|Reviews for Legacy of the Fallen|
| StrongGuy159 chapter 3 . 9/30/2013
Cool 3 chapters continue please.
| The Keeper of Worlds chapter 3 . 9/30/2013
Oh nice-BWAHAHAHAHA! Eighteen is back!
| False sense of insanity chapter 3 . 9/30/2013
haha love it go get em naruto yahoooooooo
| Dregus chapter 3 . 9/30/2013
so android 18 Is still alive as well. didn't expect that.
but still, I hope the lookout still exists, because naruto is going to need the hyperbolic time chamber.
| Doctor Dandy chapter 1 . 9/30/2013
Sorry man, I just can't get over how pathetic this Naruto is. He's not smart or strong and he's an absolute coward. Good luck with this, but I won't be reading further.
| I Am Harbinger chapter 2 . 9/30/2013
First rule about Popo's training do not talk about Popo's training
| Qzh chapter 2 . 4/8/2013
good chapter and will Naruto be able to fly?
looking foward to next chapter
| Guest chapter 2 . 12/14/2012
Please continue I love this story _
| Shadowprice chapter 2 . 12/8/2012
this is good you should make more
| Reichenfaust chapter 2 . 10/24/2012
I have been checking out all your stories and I really am enjoying them. They may have only a few chapters, but they are very thorough and planned out. Please continue ALL of them, :)
| Ryuujin96 chapter 2 . 9/30/2012
I love this story as well, it's probably my favorite of your Naruto/dbz crosses that you have done. I am wondering if your taking requests for who is in Naruto Harem, if so I would like to see Naruto be with Hinata,Tenten, Haku if you have him be female and Hanabi.
| the master mooma chapter 2 . 9/24/2012
Ive really started to get into dbz naruto crossovers so i will be waiting for the next chapter you should have him become a super saiyan in a similar way to goku
| BROOD WARRIOR chapter 2 . 9/24/2012
I'd say put Naruto on team 10 with Ino as a five man squad so he is with someone he likes a.k.a. Ino. Then for the transformation have it in the wave arc have Haku put Ino in the death like sleep add have Naruto go ape shit. Then it would be cool if Kyuubi gave Naruto's saiyan blood a boost to be half saiyan or three quarters saiyan blood flows through Naruto's vain's because you had Cell kill Gohan a half saiyan and Goku a full saiyan. So I would give Naruto three quarters saiyan blood and the tail Naruto has to have the saiyan monkey tail. At lest that way Naruto will stand a chance against Cell that is my thoughts on this story so far. Next chapter I'll leave a review about who could be in Naruto's harem that I think might work. Your fan BROOD WARRIOR OUT!
| Dr. Ryu chapter 2 . 9/23/2012
Hmm... Could you please go back to your chapters and read it over. In most of your works the gremma is solid. But here were a bit few typos.
I think you have great ideas, what irks me the most, is: That you write a new story and left most of your old work to die, or so it seems. But I digress.
I believe you're one, if not the only one, who can write an intristing db/narutoxover. You write in an style that brings interest to your stories. Sadly, I couldn't writte much about this story here, its to early to tell, if I have a mayor beef with it or not. But, if you can make it intresting, don't let it be TO fastpaced. For the begining, its okay. But slow down a bit, to the most part in the interaction with other charakters. It will get boring when the community gets to read, char. A finds char. B interesting and two chapters down the line there is chars. c to f, who find char. B equally interesting and all party in the sack. /sarcasm/ All is good, Naruto has an fatzillion girls hanging on his bits, becourse his genitalia puts Gamabuntas sword to shame, and all enemies die in envy. Oh, don't forget the femKyuubi who is the only being alive who can put it in her ass, that didn't die after an three week sassion. And that is the main point why the chicks love Naruto. /sarcasm off/ Yeah, if I read something like this again in my livetime, or the several next, it will be to soon.
Charakter development, conflict, thats what we like to read and not necessarily the action kind of conflict. Your fic Snowfall is good, really good. But, a little more charakter interaction with the cast could make, or break the story. Don't be afraid, 'course you have what it takes, believe it! xD
For the girls in Narutos group that could come closer to him, there are a few sugestions, wich are rarely used, or not so common:
Sasame, she is a fillerchar, i know. But you don't read much about her, if one gives her a usefull skillset, she could be an interesting read.
