Reviews for The First Wish
Themulchmeister chapter 1 . 10/16/2012
Any story with the word 'entropy' is awesome in my book. Ever since the Elfen Lied Manga ending I've been obsessed with that concept. It's good that you've made a Puella Magi story which goes into the Incubators concept of entropy as well.

Still don't entirely understand what entropy is though. All I know is it can really mess you up...
Tabby Kattene chapter 1 . 10/2/2012
Creepy. Very, very creepy. You do that well.
Markus Ramikin chapter 1 . 9/18/2012
What a coincidence, didn't I just write this story two weeks ago?

Anyway, before I get into quibbles, let me first say that this isn't badly written.

However, in Puella Magi Kyubey says that the magic of magical girls is the first form of energy his civilisation found that isn't bound by thermodynamics. Incubators gain energy from when magical girls turn into witches, so if the magical girl thing were to be only an "enhancement" added as an afterthought, what was the point of the first contract was to begin with?

I'm not sure, I guess maybe you're writing it as if magic was merely Incubator technology, but that creates so many problems. No mere tech can lead, however indirectly, to an improvement of the entropy situation, it's largely the point of the concept of entropy. Not to mention rewriting the laws of the universe, bypassing cause and effect etc. And just think what they could do with time travel if it could happen merely based on tech.

Also, the idea that a contactees' suffering despite doing good is "entropy in action" probably gave some physicist cancer. ;)
andyjay18 chapter 1 . 9/17/2012
I've been pondering fanart of Kyubey's face photoshopped onto the 2001 monolith (or Kyubey with HAL's "eyes"). But dammit, this story is much, much more meaningful than that. Pretty powerful work; it almost seems like a metaphor for the metaphysical downsides of enlightenment, e.g. you "gain the world and lose your soul". And of course, "we can't rewind; we've gone too far".

I first thought the story would end with the fires spreading out of control and killing several hominids, and "ur-Sayaka" meeting her downfall with her regrets over her introduction of fire. But either way, this is still a powerful work. Mr. Clarke would be proud.