus christ shoot me in the face for using that word, I'm getting pretentious here, sorry) for meaning of their relationship. These are two people who are leagues beyond everyone else. They aren't used to being challenged by any one or being present in the world in general. So while they've spent their lives maybe yearning, lonely etc. imagine how hard it would shake you up to find that one person that can destroy you? L was shaken up. How does he cope? He “created” Light and therefore has control when he totally doesn't but it's a security thing. It's another one of his conflicted confessions: Light is his God, but L created him. The center of his universe but subject to his control. Annd I just forgot what my point was. Was there a point to the above other than just saying I have no clue what he means by it but I'm stabbing in the dark here. I hope some of that made sense anyway.
Haha, the swans. I can just imagine how many times L has been out there with a broom in the middle of the night. The thought amuses me.

Yay, delayed pillow talk. Just went you forget how cute they are when they aren't fighting, it all comes back.

"Well, you told me that I looked like something out of a Tim Burton film, and that was quite complimentary for you." It's crazy considering the first thing Light thinks about him is “yes, he looks like he's good at his job but overall: a bit of a mess with slicked back hair,' and now he's says 'can't paint your face with words.” Oh the romance.

Spatially, I'm confused by the bathroom scene (not important but curiosity engaged and such). What are they doing that they haven't done before? Do I want to know the answer? Yes, captain.
Love love the scene in L's office. Everyone being terrified of L, Light being all sex object nympho, Dior! Hermes! L being thrown off by Light's sex object nympho, Light fantasizing about murder-suicides. I LOVE THIS STORY.

Ok so the alley scene. Heavy sigh, man. Things rarely make me feel nauseous because let's face it I've been reading fucked up shit since I was thirteen and we all know that I'm insane anyway but I felt extremely terrible for Light in this. L went too damn far this time and of course, why wouldn't he because he feels entitled to hurting Light for hurting him. Very much an eye for an eye. That's how he rolls. It really hit me how messed up these two are and when I read it, I felt very bleak for them. It was like the point of no return/possible proof that this isn't love at all but obsession and malice. It was a definite crossroads.

Now I'm not saying AT ALL, that you shouldn't have written this, that it's too messed up because that's not the case. I think you make it very clear that this is unhealthy, that it was the inevitable trajectory for these two very corrupted, messed up people (because let's face it Light probably did all sorts of sadistic things beyond what we saw that he just magically ignored] They do feel entitled to each other and that brings up all sorts of boundary issues. It was painful but it was well-done sister. And L's final words to him: "Don't lose your empathy, Light. It's all you have." Jesus. That just made me sick. He's enjoying exploiting Light's emotional attachment, pushing all the boundaries. Punishing him, making him feel like he's nothing. Payback basically. At the same time it's like he's saying “do you still love me now even when I'm the worst possible version of myself?” Geez. He's an abusive jerkass but messed up beyond that and they deserve each other. Major lesson, neither of them are innocent victims.

Harrowing chapter, dearest. You know how I love suffering.
thebarstool chapter 15 . 2/11/2013
Oh this chapter opening. Utter sadness. And also, reality check time. I laughed at Light's plan to break into the arms room and shoot Stephen and then get L to help him bury the body and then cried when he just realized that it was over and that he was being ridiculous. This entire scene was sort of heart-wrenching. Light is defeated, his poor face broken and swollen, he has no idea what to do next. His reminiscing of when he had L as his chair of the vengeance department reminds me of that song lyric: “got nobody on my side and that ain't right,” from Roads by Portishead. Mainly I'm just hearing her sad beautiful voice in this scene, like whoa. He's completely lonely even if he has Kiyomi but she's more of a perfunctory associate than a confidante in times of crisis. He's sort of a raw emotional gaping wound and Kiyomi really wouldn't know how to deal or give support to that except in a “stiff upper lip” sort of way.

Also, B gave L one of his knives? Damn, he loves his ass.

“I was a parrot. Everything she said seemed so hilarious in its pointlessness."If it scars," I repeated. Laughing.” Light, let me clasp you to my bosom, you sad bastard.

