Reviews for Those Who Stand For Nothing Fall For Anything
ElizabellaLight chapter 11 . 12/9/2012
okay, really quick before i actually read this and actually review. I DREAMT that you updated. In my dream, you updated! And then I woke up, and kabam! okay, now i'm going to go read it.
youremyqueen chapter 10 . 12/3/2012
"Hello! You look very dashing in a political way."

TBH that is how I want to greet everyone forever and ever now. I love L's ridiculous drunkenness and also his ridiculous past. This has got to be one of my favorite AU characterizations ever, because he's just so much fun.

"You've never heard it and you have no soul, so be quiet."

Hah! I think that should be the implicit argument against everything Light says ever. "You have no soul and are therefore wrong." It's sad/hilarious how true it is.

"His trousers smell of rain, old whiskey and me."

THAT IS THE MOST ROMANTIC SENTENCE I HAVE EVER READ. HOLD ME.

Jesus fuck, that was some good swearing.

Like, I love the scenes when it's just the two of them being hot messes, but fuck, do I love ensemble scenes, too. Everybody is so awesome and JEEEEEEEVAS. Jeevas is, like, the physical representation of my soul. That sounds terrible but it's true.

OH GOD NO L COME BACK

God.

I tend to word-vomit onto you often and without much sense, so just in case it's not actually clear: I seriously think you are a terribly good writer. You have a talent for dialogue that I find kind of overwhelming, and your humor is so consistently excellent, I'm really amazed. I wish you would write all the fic ever, because I can't think of a single thing you couldn't make enjoyable.

Just, guh! You are very awesome.
youremyqueen chapter 9 . 12/1/2012
WHOA FF TOTALLY STOPPED GIVING ME NOTIFICATION UPDATES FOR THIS FIC. THAT'S COOL I GUESS. jk, it's not cool at all, and I am going to read the two latest chapters with righteous indignation to fuel me.

I know this is so not a review at all, but just know that I love everything I am about to read in advance. That's how good I know it will be. IN ADVANCE.
XioXiria chapter 10 . 11/26/2012
Wow... L's gone. I can't say I wasn't expecting it but still... I just hope it will beat some sense into Light.
Very very good chapter. (*_*)
ElizabellaLight chapter 10 . 11/25/2012
I'm going to cry, okay? I don't know how or why this happened, and I don't want to love you anymore. I just want to cry by myself in my dark room. and I want to force you to write more and to make them get back together and be happy and gay and all that wonderful stuff, because, by god, i cannot deal. You pull at my heart strings like no other, and I don't know how you do it. I was thinking about rereading everything, but I'm really too sad to now. I just...eff me to freaking london and back, I can't even think straight right now. I need to go to the humor section of this site just to make myself come off the ledge. Phew, wow, uh...brilliant writing, as always. The fight/insulting scene was hilarious...reminded me a bit of anchorman with that hair bit. and the beginning, where L was yelling, and being mean, i mean...that, I can handle. and I loved it, it was just perfect and Light deserves this entire chapter. He really does. And that story about David, he deserves that too. but this? i mean...ah...cardiac arrest, please write more. please make my bleeding heart better. i'm not a beggar, but shite man, i'm going to cry.
thebarstool chapter 9 . 11/24/2012
So I'm doing this one my phone which will explain the auto correct errors and deletions. Yes, I did read this before work because let's face it I'm not one to delay my gratification/vicarious misery.

Have to say, Light came off as extraordinarily sympathetic in his interaction with Naomi. In this whole chapter, really. You see a glimpse of the natural empathy and the cynical safeguards that come in to protect him from the impotence of sympathizing with an inevitable head-on collision of bad decisions. Naomi baffles me but then people in her situation rarely do things that make sense to outsiders. She's mired in grief and can't really be expected to take a clear stock of her life or choices, I guess. But lord, from Pember to Jeevas. Ridic. I love you Matt, but you ain't the marrying kind. I'm extremely curious as to whether Light's "sad face" at his funeral was a facade or not. It seems like the whole Pember deal was the last show for his idealism if he could still muster enough emotion for it to show on his face like that. Unless Naomi is misinterpreting him as usual, which is always possible.

