|Reviews for After the Fall|
| NeoMiniTails chapter 7 . 4/21
Mrs. Hudson had put tinsel on Sherlock’s grave. - Tinsel, as in something flamboyant? Lol, if so, that is hilarious... it’s funny because I can imagine her doing something like that and not being anything bad by it.
“he paid Sherlock back for his dickery last christmas too.” - I like this reference to the episode where he’d been such a jerk upon seeing Molly’s gift on christmas. It’s also a nice way to set the tone a bit different from the sadness that has been the last few chapters.
“he’d started giggling about it.” - I like these kinds of moments in stories where angst is such a big thing. What helps here, especially, is because John imagining how Sherlock couldn’t do anything about it. These moments happen where the pain is just a little less because of certain situations that come about. My grandma died last year in February and though I’m still quite sad, there are some moments where I think of what she’d do in a situation, and it’s hilarious... moments that I would never see, and moments that didn’t seem like much when she was alive.
“It’s.. nice having someone around.” - This entire scene is very much in-character, and I like this line because it really shows John as developing in your story... he’s no longer closed in, and being around Molly is helping him deal. Those five words made me smile.
“showing absolutely no signs of leaving.” - Mwhahaha... that made me chuckle just a bit...
“she’d done so without “but”, “um,” or “well.” - Not sure if I wrote that correctly, but there’s definitely been a bit of development between the two of them, and I like that you didn’t have her ask in an obnoxiously shy way when he’d practically been living there for two weeks.
“give you the GPS coordinates on my phone.” - LOL! The funny thing is if he had an Iphone, and she did too... if they had “Find My Friend” App and they have “location services” on then she could figure it out on her own.
“They, um, “ he explained... - This sort of is confusing, and for a moment, I thought John was speaking rather than Greg...You don’t have to, but instead of putting a pronoun, I’d use his actual name to make it clear who who was talking.
“Toby had tried to climb on John’s lap again, but John wasn’t having any cat on his lap while he had company over” - Very cat and masculine interaction here... no man would like for company to see them getting comfortable with an animal like a cat... for some reason, we inexplicably view it as feminine. lol.
“and they especially don’t take him on their dates.” - I really like this line. It fits the characterization of Lestrade and also because the two are either in denial or confused about their own relationship and he being there just sorta gives an answer. lol.
“He wasn’t quite sure how it happened, but he felt that, somehow, he’d asked Molly out that night. And been rejected.” - A very powerful line, and a wonderful way to end the chapter.
I really enjoyed the chapter. I especially enjoyed Harry’s parts, the person that I’d had originally a hard time dealing with. Her character is fleshed out, and I love the difference in her interaction with John (as her brother) and with other people - like Molly.
The entire chapter was well-done and possibly my favorite chapter. Another thing that I liked about this chapter was that it didn’t focus on John’s sadness or on his thoughts on Sherlock but more on the slowly budding relationship between Molly and John.
Until Next Time,
| Graveofthefireflies chapter 18 . 4/20
It’s interesting that John jumped to a conclusion that Liam was under influence and in fact an alcoholic when he could not smell alcohol on him. Very unusual. Lestrade is right to be wondering about that.
I like the way you describe his interrogation techniques. Subtle little things like playing with the pen. Then there is Donovan playing the ‘good cap’. Her natural talents are clearly on the other side of the routine but she seems to be doing a good job.
The exchange between Lestrade and John is again very well written. They are both in character and there is a lot of emotion there. Lestrade is clearly on edge and John responds really well to that. You write the ‘doctor mode’ in a very realistic way.
Dead people had a tendency to stay that way – with a notable exception. In a way I’m slightly disappointed that this story came to the end and Sherlock didn’t return but there is still hope as there is a sequel.
The whole scene at the airport is just ‘wow’. It’s amazing how this chapter resonates with His Last Vow considering that it was written well before that episode aired. It’s like a premonition of sorts.