Of course Light needs to rub in Stephen's immigration rejection. Never change, babe. I also find it odd that L buys a house on a lake that's around nature-y things. Is this part of his, I'm going to change, be a new man. A new man that likes everything he once professed to hate? Or is he just very changeable? Is it Stephen who chose the house and L just wants to make him happy? Or does Light not know him at all? That being said, this is totally my kind of crib.

I just died laughing at Light's inferiority complex with Stephen. Yes he's super hot with his symmetrical face, yeah he has blue eyes, yeah he's really tall and has a huge dick, yeah he went to Yale. Eat your heart out, Lighty. Love it.

And I think FreezeDyedGorgeous talked in truefax when pointing out this paragraph as the most accurate portrayal of Light in the known universe: “I honestly haven't hated someone so much since Hayato Dazai...That was my first introduction to injustice.”

Ok I think it's time for me to play concerned ancient psychotherapist here. Stevelah, do you have an emotionally codependent, alcoholic parent that you grew up taking care of that is now causing you to emulate said toxic relationship with this hotass alcoholic attorney who is most likely desperately in love with a malignant narcissist who may or may not chop you into pieces and hide your dismembered corpse on your new boat? Repeat after me, hon, you are worth it. YOU ARE WORTH IT.

I'm so amused by how much of a dickhole Light is being to Stephen in this chapter. Also troubled by how much of a doormat Stephen is, for a CIA agent. Saddened and amused by L hiding his precious booze with some books. I bet he has one of those hollowed out books with a flask inside.
'This isn't the way it was supposed to go. He was supposed to leap into my lap and tweak my nipples and tell me how grateful he was to me for saving him from a fate worse than death. Then he'd throw out Stephen's stuff and give me my old drawer back.' No telling how long and hard I laughed at this. Of course Light likes nipple play. And shit, he had a drawer, that's huge right there. It only took 2-3 years to get there. Christ.

Oh God, that paragraph where basically everything L has every said to him goes racing through his mind ARGH MY SOUL. You can see him muttering to himself and rocking back and forth in a corner: he loves me he said so he loves me he has to. Beautiful, devastating.

Have I mentioned that Light and Kiyomi are super cute together? Usually in a lot of stories, he's very dismissive of her but he clearly genuinely likes her here and they have a good time being terrible together. I like them. I mean hell, they talk about what she would wear to his funeral and are totally on the same page. Awesome.

Yay, L and Stephen semi-alone together! It's pretty crazy. Here you have two couples that would have been content together, mostly, had Light and L never met. It's interesting how much you get about their dynamic here. L is an irreverent moody jerk and Stephen seems like one of those laid-back guys who takes everything in stride. It could have worked out quite well between them, even if the relationship was unequal in terms of feeling because inequity in feeling is only a problem when the person who feels the most resents the other for not feeling the exact same way. Stephen probably would take what he could get just to be in L's life and could cope with a lot of melodrama separating, the smiley, jokey L we see here and the hot mess that he usually is in general. But nope, L has met Light and unfortunately it is probably extremely hard to give up the one person who understands you (and is also extremely hot) for someone else who might be good for you, but a bit boring. L lives in dualities, mainly. He wants someone who can vacillate from each extreme with him.

Oh Light, my son, he's so traumatized to see L happy with someone else. Dagger through the heart.

AHH prelude to ash sex. The dialogue is so good and searing. L the sadistic douche is having the time of his life torturing Light, per usual. Light is fighting the extreme hurt he feels with everything L says to him. They're both so stupid, so unsure, so messed up.

“I haven't done what he expected and he doesn't know how to take it. When I look at him now, I fight the affection from showing through my eyes. I feel it pouring out like tears for him.” OH GOD, LET ME DIE. All of this is just so heart rending.

So re-ash sex. When I read this, my first thought was: 'But...I kind of wanted to see it.' Immediately, I had myself committed to the nearest psychiatric hospital. I am an enabler. Forward all disgusted emails and death threats my way because I have no regrets. Dude, you did the smart, excellent thing by having it sort of told to us in limited, flashback like a traumatic event because IT'S NUTS AND I LOVE YOU FOR IT. I seriously still can't believe that happened. I'm calling the condo association in your head.

