|Reviews for Moonlight|
| Bonnaroo chapter 3 . 11/3/2012
This is fantastic! Great framing device idea with Xan retelling the story to his son, and the detail of his torment with Mulahey and his imprisonment is quite well written and enthralling to read about. I like that you don't drawl out the events, and the way you have written post BG Xan is pretty spot on in my opinion. Great job!
| Akili-chan chapter 1 . 10/8/2012
Good start! It's always kind of weird to see Xan not going "Doooooooooom" all the time but he's an adorable father in this.
| Blue-Inked Frost chapter 1 . 10/7/2012
Good to see this fic! An intriguing start. :) I haven't played the mod, but I like Xan. With a baby involved and a story not over yet, I wonder if the premise is that Charname took time off to have a baby between SoA and Throne of Bhaal - which would be interesting.
Typos - "A cool summer breezes blows" (breeze), and tense issues in your first few paragraphs - you start in present tense (blows, breaks, stirs) and then switch to past tense for the rest of the story(walked, began, stared). Some missing commas: " a male voice says gently touching her shoulder" (between 'gently' and 'touching'); "Now what's wrong little one?" (between 'wrong' and 'little one'); "Lovely aren't they?" (between 'lovely' and 'aren't'). Not all rules about commas are firmly set, but they can add a lot of clarity to sentences with multiple clauses. Also, when addressing someone, a comma's generally used before the epithet or name. "What's wrong, Eleanor?" "What's up, my dear friend?"
I hope to read more of this story. :) Good start!