I really like this line: Mycroft noted the twinge of anxiety in Sherlock's voice, and felt its answer in his own chest. It emphasizes that they are much closer than they would let anyone believe.
| Graveofthefireflies chapter 17 . 4/19
My partner likes to drop on me at work like that. There is nothing better than being fast bleeped only to discover that it’s dinner delivery rather than yet another emergency.
Real-wife business- that’s about sums it up. Molly is definitely a long term relationship material. I hope that John’s trust issues are not going to get in the way and that he isn’t going to run a mile this time. He deserves a bit of peaceful domestic bliss like that.
These days there is no guarantee that even an ambulance case is going to be a genuine emergency. The number of people who dial 999 for silly stuff and demand to be taken to hospital is quite shocking. At least this time John was not disappointed.
The interaction between Sherlock and Mycroft is perfectly in character as usual. You can palpate the tensions running very high there from the dialogue. Mycroft heard a sharp crack, and felt the sting in his right hand, before he even realised that he'd backhanded his brother across the face. I can picture that scene in my mind. Mycroft a bit surprised with himself after he allowed for such a demonstration of his anger and his own anxieties.
Afghanistan or Iraq?- Great reference to canon.
The pace is picking up in this story. After a very slow build up all the loose ends are now being tidied up.
| Graveofthefireflies chapter 16 . 4/19
The opening of this chapter made me lough so hard. It resonated with me perfectly. There is nothing that can compare to AE shifts and the power naps in the linen cupboard (a bit kinder on the back then utility cupboard).
I think that AE is a much more natural environment for John then general practice. It’s true that there isn’t that much major trauma going through our emergency departments and the bulk of work is medical including minor ailments that could be treated at home but it still better for adrenaline junkie then GP land. I like to see him working there in your story.
John’s observations about Molly are really well written. It gives a very good impression of how his feelings changed over time. I quite liked that after the very slow build-up of this story Molly comes up with the idea that they should start sleeping with each other somewhat suddenly and out of the blue. It shows that she has grown as a character and has a bit more self-confidence to assert herself and get what she wants. What is really funny about this scene is how Toby pops up for a brief moment just to lighten the mood a bit.
Your bedroom scene is perfect. It’s so natural and you capture the awkwardness perfectly. I really liked the idea of John writing on her back. That was really sweet.
| SunshineFromMyHeart chapter 3 . 4/13
I do not watch the show Sherlock, but I love procedural shows, we’re finally getting into the story and this chapter is my favorite so far.
The first part was good but it was a bit lacking for me: I added that I don’t watch the show because I felt that’s the reason why; I missed a bit of atmosphere/ description of the morgue. There was no reference to the smell, the colors,… I understand we were supposed to be in Lestrade shoes whom must be blasé about it but still.
Also a physical description of Miles and Anderson would have been nice. Maybe because I have a very vague idea of how the others look in their various embodiment it wasn’t really unsettling, but for them I wish I had a succinct description.
On the other hand, the characterization is always on point. The various Lestrade-Miles / Lestrade-Anderson interactions help to shape their character and give a glimpse into their relationship. Especially the Lestrade – Anderson’s one.
“Spread eagled on his back … fingers removed at the second joint…”
Other than that, the description of the mutilated body gave enough to make me cringe but without lingering to much and falling on the gore side, which I appreciated.
“Yes Lestrade reflected … on for months.”
The paragraph where Lestrade admits to himself that Sherlock is an important piece of a well-oiled mechanism in their team was nice.
Onto the second part, I thoroughly enjoyed John and his sister’s interactions. I thought that Harry not being static in the apartment going to/opening/closing with her hips the fridge, making coffee while discussing gave rhythm and realism to the scene. Having her background was nice, but like the other new characters, I would also have liked a bit of physical description.
| SunshineFromMyHeart chapter 2 . 4/9
Happy I got to tag you again.
I love the little hint of humor you insert here and there, like this sentence “… and Old Douglas in the opposite corner looked like he was going to go ahead and have that stroke he’d been threatening for the past 20 years.”