Hahaha, oh the walk of shame (well not really shame for Light he seems extremely proud of himself the depraved loser). I have no idea what Stephen was thinking when he saw L covered in Jeevas' ashes. Does he realize what happened? Did L lie and say he fell in a litter box or something? I don't even know.

AHHH, the scene in Light's office. I completely died at this. L, you magnificent bastard. This plan of his is so brilliant on your part it kills me. He walks in, forces this submission on Light's part, gets his blackmail material and bargaining chip and could very easily walk away with Stephen's papers in his hand. But he still agrees to sleep with Light! WTF. Clearly there is no reason for that, AT ALL. L holds all the cards, there is no need for a secondary exchange. Why does he do this? Because he wants Light still but needs it to be on these very conflicted, complicated terms. L is a creature of denial, of self-deception. If he rationalizes the affair as something he HAS to do in order to keep Stephen in his life, there is still the illusion of change. He wants it both ways. He's still ultimately his bastard self what with the blackmail, the cheating, the attraction to the other big bastard in the room but by disguising this selfish endeavor as a charitable deed to save the “man he loves,” he retains the illusion that he is a better man than Light, who put him in this position. At the same time, he gets to have Light as the dominant (not sexually but yeah you get what I mean) figure, setting the terms. But really he is totally giving in. It just doesn;t look that way at first. And Light, because he's so thrown and unsure where he stands doesn't seem to realize this. Have I told you lately that I love you? Probably but Imma say it again, anyway.
Carla chapter 19 . 2/5/2013
I forgot to mention this before but the was a point when L requites Light stating that being understood would mean being dead. That was just fantastic. God if gave me goosebumps. This time around I just was glad to see an update and it made my some what day a whole lot better.

I was glad both L and B were on speaking terms again. Don't want a depressed L in the story at least not that strongly. B and his sweater ahh I did see that fitting for him. Too bad Light didn't agree but he was all too happy that B interrupted both L and himself. And Light's face with the reference of Call of Duty Black Ops was classic. I would say I wish (like when L states that he didn't know what it was) I didn't know the game either.

Then Light stating his statistics on crime (which I believe is so like him to want to discuss) was interesting even if embellished since he clearly wanted L to comment. Stephen, man I would give him respect for sticking with L (with his behavior) even with their bickering. That is not to say that I want Stephen to be with L and they should patch things up, no I would die inside if that happen but at least he is violent towards L's Chinaware and not at L.

Ok back to B and his interrupting as a guardian which is fitting. I'm sure L trying to convince B that he didn't need him protecting / dictating L's life didn't and won't stop him. B's feeling are pretty clear and motivation to continue. It was very conniving and (exciting for me because I just like it) entertaining for L to commence an argument so that Light and himself can receive some heavy make out session. (Perhaps their lack of intercourse will just explode when Light and L meet once again. And along with Light with loving the expression of jealousy from L (sad that I don't like it reversed because I shouldn't like it period). Rihanna references were both clever and intertwined perfectly. Another laughing moment was the conversation between Kiyomi and Light. Really Kiyomi Light is going to dress you to appear like a parakeets. Lol. I think that is all I have to comment on unless I happen to remember for the next time. I would like to add a big thank you for writing and updating when you can. This chapter was great (oh I remember the steak order preference, oh Light you pain in the rear. Sorry that was random) and will happily await when you update again.
ElizbellaLight chapter 19 . 2/1/2013
That was the worst review I have ever written.
ElizabellaLight chapter 19 . 2/1/2013
oh my god. i love you! how could you even begin to say that i might be disappointed with this! I smiled about the whole way through, it was fantastic! I wish this could go on forever, does there have to be plot? what's plot anyways? What with all this almost-sex, so much sexual tension, my favorite was the last one in his office. For a second, I actually thought you were gonna have em go at it while on the phone with Kiyomi. But really! fantastic. There's not much to speculate on, because of no plot.

