|Reviews for Occupation Change|
| Guest chapter 1 . 6/23
Show, don't tell. Possibly the single piece of advice most often given to budding writers. You could have shown your OC's traits during the bell test, rather than just telling us about them.
| ColorfulRandomness chapter 11 . 3/16
My vote definitely goes to Kakashi! *cough* Anyways, awesome story! I found myself giggling over several scenes and loving how strong, yet flawed the protagonist is. This chapter made me feel sad...but it was good. Great job!
| JustKeepSmilingRainbows chapter 11 . 11/12/2015
Can't wait to read more.
| Guest chapter 11 . 8/14/2015
I hope her father and little brother is killed. Damn annoying assholes
| AyaValkyrie chapter 8 . 7/15/2015
I like your OC and your intermissions. Hope you continue.
| Selias chapter 5 . 6/12/2015
Giving them a test in teamwork doesn't work, when you TELL THEM THAT THEY NEED TO WORK TOGETHER.
| DulcetOwl chapter 11 . 5/13/2015
The end scene with Eri really resonates with me. As well as reminds me, well, of how I've dealt with my emotions behind closed doors. Being alone with your thoughts is probably the worst thing in the world, at least when you're out in the public your problems don't manifest themselves as openly. And it's a bad habit, 'specially when you have no one to open up to with these bottled up feelings. I think that you've achieved a lot with Eri's characterization with what you have, as well as making her relatable to the readers, at least on an emotional level.
I was a tiny bit skeptical with how you might have achieved replacing Kakashi as Team 7's teacher/mentor, but happily surprised nonetheless. While not being overwhelming dramatic, you've built a strong foundation that could make this a very interesting ride. Not that it isn't already, but it is still only the beginning.
So far, I can't really imagine the role that Eri's past (her first life's memories, in addition) and possibly the current unhealthy emotional issues she has might affect the team. Nonetheless how her presence will positively or neutrally/negatively derail the plot. It makes reading these chapters even more exciting, while anticipating what twist or turn you might take.
I recall Rin's worry of withdrawal signs from Eri when she becomes overwhelmed, mainly because it's unique-in the sense where most SI-OCs tend to fall into mindsets that rarely include heavy emotional handicaps or even ones that others might take concern with too. Well, in most cases if one is presented it is nipped in the bud or heavily buried by responsibilities(with hero-mentality), by physical adult-hood, or overcoming the weaknesses through sheer willpower. Though such is not the case with Eri right now. Who, as a seasoned adult Konoha shinobi, with an important position of mediator and now instructor to three 12-year-old genin, still has poor coping skills with her past(s) demons. Sounds like canon Kakashi, who faced a lot of obstacles-mainly himself-in the series.
Eri feels real, she's a character I would love to get to know more through your writing, as well as her relationships with the other characters. You've also have me rooting for her happiness, any romantic interests are pretty cool too, haha. So despite anything I might have missed to prove otherwise, I find this story worth reading and very much enjoyable. Hopefully you'll find some time to update this again! And curious for what you have in store for the future of this story.
Have an amazing day! :)
In terms of writing style, I suppose I don't have preference.
| xenocanaan chapter 11 . 4/17/2015
I can't wait for the next chapter!
| Lost chapter 3 . 4/9/2015
Some pretty basic new author mistakes. Have you considered posting on a fanfiction forum? The guys on dark lord potter are kinda dicks don't let the name fool you they have all kinds of fandoms and if you straight up say you know you need help they wont josh on you there are quite a few good authors even if some of them have questionable morals or tastes,Space battles has a creative writing board and so does Sufficient velocity jacobk gives constructive criticism frequently maybe you could ask him or one of the authors you like to betaor give a indepth review ? worst there going to do is say no or flame. There are other forums too the federation and hawks fanfiction forum reborn and some of the boards on this site for fanfics are more like online clubs gaberial blessing seemed to run a pretty friendly one.
| Enigma infinite chapter 11 . 4/2/2015
Your writing has change a bit but I like the current one better.
Visit tv tropes for references.
| Callian31 chapter 4 . 3/31/2015
Ok, I'm going to be honest. I don't like this. It's not because it's poorly written or anything. But, I don't think you should have the intermissions. I was starting to get into this story BECAUSE it didn't start out when the character was reborn. You got to guess and find out about their life AFTER it happened. I was having fun trying to figure out what all changed and getting bots and pieces of information at a time. What caught my interest in the story was that rose facts distinguished it from all the other stereotypical Self Inserts out there. Ok, let's say you couldn't have found a way to fit in a flashback of series of flashbacks throughout the story. You could have done it as a seperate story instead of some stupid intermission that interrupts the whole flow of the story. We got a cool and suspenseful ending but suddenly we're taking a break to learn some useless information about the past. It suddenly turns from a break in the norm to right back to being like EVERY SINGLE self insert story. Minus a few acceptations. I'm just going to ignore these and move on with the part of the story I care about and hope you remove these intermissions and put them in their own separate story. Other than that good Jo so far and I want her with Kakashi.
| Guest chapter 4 . 3/31/2015
AWESOME! Now I want more from the past lol before I saw the intermission I wanted to continue the storyline but I love how you did this chapter... And now I have to wait to read the next part :"( thanks for posting!
| Guest chapter 2 . 3/31/2015
AWESOME ! This is a completely different way to insert a character into the story. Was not expecting her to be team 7 sensei XD LOVE IT!
| xbox432 chapter 11 . 3/31/2015
Good chapter, nice to get some more background info on the OC. And I'm liking how the kids are coming together as a team in defense of their sensei. They've already become quite attached to her due to her treatment of them.
I have noticed that you keep writing "the Yoshida" every time you write her last name, if I remember right you even did so in prior chapters... though it's been a while since I read them and my memory might be wrong.
| Guest chapter 9 . 3/25/2015
Hum...I'm always to disappointed when I have to read her past after two chapters D,: Awh well, chapter away