Reviews for Mortality
The Almighty Mian chapter 1 . 3/28/2013
Oh, this is lovely. I loved it from beginning to end. Great job on this! Olive Specter is cray-cray, but you gave her so many dimensions here. Megusta.
Tune4Toons chapter 1 . 3/20/2013
Heh it's funny how you have such nonchalantness between her and the Reaper in the beginning. Like the Reaper, I'm actually surprised too that Olive wasn't scared. The format was really interesting, all these names of people who don't really matter too much, but their death means a step forward here. Olive scares me, yano haha, her behaviour; it makes her seem much more like the otherworldly one than the Reaper, so I like how you switched the roles of who feels more grounded and who feels godly almost until the end. While I wonder how exactly each person died, it's nice how you focused on the relationship between Olive and the Reaper. It's so simple, yet each action says a lot. Nice work! Cheers!

SunnyStorms chapter 1 . 2/13/2013
This was a fascinating read, and incidentally, also the first sims fanfiction I've read as I found you through the Reviews Lounge archives. I loved how you framed it by the different deaths. Each scene was short and the whole piece itself was compact but you packed really strong characterization into it, painting with just a few short strokes the psychopath nature of Olive, the emotions of the mute Grim Reaper, and the nature of their relationship. The ending was perfect and I also loved the second to last scene where you showed a bit of vulnerability in Olive that gave her an extra bit of depth. She's one messed up individual, but the way you wrote her made her chillingly interesting to read and that same characterization made her a believable match up to Death himself. I only noticed little spots here and there where a slight tweaking of phrasing might make it flow better; if you're looking to edit this at all, feel free to PM me for specifics. But overall, as it stands, this was a really interesting read. Great job.
Evangelina Amaryllis chapter 1 . 1/22/2013
I know I should be laughing, but it's actually pretty sweet. I'm the kind of person who finds it difficult taking The Sims seriously, but this one's done it. Very well done. Just remember to capitalize names. Also, it would be nice if you sort-of specified who everyone was (the people who died). Just a little bit of constructive criticism, but a very good job!
Anrheithwyr chapter 1 . 1/21/2013
I feel that a good story deserves a good review, so here's my best try:
First off,I really like this story. Um, really, really like it. I'm sure plenty of people have said that already-but it's true. It's morbid yet romantic, which is often very hard to do. Especially when it invovles Sims characters, because Sims is-in most people's eyes-not meant to be a morbid game. And yet-that IS what Sims is about-being so calmly morbid.
The whole point of Sims, Sims2, and Sims3 is that you are watching-controlling-people's lives and deaths. And, so, the fact that you have this alarming, almost chilling character that is already pretty creepy in-game...when you have her interacting with Death himself, well, that's pretty freaking weird. Yet, it is also so real, because Olive-you can feel emotion coming from her & from Death.
Most people like to portray their Sims as how they are in-game: useless & mindless & easily controlled. It takes, I feel, talent (real talent) to take a 'dumb simulation' & turn it into something real, something human. Because, in real life, people DO kill because of delusions or because they are OH-SO-MUCH in love. That's what is happening to Olive. She is falling in love with this man (never mind that it's Death) & she's going to go to any length to get him.
I usually don't like romance; I feel that romances are usually sappy & pointless, all leading up to either sex or disappointment. But, the fact that she is so concerned with keeping this man (Death) close to her-the EXTREMES she goes to-it goes beyond a love story, it goes beyond 'romance'. This a true passion, a true obsession that ends in her total demis. (Not including the demise of 20 or so others.)
The grammar was good & the plot was good. I feel that this certainly will make people think-it makes ME think. Because, as I said, (and as I'm sure you've noticed, since you did write this story) the Sims is about falling in love with a little image on the screen & watching it die. It's about realising that these little images-these Sims-represent real people & represent things we WISH we could do. (Certainly not saying you wish to kill people to meet with Death.) But, as simulations, we realise that these little images have their own lives in-game that we will never see. So we write & we imagine. And sometimes, we come up with something beautiful, something amazing.
And we call it fanfiction.
-Hope you appreciate my rambling, nonsensical review.-
Tiny Valkyrie chapter 1 . 1/13/2013
Wow. This was amazing. Subtle and sharp, just fantastic.
MessengerOfDreams chapter 1 . 11/10/2012
I'm glad I've stumbled upon your work, as you are honestly one of the best authors I've seen on this site.

