|Reviews for Beyond an Heiress' Purpose|
| Wondermoonlight chapter 36 . 7/20
Well, where to start? I'm on a mission in finding good Naruhina fics to entertain myself with and I came upon yours. I was absolutely not dissapointed. The idea is fantastic, it's new and really creative. Never thought I could like priestesses this much. You interpreted them in such a kind and humble way that they just worked good. And making Hinata one just made it better. The shamans were a great touch to the story. Their beauty and curses stole the show. Really, from all the OC's you created I liked Masayo the most. The love triangle was good, it was like just on point, if you would have done more it would have been overwhelming.
It was a good idea to start the story in tragedy and make it better from then on, I usually like it the other way around, but I could get really into it this time. I guess you just knew how to pull it off! Long story short: Well done! I would definitely read it again in the future.
Now for the things I didn't like:
I found your usage of verbal tenses extremely annoying. The change from present to past in the same phrase should not be done (narration or dialogue).
What was also awkward was your need to repeat things over and over again. For example Hinata being Sasukes only chance to revive his clan, I don't how many times I actually read that, but they were a lot of times.
And was it really necessary to copypaste your own text to use it as a flashback? Short texts would have been ok, but no, they were LONG paragraphs. I had no intentions of reading the same thing again so I just skipped it, it was boring.
What I didn't like from the story itself was the waste of time to make a prophecy when the only thing that was true from it was Hinata saving the world from darkness. Nothing else! Sasuke wasn't used to kill her (which was a total waste of great opportunities in my opinion) and Naruto being her only and real savior. I never felt he was, and worse, I don't remember him saving her even once! The ones I remember that actually saved her and meant something were Sasuke (oh, the irony) and Sakura (who came out of nowhere and took me a while to accept). If Naruto was supposed to be only an emotional savior than it would be different. He did some job at it, but I still felt that Hinata was incredibly week minded until the second timeskip.
Other than those points like I already said, I adored this story. 7/10! I had a great time! I'd like to thank you for posting this and give me the opportunity to read it and enjoy it! Don't worry, I really did. I wish you have a great time!
| ZirconK chapter 36 . 6/10
Shit i really am feeling so bad as i miss such a great fanfic and also of my best pair(Naruto-Hinata) reading for four months since i begin reading the fanfic. Well i still am a novice on this field.
I must admit this as one of best i ever read but it ended so soon(Hehe who am i kidding.i got to read full fic without having to wait!)
Lastly i must admit i was willing to go back all chapters to comment more but i restrain as it will be a little odd after so long. You rocked it!
Let's see if you have new naruhina ready or not as i still have to check your account for it!
| Great chapter 36 . 5/25
Hehehe, this is a cute story. Altough there were some small loop-holes left behind, like Why does the chakra of Kurama help the Sacred Priestess or what would have happened if Sasuke protected Hinata. Small things like that. Also, I suggest that the chapters in which Hinata is Tsuki, you name her Tsuki. Because we do know she's Hinata and she's suppose to stay in character. A recommendation. Oh well, Looking forward to more!
| Shrimps1995 chapter 15 . 5/20
haha, I suspected as I was reading the story, but from that line about the one ryo I know you are using some material from the Moon Embracing the Sun. I love that drama.
| EdwinMoq chapter 36 . 5/2
Wonderful history. Great job.
| Ramrikai chapter 36 . 3/24
Just ... Wow.
I'm actually very glad you didn't include a lemon here. You conveyed their deep, deep love very well without it, and the touches of suggestion you left were enough to portray their desire for one another. I feel that a lemon scene would have tarnished it with unneeded lust, like adding too much salt to a batch of cookie dough. You need a little bit to fully bring out the flavor, but too much spoils the batch. Similarly their love in this story needs a touch of lust or it would feel young and immature, but too much and the vibrant glow it dimmed and tinted. There are times for lemons, but that was not one of them. You did very well.
This whole story was fantastic. I bounced over here when I saw it recommended in New Chance. I didn't review until now because I simply couldn't stop reading.
