|Reviews for Skyrim Adventures: The Dragonborn of Prophecy|
| AlphaTheGriffin17 chapter 6 . 12/10/2012
Coming along well I see. Good to see Shadrin has a sense of honour regarding a man's life, even one he has never known and only fought beside. I shall look ahead to the final chapter and once more say well done for doing a good job with this one.
One thing I would say is to give us a better look into Shadrin's head. What's he feeling at the time? Does he contemplate or remember anything? What are his thoughts on it? These things help us establish a connection to him as a character and as such feel more sympathetic or likened towards him. This'll come with practice though and you're doing great so far.
| AlphaTheGriffin17 chapter 4 . 11/26/2012
Another excellent update, you truly are showing what you can do both with your character and your writing skills. Keep it up my friend
| oppasyeobo chapter 4 . 11/26/2012
I cannot BELIEVE how much you've improved over the course of four chapters! #mindblown
Great work, I hope you continue!
| AlphaTheGriffin17 chapter 3 . 11/23/2012
This is coming along very well I see. You've really made the improvements suggested to you and the story is much easier to read now. Keep up the good work and I await for more.
| Kythryl chapter 2 . 11/7/2012
Friend, your of to a good start, but please, split your text into more paragraphs. It is not fun trying to read giant blocks of text, like you currently have.
Also, every time a person talks, it is a new paragraph. This is sort of how it should look like.
"That looks like the way out! I knew we'd make it!"
Ralof was right. We finally came to a cave entrance thus a way out of those caverns and passages that all lead up to the Helgen keep. After we got out of the cave the dragon flew right above us and into the distance. We were lucky he didn't notice us.
"Hey Shad, thanks, I never would have made it out of there alive without your help," Ralof thanked me.
"Your welcome," I responded.
I hope you keep writing I'm very interested!
| AlphaTheGriffin17 chapter 1 . 11/5/2012
So far, this looks like it could be off to a pretty good start. You've given your character a good backstory, motivation and reason for why he's in Helgen. I don't have much love for what one would call nationalistic Nords, but maybe this guy will be different. I kind of like how he uses magic.
The only real problem I have concerns grammer. Apart from full stops, there are no breaks in sentences to speak of, no commas especially. I feel there should be more breaks in the paragraphing at least, just so that they don't look so... meaty, I suppose. Also, unless you're switching to a different scene, those graphological break lines are rather unecessary. You could just do a regular break and leave them out.
That's just me being a picky literature guy though. This looks like the set-up of a good story and I shall wait and see more of it. Good luck, my friend.
By the way, Sauron sends his best wishes and a few bad jokes I won't repeat here.