However, B! He's so...hah! It's like having Jeevas back, but 1000 times better and more important and more interesting and i love him so much. He was definitely the better insulter this round, which is surprising because Light's usually bang on.

Then Stephen! My goodness, I actually liked him in the way that Light liked him in this chapter. I'm such a little cheerleader for L and Light, it's pathetic. Light would be very happy though, like he deserved it or something. I'm so delusional today. What's wrong with meeee.

Then Kiyomi! She's a kookoo bird! It was almost cute, what she was saying. it was funny. This was all just so lighthearted and fun, and i loved it. So much sexual tension, the poor babies just wanna get it in. and...i'm a bit scared about this Wedy thing. That's the realest thing I have to tell you.

OH! LOVED the cracks at the CIA, I want to be FBI, so that was hilarious.
scythemaxwell chapter 1 . 1/22/2013
hi ive reviewwed before begging for a christmas chapter but i wanted to again just cause your fic is so amazing. You know that feeling when a new ep or new manga chapter of your fav ongoing show comes out, or is due out the next day? Thats me, with this story. I LOVE your style of writing. Can't wait for more xx
Guest chapter 18 . 1/21/2013
GAH. I really, really want the deets on L and B's torrid history. Fucked up obsessive friendships are the best friendships and to know all about it. L's backstory in this is generally flawless - in that it's totally screwy and horrible. I love it.

And oh, Light, you old sap. I want them to live happily ever after, even if they have to murder everyone else to achieve it. (Which I guess is what happened it 'Cure,' huh?)

Anyway, really excited for the next update, whenever it will be! :D
thebarstool chapter 14 . 1/20/2013
Fangirling continuing:
My reaction to the chapter title was this like awful unattractive gaffaw. I hope you're happy with yourself, lady.

Yes! Awkward Christmas party time! Light, what is your problem with navy? Is it really ill-fitting? Oh god, is it polyester? Nah, not even L would go there.

So I totally did not take-in the shout out to knives. I was all like, ooh yay I like knives and Lust, Caution. Neat! And then I hear his beautiful voice in my mind's ear: "Christ. I feel death is near. Did you say cognac or does that mean something else in Japanese?" the un-introduced friend of L asks me, in English. He looks slightly mad and windblown. Part of me wants to shout: 'Stranger danger!' and have him forcibly ejected.” AND I WAS LIKE HOLY SHIT NOWAI OH MYGOD THIS IS THE BEST CHRISTMAS EVER! I scrambled down to find yes! B has come to town like he killed the real santa and wore his skin for a little while! Because stranger danger will always equal B.

I will now quote copiously and yell at you in caps lock:
"You'll see. Stephen, find B. Don't let him play with his hypodermic again. Oh, B! “ I can totally see him stabbing people ahead of him in line for the bathroom with syringe full of tranquilizer. HEADCANON.

"Because I can't leave you alone, you gorgeous deviant," L tells him. What on earth is this?
"I fucking hate people," he informs us all. He then points at Stephen, whose eyes widen at the direct confrontation. "You! Why would you do this to me? We've only just met! You're jealous of me, aren't you? All jealousy has roots in the concept of sexual intimidation and betrayal, so -"At some point while reading this, I will admit, I started crying with happiness.

"Well, I did tell you. Malignant narcissism is a very difficult condition but it's pretty hot. I mean that they're like Scorpios, not that I believe in that shit, but blind egotism is... damn, it's so attractive. It's one of my favourites, actually” Hahaha. Dude Scorpios. I don;t really believe that shit. But I've met one recently and they are ATTRACTIVE. Until you run into the batshit part of them. Then it just gets scary and weird.

Spin in teacups at Disneyland Paris as therapy? I started singing “Have I told you lately that I love you.”

THE BANTER. IT'S SO MAGNIFICENT. And Light is so terrified that I just laughed and laughed. And this:”B's back arches with L behind him, like a cat being ineffectually fucked, and I'm very frightened, I admit. That cannot and will not show.” HAHAHAHA OH MY ORGANS

And L of course is having a field day with all the attention he's getting. It struck me as vaguely performative, his prancing around. He definitely was enjoying watching Light suffer. AND YES, REUNITED LOVE ACROSS THE AGES. BACK OFF STEPHEN.

