Reviews for Privileged Transfer Students
Amelie Nockturne chapter 1 . 10/29/2012
Dumbledore's pheonix is spelled Fawkes, not Faux (which is pronounced like foe). But I can't wait to see where this story goes- lots of potential!
yukixzerovk chapter 1 . 10/28/2012
:O I like this. I wonder how everything will work out o.o
CallMeSoldier chapter 1 . 10/7/2012
Wow, I like this. It's a little short, but that's the beginning, no? lol. Great job on this chapter, and I can't wait to read more. Great grammar and spelling. But for the dialog, use a comma to separate the dialog and the clauses. Do you know what I mean?
i.e. When someone is talking, put a comma instead of a full stop (a period). The dialog and the person talking aren't in two sentences. They're still one sentence. Example: "Hello." She said. That takes away from the desired effect of the fluidity of the story.
"Hello," she said. Doesn't that look better? Does it sound better in your head?
I don't want this to sound rude; it's just that this story is so well written, this little mistake takes away from it. I hope you don't take this as a flame. This is a great story, and I can't wait for more. :D
P.S. I'm just too lazy to log in, so that's my username. Feel free to PM me if you want to scream at me for sounding so rude.
Origami Lotus chapter 1 . 10/8/2012
Awsome begining! Love this story so far!...I'm sorry but kanda has navy blue hair...
Sonnenfrost chapter 1 . 10/6/2012
It is a nice beginning with many open options. You have to decide which year this story will play and also if you allow the group magical powers. After all innocence is kind of like magic. And at least Allen was born with it.