My favorite paragraph of the chapter is the Mondays one, I remember you wrote a similar paragraph using the days of the week in the previous chapter; and I like that you did it again here. Especially since it is Lestrade’s part: it has a very testimony feel to it.
My only nitpick is Sherlock going out without any disguise when he is supposed to be laying low to avoid another murder attempt, but the comparison to Charlie Chaplin made me smile; it was my first Robert DJr movie.
The use of the analogy corpse/rotten flowers is beautiful and perfect, in the sense that I doubt anyone really know the smell of a rotten corpse; but we’ve all smelled rotten flowers.
Beautiful ending. The handwritten note killed me; I cannot wait for these two to be reunited again. It confused me a bit though, did Watson leave the note because he suspected Sherlock might be alive? Or was it just a meaningful gesture? Anyhow, Sherlock knows him so much he knew where to go instantly.
| hiddenhibernian chapter 19 . 4/6
Ohohoh - Mycroft has gone as well! Now that was unexpected, how will the British government cope...
It's an interesting turnaround, Molly having to deal with Sherlock possibly being dead, after watching John grieving for him for so long.
I loved the last part, Molly fearlessly beating down the halls of the Diogenes club in search for Mycroft, and the description of Linwood. In my head the Holmes brothers are posher-than-thou; their parents in canon just don't make sense to me. An ancestral mansion seems much more plausible.
On to Lazarus so; really looking forward to it!
| Graveofthefireflies chapter 15 . 4/6
I really liked this chapter. On the surface nothing much happens but it is a very interesting study into a relationship between parents and their growing up children. I enjoyed your portrayal of Lestrade as a father and the way you build up Heyle’s character. She is clearly her father’s daughter and they bounce off each other perfectly. At the same time she clearly takes from her mother as well, which I think can be fuelling the conflict between her and her dad.
Matthew is also a very interesting character. He is clearly very talented and has a lot of imagination. I don’t want to be reading too much into the subject of his painting as it may be simply an art course assignment but one would suspect that he may be struggling to come to terms with his parents’ divorce and the conflict between them.
There are some cracking lines in this chapter. Probably my favourite:
"Well our name is Lestrade." - great opening to the little discussion he had with his daughter about how ‘French’ they really are. All humorous but at the same time it fits with the overall theme of what we inherit from our ancestors.
“Lestrade loved his children even when they were pissing him off”- sums up perfectly the relationship that most parents have with their teenage kids.
| MissScorp chapter 18 . 4/5
Hello there! Argh, one more chapter to go and I’m at the end! Noooo! This has been a helluva ride from start to now and I’ve greatly enjoyed it—don’t know if I’ve conveyed that enough heh
Oh, God, this here: ((If ever a remark drove DI Lestrade up the wall, it was no followed by comment.)) fits me to an absolute T. I really connected with Lestrade because of how much I HATE when I ask a question or am trying to help someone through a situation they are struggling with and they reply “no comment.” It just drives me absolutely bonkers.
Seriously got a chuckle at how you phrased this line: ((sober enough to be interviewed.)). In my head I did these little finger quotations around “sober enough” because that is exactly how it reads in my head. I think this was a great way to keep things slow and light before embroiling the reader into the heart of the story itself. You let them breathe, let them processed what they’d taken in from the chapter before and absorb that material before offering them the next dose.
Great use of the olfactory here: ((Rancid body odour and stale tobacco emanated off him, with no hint of alcohol.)). You build up this image in the head that this Newell is some despot, who has been living on the streets, is down on his luck, and is just some ordinary old bum. Yet, at the same time, there’s also this underlying feeling that this is not the entire ‘story.’ Really love how you only give us so much of the information and allow us to read between the lines. It makes the story more interactive for me and allows me to draw my own conclusions and form my own thoughts rather than be told how I should be thinking or feeling.
