|Reviews for Hiding Away|
| Trinity Pandora Kat chapter 3 . 10/7/2012
I lovr ur story although I think it is a bit rushed. What u could do since u already have the story written is u can rewrite it with more detail and take ur time with it. If u ever need help with ur stories dont hesitate to ask someone! I hope u take this into consideration cant wait to read more stories from u!
| Rainhealsme chapter 1 . 9/25/2012
Well this definitely has potential, but first, you need to work on your grammar and writing skills. Really, this was hard for me to understand, and I had to reread things more than once just to clarify, and that's not good. I suggest that you either revise your work or get a beta reader to help you.
Looking past that, I see one again, potential of a great fanfiction-writer. You have some really great ideas, but in order to get those ideas up and working straight, you'll need to work for it by improving your grammar. Detail-wise, I thought that could have a little more about why exactly your OC's parents keep her in the attic and more on her background as well as her family's back ground. However, as so as you got to the school scene, things seem to flow pretty smoothly. The time-skip is what really threw me off. Why did you insert it instead of taking the time to show the readers what happened during that time? It would have added more chapters and depths to the story instead of a bunch of plot-holes. I mean we didn't even get know how Castiel and your OC interacted around each or what their first date was like. One moment she's starting a new school, the next she's marrying Castiel...yes, we got to see their first meeting, but what about all the other things they've experienced together? What about the other characters? What about the parents back home who SHOULD be looking for their daughter?
And the frequent (I say this now because I assume you might switch from Castiel and your OC in the future) can be very confusing, so try to stick with either first-person or third-person observation when writing to avoid any unnecessary confusion.
Sorry...but as a fellow writer I thought it would only been fair if I was honest with you and made suggestions on how to improve your work since people have been nice enough to do the same for me. :/
Cheers! - xXKiraUzumakiXx