First things first, story is definitely in the archive. (third one in, too, not bad.) Second off, what a marvelous, chilling, twisted, unique, excellently told little tale. I do love using the screenshot method to write- give a little glimpse that tells tales twenty times its size. You do this better than most anyone I've seen, with only 1300 words, letting us in on the relationship between the grim reaper and this twisted woman bit by bit.

And that's what I love- you don't let this campy premise go campy. You demand it go the other way with a perfectly logical idea: the Grim Reaper falls for someone who is fascinated by death and by killing. Olive, someone who seems so nonassuming otherwise but is in fact deeply psychopathic, is the perfect romantic interest for the grim reaper. She is a wild card element to the stoic Grim Reaper (also written incredibly well, props on giving him no dialogue because he speaks loudly without words) which makes their relationship so intricate and complicated without needing to expand.

Really, this is just marvelously crafted all around. I didn't know what to expect when I read this, but I'm pleased with the result.
MockingjayWithFangs chapter 1 . 11/3/2012
This was interesting, I how you developed the grim reaper and made him fall in love without it seeming cheesy or unrealistic.
The fact you kept saying who died was nice and the end was shocking and thought provoking.
Isn't a touch from the Grim Reaper fatal?
Olive Tree Hugger chapter 1 . 10/31/2012
SafeEyesOpen chapter 1 . 10/25/2012
This was well written, and rather interesting. I've never heard of a story like this, so bravo. It was well thought out and original, I liked it. Hats off,
Bilbisaurus chapter 1 . 10/14/2012
You used the prompts (or however you spell it) nicely. Even though I'm not a big fan of sim fanfics, I liked the way you portrayed the emotions or both grim and olive. The love and lust between them, combined with the forbidden lovers theme, was good. I liked it. Keep up the good work :)
Helicarriers chapter 1 . 10/14/2012
Wow! I liked how the story was formatted, with short sentences and small events that led to the ending; it seemed suitable for a story about the Grim Reaper - quiet, broken up, and blunt. I can't say much in regards to the fandom itself though, as I'm not all that familiar with the Sims. But I noticed how the names of the people who died were synonymous with the theme of the story - earl e. demise, for instance. I thought this was very clever, as was the inclusion of the meteorite.

Although the Grim Reaper didn't speak, his simplistic actions like shrugging (and even just doing nothing) elevated what we saw of his character. As for Olive, it was intriguing to read about how her experiences with death and killing affected her psyche, going from an initial fascination to… Fear, or maybe even guilt? And then her eventual death, not to mention the Reaper's position on it...

This was great.
Rainhealsme chapter 1 . 10/11/2012
Well, I've only played a Sims game once in my life, and this is the first time I've ever read a fanfiction about. Nevertheless, I shall try my best to give you a proper review on! Here goes;

This was a rather interesting twist to the usual upbeat Sims game. Aside from that, there are three words I would use to describe this story: dark, alluring, and lovely. The emphasis (the bold text) you added was really eye-catching to me. I'm not sure if it effected the other readers like it did to me, but I thought that it helped elevate the story. I'm also surprised that Grim didn't talk very much in this story. No, it wasn't a bad thing. It added a bit of mystery to the story, and I like that. Not only that, but I find your writing style to nice, simple, and clean. It makes me look forward to seeing what some of your other pieces of work are like.

See you in Review Tag! :) xXKiraUzumakiXx
I-Tried-To-Find-The-Sun chapter 1 . 10/8/2012
Wow... So intriguing! Love it :)
SoulightDaemon chapter 1 . 10/6/2012

Anyways, with that aside, this is absolutely amazing. I actually like the way you wrote it as a series of events leading to the outcome instead of a flowing story. It's interesting and, to be honest, I don't really care enough about her relations to the people she killed to mourn the lack of informative content because that's not the focus of the story. The focus is her genuine love growing for the Grim Reaper, and even having his kid! Go Olive! And her mind slowly deteriorating over time with each kill, slowly becoming totally insane... Absolutely amazing! Now with all THAT said, if you were to write about the intermediate happenings, I'd read it because this made me interested in it. If you don't, however, I don't feel at a loss for the lack of it. Great job with this story!

Also, did you actually have a character do this in-game? I know it's possible to have a ghost baby, so I don't see why someone couldn't try to have a relationship with the Grim Reaper in-game. That would actually be pretty freaking cool, and I so want to try it now :P
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