|Reviews for I Promise You|
| megamar chapter 10 . 10/21/2012
Thanks for the update
Can you please make the chapter longer
| Nyaaaaaaah chapter 10 . 10/21/2012
what the?! thats it?! you better update really soon i dont quite get the attitude of fate in here..just update soon ughhh
| Guest chapter 9 . 10/5/2012
i cant understand fate being with everyone?
| megamar chapter 7 . 9/25/2012
WOW Fate you gonna make every one fall in love with you
Fate's the king of harem
| Revengest chapter 7 . 9/26/2012
| Ray-Kun chapter 7 . 9/25/2012
Well there was a reason behind everything. But you will find out later in the chapter.
| Nyaaaaaaah chapter 7 . 9/25/2012
what the hell happen why she kissed her in the lips and not nanoha whats in the mind of fate what will happn to nanoha? ughhhh why alisa? -_-
| Ray-Kun chapter 6 . 9/24/2012
That is true, but I am still trying to catch up on my English. I am not really good with third person at all. I am kinda still learning how to use some English words. English isn't my main language so it's hard to speak and write it so I ask my editor to edit it. But she's currently sick, and I tried doing the corrections myself. To say myself, it's hard if I didn't speak English as my main language. Though I am trying not to make mistakes, plus its hard not to make them first. Please forgive my grammar, spelling, and my writing skills since I am a beginner in learning English.
| megamar chapter 5 . 9/22/2012
That was fast
| ElementalMiko12 chapter 1 . 9/23/2012
okay i have to say this love the storyline but your throwing odd words in your sentances; i had to guess at quiet a bit of what you wrote .
but all in all good storyline keep up the good work... maybe make the chappy a bit longer though by discribing things around them.
ex. She woke up to a bright ray of sun beating down at her closed eyes; wind brushed across her forehead before racing off to slap around in mid air falling leaf. It landed on her forehead softly as she felt the grass under her tickle her exposed arms and legs. 'Where was she again?' she wondered as she stared up into crystal clear blue skys as two blue birds danced around each other playing tag. The not so distant giggles and laughter of children entered her senses giving her further clue to where she was. She sat up only to be knocked back down when she was hit in the head by something white and black "ouch!" she sat up quickly rubbing her forehead lightly. she blinked in surprise as she glanced around her children all around her "sorry miss." a little bow bowed as a slightly older girl tried to play doctor and examine her head. "its okay you didn't do it on purpose." she told the boy who smiled brightly placing a bandaid across her forehead after the girl backed away from playing doctor. "There all better! You shouldnt sleep out here big sister!" he told the older girl who now had a bandaid on her forehead. The girl raised a questioning eyebrow "why's that?" she asked curiously. The boys and girls frowned "cause we dont want you to get stolen!" they all expressed in union. She came to this childs park regularly it was where her brother played soccer before the car crash. She felt almost connected to him just by being here and seeing these kids smile only confirmed what she already knew. Her head bowed slightly allowing her bangs to cover over her eyes. The boy who'd appologized knelt down in the grass worriedly giving her a hug after seeing her twist hurt expression. Her tears soaked his shirt like never ending falling raindrops 'I miss my brother... I miss him alot.' she thought. She pulled out of the boys hug pulling herself together and stood up brushing the dirt of legs before looking up at them with a bright smile patting their heads softly "you guys are such great kids!" she told them.
| Ray-Kun chapter 2 . 9/23/2012
Well in the end, it will make perfect understanding. My spelling isn't really perfect and I might miss some words when I edit. Uploading Chapter 5.
| SapphoSensei chapter 5 . 9/23/2012
Great job - I think you should put into the story that what Fate whispered into Nanoha's ear at the hospital was that she loved her as a friend - not just in the author notes. Without this it makes the story confusing as to why in the next chapter Nanoha wishes Fate loved her.
Here is one English tip - in a number of places you have a character thinking and you use the third person "she" or "her" instead of "I" or "my".
An example: Fate has the looks, the voice, even the personality to make MY daughter
fall in love with her.' I thought when I was listening to Fate's singing.
| megamar chapter 3 . 9/21/2012
what the hell you're kidding right
Its seem like everyone like Fate and want to protect her
| Ray-Kun chapter 5 . 9/22/2012
Okay I'll try to be make it longer, but thats gonna take a lot longer to upload on the release date.
| ElementalMiko12 chapter 4 . 9/21/2012
XD i'm finding this story kinda interesting off the bat thats kinda rare these days :3 keep up the good work! might wanna make the chappy's longer though :( its so sad Y.Y to finish a chapter so quickly *sniffles*