Hahaha, Matt driving his car into a bus shelter and then L having to bail him out. I would kill to see that scene, as they're fantastically caustic together.

"You were always so kind to me. Why were you kind to me?" I say this time and time again, you are a master at orchestrating emotional scenes so that they are devastating in a genuine understated way. This chapter really proves it all around because it was one of these after another without any of it seeming heavy handed.

Oh Light's post-victory depression. It was inevitable, wasn't it? If that dude isn't scheming or grifting his way up a mountain, he defaults back to that flat landscape of disconnection. I mean he's usually always disconnected, but right now it seems like he's struggling with remaining at least marginally attentive to the real world. He's lost the black-white dynamic of fighting (although it wasn't really much of a fight) for a goal and now has to deal with the ocean of gray-scale moral complexity that he literally has no hope of ever solving if he can't put aside his disgust. Actually, he has no hope of fixing anything because he's a child and stuck in some delayed stage of emotional development.

"Then L walks towards me, cursive and fluid in a roomful of numbers. We look at each other like we're strangers as he walks past me and through a door. I follow him, and I keep following him, because I know that l'll always be a shadow in his footsteps now, always...Stupidly, not just in this moment, but that I imagined him entirely, like I'm a man who fell in love with a portrait of someone who's dead."

I read this aloud three times and THERE ARE NO WORDS WOMAN. I was going to stop by a trophy place and buy you one solely for the feat of shortening my life a few years with that writing. That is some major emotional punching right there. Gorgeousness and gorgeousity made flesh, darling. Don't bring the self-deprecation right now, either. I talk in true fax. That last line, so perfect in describing the transient nature of their connection, one circuit closing as the other opens. So badly timed, so true to the way these things work out. L is dead just as Light is alive for a brief moment just as L was alive for that brief moment while Light was still dead. Stupid way of putting it but I'm still sort of drunk from last night.

"No. It's the lancing of a cyst but he makes it sound like the equivalent of Mary I of England's reign along with the Kurtz/bull slaughter scene from Apocalypse Now"

HAHAHAHAHA love. it. Although, as someone who had a cyst and ended up with a hideous scar on her shoulder courtesy of a butcher with a plastic surgery license, I can relate. Please bring him in. Although the second hand snark is already gut-bustingly hilarious, we'd probably all die of sepsis if we got B face to face.

"You're a disgusting thing. I feel empty when you're not with me."
"Oh. Be still, my beating heart! You make yourself sound like a car that's run out of petrol. Fucking hell,"

I just wish I could carry them around in my pocket.

Just that scene in the closet. They are fated to never be on the same page ever. We also get a clear insight into just how L could destroy Light. L goes into those self-protection modes and of course underneath the man-made moats and turrets and other medieval metaphors, Light is gaping wound of natural emotion. He's pretty sensitive and easily hurt. L would cut him into pieces and leave him to die, in his estimation because L has his own massive issues and would never tolerate being loved consistently and deeply. I wonder, though, maybe they did have those moments where they connected at the same time, but Light glosses over them. It might be possible, we don't know.

The description of Light's car wreck fantasy? Brilliance. Lovely. Died a thousand deaths. Because we do have those little forays into worst case scenario when someone we care about doesn't respond to texts or phone calls. But it was so romantic and dreamy in a way that it seems like Light would have preferred it to the alternative which is 'I don't give enough of a shit to get back to you right now.' Also, it would allow for some compartmentalization on his part. This was the man I loved. He is now dead. He is in a box in my head and I can now live my life as a safe emotional zombie because the one thing that made me feel is gone. Yadda.

