|Reviews for From Me To You|
| Amulet Misty chapter 4 . 1/27/2013
Kota and the others met Mr. H! :D I like how in-character you get him. And Kiki is such an adorable character - I really like how she warmed out to Mr.H right away. And ooooh Kariya's in charge for now eh? That's cool :)
Also it's a pretty interesting concept to have whatever time left on the player's hand before the mission end to be lights out - I'm guessing you're having that as a rule change from after Neku's game x3
Great job on this chapter!
| Reprise chapter 3 . 11/7/2012
Kiki is adorable. I'm curious about her past though; how does a little girl die? I'm guessing it's just a car crash or something. As for Riff and Melody, appear a little similar to Rhyme and Beat. I hope you don't make them resemble them too much, not that I think you will. Kanashii is quite strange. Very creative idea, to have the Game Master actually regret erasing players.
I could emphasise with Kota's difficulties hitting the wolf noise; those things were a pain to kill, haha. On a serious note, I liked that Kota couldn't use his powers immediately; I haven't read that before.
Now, concrit. I found a few typos, such as ""One cue with the hand motion". That should've been "On cue with the hand motion", I assume. There were a couple of other small typos, but I can't find them right now.
"He had a lean face, almost as pale as bone with dark stubble on his chin, and his blonde hair was past his shoulders and a few stray strands fell over his face, and it looked as though he needed a shower badly." And, and, and. It's so easy to skip over that sentence accidently because of the amount of ands. Sentences like that can be fixed by adding a semi-colon or even just splitting the sentence into two parts.
"He had a lean face, almost as pale as bone with dark stubble on his chin. His blonde hair was past his shoulders and a few stray strands fell over his face; he looked as though he needed a shower badly.". To me, that sentence is a lot easier to read.
Anyway, I wonder what Kota's entry fee was. And what will happen when Kanashii has to try to erase Kiki? He's guilty enough without having to kill a little girl.
XD and on that happy note, I will end this review. I'll get round to reading Reversal soon.
| Amulet Misty chapter 3 . 11/1/2012
Riff is really cool 8D And woah Kota had some awesome moves there. Glad they made it though the first day ('cause if they didn't that'd just be sad.) Can't wait for more!
| Amulet Misty chapter 2 . 10/16/2012
The second chapter was just as good as the first. I liked how you had another person save Kota before he knows he has to find a partner - a pretty different scenario than the usual. :)
| Reprise chapter 2 . 10/16/2012
I'm desparately trying to type this review as I'm being rushed, so apologies if this review seems a little rushed.
Kota clinging onto the hope that he was alive at the beginning of the chapter made me feel for him. What I also liked was how the first player- well, the first two players weren't his partner. It added a feeling of desperation to the story.
What I also, also, liked was Kota's partner(hereby "the girl")'s pin. An offensive forcefield! Brilliant. I can't comment on the girl's personality though, seeing as she reacted the way a lot of sane people would.
I couldn't find any typos or grammatical errors, by the way. Good job on that.
| Reprise chapter 1 . 9/19/2012
Hey Knight, this is Reprise.
Well, as far as first chapters go, this was enough to hook me in. Kota seems to be an interesting main character and you nailed Uzuki's personality. The way Kota's life ended with such a sharp sentence sort of shouted out: "The story starts here".' I'm not sure if that was intentional, but it was a good move if it was.
The idea of Kota essentially being killed Neku and Shiki is an interesting one, and it makes me wonder whether they were a simple cameo or an actual plot point.
Now for the flaws. There weren't many, so I'm gonna have to be picky. Very, very picky. First, what I didn't like was how you told us so much about Kota's hobbies and personality within the first few paragraphs. That would flow better and feel more natural if you showed us his personality, instead of simply stating it.
And the only other flaw is a matter of a simple misplaced comma:
"All you have to do, is win the Reaper's Game."
That comma shouldn't be there, because it doesn't separate two parts of a sentence; all it does is interrupt a sentence which is fine on its own, and disrupt the flow. But as I said, I'm being overly critical.
A brilliant start to what I hope is a good fic.
| Amulet Misty chapter 1 . 9/18/2012
Wow I just love how you started this. It's just so ironic that Neku and Shiki were the ones that caused Kota to enter the game. I'm also liking Kota already, weird tastes in clothes but he seems like a good kid.
Looking forward to more!
| WordRover chapter 1 . 9/18/2012
Cool! It's written really well. I usually don't like new-game fics, but you've made it interesting so far.