Reviews for Mass Effect: Antiquated Relic
Dallen chapter 13 . 12/19/2013
Well I like this story But I understand that you have a problem of writer's block for this story, however why not to try to make Yoko begin a relationship with Edward Buck?
ANIMAE chapter 13 . 7/2/2013
Guest chapter 12 . 11/6/2012
A great new begining for the story Love it
Guest chapter 12 . 11/6/2012
Title Name:

Turn Soul
bruto chapter 12 . 11/6/2012
i love the idea of start a fresh with her parents and creating a new faction thats more inonovattive/creative .
karthik9 chapter 12 . 11/5/2012
this start is much better and more realistic
Guest chapter 11 . 11/5/2012
Keep Shepard in the story
Keep Gillian chapters Great that you used a character from the books
Keep Vega's chapter sheds some light on his history
Go back to the original meaning of Antiquated Relic: It was meant to be a filler arc between ME1 and ME2
More Mech action maybe
Maybe have the characters Yoko is going to get have a more significant impact on battles and story:Like doing some of the story from their pointy of view. And or split them up sometimes to accomplish specific targets critical to missions.
Plus to TokoronaSh and Rydan fall **** you both!
SUPPLEMENTING ME TECH **** for Yoko's true science Mechs?! The **** up with you?!
Yoko isn't a Mary Sue!
Yoko is the Mass Effect Version of The Boss!
Love The references to popular games! Don't mind them but maybe the would some times have a bigger role in the future?
Guest chapter 10 . 11/4/2012
To Tokorosha and Rydan fall You are ****
Kazama is trying to make an entirely different mass effect Bleach ff writers dose it Deathnote ff writers have done that and to **** if Yoko is branded a Mary Sue sometimes you need them sometimes you do and don't well Yoko SHOULD stay! Yoko is triing to prove that we don't need ME tech to go to the stars. She is tring to save humanaties identity of science, I don't frankly care about the references to other games the tech in them is way better than any ME ****.


By the way Kazama maybe you should rewrite chapter it seems to have gone off course with the huge time skip to Sheapards Ressurection.
Antiquated Relic was ment to be a filler Arc linking ME 1 and ME2
Keep the chapters with Gillian and the one about Vaga they were good keep Vagas for a later time.

And Also keep the characters that Yoko was aiming to gather up for her team I would really like to see your version of Eddie Buck. A long reader when genisis came out.
TokoronaSh chapter 10 . 11/2/2012
Suggestion: Remove Yoko as a character entirely. You may note this translates to stop writing this fanfiction.

This should be a warning sign. (Yoko is by all definitions a Mary Sue, and you have seriously ruined the canon universe and characters. )

(PPS: Why do you need to have a OMGAWESOMEWTFBBQ OC when you can just make Shepard that anyway?)
BJACKSON244 chapter 11 . 11/2/2012
In my opinion if you are having writer's block then it might be best that you either rewrite the story without Shepard or have him as a minor role where he might be mentioned occassionally by the Council, Alliance or the News.

Idea: Yoko could be preparing for the Reaper War whilst Shepard is running around dealing with the Collector threat.
Guest chapter 11 . 11/2/2012
i think shepard should be in the story but as a supporting role or you could not at all.

the story should be more about yoko and how she does everything im sure she would hear what sheps up to.

shep is a supporting role in this fic . also i dont like how you made shep brain dead , i know he stubborn but you made it as he does not have ears. your arguments stalemated 4 a while then suddenly changes...
meow114 chapter 11 . 11/2/2012
i say you leave "Mass effect: Genesis" as it is and bascily keep Shepard dead (cus he sux) in the rewrite of "Mass Effect: Antiquated Relic" and have alot of 'Illusive man' bashing, as for technolgy as you have added the slip-drive i am guess yoko with be a reclaimer if you crossover with halo or the first forerunner XD plz update/rewrite asap
CarryOnMyWaywardSonKansas chapter 11 . 11/2/2012
Rewrite without Shepard
Rydan fall chapter 11 . 11/1/2012
The main problem was that you made Yoko a to much of a Mary Sue.
Also, might I suggest you study all Gundam series ans Full Metal Panic?
I'm quite sure you can recreate their effects with Eezo-tech.
Phase-Shift-Armor is somekinda barrier tech.
Gundanium is Salaris-armor.
Blue-shield is a cyclonic Eezo shield
GN-drives are small (and advanced) Eezo based (FTL) drives that uses the build-up as a way to get a second life.
Lambda-driver could be a Biotic effect upscaler from personal to mech size.
As for the energy weapons in the Gundam serie, Thanic-canons?
CyberAngelOne chapter 11 . 11/1/2012
You might consider redoing the last part of the first part of the series. Making it so that Sheppard does not die. That way you can just sideline him in the second part and not mention him much at all. That way you will not have to redo the entire series. Plus then Sheppard would not be having any inclination to have anything to do with IM besides shooting at. That way you will just have to redo some of the parts of the second part of the series and not have to redo almost the entire series.
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