Reviews for Look Your Last Upon The Sun
VenomousButterfly chapter 1 . 5/27/2013
This is interesting! I hope you'll continue it soon. :)
Thymelady chapter 1 . 1/2/2013
I liked it very much! It's in a way similar to the Stockholm Syndrome, and Rebecca WOULD start to care for him, because she is that kind of person. It's also plain and obvious that both Ivanhoe and Rowena aren't the complicated sort, like her and Brian. Any chance that you'll continue?
Honor Reid chapter 1 . 11/2/2012
Wow this is really good. I loved Rebecca's pov it is very spot on as to her character. I like how you handled Rebecca/Ivanhoe(although I do ship them;) I found your reasoning very true as far as how Ivanhoe felt about both Rebecca and Rowena. I can't wait for more! :D
Aurora chapter 1 . 9/27/2012
WoW! Looking forward to the next chapter!
English is not my native language so I needed little help of a dictionary, yet the plasure of reading was great.
I have been in love with Brian/Rebecca for years and always wanted them to be together. Do you plan to follow the original plot or amaze us with alternative ending?:)))
Aurora
Guest chapter 1 . 9/25/2012
Excellent!
Please, go on!
I love them both, Rebecca and Brian.
wervelende chapter 1 . 9/25/2012
Finally, another Rebecca/Brian de Bois Guilbert story! Thank you for undertaking this. I know you're doing this for personal satisfaction, so I'm not sure whether you want critique or not. If the latter, just take the good and leave the rest!

Firstly, I LOVE, LOVE, LOVE the title. It's perfectly analogous to what Rebecca must be feeling as she falls for a man shrouded in darkness. I'm disappointed you started the story here and not back at the castle, because Rebecca's moment standing on the tower parapet is one of my favorite passages in all literature. But that's just personal taste. You've got to stay true to the story you envision!

I'm kind of dialogue-oriented, so I'm looking forward to when you start getting into that. Favorite sentences:
"Ivanhoe is a good man, but not a complicated one..."
"She could despise a man of shadows, or a creature built from the flames of hell, a being of violent lust… But, when jailed, her jailor becomes a man, though traced with darkness and fire."

My critique about this chapter is that you take your picture of time moving slowly and the walls moving in and repeat it over and over. I don't know, it just seemed hammered in a bit too much. Restating things works well in a sort of lyrical way, but overdoing it makes things seem clunky. There’s a balance to find. Also, you state that Rebecca is attracted to Brian, but you don't go into detail about why a woman who would throw herself from a tower to avoid him would have such a change of heart. As this is the prologue, I'm hoping you'll get more into that later.

Oh, and here are some notes I was going to PM you about, but as I'm here already, I might as well include them. These are things that I would really like to see in an Ivanhoe fic and that I would be thrilled for you to think about:
1. Historical accuracy. Your knowledge of Templar-appropriate facial hair gives me great hope in this area! :)
2. A tangible sense of place. The story is set in a specific, history-rich time. I want to feel the drafts stirring the tapestries on the stone walls, see the amber flicker of the firelight on people’s faces, hear the ring of the clashing swords, taste the mead, breathe the air. I want to experience it like I am there.
3. A key characteristic of Rebecca is her religious and familial commitment, so I think these need to factor into her story/perspective.
4. Tight plot. Know where the story is going and how you’re going to get there.
And um, I think there were others but I can’t remember them. I think this is good enough. I realize this calls for an enormous amount of research and work, and I completely understand if you don’t want to do all that for a story that’s not going to get as many reviews as, say, some “Twilight” fic. (Although if the world were right, Ivanhoe fics would be getting a lot more attention, but I digress. :)

So, anyway, there’s my long and rambling review. I look forward to seeing where this story is headed, and I thank you again for sharing it!
Lady Evy chapter 1 . 9/20/2012
Beautiful! Keep on writing please!

Eve