|Reviews for One Tear for Me|
| Ibbonray chapter 23 . 3/29/2014
This was sweet, unique, and creative. Here I am thinking, 'it all makes sense now!' I never would have thought Seneca Crane would go to such extent to cause the rebellion, and loved how you outlined his creation of Cato, Clove, Thresh, and Finch's "characters."
You left me on the edge of my seat the entire time- except for when we figjred out Dr. Barium was Finch's father (in my perspective, it was a bit predictable, although tghat's probably because I've learnt to expect the unexpected). Besides that, this story is near perfection, with in-depth characters and wonderful plot. Beautifully done! It was lovely.
| JelloPeppers chapter 23 . 12/13/2013
Can you pleaseeee make a seaqel?
| Icie911 chapter 23 . 3/26/2013
Hmm... although this epilogue is not exactly what I expected, I suppose you DID finish it all up.
Eh, I guess I would have liked more of a story finishing; this seemed a little cold and such.
I guess everything does manage to tie up, eh? I think it's sad that Finch and the other never managed to break through and make Peeta and Katniss realize that they were hijacked. I guess it would've been too much for them to take.
Well, although I wasn't expecting it, I do quite like the ending of the last chapter, which is the official ending; and this epilogue, which just ties up the loose ends.
| Icie911 chapter 20 . 3/26/2013
OH EM GEE OMGG THIS CHAPTER ENDING... (Am I annoying you yet with my constant jabber? .) HOLY BEJEEBUS HE THINKS FINCH'S NAME IS FINN BUT BUT IT'S NOT AND AND... (takes a deep breath)
I forgot to mention this in my last review, but I like the character and humanization you gave Seneca. Really nice, and I always like seeing the human side to the 'evil guys.'
Anyways, I love the FinchxThresh moments- they're just too sweet. At first, I was a little awkward with the pairing and didn't know quite what to make of it, but this fluff is (I think) making me into a fan of that pairing... at least in your story.
Sorry, can't make this review too long, must find out about Finch! :O
| Icie911 chapter 19 . 3/26/2013
Ermagod. I so called this... HOW DID I KNOW THIS WAS GOING TO HAPPEN :O
I wonder though... the whole time period that Katniss and Peeta were actually underground, what did the Capitol show the citizens? It's not like they can pretend the Hunger Games were on pause...
Hm. Maybe they were already making scenes then? I guess that makes sense... I see...
Overall, this chapter was pretty riveting. I don't think I stopped once to look for any grammar errors or whatnot. And the part where clone!Cato snarls about Thresh not knowing Clove's name was chilling. Do you mind if sometime, randomly in the future, I use that? I plan on writing a few more HG ficlets, and I think that line would be pretty freakin' awesome. Of course, I'd credit you (but since my memories are failing at the young age of thirteen, maybe I'll forget -_-)... and if I didn't and you managed to see it, you could also PM or something and tell me that I should credit you and jazz like that...
Oh yeah, one last thing. Are you basing this off the movie? I'm fairly sure in the novel Thresh killed Clove with a large stone; in the movie I think he killed her by slamming her into the Cornucopia.
The next chapter is titled "Found..." I wonder what awaits me there... Ciao for now! :D
| Icie911 chapter 18 . 3/26/2013
I THINK I FOUND ANOTHER VISCOUS... just saying XD
Lol, maybe it's me but some of the chapters seem a little rushed; not the actual plotline, but more of the facct that there are quite a few careless errors.
Anyways, you always have great ideas, it's just that with a few tweaks, I think this story has real potential of becoming reallllllllyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy y (emphasis on really) awesome. Like... even though it's pretty darn good right now. XD
Oh, Haymitch, If you stopped drinking, you could maybe find someone. (Although I don't think there would ever be anyone besides Maysilee... if you're a supporter of that pairing.)
The ending... eh, it's a little crude, but fairly effective. I sense foreshadowing... and on to the next chapter..! :D
| Icie911 chapter 9 . 3/26/2013
"Thresh's voice has a depressed tome." (I'm back... annoyed yet? If you are, just tell me and I'll stop.) It's supposed to be "tone."
"Cato is out of the lake and following him, with clove on his heels." Tsk tsk, this is a really careless mistake... capitalize all names.
"'Well, that was really strange.' HE sighs..." You forgot to let go of Shift the second time... .
"...been taught that they are viscous." Um, viscous and vicious have two completely different meanings. And unless you mean that they are thick and adhesive, I'm pretty sure you mean "vicious."
I like the ending this time, because even though it's not particularly powerful, it DOES leave the reader thinking.
Oh yeah, one extra thing. Although Thresh is right- the Capitol won't be too interested in them currently because of the whole career thing going on- he wasn't sure that the Capitol was setting a scene for the citizens to watch because he didn't realize it until later (and killing Katniss WOULD allow time for some camera switches over to Thresh and Finch). Just a little eensy thing I wanted to say, although I'm pretty sure no camera picked up our Eleven's rebellious talk.
| Icie911 chapter 8 . 3/26/2013
And I am baack... from... (idk, the path of life?)
