|Reviews for The Prince of Swords|
| Chocolate and caramel chapter 5 . 10/31/2012
I'm not usually a fan of Kiritoharem but something compels me into reading this. I love the characters buildups, enigma of the battle scenes and even focus on Argo! (who seems to fade away after the Lost Christmas episode)
question: was the guild PK-ed mentioned on the meeting Moonlit BlackCat? was sachi mentioned? or perhaps your way of introducing Sinon into the story ? can't wait for more.
| Keyzer chapter 5 . 10/30/2012
Another great chapter!
I really liked the tension between the guilds you showed. I like the small details u put in your fic like piña only liking silica and kirito. Small things like that bring a lot of originality to your fanfic. I'm curious as to who the person at the end was, but I'm guessing he's the leader of the pkers. Another thing I liked is how you added more ppl to the holy swords. It's funny that the two girls are too shy to be around kirito, and it certainly brings and interesting dynamic to the guild. I liked what u did with diabel, and I liked the tension you created with him. I'm looking forward to how kirito fares as the chief leader of the clearers. I liked how you picked floor 24 as the time of this leader crisis. It'll be interesting how they deal with the boss on floor 25. (bosses on 25, 50, 75 ect.) being more difficult and whatnot).
Overall great job! I'm looking forward to your next chapter xD
| The 10th Wand chapter 5 . 10/30/2012
hahaha Ankle Biter! Thatd be a terrible title to obtain.
| kubi chapter 5 . 10/30/2012
i shall await your next chapter with baited breath :D
| Zer000 chapter 5 . 10/29/2012
First and foremost, I want to say your complains about the length of your chapters are entirely unfounded. There is no such thing as "wordy" when it comes to a good literature. After all, delivering the vivid descriptions and describing the complicated action scenes requires a healthy number of words to pull it right and not feel "bare-bone". So, don't count the words, let them flow in a way that feels most natural to you, arrange them how you like the most. That works just awesome.
And this chapter proves this point, again. Opening description of a desert Floor where merciless scorching "sun" boils the nerves of Players, taxes their mental fortitude and leaves the patience dry sets a perfect mood for the account of the state of matters in The World, that in turn denotes the importance of the strategy meetings like one held now. A gathering of the best Players in the Game, with an appropriately majestic place to be held, is delivered superbly. Both the anxiety of a regular clearers raised by unusually early call for a meeting and their awe towards the Leaders, as well as the atmosphere of the big name politic meeting is captured perfectly. And the intros on said leaders... It was very nice to see how the fame of Royals have risen. The touch about fan-clubs was especially nice (and the implication of Argo raising fortunes on them, lol...). Other players also are quite a sight to behold. KoB, under the lead of ever-the-charismatic Heathcliff and, unsurprisingly if you think in retrospect, Diabel, with their knightly order, are good match for the royal atmosphere of our Swords. And DDA, with their less altruistic outlook and greater numbers - good contrast. This triumvirate is made very nicely indeed.
But one can't help but wonder about another force what was supposed to be very prominent around this point among the clearers in canon. What is the fate of the Army? Being created by the famous chief editor of a popular net MMO gaming portal "MMO today" to clear the game in organized fashion and only leaving this goal temporarily after suffering a great blow in the raid against infamous 25th floor boss in canon, as well as the force providing the order for "ones residing most below" as the caretakers of Black Iron Castle and jailer of Underprison, their presence would be expected to be noticeable there. This concern is strengthened by the matter of Red (not Orange, as repeated mass PK'ing would mark the perpetrator Red) players going on the killing spree among the midbies uncontested. Really, what happened to Army? Did the inspiring presence of The Prince spearheading the frontlines gave Thinker the sense it is safe to leave the matter of organizing the game in his hands?) And then what of Kibaou? His usurping the leadership of the Army somewhere in the future was one of the most prominent political events that affected the lives of lowbies back in first levels in canon's timeline.