And then came this part: “I am horrified by this, even more so when B lets out a high-pitched noise..I think it must be some kind of post-traumatic stress.” I STILL DON'T KNOW WHAT THIS IS BUT I LOVE IT. 1. HE HAS A MAN PURSE? 2. WTF 3. HOLY CHRIST I NEED TO RENT A CONDO IN YOUR HEAD.
Of course, B knows what L is doing and is mildly disapproving.

And everything B says I want to keep in a scrapbook.

Such an awesome insight into their relationship too, basically the only friendship L has that is genuine. B is obviously in love with L and while he can't have him romantically, will settle for the role of caretaker, which is fine for him because he sees it as more eternal and less ephemeral like all of L's clusterfuck relationships. B is definitely the one who is in power here. On some level he has L's best interests at heart, wants him to be happy and healthy. But then L's his only real friend too. He gets a kick out of taking L apart, constantly and cataloging the pieces. Everyone gets the intact, streamlined facade, lawyer L who will mess you up in a minute. B sees the fractured thing behind that and that's his. He owns it, so he thinks.

Sometimes I think that I might as well lock myself in a room, wear the same clothes day after day and hire some old man to feed me tea and cake.” HA!

THE BACKSTORY. Just brilliance. All of it. I keep thinking, would a relationship have worked out between them? Probably not. Probably would end in a murder suicide.

Friend/therapist relationships are always a bad idea. Outsource one, I always say. B and L are magnificent but crazy. Just know that I would have highlighted and pasted in their entire exchange if that were not insane and unnecessary.

The conversation on the alcove: sigh, they kill me, these two. Light you are growing up and you make me sad and happy at the same time. I have seriously never liked an incarnation of Light as much as I like this one. He's crazy but still human. Kudos. And L, you are a conflicted bastard. Buck up mate. And this sums it all up really: "I nod to B who's wearing his inquisition face, but there's a distance between him and L that he can't breach because I'm in the way, and I think he knows that now." Fantastic chapter.
thebarstool chapter 13 . 1/20/2013
Continuing obsessive reviewing binge:

Light actually trying to do something good? Pretty shocking. I'm glad it doesn't interfere with his douche-tastic similies: “It's easier to conveniently forget about our promises. We're like someone who married a girl just to get into her house, only to throw her out and move her best friend in and she can't do anything because of a cleverly worded prenup.”

Oh god, when he describes the moment he knew that he was totally head of heels: Romantic self had a seizure of happiness. Lovely scene. And the fact that he goes on to buy a fucking television system as a diversion tactic, perfect. Light, you so crazay.

L tears Light a new one: I'm a closet idealist so I have actual idea if Light's plan is stupidly impossible or not. It sounds crazy but I also know that L is probably butt hurt that he wasn't consulted. Also, yeah it's probably crazy. But L you're also a cynical bitch.

"Why won't you leave me alone?" Awww, that broke my heart. They should have probably stayed away from each other, yes, but bring on the lovely misery.

The illusory, borderline psychotic sex scene: also broke my heart. He's so done for, he is. That he finally knows (even if it's just his imagination) the sort of soul-killing one-sided sexual encounter is sad. Or at least, the pain of apparently unrequited love. “I think of all the times when he'd smile at me before one of us turned around, and I started to like it so much that I wanted to face him always. I wanted to see every nuance on his face like he said he wanted to see mine.” Dying. Dead.

I always wonder about the time line of their relationship. It's so messed up how they held each other at arms length constantly. They both probably knew somewhere deep inside how badly they were going fall for each other and tried to postpone it as much as possible. Or really they be crazy, yo.

“Lit up and laughing at something Stephen's said, or maybe laughing at me, plunged in and out of darkness and light. But I stare at him, even when I can't see him. And then he's kissing him like he means it. I don't understand.” Lovely-sad. As always.

