Reviews for Two Hearts Not Captured
Guest chapter 1 . 3/25/2016
I feel like Tk and Kari would be close enough to have this conversation without dancing around the issue. Kari doesn't seem to trust Tk (or herself for that matter) which I can't really understand considering how close they are. I personally found this a little too unbelievable. Japan doesn't use pennies so that particular saying would be pretty meaningless to Hikari and Takeru.
This was very well written even if it was a little too flashy.
Kira161 chapter 1 . 6/16/2009
The story was so good, but so... sad... D: I cannot give you any advise, because you are a much better writer than I. This piece actually made me cry.
MetallicBlueFrog chapter 1 . 2/4/2009
That was really sad. Though, I'm not so sure I understand what you intended. Why didn't she want to love him and try to push him towards someone else? And was he trying to tell her, using the story, that he loved her too? (I say 'too' because I assume he figured out what she was trying to say through her story.) Please give me answers! I need to know! Well, next time I read something from you, it had better be happy and they had better get together! So... _! heehee! I know, I'm nuts! (This is actually how I act with my friends and I feel like acting like this, so... deal with it! HEEHEE!) Bye!
Takerus Lost Angel chapter 1 . 2/26/2007
Aw sad Takari, and I'm not going to be one of those people who tell you to make a happy ending Takari. Not all Takari's are happy! Awesome work! I loved the story, keep up the awesome work! Until next time, keep writing!
Potgenie chapter 1 . 12/18/2006
this is just beautiful.
Shanice Miharu chapter 1 . 1/12/2005
wow... that's really a nice fic... i really love takari... Good luck!
Tori H chapter 1 . 8/1/2004
Wow. I don't know what else to say. Besides, nothing will sound as pretty as anything you just wrote. The story was absolutely beautiful. I loved what Kari said about tears. It certainly made me shed a few. I hope you continue writing as I would love to read any and all of your other works.
Sol Falling chapter 1 . 3/16/2004
This is one of my favorite stories. It conveys so many emotions and expresses the closeness of Takeru and Hikari's relationship very well. I also love the myth about Selene and Endymion; I actually didn't know it before reading this. The repetition really unifies the flow of the story, as well.
However, you failed. You didn't make me cry. It was a vague sense of sadness that I felt, and didn't really hit me on a closer level. However, this is one of the first stories that I read that I liked even without Hikari and Takeru getting together.
You should write more Takari's. Or, if you don't, please update.
And I recently posted the first chapter to my first fanfic, so I'd be honoured if you would review it. (Blatant review leeching here. I am despicable.)
Moonlit Rain chapter 1 . 1/31/2004
Very eloquent and beautiful. You really expressed Hikari's pain well, especially with the myth.
Illusjonerendelavprosessen chapter 1 . 1/5/2004
you made it... you are one of the first one but you actually made it. I'm crying my eyes out here!
AkaOkamiRyu chapter 1 . 5/6/2003
if crying was your aim your a master at the game. I'm crying silently and I don't cry at these things. Very good. Very
Seinaru Kibou no Tenshi chapter 1 . 11/7/2002
I do think Takeru said it best when he remarked you can be a novelist *and* a poet. This story proves it - it's poetry as prose and prose as poetry, and is incredibly elegant and graceful as a result. It does read like a highly stylised literary production, yet also has so much emotion beneath the surface and in the silences.

It also is about the power of stories - about how we use them to work through our own pain, to speak about the unspeakable and the unspoken. The choice of Selene and Endymion was absolutely perfect, especially the manner in which you changed it, the manner in which you had two readings working against each other. Stories may be lies and fantasies, but they are also truths and realities.

Simply superb.
Tracie chapter 1 . 10/19/2002
Your version of Takari is so absolutely right. I love your descriptions, especially Hikari at the window in the beginning and the tears being our souls condensed into moisture. Your brilliant writing has left me so dumbstruck that I can't say anything else bordering on coherent. _-

- Tracie
Completely Unaware Actual author on FF.Net chapter 1 . 10/18/2002
Wow, that was very nicely done. I loved the story they argued about; and how they kind of said what was needed to be said through that. Sad, that it didn't turn out; and I don't blame Hikari for crying for herself.
Ismini chapter 1 . 10/5/2002
Beautiful. Very.

There is no plot, but don't worry about the lack of it; you have originality, and that is even rarer. Situations and feelings described that brought me close to tears - me, close to tears - are enough to make the story enjoyable. Add the fact that you included a myth, and in such a way that it reflected Hikari's feelings and Takeru's optimism even in the hardest of times, I assure you that no plot is needed here.

Takeru is true to his personality. Light humor, understanding he shows in simple gestures, and always hopeful about the future.

Hikari... the way you picture Hikari is probably the most wonderful part about the story. I am not fond of the heavy scenes she gets in the series, and you show her character in such a subtle way... I think that you started the myth too abruptly, though, which is a bit OOC for Hikari, who rarely changes the subject.

Her relationship with Takeru is another magnificent part of the fanfic's. Their relationship's depth was visible in the series, and I can see them both being reluctant to take the step further, afraid that they would ruin a friendship that held strong for so many years. The emotions that would come from that hesitation would be a burden weighing on them, especially Hikari, and you pictured all that in the story.

The title is wonderful. If I thought hard, I think I could find one that fits better, but this is more than good enough for the fanfic.

Great use of vocabulary, with very few to no spelling mistakes. Grammar mistakes are there, but go unnoticed because of the tension the story creates.

The story's length is perfect too. Not too long, and certainly not too short.

I am not a big Takeru/Hikari fan, but fanfics like this remind me of what I like about the pairing. Thank you so much, this was a pleasure to read.

The readers' response highly disappoints me. My opinion of Takari has raised but my opinion of its fandom has dropped even lower.

Good luck with your future projects! (Jyoumi~!) (_;; Fangirl side took over)
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