Now we get to where I died a billion and one deaths. You told me about this. I knew about it. I still wasn't prepared for how miserable and disgusted this section made me feel. Bravo, no easy feat, as I am cynicism headquarters.

I don't even know where to start really, just that what you said about everything coming at once and how it is clear that L is at the end of his rope. He's had to deal with a lot of crap, created his own defenses that allowed him to survive most of it and thrive. So then to have three of his major vulnerability point coincide within the same period of time 1. agonizing relationship with Light 2. death of terrible father who he still loves because yeah and 3. his rapist decides it's the perfect time to be within a five mile radius. No wonder he's a human alcohol distillery. I wonder, did L know beforehand he was in the country? DID THIS ASSHOLE CONTACT HIM AND 'FORGET' ABOUT IT? Did L see him as he was coming into the bar? Anyway, at the end of his rope, yes.

The conversation, unbelievably heart-wrenching, revolting. Your descriptions of Lord Ashbury made me nauseous. Of him peeling and drying out. UGH. But especially of his 'message' to L at 17. So. f-d up.
I had sort of allowed myself, when you told me a bit of his backstory, to think of L getting his revenge as swiftly and cruelly as possible. But the fact that it was unresolved for so long (as this things often go), that he only just gets his closure, when it's probably too late and when all he can really manage to feel is pity and emptiness, just kills me. I can't wrap my head around all of it really. Oh god, and that his father just a) blames him and b) sweeps it under the rug probably to avoid curtailing valuable posh connections for the sake of his own ambition is devastating.

"Very. You know why you don't remember? Because I turned up. You always made me sick, but I turned up. What do you think that says about us both? I'll tell you. You were a dirty bastard, and I was going to kill you." *SAD WOOKIE CRY* Just sad wookie cry to all of it. ESPECIALLY, L's final line to that scum sucker. What was it, a 'I'm still alive you husk and you won't be for much longer?' Oh god, its putting L's father in the middle again. Pedo Lord goes for L as some sort of emblem for a possible obsession/competition/f-u to L's father (in addition to sick tendencies) and L goes back to regain control after his father denies him any sort of acknowledgment or resolution. But I don't know. I really can't process it clearly. I'm just sad, yo.

This chapter is capital D Devastating. I seriously wonder how this is going to alter L and Light's dynamic. It's not a mere coincidence that L corrals the two people that are most present in his life (aside from B) into this, Mihael and Light. He needed to have witnesses. This is an extremely tenuous situation and I feel like Light is totally going to step in it.

Epic chapter m'dear. It was a copier to the face.
plannedbyReaperLight chapter 9 . 11/20/2012
Dude, Light—you're Prime minister now. You don't have to throw your life away! Even if you're there for just one term you can still make history-it's boring for you anyway.

You know what would be funny? If BOTH Light and Kiyomi were faking their relationship and getting married to each other for political gain and like if Kiyomi was actually in love with Mikami or something because Kiyomi is ambitious but she can't get into a position of power on her own because all the old men's club see is a pretty face and if she married Mikami that would've ended her career because Mikami is toast, politically speaking. Light could keep Kiyomi around as a member of his cabinet or something and they could use that wedding they were planning to have Kiyomi could marry Mikami, and Light passes it all off his helping to pay for the wedding as charity and helping out his dear, dear friends and just the media made assumptions about the nature of their relationship. And then Light could subtly introduce L...
/End rant (Sorry, the keyboard got away from me.)

