|Reviews for Another Dream|
| yuki22hime chapter 6 . 4/13
next chappie please.
| Animes84 chapter 6 . 3/7
great idea of history have you forsaken me or have you finished but not posted stp
thank you for reading this
| KoreanMusicFan chapter 6 . 8/27/2014
this is interesting, will she play tennis?
| Oishi Takoyaki chapter 6 . 4/27/2014
MOAR MOAR MOAR MOAR-YOU CANT STOP WHEN THE ROMANCE HASNT STARTED
| Oishi Takoyaki chapter 1 . 4/27/2014
Well, this is awfully similar to some other pot fanfics I have read.
| Guest chapter 6 . 1/15/2014
It's kinda funny that Kirihara and ryoma are nice to each other. I like how he is taking care of her
| Millenium Snow chapter 6 . 7/20/2013
Ahh a script for a class project :D Is it going to be like a mini-play or something? Can't wait for the next chapter, so please update soon
| KuroYuki 34 chapter 6 . 6/10/2013
| KuroYuki 34 chapter 3 . 6/10/2013
you intro is a little to long in my opinion. i think you should shorten it a bit and write more of the story.
| KuroYuki 34 chapter 2 . 6/10/2013
chapters are so short. can you make them longer?
| CarolineGreen chapter 3 . 5/25/2013
Your story is very interesting and has a lot of potential BUT...(there is always a but... and here comes the constructive criticism...)
-I recommend that you start a new line when a different person speaks so it flows better and it's less confusing because I do find myself confused at who is talking.
-Also, proof-reading because I do find grammatical mistakes here and there that could have been easily fixed if you proof-read it. But if you do proof-read it then maybe do it a bit more carefully.
-Your tenses are slightly off at times as you use the present tense instead of the past and vice-versa. For example, near the end of this chapter, when the principal was speaking, you put 'add the principal' when it should have been 'added the principal'. Also, you put 'said Ryoma, a little bowing' after Ryoma spoke which makes no sense but I assume you mean something like, 'said Ryoma as she bowed'.
In summary, proof-read to check if your sentence makes sense and for your tenses. (But don't worry, you're not the only one when it comes to tenses because I do that as well as I am bilingual (Chinese and English) and Chinese only has one character that changes the whole tense practically which is why my tenses in English can be a bit off.)
-Tidy up the presentation a bit...? I don't know how to explain this so sorry if this is slightly confusing but I think that you should make the difference clear between your A/N and your story by putting a line or something to separate it. This would make your presentation nicer and less confusing as a reader. It might help if you think like the reader because the author does know the story best whereas the reader is completely new to it.
I hope I haven't offended you in any way because like I said, the plot itself is very interesting but it's just that I found myself very confused and finding quite a few mistakes. If you just tidied it up then it would be a GREAT fanfic. However, I do understand if you don't have much time because I also write but I have so many exams (and these count to my university so they are VERY important) that I have to revise for. Anyway, I hope this is helpful and like I said, I hope I haven't offended you in any way.
Keep up with the good work sensei! ;)
| Nispedana chapter 6 . 5/7/2013
*le gasp* I'm in the final chapter?! xD Darn it. hahah. Hope to read the rest soon!
Anyway, this chapter was a good read! I;m still getting used to the unfamiliar folks but regardless-you made this a very likeable chap as always. xD *thumbs up*
| kariza2013 chapter 6 . 4/30/2013
| Nispedana chapter 5 . 4/9/2013
Interesting chapter! May I suggest that certain dialogues be in separate lines with the adjacent ones? That would make the dialogues flow better. :)
And wait-what? I'm already on ch 5? nooo. 1 more chapter left? if it's not so much to ask... please update soon! Hehe
| Guest chapter 6 . 4/3/2013
More Yukimura x Ryomachan pleaase! XD But this is sooo amazing, and can't wait 4 the next chap!