“I realise that I've never felt lonely in my life. I didn't know what it was...In me is a core of shaking anger and sadness...The only other thing I feel is anger. I will never be ignored.” The writing in this chapter is top-notch. I mean it's always good, but you really rose to the occasion in describing this type of obsessive love in someone unused to feeling much of anything. He's always had a great capacity for feeling and has kept it at bay for a very long time because he's never allowed anyone to be worthy of it. Now he's been pried open and made vulnerable and he can't really understand or withstand much of it in a coherent way, just yet. And you capture that so well. I'm in awe.

“And... I hate myself. All I wanted was to be angry but reasonable, but instead my tone becomes increasingly pathetic with every word until it's just pure hurt and sweater disappointment.” Hahaha, sweater disappointment.

Good lord, L's having dinner with his mother? How did he agree to this? How was it going? Badly probably, he agreed to go with Light. And actually yes, because of the whole “geyser erupting” thing. A ticking time bomb of resentment and family drama. Stephen's accusation: “You changed as soon as you opened the door.” I have a hard time deciding, as you can probably tell, how L really feels. Stephen is all, make amends and be a better man but Light knew the old L and loves him for the shit he is. With Stephen, it's probably aspirational, he can maybe the better person he might have been capable of being had he not fallen into the dysfunctional-family-self-pity-vengeful-dick trap. But that probably comes with a whole display case of inferiority complexes and self-doubt and guilt. Deep down he believes, once a dick always a dick. Meanwhile, Light knows the darkness in him but loves him for it and that's pretty weird too. His terrible childish behavior is excused and he never evolves. Tricky.


Oh noes, Shag Pad Mark II. Light, you are so clueless. The mania, L's utter confusion and disbelief, the cheese! High tension stuff.

“"You can't switch things on and off like it didn't mean anything! You can't change, L. You're just like me."
"You're what I use to be. But I can change even if you can't." Ouch, the crux of it. L, I think, is capable of changing somewhat. The problem is that it's almost too drastic to go from a right bastard to a good guy in like a few months. A middle ground would be good but Light and Stephen are opposite poles at this point.

“I'd love to do it. Since I met him, part of me has wanted nothing more than to kill him. I'd love to watch his eyes glaze over and be open forever, staring at me wherever I go. Maybe keep him in a glass case. Send him off to Damien Hirst to plop him in some formaldehyde. He laughs at me, and I place my hand just under his jaw. I could snap his neck suddenly to one side and it would all be over. It's funny to simultaneously love and despise the one person with the same magnitude of feeling.” YES. AMAZING. And L's answer, dead on.

Savage beating time: Sad. Just frakking sad. That he lets him do it because on some level he feels he deserves it. Just man. And he's honest about he feels again and then totally ruins it by opening his fat mouth about Stephen so that L once again thinks that it's all about the competition and possession rather than genuine feeling.

This conversation killed me dead. Light is so desperate and bewildered and sad. I could quote the whole thing back to you but I won't. Yes, this is definitely rock bottom for Light and was necessary for some sort of growth. Or degeneration into a crazy loon. Either one. Painful but excellent execution. Well done you.
thebarstool chapter 12 . 1/20/2013
First of much unintelligent spam. Ok here goes. Let me start by saying that I still see Near as Colonel Sanders and therefore cannot take him seriously as a character. Not like I ever did to begin with. Don't give him any real role in the story because I'm just going to laugh.

Oh I wish I could be as snarky as L with a cold. Mostly I'm just melodramatic and act as if I should be hooked up to a respirator. Just this whole conversation is brilliant.

“It's a cruel blow not to be blessed with such an intuitive ability which would be so useful to me...This metrosexualism has made life so complicated for me.” HAHAHA.

And yes John Travolta. He's probably just a ken doll down there at this point.

Oh Light and Kiyomi. This line just says it all really: "But she's fixing it," I clarify for the good of my own peace of mind.” Whoever described them as incestuous twins was dead on.