Sorry, I'm going to be here for more questions and possible connections .
Massive structures that none of us really knew what they were... " this is awkward phrasing- I think "Massive structures that none of us really recognized..." would be better. Just saying ._.
" A canon booms, loud and sharp. So the Careers have been hunting. Lacey's picture illuminates the sky." I'm almost absolutely sure the pictures do not illuminate immediately after death. The pictures only show at night, alongside the Capitol's anthem.
"So I know where David." I think you mean "So I know where David is."
"Except for Fire girl, who idiot Clove over here let get away with a knife." Both the F in Fire and the G in girl should be capitalized ('Fire Girl')
"But what could they possibly need." This is a minor mistake, but quite important. Should end with a question mark.
Also, once again, Finch seems to be able to get the apples fairly easily. Plus, it might've made more sense if she stole a few more supplies, especially food. She could always take a sparse handful of each, so that the Careers wouldn't notice. I guess the part about the mines set up around camp occurs later? (I guess that Finch's refusal to steal more could be jittery first time nerves. You know, grab a little and bolt, hopefully no one will catch you...)
Anyways, nice chapter overall! I would still check for spacing and grammatical errors; there are a few and I'd rather not point them all out (because it would make me annoying and I don't have time to copy and paste everything). Well, ciao for now! :P
| Icie911 chapter 7 . 3/26/2013
Hola, tis me again :3 So randomly, seven chapters in, I have decided to review.
Erm, did you know that some of your punctuation is a little iffy? Mostly it's when you use quotation marks, like with dialogue, for example. Another time I noticed was when you used italics for Finch's thoughts. All other mechanic seem fine, or at least the errors are decently unnoticeable.
Another thing. I'm not exactly sure if you planned on this, but I found it strange that Finch was able to not only find water, but also shelter within the first day of the Games. I mean, maybe it's luck, but two strokes of such luck kind of pushes it a little. It is, after all, the dreaded Hunger Games. Also, how does Finch know that there is only one stream? For all she knows (and we know Foxface is a clever girl), there could be multiple streams or rivers that flow eventually into the lake.
The last paragraph of this chapter also seems a bit careless and rushed. For example, the capitalization of 'Katniss' in the phrase "I decide it's Katniss." I would say that it should be 'katniss' because, as we know, the names of plants are generally in lower case letters. For example, 'pine tree' or 'rue' and 'primrose.' Same applies to bird species; you would call a bird a 'finch,' 'robin,' etc. whereas it would be Finch or Robin if it were someone's name. (I feel like I'm rambling...? Am I? Sorry.)
There's one careless mistake that pops out and is quite noticeable; "I take a bight of a tuber." It should be "bite," and it's an easily marked error. Also, although I get that the Bloodbath is quite an achievement to live with, I wouldn't exactly make Finch say "...you and I have made it this long." It's barely been a full day, correct?
The last line is nice, but has the potential to be more powerful than it is currently. I don't know, maybe you'd like to revise this chapter, but it's a decently good read as is :)
| Juliejustdance chapter 23 . 2/25/2013
this is amazing. How you think of this story I don't know but your just as smart as Finch to think of this. Truly amazing. Great job!
| Kraut007 chapter 23 . 1/30/2013
This story deserves way more love.
I like your character interpretation of Foxface, Tresh, Clove and Cato and that they survive
The POV of Finch is a good way to fill the gaps in the plot and show the things that Katniss didnt saw.
| Kraut007 chapter 23 . 1/29/2013
I love this story.
Not only that four of the most interesting tributes survive but you show all of them as normal human beings.
Many other stories have the tendency to show the careers as monsters or idiots.
You on the other hand bring upa valid point: Clove and Cato were trained for killing since they were small.
This makes them more pitiable then odious.
Finchs point ofview fills the gaps in the story and shows the events that Katniss doesnt notice.
Its great, how the nameless tributes from the other districtes got names, faces and personalities here.
Hell, you even managed to make Marvel likeabel!
The twist of the plot got me really by suprise, but its all plausible.
Would like to see a sequel of this.
Anyway this story deserves way more love.
| readwritereview chapter 1 . 1/29/2013
The last line was totally awesome! Like, WHAMBAMBAM. This is so sad, though. It's written very well, although I think the chapters are a bit chunky [I'm reading on a very small computer, so it's probably my fault.]
Poor Finch :(
Eh, I have school tomorrow and it's late. I'll read this soon :D
| GingerRavenclaw chapter 23 . 1/27/2013
It's over :( But what about Katniss and Peeta? Do they just end up the same as in the books? Did they ever realize that the others aren't dead?
| sarah0406 chapter 23 . 1/27/2013
Why must you finish your story like that? I was waiting for action, cliffhangers, confrontation... but no? Lol... And why would Andrea go back when she was already in Thirteen? I mean sure if you want to keep to the track, but why would she go back? Did they come and get her?