|Reviews for Growth, Maturity and a Slight Pinch of Ed|
| Luciu Splendente chapter 12 . 7/4/2015
I realise this review may be pointless since you don't plan on continuing this story (which is a crying shame, but I respect your decision and wish you the best for your future endeavours), but hope they may be of use all the same. I'm the "start with the bad news, then deliver the good" type, so with that in mind, here are my opinions:
To begin with, my only true problem I have with this story: The frequent lapses in spelling and grammar. Granted, the mistakes you make certainly don't render the story unreadable, and they're quite minor compared to many authors I've come across on this site. The spelling side of things seems to be fine save for a few minor mistakes- the type that even the most "grammar-savvy" authors on this site still make due to human error- for the most part. The only true common spelling error you make is not capitalising some pronouns (such as names of things or locations; I think one example of this was Mentis, which is a name of a lolly and an obvious allusion to Mentos you created).
As for the grammar side of things, your usage of punctuation is correct, however, you seem to forget or neglect to add punctuation at the end of dialogue and descriptive sentences. This happens more than just once or twice, so I'm chalking this to three possibilities: A) FanFiction has trouble rendering certain characters you type because of the word-processing software you use, B) You're not completely familiar with punctuation rules or C) You simply forgot/forget to proof-read or you don't do so altogether. My advice would be to proof-read twice; once after you finished the chapter and once a day later (when you are less tired/sick of writing and are more likely to be attentive), or get a Beta-reader. I hope I don't sound condescending, as I enjoyed this story and just want to be helpful.
What I like about this story are points that BarthVader and KiltedEngineer covered nicely in their reviews (they've beaten me to the punch), so perhaps many of my opinions will overlap with theirs and may be repetitive. Sorry about that.
First of all, I completely agree with BarthVader: It's great that you actually put proper thought into why you like Edd x Marie, and why you think they work. Moreover, HOW you think they could work or could be made to work... CONVINCINGLY. This is something many fans seem to neglect, and this type of "shipping behaviour" is definitely not limited to the Ed, Edd n Eddy fandom. Too often, pairings are picked for aesthetics or very face value traits and observations about the characters' behaviours, personalities and/or actions. From what I've come across, it seems like the average fan of Edd x Marie basically like the pairing for reasons that mostly boil down to "awesome cuz their enemies and polar oppositez lol! Good boi x bad gal for da win!"
Also, given how long you initially planned this story to be, it's great that Marie (or Edd) didn't undergo rapid changes. It's too easy to just use Edd's "Incorruptible Goody-Goodiness (TM)" to make Marie see the error of her ways, change, and live happily ever after. While I get that people get excited with their work and just want to hurry up to the "interesting romance parts", a good story has a believable pace of development... Which you clearly knew how to convey. Moreover, while Edd x Marie is the centrepiece, you didn't neglect the other characters, too. It would have been interesting to see exactly how you planned to pan it all out, but what can be done?
Speaking of the characters, I never got the urge to close my tab since everyone was in character. OOC is so common on FanFiction that it just makes my head go into a spin... Additionally, it's good that you didn't resort to shallow characterisations (like making Lee totally evil or May incapable of saying anything but dumb shit).
Overall, as I mentioned before, I really enjoyed this story and would recommend any Ed, Edd n Eddy fan to check it out, unless they really, really, REALLY loathe Edd x Marie and cannot possibly look past the pairing.
| Guest chapter 12 . 5/13/2015
Excellent writing a good story development so far. The character's personalities were unique in there own way and easy to relate to. The entire story so far seems incomplete, but that's because it is. I'm sure if you did end up continuing, you be granted the opportunity to develop your character personalities further. I was impressed at how well the story was written and the overall sentence structure. You have a very fine skill with grammar and pronounciation, and I look forward to reading more of your liturature. It is a real shame you were unable to continue the story, as it has a good potential to rwally relate to the readers and tug at their heart strings. Well done. Thanks.
| Guest chapter 12 . 3/22/2015
You are a sack of shit. Why did you make this if you had no intention to finish it. You ruined everything. I hope your life goes to shit
| Guest chapter 12 . 3/15/2015
Bummer. Too bad you won't be able to continue with this, but quite understandable I guess. If there's one thing I like what you did despite not even getting to half the story, you gave us an idea on how it will play along. I think this would have been the greatest cliffhanger for marie and edd's relationship whether they do go on or not. But yeah, it sounded very promising. Oh well, good luck with your chosen path in life now. Wish you all the best. :)
| Guest chapter 12 . 3/9/2015
Sad that you didn't finish this, but at least you gave us how it ended. As for Pacifica, yeah now I have that pairing stuck in my head.
| BarthVader chapter 12 . 3/9/2015
I was repeatedly told I can't speak for the whole fandom, but now I believe that I speak for at least a noticeable chunk of the Edd/Marie supporters: "Growth...", or what you have managed to write of it, was great. It was one of the first Edd/Marie fics that I've read that didn't make me go "did that guy watched the show?". It stood out in the crowd. I'm genuinely saddened that this is the end of it, but I understand your decision and hope to see more from you in the future.
Those may be too big words given what in the end we are referring to, but I salute you.
| Psaro chapter 11 . 7/21/2014
is this story dead, please tell me it isn't
| Demhouser3D chapter 11 . 3/11/2014
Plz update, I love this story.
| Lewis-Sama chapter 11 . 1/1/2014
Cool story, hope you update soon.
| Randamwriter chapter 11 . 12/8/2013
I want to hear more of the story and can't wait for the next chapter
| FamousLastLines chapter 11 . 12/1/2013
Oh, this has to be one of best put together EddxMarie fics out there. I admire that you're keeping things in character and arent rushing or forcing romance. It's funny, awakward, surprising... What can I say? I'm super excited for the next installment! I'm feeling inspireds after reading this. Keep up the rad work.
| InfiniteReader chapter 13 . 11/26/2013
Great story :)
| PhoenixVersion1 chapter 13 . 11/25/2013
Don't remove your first chapter. My reasons why are as follows: It's your story. If you are truly unhappy with it, then revise it until you are happy with it. Writing is like a time capsule of sorts. You get to see what your writing skills were like back then, how much they have improved since then, what state of mind you were in, and/or what you were trying to convey.
The Kanker sisters as younger children I'm still getting used to, but I'm looking forward to see what else you've got in store. Keep at it! :-)
| Alabaster Jones chapter 12 . 11/24/2013
Good authors that develop the Kankers well are hard to come by, and you are one of them. This chapter was a nice continuation of the story, short, yet a great update non the less. I would also like to say that Barth Vaders work is quite great as well...even though he constantly criticises my work negatively and I dont always agree with his disposition in many readers reviews threads haha (no worries!)
Anyway, the reason Bad Girls with Big Hearts is no longer on the site is because I do not condone this "slash" bullshit at all whatsoever, and will have nothing to do with this section of fanfiction if this is what EEnE has been reduced to. I made this statement awhile ago and didnt stick with it, but now I am getting out of here until further notice.
| PhoenixVersion1 chapter 12 . 11/24/2013
I have a big problem with this chapter!
...it's too short. Lol
I'm always interested to see where you're taking the story, so please update soon!