“I'm exactly as I was when I was twenty one. I do not change, but he comes back different. I'm almost sad that he's not the same half-dead, bright-eyed, smiling thing that left me standing on the pavement months ago. Part of me has been standing there ever since.” Oh Light you stupid bastard. It's easy to be smug in hindsight, but when I first read this I was screaming at the screen like I do at all fictional people that are lacking in any sort of self-awareness.

And this: “I didn't realise that I was smiling. I hate it when someone points out that my face isn't doing its job. My face is my fort. I rely on it to never show what I'm thinking.” Brilliance. He's just the most entertaining narrator ever. I love him dearly.

Just the dialogue, you've got the chops, kid. Light attempting to interrogate Lawyer!L and L being totally over this shit. It's quite interesting all the little hints you drop about how this happy fairy tale life with Stephen is sort of a farce on L's part in that he appreciates Stephen, likes him, but is sort of unhappy anyway because he's screwed up. Light of course, underneath is desperately afraid that L is really totally over him and sort of floats around in denial just so that he can cope with it. He can't believe it. And of course, L is as good an actor as Light is, mostly. Or at least, he's a total liar and the best liars create the lie and sell it because on some level they create a compartment inside themselves that believes it. And Light keeps chipping away at L's bubble of self-control until the undercurrent of vengeance comes out. L is really angry and vengeful and wouldn't be able to forget Light's betrayal as much as the “new” him would want him to. He'd play the part of forgiving and understanding ex as much as it is necessary for his punishment plot. I mean he does understand that Light is an idiot, but he holds grudges too. And he's a wounded little child who can only deal with grievances by smashing and wailing. So as much as he probably tries to change, he'll probably still be motivated by the hurt, or whatever.

Major ha at the dig at In Search of Lost Time. I can't even read it in English. I worry for the country with Stephen as a CIA agent. He's way too trusting to be one. Why hasn't he been killed yet? And MAJOR HA at Light only buying books because they go with his décor because YES.

I feel sort of bad for Stephen, in a way. It seems like such a one-sided relationship. Stephen, you're worth it too, hon. Then again, we never actually see them alone together so who knows.

Ahhh, L's treatise on how HE'S worth it: best damn thing ever. You know how I feel about the chronic L-is-hideous-and-creepy syndrome in this fandom. I feel like this needed to be sent out into the world.

And the end of that conversation in the conference room: be still my heart! Moments of honesty between them make me happy-sad.

Dude that scene in the elevator: majorly hot. Excellent tension, banter, Light being a total crazy nympho, just everything that makes the world go round. Loved it.
ElizabellaLight chapter 18 . 1/20/2013
Awwww. All the fluff, yet at the same time horrifying foreshadowing. I love it! I have to separate this into two separate statements, and I don't know how you so successfully put ALL this into the same chapter without making it seem like an overload. You're amazing.

So, first, I'll go with the fluff, because I loved it and it made me want to hug something. The amount of love pouring out of this chapter is like...what's been hiding behind the curtain for both of them, but that they just haven't admitted. Or at least, admitted in a completely non crazy way. It kinda just...this chapter gives you the perspective that we didn't have before, when trying to kinda work out what was happening in their head when they would do something. Granted, some of it B gives i don't KNOW that it's true, but I trust it. He seems to be the bearer of bad news in an awful way...and i'm mixing my paragraphs! Fluff! Yes, I can't even believe that they're being so honest with each other, and talking about moving in together, and I just want them to be happy the way that they want to be happy.

And the sex! Oh my goodness, that was really very...graphic for you. Not in a bad way, because it kinda went amazingly well with the pace of the story. It's crazy that they were so lost in themselves, they're completely losing sense of reality in a lot of ways. And this ongoing exhibitionism thing is really very interesting. But like B pointed out, dunno if it's important, but it's always in a "we can see you, but they can't see us" and how Light and L are always getting off on being blatant and remaining under the radar. I dunno, seemed like a reoccurring thing.

