Reviews for Tony's Hell
A chapter 1 . 2/17/2013
You're kind of all over the place with this story. My advice would be to really think about where you want the story to go, but also to read your story to yourself out loud. I swear that latter piece of advice really works. You have spots where I can't tell if time is supposed to have passed or not, and other issues of flow. For example, you write that Jarvis says Ms. Potts put out the fire, but then a couple lines later you have Tony being thankful that Pepper is in California. I can't tell whether there was a significant jump in time between pranks, or whether you made a continuity mistake. Proofread a little more before you write your next works (reading aloud really is a good way to do that).
Sargerogue chapter 1 . 10/1/2012
You got . more please.
Musical cake chapter 1 . 9/30/2012
Funny.
BloodyRosie chapter 1 . 9/30/2012
his life is going to be living hell if that's how they start off
they're going to get retaliation though
smile