|Reviews for Under My Over|
| Naishu chapter 1 . 12/24/2012
While my canon knowledge is nil, this was very understandable. You explained your concepts clearly, and took care to explain how the characters related to each other. I'm grateful that you explained the 'TD'.
There was one SpaG error that I can't find again, but I will!
| psionicpeaceful chapter 10 . 12/1/2012
Wow. This was pretty abstract at the beginning but after a while things started to make more sense. Or I just need to think harder :3
I enjoyed reading this! Even if it was 'inspired' by something it was still a nice and different addition to the SSB archives.
| Psychic Prince chapter 10 . 11/30/2012
You finished just in time! :D
That was very interesting, a little confusing at times, but nonetheless awesome!
| Green Phantom Queen chapter 1 . 11/30/2012
This is a very interesting story, but I have no idea what the title's supposed to mean (it sounds really cool though)
The idea of Wolf and Falco getting along is interesting in contrast to their characterization in Starfox. I also love your cover image for the story which has both the yin and yang symbols floating. Very symbolic.
That's all I can say for now. Great story.
| WrittenWithPencils chapter 8 . 11/27/2012
Hello, again. It is me, with a shiny new avatar! LOL, WUT?
Excuse that little outburst of mine. Anyways, onto the comment.
...I can't really review it, honestly. Though don't feel bad for this. A lot of people have told me that my work is very well developed and good to read, but hard to review. But what exactly is it about my work that makes people have trouble reviewing it!?
Well, one thing's for sure, this is a good fic you got going here, in my opinion. I wish you good luck with the contest. (I'm having trouble w/ mine...)
| ReadingBlueWolf chapter 6 . 11/23/2012
"I don't why, but she's starting to look familiar."-I don't know why?
So I suddenly get this feeling that the girl is Zelda and he regrets marrying her. I can't take another sad Zelink story. Or one where they're not paired or something. I want them to be happy together. My childhood just doesn't feel complete with these stories.
"dept"-debt like you owe something?
AHHH WHEN IS THIS GOING TO BE DONE! I'm dying to know how this ends. Seriously, I have this even worse pit especially after what they said. It's horrible. I think that Nana died though. That's my guess. This whole story is... Oh gosh. It's really good. I can't wait for the next chapter! Great job!
| IrishPanther chapter 2 . 10/27/2012
Lovely chapter! It was hard to see what Link went through when Wolf and Falco went into his future from his past when he was with that special someone who is now dead (makes sense, eh?). Hopefully the duo can undo some of these memories cuz it seems like Link needs it real bad! No grammatical errors spotted so nice work there! I'll be waiting to read more and to see what happens next!
| chaos Leader chapter 1 . 10/23/2012
... I'm not quite sure what I just read...
If I'm guessing right, it's the smash bros characters, as humans, doing some kind of Inception-style mind-diving, correct? might have to read more...
| Dominus Tenebrosus chapter 5 . 10/23/2012
Neva enuff time... :(
The holder of the device, incidentally, I am calling O for this chapter. His partner can be B. The focus of their attention? T. :D Either way... Hm. Interesting tidbit about the drain bamage.
Hmm. Where's B? Curious...
Curious... Why would he be able to be away like that? Different memories, or...?
Hm. At first, I was confused at who had the news. Had to reread that bit a couple times.
Humm... What's her deal?
Yeah, I'm with O here. That's... Odd.
Humm. Unusual argument.
Ahh. That explains it, doesn't it? Nice tie-in to the previous chapter, incidentally.
...Uh. Okay, what's her deal now? Hm. Something I'm missing, for sure.
Heh. Yes, B was stuck.
Oh c'mon O, get him unstuck. ...Or just think he's complaining about something else while making like a luddite. Okay. Incidentally, I'm feeling like there's a SPAG error here: "spend for himself."Heya! There you are!" -I'm thinking an enter got eaten by FFN there.
Heh. Well you can tell they're good friends anyway.
Yes, advice. And heh.
Yeah, that's pretty bad.
Heh. That's a recurrent theme with O, isn't it?
Nice jobs are always elsewhere. :/
Well, long commute, but... Hm.
Humm. Well that explains her reaction, but why the bad memories about it?
Heh. Must have gone slightly back this time. Because she definitely knew before.
Heh. Complicated yet predictable. I could make so many jokes about that one.
B free! /shot
Hmm... Why would cloning kill agriculture? Must be some sort of canon thing...