Returning to the mentioned matter of PK, is it an opening notes for a future Laughing Coffin Crusade arc? (Well, even if in canon LC was created (and destroyed) only in 2024, nothing prevents ill-willed players to bump the schedule a little. Especially if Army really does not exist) Pitting Player versus Player, forcing heroes' hands to take the life of a foe, it could be the darkest hour of a Death Game... It is no surprise novels skipped that act. I wonder how would you manage this matter... But thats for the far-ish future. What matters now is a wise solution Kirito come up with for now. Still, without the Army to manage the Prison, how law enforcement system would work? Is there even any Prison to hold the criminals for life in this continuity? Another point of concern is the strength of Reds. While they may be less powerful than average clearer (but not by that large amount), their willingness to kill gives them substantial edge. Moreover, they hunt in pack. Hopefully, clearers would be fast enough to react on the signal of attack and be able to arrive before numbers overwhelm the lone clearer acting as a bait. Not like I don't expect causalities, to force heroes join the patrols...
Moving on, the issue of unified leadership. As expected, there are people who want to grab the power for themselves. Thirst for power, envy, I doubt even the current resolution would stop it. Or, maybe, /especially/ the current resolution? Being beaten, by a girl, won't it be seen as humiliation? Well, at least we don't have to worry about Heathcliff. Back in canon I thought half of the reason he stepped on the scene was to bolster the failing will of clearers and guide them to the intended path toward upper floors. Now, with Kirito leading the charge, he can simply enjoy the show from first row... Anyway, It could be interesting to see how situation would play out if Kirito's proposal of voting were to be accepted. Of course DDA have its numbers, but numbers of unaffiliated clearers should be pretty big. Their votes would be split between Knights and Royals (and some would goto DDA), and how they would be split, is the main question. Just imagine the full-blown election campaign running!)..
Moving on, it is good to see Klein, up to his usual humorous antics. Add the Argo, and bam, the real riot!
And, Rosy and Lily, hm? A cute little addition (twins... Blue hair is thanks to the similar dye Diabel is so fond of, I presume). And useful one as well, undoubtfully. Seeing how popular Argo is, for her to have someone less noticeable to gather info (and run the deals) is a great help. Judging by their reaction, girls themselves are living their own dream now, when they can serve the Master Kirito, lol. Now, just give them the maid uniform... Then I'd be very much afraid (well, in a good way *wink*) of what Argo would be teaching them ;) . Also, dense Kirito is dense. I guess, no matter how big your experience in interacting with girls is, there are things protagonist is just must to not be able to understand.
Finally the main threat: the to say, writing is superb, one can practically see the action as if one witnesses it firsthand. And so, Kirito taught his Outside System skill Weapon Break to Asuna, huh? Well, with her accuracy, it is a great fit. And Heathcliff not cheating? Awesome. Of course, he has no reason to wish to win the duel with Kirito no matter what, opposed to their canonical duel. And he is too good to risk being exposed that early. So they enjoyed the fair fight, with pure skills, where Kirito was better. I assume Heathcliff is yet to turn his Holy Sword on, am I right? Hm, maybe it will be the point where Kayaba decided to give Dual Blade to Kirito.
And very lastly, an ominous figure took a dark interest in the Prince's skills...
...It is not like we are expecting the cliffhanger to play out by now. Well, at least not immediately. Still, it looks like things are going to become even more interesting!
So, I am eagerly awaiting the continuation of your masterpiece. Good luck!
ЗЫ. And about the Omakes. I understand you copied first one as-is, but still. There *is* NO such thing as VIT primary stat in Aincrad. Maybe you should have edited this little point. Other than that, hilarious story. I thank Llama for it.
Your bonus is as great, even if shorter. Such endearing haremic situations are always a treat to see.
