|Reviews for Sun's Heir, Death's Guardian|
| TheMysteriousPerson -0-'-0 chapter 14 . 2/20/2015
What kind a mess up knowledge were ou thinking trying to say naruto not strong enough to beat fish faceone heat beat pain 7years ago which had him ranked s and in that time frame he would have gotten stonger and the faact pain was the strongest of the group with the exception of obito
| LDK chapter 2 . 2/14/2015
I really liked the first chapter of this, and I love the way you crafted the plot to this story! Excellent meld of the two worlds! My problem with this story lies with Naruto's new personality. For me, I'm not a fan of changing a character so that they become completely different. Don't get me wrong, you do a great job writing the characters you are trying to keep IC like Apollo, but Naruto's new persona just wasn't for me. Thanks for writing this story, despite the fact that I will no longer read it from this point I still think your writing style is well developed and lovely to read:).
| The Struggling Warrior chapter 27 . 2/8/2015
Interesting tale you have told. Having Helios be connected to Naruto like that was an excellent twist. It effectively gave Naruto a fun 'god mode' to use.
I did expect something different from the title. Most of the story, while entertaining, didn't have Naruto do a whole lot to protect the children of Hades. I am impressed with the story, though, and the dedication you showed by finishing it. I look forward to reading the sequel.
Thank you for the story.
| mds777 chapter 1 . 1/13/2015
This is an interesting story even though I read reading sun's heir, death's guardian along with their sequels. Quick question, didn't the second hokage tobirama senju create the hiraishin? peace out. :)
| SkynardTLB chapter 27 . 1/13/2015
| Guest chapter 2 . 12/29/2014
Once, just once, I want to see a crossover fanfic in which the author can let go of their inherent bias and write a story which doesn't bash other characters, especially main characters, and instead focus on the plot of the story. Your Naruto is unlikable, Artemis and Apollo act more like anime characters than a Greek God and Goddess, and your humor is cliched and trite.
You barely spent any time at all in the Naruto-verse. You jumped forward several years, and didn't explain what had happened in the intervening time, and for what? Just so Naruto could make a cool guy appearance and kill Thorn? You couldn't even have him throwing kunai or shuriken, you had him using a bow and arrow. The best crossovers don't have one universe taking precedence or importance over the other, but a good combination of the two. Naruto might as well be a random Japanese OC that you threw in there as the son of Apollo, having nothing to do with his shinobi past.
The one character in this that maybe deserves to be bashed is Bianca. Without a second thought, she left her brother alone in the world, without a second thought she abandoned the only family she had. Percy may have had his faults, but one thing he had was loyalty and love. Bianca had neither.
| Sailor Pandabear chapter 27 . 12/20/2014
| Kaito Hatake Uchiha chapter 27 . 12/15/2014
Kaito is hungry wants to eat
| GriffonSpade chapter 7 . 12/9/2014
Ah, forgot a few things...Naruto's joke about not understanding Zoe was especially funny in light of her broken early-modern english.
6) Usually it's just the first verb that gets conjugated, not all of them (often times, just a helping or linking verb. This is the same in modern english but we only conjugate third person.)
Additionally, English is otherwise syntactically the same as it was then. (words, their spellings, and their meanings have changed a great deal though, but that's semantics mostly)
a few specific examples from last chapter:
How dost that...that...man continue to best me!?
man is the subject noun, and is thus third person singular present tense, meaning it should be /doth/, not dost.
"Milady, why didn't thou change that man into a jackolope?"
Thou is okay, since she's familiar to her hunters (even if they usually refer to her more respectfully), but 'change' should be 'changest'
"Thine name for thine tombstone before I end thine life!"
All 3 of these 'thine's should be 'thy', as they are all adjectival and all before a consonant syllable. (name, tombstone, and life)
"Thou art pushing thine luck, Uzumaki,"
should be 'thy' rather than 'thine'. (adjectival, before consonant syllable)
Phoebe and I shall meet thou then.
'thou' is in object position, should be 'thee'
She is the best tracker aside from myself and a much better healer than thou,"
again, 'thou' is in object position, and should be 'thee'.
| GriffonSpade chapter 6 . 12/9/2014
So far a good story, with one major exception. I know you have two sequels already, but Zoe sounds like a complete retard. Unless she's supposed to talk like she's just randomly conjugating -(e)st, and -(e)th endings on words and declining you/your/yours as thou/thy/thine irrespective of whether or not it's a subject, object, or before a vowel or consonant sound. It's extremely cringe-worthy to read, and needs fixing.
1) Thou is
a) Subject Pronoun (like he/she/I; only to be used as the subject of a sentence or clause)
b) Second Person (like you)
c) Singular AND disrespectful/familiar (To the extend that it instigated Quakers getting beaten decades after it fell out of use when they used 'thee' to refer to others. It should be used to people who you are deliberately disrespecting, such as an inferior, someone you're intimately familiar with[which is why it's used in the bible to refer to God], or people you don't like, and again, ALWAYS singular. Plural or Respectful will always be Ye(subject) or You (subject or object)
2) Thee is
a) Object Pronoun (like him/her/me; used as the (direct or indirect) object of a sentence or clause)
b) Second Person (like you)
c) See 1c) Plural or Respectful will always be You
3) Thy/Thine are the Singular, Unrespectful, Genitive(possessive) form of Thou/Thee
a) When used as an adjectival genitive, it transforms like the partical a/an (Thy before a consonant sound[including unaspirated 'H' words like helium], Thine before a vowel sound[including aspirated 'H' words like honor]. The pronunciation of the syllable is what's important, not necessarily the letter.) (like your/my/her) My/Mine do the same thing in early modern english
b) When used as a nominal genitive it is always Thine (like yours/mine/hers)
4) Conjugation of Verbs.
a) Like other Verbs, it depends on the SUBJECT, that is to say always Thou, never other forms. (thy/thine will be third person forms)
b) Regulars end in -(e)st
c) Some well known irregulars end in -t: were-wert (or was-wast); are-art; shall-shallt; will-willt
d) If it sounds really weird or is a tongue twister, it's probably irregular and it's up to you if you even want to conjugate it.
e) Even Past Tense forms are conjugated with -(e)st. (-edst, for example walkedst. May be pronounced as -edest)
5) -(e)th is an alternate form of -(e)s, and should be used as a direct replacement if you use it. (third person singular present tense)
| DCosmicSage38 chapter 5 . 12/7/2014
Naah! something tells me.. that i should hate thalia if he is going to be paired with naruto... Come on, many of the fanfictions that i read from the crossover of naruto and percy jackson is naruto pairing up with thalia.
| Eltyr chapter 5 . 11/23/2014
... Naruto's starting to sound like Neji...
| TheKaiSenpai chapter 2 . 11/6/2014
Ahh, the first chapter seemed really rushed...
| Lahmikhara chapter 27 . 10/20/2014
Loved the story, great job xD
| Dragontamer997 chapter 18 . 9/26/2014
You have a guy that knows Hirashin and could have appeared behind that root and slit his throat before the flash even vanished give up and let himself be taken when he knows his quest is super important? Not really buying it so I'm gonna have to assume its a plot hole.