Yeah. Yeah, he knows.
Yeah, good time for it, considering that bit from earlier...
Man. That'd be a creepy thing to jump into, wouldn't it?
I don't like it either, B. Something's off about that.
Always with the hat! Sheesh. Heh. Must have went back pretty far.
Hmm... What is B remembering? And... Why all the blur? Something tells me there's some drain bamage already present...
Heh. Snarking, love it. Hmm... Interesting. Maybe it's sign language?
In fact, I'm about positive it is. So that's why it's so quiet. Too quiet. /shot
Heh. Nostalgia. Mixed nostalgia, but nostalgia. Tells you a bit about the world, though. *nods*
Heh. I'm with you, O. Sometimes slow pace is nice.
Heh. More snarking.
Hmm... Beeping. That's... Not good.
Well, there were a lot of interesting things here, but I'm feeling like I'm not really tying them together into something coherent. Yet. Not a bad thing, it's just... Yeah, there's more to go here, and it shows.
You also left us on something of a cliffhanger, which is... Hm. I'm not sure how I feel about cliffhangers, sometimes. They're necessary, but they're also... Hnngh.
As a response to your author's note, I wouldn't combine the chapters. They're at a good length as is. *nods sagely* And I'm liking the characters thus far. I believe I listed what things caught my eye in the rolling commentary, incidentally. :D
Good stuff. Looking forward to more. :)
| MessengerOfDreams chapter 2 . 10/22/2012
As usual, Tune, your story reads effortlessly due to your wholly engaging characters, incredibly written monologue and natural dialogue, the little nuances only you have in your writing, the effortless blend between melancholy and humor, dark and light. A fantastic work as yours often are.
| ReadingBlueWolf chapter 5 . 10/21/2012
Okay, you need to make this longer. Don't jip it from the amazingness that it is. I absolutely love it. It's one of my favorites and I can't like it enough!I wish they had a like button for every chapter, or a favorite button, or something to say how much I love this.
Okay, so I'm thinking I'm starting to see what's going on a little bit. I have a bit of an idea of what might be happening with the whole flower shop argument and the lake. And I think I know who the woman in purple is.
I like the bit of humor between Lombardi and O'Donnell. I think it distracts us from the main things that are going on and that's not in a bad way. I like the mystery you keep building in this and just as we're about to figure something out, there's that humor that distracts us, we lose train of thought and then we go back to guessing again. At least in my opinion and I think it's amazing.
As usual, I can't wait until the next chapter and the lack of next button makes me sad. But this story is so worth waiting on. It's brilliant and amazing and I love the orange shirt with the green hat. That was great! And this is a great spin on To the Moon. I love it. If SSB ever did a version, this would be it. It's great and it makes me get all feely!
| ReadingBlueWolf chapter 4 . 10/14/2012
This was interesting. I don't know what to make of these scenes. Maybe I'm not paying enough attention, but this chapter really hid a bunch of stuff. I realized the whole Zella and Naia thing. I'm wondering what the significance of her saving Pikachu was. The flower shop and that conversation was interesting as well. And I'm not sure what job Link's planning on taking. This chapter was awesome and I can't wait to see where you're going with this!
"everyone her a crack"-Heard?
| Dominus Tenebrosus chapter 4 . 10/14/2012
I'm sort of left wondering who's doing the speaking again for this in the first couple lines. Though, if I'm to guess... D, then B.
Hm. How long, I wonder, has L been living here anyway? Heh. Guess quite a while, then.
Bar tab, or...?
Yeah, patience D. Getting the good cash is worth sticking around a bit. :P
So not as good cash as B was expecting, then? :P
Ahh, is that young!L?
Heh. Guess it must be.
Hmm... Bit of SPAG: "trying to grab onto beside them shook his head." There's something missing there, but I'm not quite sure what it is.
Massive crossover! Heh. Guess that's canon, though... So to speak.
Hmm, who felt a strange tingle? D, by context.
Ah. So that's what it was. ...Wait, so... Hmm. ...I guess that's how they alter these things? Hrm...
Yes, yes apparently he did.
Heh. Don't talk to strangers, eh? XD
"I'll take the rapists for 600, Alex." -faux Sean Connery
Ooh. So that's why they're there. Hrm. D, at a loss for words? Zounds!
Oh. Well that all went better than expected.
Heh. Subtext of that? "Get me out of here!"