Now, the bad shtuff. First off...Wedy, hmm...uh...I didn't even know that was still a thing! Stephen gives me a terrible feeling, and I almost feel like crazy Light may be right about it. But I can be really paranoid, so there's that too. It's just...I dunno, it always seemed weird to me that he seemed so oblivious and whatever, but he was in the CIA...soo...and he DOES have a temper. I was a bit confused as to why L ran into the car, but...well...that's okay. All the jealousy! It's coming in from all over the place, but that's delicious, it makes things more real. So..yeah. bad feeling bout Stephen.

And then there was B. Oh my goodness, you just write him so wonderfully. I have the biggest throbbing heart for him. And his eyes, goodness his eyes. I'm surprised that Light didn't comment more on them...but do they even have a significance in this story? I dunno, you have so many cards right now. I'm babbling so much. But the way he just tore one right through L, saying everything that THEY themselves have been saying to each other, but not really admitting. The whole death thing, and God thing, it's like...because B sees it to, and is just turning into an ugly thing rather than whatever weird fetish thing they were using it for before...I dunno, B's amazing, and he brings those two closer. I think, I dunno...i DON'T KNOW!

Okay, I think I'm gone now. Oh! One, no, two last things. In a few chapters ago, in the bathroom at L's, were those two practicing tantric sex?
And then also, I'm really intrigued by this hair cut on L, if you give me a description of him in this universe, I would LOVE to try and dish out some fanart.

Kay, tootleoo, have fun on your holiday!
Carla chapter 18 . 1/19/2013
I dont know much about tumbler but since i enjoy reading you notes I'll try to rember to check it out. I can't believe i fell for the there might be something wrong with the pregnancy. I also can't believe that I didn't see the sex in the alley was taped (I mean I do remember light saying no but goodness I'm slow)
I'm going to guess that the baby's sex will be male. (It can follow it Light's foot steps working in politics) No worries Light i'm sure your child will be smart. But I just loved hearing about the history of thigh sex with homosexuals in Greece and Light's past since it's rare. L's foot just couldn't help itself. Lol. The lovely moment between Light and L that gets knocked down by B. DAMN was that intense to hear (read) all about B's analysis of L and his plans. ( I do so hope that L is not trying to find a way to get himself killed and it is a ridiculous lie).
Eventhough a majority of what B discussed was right I felt it was both over the top and needed at the same time. Of course not in the same method it was done by B but yes it was needed.
At times I wanted Light to jump into verbal attack and save L instead of being frozen in shock and helplessness. I mean Light still unfortunately isn't fluent in English to have been able to comprehend what was being said the whole time. I was glad (hopefully Light really means it sincerely) to hear Light state he would not harm or kill him. It's got wondering just how long they can keep up their relationship with all that is going to happen. (Baby on the way and Light's stance with the murderer case / his term as Prime Minister)
I was confused about the whole "It's not forever" section unless I missed it. (I'll reread this chapter just to to make sure I didn't) Light thank goodness help to comfort L at the end of the ordeal. I'm hoping B won't hold it against L to never speak to him again. It is obvious that it is affecting L negatively he wants his best friend back. I'd like to thank you a million times for updating especially with the fact I start school in a couple of days. Take a well deserved hoilday may it be enjoyable instead of tedious.
youremyqueen chapter 17 . 1/18/2013
I just realized that I never reviewed this chapter (probably because I read it on my ipad and thus didn't copy down quotes and thus had nothing to say besides YOU ARE THE BEST AND ALSO MY FAVE.)


cue flailing off to the next chapter.
wordbombs chapter 8 . 1/17/2013
Ohhhh you and your words! Now I want to go buy some Tom Ford lipstick and smoke a Marlboro. Thanks for dissing them earlier, by the way. I stand by them as the best cigs in the cheap section of the shop. Light is a psychopath, and I can't wait for this to unravel. Undercurrents of plot aplenty. Such a slow build here, I'm excited.
wordbombs chapter 7 . 1/17/2013
I don't have words for this chapter. I'm glad I'm reading this in delay, I can't handle a cliff hanger. The prose in the last section was magic. Sticky, warm magic. You called Mihael Mello at one point, but who cares! Light and L and doing it and I really loved that sex scene. It was incredibly fluid prose. Okay. I have to go read more.
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