|Reviews for Puella Magi Yūko Magica|
| Kyogre chapter 2 . 11/7/2016
You've probably heard this before, but Homura's name doesn't need the line over the "o" since it's not a long vowel. And you have it as "Yuuko" with a long yu in the title, but as "Yukko" with a small tsu at the top of the chapter.
| amimai002 chapter 18 . 8/6/2016
A very nice light hearted storry
| Xyzantylzethyrioses chapter 15 . 4/28/2015
I can't identify with the villains in this story.
The original universe's Kyubey was working to prolong the universe. He didn't really care that anyone got hurt, but yeah his methods were fairly humane other than making contracts without giving all the information. He didn't try to build up Madoka; since his memory was wiped in every reset, he was just trying to go for the best energy sources available (Madoka) each time. He wasn't planning ahead. He didn't set up Walpurgisnacht to make Homura go through the loops and build up Madoka; it was just there.
These villains have the emotional capacity to actually care about what they're doing, and seem to have an absurd amount of control over time and universes. Seems like they just want to be evil for the heck of it. Doesn't really make for an engaging conflict.
| Xyzantylzethyrioses chapter 11 . 4/27/2015
Shoes. Cool. Actually making the random useless enemies interesting.
| Xyzantylzethyrioses chapter 9 . 4/27/2015
Everyone seems much less OOC in this chapter. And non-English is mostly explained. Nice.
| Xyzantylzethyrioses chapter 8 . 4/27/2015
Appropriate character detail.
| Xyzantylzethyrioses chapter 7 . 4/27/2015
The heck? Healers are better in France?
Why can't Sayaka try to be friendly?
The elements stuff doesn't feel right. Maybe I'll like it eventually.
| Xyzantylzethyrioses chapter 6 . 4/27/2015
Well, let's see...
The multiple languages are rather distracting. Sure, Madoka Magika is originally Japanese and some Japanese words are familiar to many fans, but I can't the symbols and I'm sure most other readers can't either. If it's foreshadowing or subtitles, it seems pretty useless. If it's actually important... well, you can't copy-paste stuff from fanfiction, so that really sucks.
So far, the lore of the world is much less engaging to me than the original Madoka Magica universe, or even Madokami's universe or the post-Rebellion universe. Maybe it'll get better? Dunno. Some changes seem really unnecessary.
Wish coins... can't say I'm a fan.
Also, quite a few typos in this chapter (and maybe the previous one). They look like they were incorrectly "corrected" by some sort of spellcheck, so it's probably hard to find...
| Xyzantylzethyrioses chapter 4 . 4/27/2015
Still no completely sure how the wish worked out like this, but I suppose it'll make the story more interesting.
| Xyzantylzethyrioses chapter 1 . 4/27/2015
Ah yes, starting off with a REASONABLE wish, unlike Madoka's real wish to stop existing... So fulfilling... If you somehow make it backfire, I will be extremely surprised.
| tanithlipsky chapter 19 . 3/20/2015
| ThanosofTitan chapter 19 . 3/20/2015
Some tips for proofreading:
- Use spellcheck. There's one built in to the online editor
- Read your chapter over several times before posting it
- Get a beta reader
As for the chapter, I think the Evangelion character you were referring to is Kaworu. Also, I thought they were called ley lines. The ending was also fairly surprising.
Regarding the Internet, can't you buy an iPhone or something?
| the Oracle of Akemi chapter 19 . 3/19/2015
| ThanosofTitan chapter 18 . 3/19/2015
Kokubunji, eh? Any relation to Minoru?
The resort scene you're setting up sounds like it should be fun to see.
Also that last poem reminded me of the Green Lantern oath.
Looking forward to the next chapter, as always!
| Deltahalo241 chapter 18 . 3/19/2015
Nuuu! My MamiNagi ship is being hit by the iceberg known as men!