Heh. And more snarking.
Again, I like the dynamic here. Good stuff.
Little more SPAG for you: "he zoned out himself when branch broke." -Missing "the," I think?
Let's do the time warp agaaaaaiiiiin! Heh. Guess D decided to take things into his own hands.
Heh. Reminders, eh? And hm. Why does he think D's rushing? I'm a bit confused a little.
Hmm... Separating the party. Rarely a good idea.
Hmm... Not really the place to be playing payback, honestly. I hope it is too, B.
Oh, that's curious... I have to admit, I was sort of wondering if that sort of thing happened often. Guess not, which... Huh. Kind of odd, thinking about it.
Hmm... Somehow, I suspect he and this 'case' are related.
Heh. Well at least we've named the girl in question. Hmm...
Hmm... Seems like those words hit close to home for B. Hmm...
Hmm... You know, this whole bit's weird. Not from a writing perspective or anything bad like that, it's just... Well, I'm positive it's an intentional weird. So, yeah. Mind you, it's probably slightly compounded by a lack of knowledge of canon, so... Yeah.
Heh. So maybe that's why they're there. Hm. Poor L, if so.
Hmm... That's all sort of ominous, isn't it? Sounds like it's morally dubious, whatever it is.
Heh. I guess understanding is a good thing, though understanding his frustration isn't the best thing to understand, I suspect.
Heh. Zinging him always makes him feel better, does it? :P
Ah, and here we have the end. Hmm... Sort of ominous chapter, really.
As always, I just love their dynamic. Though... Hm. D kind of was an ass there, just a bit. Though, heh, so was B. No harm done either way though, it seems.
That said, in response to your A/N, where exactly did you go? :P I don't get it, I'm afraid. XD Probably would get it if I knew the canon... Ah well.
Good stuff, either way. Me likey. :P
| IrishPanther chapter 1 . 10/13/2012
Nice way to start off this lovely story! Glad to see you're using some of my favorite characters from some of my personal favorite N64 games in Link (LoZ), along with Falco and Wolf (Starfox 64)! I'm pretty curious to see what occurs with Link and the TD machine; hopefully the guys won't screw up on this project! No grammatical errors were spotted while I read this, so excellent work on proofreading! I'll be waiting to read more in order to see what happens next!
| Dominus Tenebrosus chapter 3 . 10/13/2012
My first thought is, "Who's face?"
Ah, must be B's. Okay. I possibly should have caught onto that sooner, but I'm sort of tired tonight, and it's making me a little loopy in that regard.
Lotta readin's. Yeah, this isn't gonna be fun, is it?
Heh. I like their dynamic. It's sort of a wise guy and straight man thing, but I'm frequently confused which is which.
Hmm... The paragraph with the faceless figures was a bit confusing, I must admit. Read it twice and I'm still unsure if there are more than two of them or not.
Well, that answers that, aye. Hm. Stood up?
XD Yes, apparently at his own.
Ahh, snark to snark combat. I love it.
Heh. Man, L. Way to be an uplifting sort there.
Ah, I thought this was for L.
Heh. B. You know you keep those sorts of jokes up, D's going to tear your head off. XD
Man. He needs to take a chill pill, I think.
Yeah B. Keep that one to yourself around her, I think. XD
Heh. Man. L. You, just... Wow. I do _not_ want your advice on like, anything.
And you made him your best? Well. You'll get what you have coming to you, in that event. XD
Hmm... Well I missed the face too, for what it counts. :P
No, I'm sure you're at the right one. And B, you rib D so much, let D have his attitude eh?
...Well. That's a new development. Guess this might be why there's so many readin's here.
...Oh. So. Some personal connections. That's... Interesting.
Ah. Previous case. Heh. Sounds like that was a story in and of itself.
Yeah... Drunks at a thing like that... Not so good.
Crunchy L is crunchy.
Guys, just let him in there. I think he'll make short work of things. *nods*
Yeah, that'd have to be a bit aggravating.
Bit of SPAG for you: "from before had standing far away from the fray," -I'm pretty sure there's a word missing there, pretty sure.
Onto the next, I guess.
Well. I'm a bit surprised at the nature of this one, given that he's not entirely the focal point of it... Though I guess that end bit, yeah, I could see how that would really grind one's gears.
I feel I really should have better commentary on this, but sadly, right now that's all I can think of. Good stuff though. I quite enjoyed it. :)