Kurotsuchi, I know of one or two fics where she is used as an loveinterest, but thats it. Just don't use the cliche: marriage for peace. (All you need is love sing) Or: Oh he saved me, wuv yu! Its overdone. The later is an option to make the bond stronger for any char, but not for the start of an relationship.
Then two others: Ayame, 'course the only one that is a great read where she gets any piece of Naruto is in: From Ramen with love. One of the greatest Haremfics.
Aaaand the last but certenly not the least: Amaru. When the catfights breakout, someone has to patch them together at the end. And I don't think Piccolo would just hand over a few beans for the aftermath of such an occasion. :D
Please, don't put Hinata or femHaku in the stables for the run. 4/5 of the fics that are straight and feature an Narutofocus, you have one of them in the story. And if it isn't one of them, its both. At this rate, I don't have much to read anymore. _
The Supersaiyan for Naruto: I would put it off, way off. To Shippuuden, in the Pain battle, to be exact. If its to late for you, than after the Sand/Soundinvasion. Naruto has an strong concetion with the Sandaime, after all. But, if you put it there, by the time Pain comes to play in the story, Naruto would mop the floor with him. Not the most interesting fight one could imagin. Naruto has to struggle with his normal fights too, if just less than in canon. I could go on, but I have a two littel omake for you:
"Damnit, kid." The fused warrior sighed. "This is pointless if you can't become a super saiyan."
Naruto's eyes flashed.
"For the last time...what the hell is a super saiyan?!"
"Something you'll never become at this rate!" His mentor reprimanded. "I've been trying to Naruto knew this was a sore subject for the namekian but he forged on ahead regardless. He hated it, that look of sorrow and dissapointment whenever the subject of super saiyan was broached.
"Well, it'd help if you'd tell me how to do it!"
"I CAN'T!" Piccolo bellowed, his burly voice putting an end to their arguement. "I don't know how! I wasn't there when Goku and Gohan became super saiyans, alright?!" Naruto flinced back, stung by the namek and his words. "Honestly, I don't know who your father or your grandfather were, but they must've been weaklings! Just look at you! You don't have any killing intent! You may have become stronger, thanks to me, but even I can't make you-
Piccolo never did get to finish that sentence. He'd been trying to goad the boy into a rage in an attempt to awaken his powers. He shouldn't have done that. So focused had he been, that he almost missed the chanting, nearly failed to notice how incredibly close the boy-
"...'M FIRIN' MA LAZAAAAAAA!"
Naruto starred at his oppenent in horror and fascination. "You gotta kidin' me." He wispered simply lost. "That is my new sparringpartner?"
Piccolo, that stood to the right of Narutos oppenent, just quirked his non existing, left eyebrow. "Of course. Do you know who that is? He was herallded as one of the rivals to the Sannin in the last war! He will test your speed an evasionskills while I train myself for the coming battles."
"But, but... It's an friggin' chicken!" Lo and behold, Naruto was right, sort of. His new sparringpartner was of the feathered sort. Several feet tall, and an menacing gleem in it's eyes. But it was non the less avain in nature.
"HE", accented Piccolo, "has a Name, an entry and titel in the bingo book of yours and was considered for the position of the Youndaime Kazekage. Besides, he is an ostrich."
"Meet Roadrunner, nemesis to the Coyote."
| Syn Julianus Serafim chapter 2 . 9/22/2012
Tayuya and Naruto meeting would result in 1 of 2 things, either they would try and kill each other or Naruto would end up going out with her. Naruto at this point is kind of a weird compilation of Vegeta, Goku and Gohan, and saiyans tend to go for strong women, so its entirely possible. I have multiple examples of this, Chichi, Bulma, and Videl were all easily the strongest personalities out of the women in the series, with the exception of 18. That said all 3 of them are also princesses of a sort, Chichi is the Ox-kings daughter, Bulma is the daughter of one of the richest companies in the world, and Videl is the daughter of Hercule, who is seen as the savior of the world, so maybe its just that princess personalities attract saiyans. I like it, I'll read pretty much anything you put out at this point, I just have one question, where is Naruto's saiyan tail?