So, can I request a bonus scene showing how Silica tamed her Pina? ;)
| yahiro365 chapter 5 . 10/29/2012
simply EPIC! This chapter was a complete joy to read! Looking forward to the next one!
| TsubasaFan1230 chapter 5 . 10/29/2012
Kyaaaah! XD Kirito is so kakoi I love all the moments in this chapter! The battles were epic and the interaction among the characters were perfect! XD The omake were pretty cute too :3 especially the second one / Kirito is lucky and unlucky at the same time XD haha! You did a fabulous job on writing this long chapter! Dont hold yourself back from writing too much! Enjoy it XD
| shugokage chapter 5 . 10/29/2012
Wow this was a spectacular chapter with amazing duels and interesting background so thanks for the awesome update!
| Karl Skywalker chapter 5 . 10/29/2012
I am enjoying this wonderful story thus far :D The interactions between Kirito and the Girls, as well between the girls themselves are very interesting and well charactericized. I like how a small change in his past enable him to show more of his true potential earlier, and not just in SAO but in the Real World as well.
Not just the Royal Swords being a wonderful guide, I also enjoyed the time with the kids and Klein's group. I had to laugh at Klein, yet I have to admit I probably would react similar to him, lol. Speaking of Klein's group, at the time they almost look like a vassal of the Royal Swords, supporting the Royal Swords but not in their guild directly. I wonder if it is possible for that, or at least to be allied and collobrative guilds?
You mentioned Sinon. Does that mean she will be in SAO, or are you speaking of future? I just had a mental imagery of Sinon sniping at the monster with her archery skill. Anyway, I hope that you will also have Suguhu/Lyfa joining the Guild during ALO (or afterward) as I really enjoyed her interaction with Kirito in both your story and in canon. I have to admit she is one of my favorite girl after Asuna; that is not easy choice as I like all of the girls.
Looking forward for another update!
| nxkris chapter 5 . 10/29/2012
great chapter. i like that in this duel with heartcliff and kirito there wasnt usage of computer assistance so kirito was able to win the fight. also i love asuna's fight with her showing speed is far more useful that strength in a duel (though if their was no strength at all to help the speed it would have been closer to the omake with silica the 'ankle biter.) update soon.
| InTheYearOfTheCat chapter 2 . 10/29/2012
Some interesting things you could address in future chapters. Maybe Silica's friends from the orphanage would be mean and bully her because they're jealous that she gets to fight on the front lines and hang out with their hero and role model Kirito. Maybe as commander on the front lines of all the troops, Kirito has to make a decision to sacrifice some people from the KoB or DDA to save Asuna, Lizbeth, or Silica and the fallout he experiences from the call. Oh man that would be interesting.
| Kirito D. Kuro chapter 5 . 10/29/2012
Hey I got an idea after you described the DDA player's weapon. How about giving Kirito his own special blades . . . similar to the Heirloom Weapons used in World of Warcraft, look up the description, i know you won't be disappointed. They might be a tad powerful, but nevertheless they would suit him. As for the design of the blades . . .how about them looking like Aestus Estus . . .please look up that too, just the image . . .no description there.
Now, about your story . . . I have to say it is the best published story for SAO till date. Good characterizations, believable plot line, but an interlude with a Guild Quest should be something I would like to read. Anyway please take time to go over my suggestions.
Hoping you update soon . . . Cheers :)
| JinzoMask656 chapter 5 . 10/29/2012
Great epic chapter! I'm really surprised that Heathcliff didn't use system assist to save himself...but then that would be an early game over and all lol. Please keep it up and update soon. Thanks again for your hard work
| NobleBoss chapter 2 . 10/29/2012
Hey, your story is amazing so far. I know I'm late as you already have 5 chapters up, but I had to tell you. The way you work character emotions and the detail oriented descriptions are so moving. Your writing style is outstanding and I've learned a lot that I can improve on from just reading the first two chapters. Granted, your chapters are pretty long but to me, that's necessary for a work of art like your story! I'll R&R again soon!
| spazzgirl chapter 5 . 10/29/2012
Another wonderful chapter. I seriously love the fight between Asuna and Sansa. Though I was surprised to see Kirito and Heathcliff fighting so early bu I didn't mind. I loved how you didn't make Heathcliff in the duel against Kirito. I really wouldn't consider this chapter lengthy and trust me I've seen a lot lengthy chapters. After reading this chapter makes me wanna update Puroteje Kenshi XD.