Okay so far, but hard to read due to not notifying the reader well when perspective changes.

Hmmm first contact certainly didn't go too well, but at least it adds to the drama (and story respectively).

One thing I'd suggest is having a line break between the stargate/mass effect cutscenes just to make it a bit more clear. That is until they converge I suppose.

You certainly know how to create a scene, as well as characterisation. Those were two strong points I noticed.

As I always tell those who I review, it's always good to reread your work outloud that way you'll catch things you normally wouldn't otherwise.

Otherwise a great start! The stargate humans certainly don't waste time when being quite outnumbered, haha.

nice start hope for more soon.

really space hookers?

cool

this looks good but i have a question will the humans find the citadel omnitools

pretty good

like it

You need a lot more line breaks.

As it is now, there is no spacing between the lines, which makes it incredibly annoying to read, something that most readers won't bother with.

Other than that, it's a good story.

Okay this is pretty good, but you need to paragraph your sentences.

Also why would they attack the Turians; they have no idea how much damage a Turian ship could do, or how many ships they have, they also don't know why the Terminus ship was attacked. They don't know if the boarding craft have hostile intentions, they could be saving the people on the ship.

P.S 24 Ships vs 1 ship, nobody in their right mind would take those odds, especially without knowing how powerful they are. Even if they did have reinforcements close.

Not trying to be overly harsh, but you learn by criticism.

Awesome and Awesome.

Lol oh shit!

No offence dude, but you are making humans too aggressive here. I'm just saying, The people of stargate do not just open fire on unknowns