|Reviews for And Jumpers Hide His Scars|
| Cosmic Colors chapter 21 . 2/14
Oh, it has been over year! Whyyyyyyyy? Please update, and please let it be soon!
| Random Flyer chapter 8 . 1/13
I didn't think the dialogue in this chapter was confusing. If you have problems with that, though there are a couple good rules of thumb to follow to make sure everyone knows whom you're talking about:
- If you start a new paragraph always restate the name of the person you're talking about before moving into personal pronouns. (If there's only one person in the scene this guideline can be bent, but if there's more than one character it helps clear up confusion before it starts.)
- Always keep dialogue (and accompanying narration) separated between characters and restate whom is speaking with each new paragraph. So if character X says something and Character Y snorts at it, place character Y's snorting in their own paragraph.
- If you talk about more than one person in a sentence, only use personal pronouns for one of them refer to the other by their name each time they come up in the sentence. It can get a little repetitive, but it keeps the reader from having to figure out who was what.
Still enjoying the story, looking forward to more. :)
| Random Flyer chapter 7 . 1/13
This story reminds me a little of the short story The Ones Who Walked Away From Omelas. It's a little abstract, but if you haven't read it I recommend looking it up and taking a look. :)
| Random Flyer chapter 4 . 1/13
This is a good story premise. Sherlock's got a mystery to solve and John's got a mission to carry out and that gives the plot a good direction. Your grammar and dialogue a good. I would suggest a little more narration or description, but I tend to be a more verbose writer. You're getting across what's happening in the story and that's the main thing.
The main critique I would offer would be the basic format of some of the chapters. In a couple of the authors notes you mention there wasn't much story movement or that is was simply a filler. When you add a chapter to a story it should always move the story forward at least a little. If you have a section that doesn't move the story along, then it's generally best add it to another section that does. Otherwise you'll end up with a group of chapters that don't really do much for the story standing alone. It'll make the story choppy and harm the flow. Also, try not to leave off a chapter in the middle of a sentence or a scene. I've seen some authors on this site try to use it as a method of suspense, but it's closer to poor story/chapter planning in all honesty.
I really do like this story and I hope you continue it. You've got a great base started and a good pace going. Everyone's in character and the setting is solid. Looking forward to reading more. :)
| Thisonefan chapter 21 . 11/23/2013
Love it! Update soon!
| xXCOMMANDERXx chapter 21 . 11/4/2013
Always. ALWAYS. Every. Time. How can it be, that EVERY even MILDLY interesting fic I come across, (never mind this brilliant, perfect one), stops on a colossal cliffhanger?! How?! Whyyy?! This isn't humanly possible!
Alright, I'm okay now. As I was saying; this story is amazing! The idea is BRILLIANT, everybody is so in-character I feel like I'm reading script from a new episode, the language involved is fantastic... I'm never bored too- the plot moves along in a smooth yet captivating fashion, and the way it's written is PERFECT. I love the interaction between John and Sherlock, and I especially admire how you managed to smoothly squeeze in other familiar names- Mrs. Hudson, Lestrade, Molly, etc; that was a great idea, and you pulled it off spectacularly... Mr. and Mrs. Holmes were great too, and Mycroft was INCREDIBLY well-written; I demand you involve him more!
Overall, great job! Seriously! I swear, if I ever get out of this hell hole and meet you, I will LITERALLY bow down.
| LoveIsMoreThanDesire chapter 21 . 8/2/2013
| nobodyimportant at all chapter 1 . 6/24/2013
im really enjoying this cant wait to read more
| Sherlockreader chapter 5 . 6/23/2013
This is great x
| DrarryTLA chapter 21 . 5/13/2013
I shall be waiting as patiently as Sherlock would for an update. (Just kidding. Don't rush yourself on my account.)
This story has beenreally interesting and I LOVE the title! Its intense. :)
Keep up the great work!
| Sky-Angel14 chapter 21 . 4/13/2013
Please update soon!
| Vyanni Krace chapter 21 . 4/6/2013
Please, please, pleeaaaseee update soon!
| mewmewgodess chapter 21 . 3/20/2013
Awesome! can't wait to see what happens next!
| Singr27 chapter 21 . 2/28/2013
Hey I LOVE YOUR STORY ... Actually I LOVE ALL YOUR STORIES! You are a brilliant writer and capture the emotions and feel of the characters/show perfectly! Please update your stories soon and I apologize for not having commented sooner... Also, I love your sister's tales they are awesome :D
| MasterRet chapter 21 . 2/15/2013
I love your story. And the bloopers. Its like having icecream and maltesers! But your story is wonderful and creatively awesome. :)