After it's all said and done, I have but one complaint: the final pairing was spoiled. Part of it isn't really your fault as you should provide an accurate listing for readers' search purposes, but you also gave away the pairing in your author notes. I will admit that I would likely have either spoiled it for myself or not even read this story as SasuHina is an abomination in my eyes. However, for more patient and tolerant readers, the spoiling of the final pairing removes a significant amount of suspense of who she will end up with. In addition to this, the fact that any pairing with Hinata was spoiled at all means that her "death" shouldn't have fooled anyone.
Regardless, this was still an amazing story with one of the happiest endings I've seen in a long while. Granted I haven't read a completed fic in a while either, but still. Awesome.
P.S. The play on Hinata's name with "Tsuki" was very clever. I'm sure that anyone else who knew the meaning of her name enjoyed that as well.
| August Smith chapter 18 . 11/18/2014
Skim so hard mofos wanna fine me! *dat shit cray...aint it dre?* SKIM SKIM SO HARD!...I can see a chapter or two of filler but...if the majority of the story isn't romance then please don't tag it as romance. I wanted to see some love here and all I've gotten thus far is angst...if the WHOLE story is Hinata getting her memory back so she can finally be with Naruto at the VERY end you should not tag the story as romance, its misleading and cruel :(
| August Smith chapter 15 . 11/18/2014
Too much text regarding memory loss and random extra plot stuff...our main characters have barely interacted yet the story still revolves around them? I don't normally like to skim reading but I have a feeling I'm gonna be doing a lot of it :(
| August Smith chapter 13 . 11/18/2014
I really like the story so far but...not nearly enough Naruto/Hinata/Sasuke development to justify their actions IMO. Its still a really good story, I just think that for the characters to feel so strongly about each other that there should have been more development between them. Like real dates and actual hangouts rather than just some weird obsessions and life-saving occurrences.
| August Smith chapter 9 . 11/18/2014
If you keep up the angst much longer the romance/supernatural tag you put on the story will be total BS :P Other than that the story is well written and cool. I hope we get some actual romance soon. You have quite a long story and I'm surprised to see so few follows/reviews. I know its just a T rating which sucks, but still...I'll keep going though and I hope that my instincts aren't mistaken!
| August Smith chapter 6 . 11/18/2014
If the WHOLE story is based on this "rivalry" between Sasuke and Naruto for the affections of Hinata then you should put that somewhere in the notes of the story lolz. I don't mind some initial tension but...if it lasts more than 150-200k words, then all I have to say is WTFBOOM!
| August Smith chapter 4 . 11/18/2014
You have gotten much praise from the authors of this site...Your writing style is very fluid, however I'm not impressed with the content thus far. That doesn't mean I think its bad at all, in fact its pretty adequate. I believe it could have been made better however by an initial interaction between Hinata and Naruto other than what she saw in the fight. She's already healing and directly interacting with Sasuke (who I'm assuming is the negative lad in her life, however if I fell for the troll and this is really a SasuHina story then bravo!) but we are already moving on past the chuniin exams with basically no interaction between Naruto and Hinata thus far? I know theres a lot to go and this review is basically dust in the wind but I really do like the style and hope to be entertained later on.
| Anisax chapter 36 . 11/10/2014
Woow ... This story was so amazing! I couldn't wait for the next evening to read the following chapters. All these ups and downs throughout the story were thrilling. There was no way to not be affected by the drama taking place in Naruto's and Hinata's life.
Thank you very much for all your hard work and I hope to read another amazing story from you soon! :)
| anauzumaki999 chapter 36 . 9/12/2014
i loved your story ... well done
| Wondering Knight chapter 15 . 8/20/2014
So far it's really good and sad. I like the way you made Sasuke love her for selfish reasons and Naruto love her for selfless reasons. Sasuke never seems like the type to actually care for someone other than what they can offer his clan and you showed that with Sasuke. He doesn't really love her, but he loves the thought if her rebuilding his clan.