Anyway, I love it! Great chapter as always!
Fluoxetine chapter 9 . 11/20/2012
Dude, that was awesome.
XioXiria chapter 9 . 11/20/2012
I don't have enough words to tell you how much I love your stories -
I really like how you write L's personnality in this one. He's pretty funny and makes me laught a lot. And Light is just so... Light XD
I know it's not nice but i have to say it : I hate Kiyumi (don't get me wrong, you write her character pretty well, i just don't like people who stand between Light and L :P )
Still, i love this story, keep up the very good work :)
Elizabellalight chapter 9 . 11/20/2012
Oh my. Can we exchange emails? Caber be friends? Why are you so amazing, why? I can't wrap my head around how much I wanted L to keep talking. I love alcoholic L, it's practically a fetish that I want his brilliant mind to be ebbed and freeflowing out of his mouth because of alcohol or whatever drug he doesn't do. And I love how completely sad Light is. You really put him in his place whilst simultaneously making him the god in his own world as he really should be. I can't tell which is worse, and who depends on who, they're playing such a terrible game that I have to love them for it. You should have heard the way I talked to my customers this morning, I was delirius because this story made my mind go in all kinds of delightful circles. Luckily they don't mind a bit of sass now and again. I think I will tetras that. I love this story. I love politian Light and lawyer L. I love this world. I love drunken ramblings. I love you.
youremyqueen chapter 8 . 11/7/2012
THAT WAS QUICK. :D

"For the first time in my life, I want to be someone else. I want to be him."

This is so fucking telling it hurts. This is, like, basically the highest compliment Light could ever pay someone.

"You're frightened of me,"

This is also hurts. It's raw. I think everybody should write love the way you write love, because it's understated and not a production of itself, but then you get brutally fucking honest, heart-swallowing things like this line. "You're frightened of me," says more about loving someone than any amount of "I love you"'s and it's just. so. good. HAVE I MENTIONED LATELY THAT I LOVE YOU, BTW?

also, BBBBBBBB! *swoon* L asked for a psychological analysis and then they fucked, yes? IDEC if it was over the phone. PHONE SEX! L/B is my super-sekrit not-actually-OTP OTP and it makes me happy in the weirdest, creepiest perve way, because I am a weird and creepy perve.

I love horrible Kiyomi. She's horrible in the way that Light is horrible, which is a way that makes me giggle hysterically.

A stapler to the face sounds bad? Can't we just continue with half-assed love confessions and B and wonderful Mihael's wonderful presence? (I am choosing to believe that the one moment he was there was just for me, jsyk)

Anyway, CAN'T WAIT FOR SUNDAY. :3
Fluoxetine chapter 8 . 11/4/2012
Words can't describe how much I love your writing.
plannedbyReaperLight chapter 8 . 11/4/2012
Wow, another great chapter. I love the humor. Poor guys-it's such a shame it isn't politically viable for Light to marry L instead of Kiyomi...
youremyqueen chapter 7 . 11/3/2012
MIHAELLLLLLL. And he's in leather! And Light seduces him with LPs! You are so good to me.

And Jeevas/Mihael the mischievous smiles, the bro fists? I AM DYING OF EXCELLENCE.

"That ring is the gayest thing I have ever seen, and I've been to a Mardi Gras in San Francisco when Danny La Rue was in town. You might as well hang a sign on her with 'beard' written on it in rainbow colours."
I really can't get over how brilliantly inventive and engaging all your writing is. Everything out of L's mouth is fucking golden. And Light is such a horrible fucking cunt and I love him dearly. Like, I don't think I can stand him when everyone is putting up with his bullshit, but as soon as I have a mascot to call him out, I'm all OKAY BE RIDICULOUS AND HORRIBLE AND AWESOME. It's tremendous fun. I do hope he fails miserably, of course, and gets his in the end, but I also hope he and L get to live happily ever after, sniping at each other over breakfast and fucking in public and such. There's a quaint, terrible loveliness to them.

AND THEN THERE'S SEX. HUZZAH! The end is kind of a punch in the gut, wow.

I know I profess my love for you with more or less every update, so it's probably lost its shine by now, but by-god, this is such an excellent fic and your writing ability fills me with unknowable joy. SO, THERE'S THAT.

I'll be over here, waiting for the next glorious chapter.
Rin5o chapter 7 . 11/1/2012
You made my day again! I'm listening to Sixteen Saltines by Jack White right now, seems fitting))
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