Reviews for Slave
Lori Mereel chapter 1 . 8/31/2014
brilliant this is the first out of story line one i read and i couldn't put it down.
LadyBardock chapter 1 . 3/29/2014
Nice story :)
Full Power chapter 1 . 9/1/2013
Well...I gotta admit, this is awesome. At first, it was kind of hard with the Japanese names, but I don't care. The story more than makes up for it. It's just so...awesome. I'm like fanboying. My favorite part was, ""Okay, okay, calm down. I'm sure he's fine," Radittsu said, but he started looking for his scouter anyway.

"And put on some pants!" Buruma shrieked as he got on his knees to check under his bed.

Radittsu pulled the scouter from underneath messy covers and stood up, looking at her quizzically. "These are pants," he said confusedly, his tail swishing with curiosity.

Her cheeks burned, and she hmphed. "No, they are not."

"Bejita walks around in his spandex all the time," Radittsu pointed out.

Her cheeks darkened further, and she grumbled, "I know."

Lol that part was funny. Good job, glorious ruler.
Sasukeluva 4eva chapter 1 . 6/13/2013
Absolutely spectacular. I couldn't tear my eyes away, honestly!

The characterisation was spot on, especially Vegeta, being an arrogant son of a tepid codfish as always, but even so, he was still oddly loveable. Not exactly the word I would go for under any other circumstance, but I still got that vibe from this oneshot, so well done on making one of my most hated characters so pleasantly caustic. ;)

Bulma's interaction with him was truly priceless; I loved how she could still pack a punch with her biting sarcasm, but still knew her boundaries when it came to his temperament. Likewise, I also liked how Vegeta could tolerate her feistiness, even when it normally would have come off as blatantly offensive to somebody like Nappa or Frieza.

You made me fangirl ONCE AGAIN (oh GOD) over the sexiness that is Zarbon. Ugh. Why'd he have to be suh purty? *_*
And he wasn't even in it! He spoke two lines, and I internally melted just by mentally projecting his voice within my mind. XD

Kudos for that man; a hard feat to do with only a sentence, but you admittedly nailed it, sooooooo... :3

Frieza: a dick, as usual, but strangely creeper. Like, "paedobear creeper that would eat Bulma's face and then some" creeper. Yeah. That kind. Lol. XD

I actually hate Raditz, but once again you fucked with my mind and made him likeable. I squee'd and giggled over him like an idiot, and found myself grinning like a fool whenever he'd come out with a particularly witty quip or one-liner. I wanted to glomp his not-so-fine ass. Ugh. Feels. X3

The fluff nearly killed me, FERSERIOUS. I had gotten so used to his cutting demeanour that I was beginning to think that romance was a lost cause but nope. You got me again. What, that's like, the third time already? As far as I'm concerned, you're on a roll dude. ;P
It wasn't intoxicating or insufferable, and nor did it deviate from their actual character dynamic, which made it all the more enjoyable, so I take my hat off to you. A seriously good job.

You made it more about the character development than the sexy-time. And I thank you for it. Not nearly enough authors are able to do this (at all, let alone successfully), and you have executed this flawlessly. I think that with such a... Contrasting couple, one needs to exercise restraint with regard to the more intimate details of their relationship, and place further emphasis on the finer details of their intricate situation, and you have done this superbly.

The length of the story had me near drooling; I always love to sink my teeth into something with substance and quantity, and it also happens that you supplied me with QUALITY as well, so that just made my day compete. I can't stop grinning like a psychotic loon. 8D

There were, however, some key errors that you may wish to revise once you have sorted your other affairs out. They hardly divert from the flow of the story (much), but they are somewhat noticeable, no matter how minor.

I understand, however, that it will take a while to go over, considering the vast, juicy length of it, so by all means,mplease do take your time. It will enhance the overall impact of your delivery, and you will be thankful for it. (:

My only qualm was the ending. I know that finding a fitting conclusion is difficult to ascertain, but it was too rushed in comparison to your previous segments. If you were to perhaps re-read over the last two paragraphs and extend them/alter them to suit the needs of the story, you may be able to fix this. I felt like it was too abrupt, like it was jarring like cogs that were jammed against one another, and it kind of gave the impression of being anticlimactic, in my opinion.

I loved Vegeta looking in through her window, though, so my main problem is with everything after Bulma embracing him. Other than that, an absolutely fantastic oneshot, that I would definitely recommend to all of my fellow authors (who ship this pairing).

Loved it, loved it, loved it.

Totally going on my favourites list. :D

I looke forward to reading more of your work!

Kindest regards,

Rin
DarkAssassin15 chapter 1 . 6/10/2013
Who the heck is Burma, Bejita, Raddittsu, and Furiza?
Clueless-Major chapter 1 . 6/2/2013
Just amazing! I really liked this, I thought it had a great flow and and I thought you described everything with very vivid imagery. I have to admit though... the ending felt a bit rushed (I don't know how Goku would feel about Earth being annexed), but it still was a very good and enjoyable read.
Imitation Angel chapter 1 . 5/25/2013
That was beautiful. I loved it And Vegeta seems much more human in this.
nemesisswan chapter 1 . 5/6/2013
No. It's me who should applaud you. ;) Amazingly well done! Everything: plot, writing style, details of Freiza. But I do admit, some people may find it hard to get used to the original versions of names. ;)
You should rated it T. Sure, there was mentioning she is being aroused by the sigh of Begita's body but much worse things would still classified as T. Only a really hot making out scene or pure lemon would make this story an M fanfic.
LeChick chapter 1 . 5/5/2013
I try to deny it but I love happily-ever-afters. This was simply great and entertaining. You're seriously spoiling me with such high quality fanfic.
Ororo chapter 1 . 4/17/2013
Yes I read it all and it was totally worth it :)
- : Tiny typos here and there, and one Bulma instead of Buruna.
: Very good variation of the slave routine, the tone was perfect.
kalcia chapter 1 . 2/27/2013
That was seriously a sweet story! I loved how often and in a detailed way you described vegeta's tail. It seems that most au space fics miss this very important element - tail showing his emotions!
Too bad it didn't contain a lemony bit, but nonetheless, awesome job!
Even despite the fact, I don't usually enjoy people using japanese words in english sentences, I enjoyed it immensely!
Silent Uke Fuu chapter 1 . 11/30/2012
Only thing that threw me off where the slight alterations to names. xD
Maga Valkyria chapter 1 . 11/24/2012
Aw, this was lovely X3! great work!
dragonball256 chapter 1 . 11/9/2012
This was awesome. Got kinda confusing to read their Japanese names but I loved it still.
Guest chapter 1 . 10/31/2012
It was a good story but at the end it was confusing the story jumped to another thing it wasnt makinh sence
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