|Reviews for The Avengers of Literature and Beyond|
| sprinkles chapter 2 . 12/28/2013
I like it! Please keep writing, them I can evaluate it! (I only read the first three books of Artemis Fowl, so I don't get some references)
| Guest chapter 2 . 12/26/2013
| benjamin3 chapter 2 . 4/9/2013
Awesome, half of these Carichters I never heard of, but this is amazing, you have to finish
| Muse of Storytelling chapter 2 . 11/9/2012
The concept of this is amazing, a well done at this. I sincerely hope with my entire being that you continue this story. I like how you explained Arin's world in a way that makes sense.
| MentalDauntless42 chapter 1 . 10/10/2012
one sentence - I shall bow down to the greatness of your great writing skills...
Then rip your story to shreds, so I won't feel jealous anymore.. :P
Just kidding! Or am I?
| The Death Frisbee chapter 1 . 10/3/2012
There's a story in Ray Bradbury's Illustrated Man, 'The Exiles,' which you might like - it's about Shakespearean characters and horror novelists who have been exiled from Earth, which has been stripped of imagination. If you want to read another way this concept has been done in literature, it probably wouldn't hurt to give it a read.
It's an interesting concept. I don't know any of the verses you're writing about well enough to comment on canonicity, but I do know that the villains you've chosen have enough range that it's not going to be seven cloned villains, all the same. I haven't actually seen this done before, despite your worries that the concept isn't unique; it is as far as I am concerned.
Pace and tone are good; description is light but not too much so.
Seven is a good number of villains, because it's a classic fairytale number - just make sure you balance their 'face time,' if you will, in later chapters.
You describe your figure as 'it' and then 'he' - either stick to one or the other until he is identified.
The parentheticals towards the end feel a little awkward; I'd work them into the narrative instead of having them be long phrases of asides.
Hope this helps! SPAG follows.
SPAG (SPelling And Grammar):
face and features - same thing
night, it thought menacingly, as it ducked - needs comma, and space before 'it'
revenge, sweet revenge, against
snorted dismissively. As if - comma splice
Ah ha! - would standardize to Aha!
swore - D'Avrit isn't a curse that I know of. If so, clarify. If not, the 'curse' sentence needs to be a new one and not a dialogue tag.
A mass breakout, they would have - construction's a bit awkward. 'If there were a mass breakout,' maybe?
your soul, Batman
Mark my words, Snow White
Do you hear that, Molly Weasley? - direct addresses take commas before them, per the last 3 corrections
some things the figure wished he hadn't heard
XX89V, the figure
in half, and shards
| ReadingBlueWolf chapter 1 . 9/28/2012
It's an interesting start. I know the majority of the fics you're using so I'm pretty well versed in this. I think there's mystery in this that captures people. I also think there are a bunch of ways you could go with this so I'm interested to know which path you end up taking. For me, it's a little heavy on the A/N side and the R&R give it a chance in your summary is a bit of a turn off.
"They will never know what hit them, he thought, seven of the worst villains to exist in this universe... united! I will have this universe in a week! PopCultureVerse will burn to ashes..."
There should be Italics or ' around what he's thinking. It just seems like actions and comes across a bit odd.
I'll be keeping an eye out for this story to see where it goes.