Good showing of Lestrade as the DI here: ((They always stank of alcohol. They sweated it from every pore.)). He’s calling on his experience, on what he knows and what he’s witnessed and is connecting that there is not something right about this ‘drunk.’ This ‘drunk’ doesn’t smell of booze. He’s not ‘sweating booze’ from his every pore. He doesn’t look like an alcoholic. Lestrade is seeing this, he’s connecting this and realizing that something more is going on, but he doesn’t know what. Not yet, at least. In this way, with how you are doing this, you are reminding readers that Lestrade is just as good at his job as Sherlock is at his. The only difference is that Lestrade is expected to follow certain procedures and protocol… Sherlock, well… not so much :p
Oho, good showing of police tactics here: ((Click-click. Click. Click-click.)). We all have heard the stories or watched shows like L&O and how perps talk about the heat turned up to make them sweat/turned down to make them freeze, the chair with the one leg that is shorter than the others, the intimidation tactics, the scare tactics, etc. This is a great one to show that Lestrade is not above using psychological tactics to get at the heart of the matter.
I thought this entire section which started with this line here: ((Not for the first or last time, Lestrade longed to have Sherlock Holmes on hand.)) was really a powerful one. You show how strong Lestrade is and how much he knows his procedures, his protocol and how to do his job effectively, but that he is not above wishing to utilize different means in order to get at the heart of the truth. That he compares those means to someone like Sherlock really showcases how much he values the fact that Sherlock is not bound by the same things he is and can accomplish what he cannot.
Hrm, this line here: ((He was leaning against the back of the chair - something he rarely did - and smoking a cigarette.)) is very foreboding for me. It’s almost a ‘tell’ in that it is clearly saying that something is about to occur and that whatever it is, actually is something capable of ruffling the feathers of Mycroft.
Really like how here: ((Mycroft noted the twinge of anxiety in Sherlock's voice, and felt its answer in his own chest.)) you showcase that Mycroft and Sherlock are actually a lot closer than what the show allows you to believe. They always seem to be at odds with each other, always locked in some contest with the other, but at the core of it all, they are really very dependent upon the other.
Ha, again, you showcase just how close these two are with this line: ((Mycroft noted, clearly playing Bach's Passion-Johannes in the privacy of his own head.)). Only someone who is so closely attuned with someone else would pick up this little detail, would know something like this.
Ouch, this was a heartbreaking line: ((It would be years before he could go back to Baker Street, and Mrs Hudson, and taking cases and… back to John.)). Sherlock is clearly realizing that his life is over, that he won’t be able to return home, to his friends, to the people he cares about, to his life because of the monster who has infected his life with his disease. Think this is a great rendering of the heart of Sherlock, giving us an idea of just how hard his separation has been on him (which we don’t see in the show). Granted, it was a game and he was having fun and taking out a bad guy and his network, but it came with a heavy price. And you are showing us that price.
This: (("No," Mycroft finally said in a low voice. "And you needn't worry that he's going to do so.")) was so ominous, but it went well with this line here: (("Liam Newell committed suicide in his cell.")) when I came to it later. I knew that Newell was dead from the start of the chapter, but I didn’t expect how the conspiracy would play out or how it would come about. This was really well done.
I have to say poor Lestrade for getting boned in the process of the conspiracy going down. Poor guy gets suspended for what happened even though it was not his fault, he’s being investigated for negligence leading to the suicide of Newell and really has no idea at this point that it was being done for an ulterior purpose. So sad that I am one chapter from the end, but I can’t wait to see how you close this off. Really great job here!
| hiddenhibernian chapter 18 . 4/5
I strongly object to this prolonged suspense-building for Sherlock's return you've got going here – I'm sitting at the edge of my seat here :)
Despite the lack of detectives returning from the dead, this was another great chapter.
Lestrade's attempt at winding up the suspect, and Donovan by extension, with his pen made me snicker a bit...
“But I have this problem with my memory - it's not good” - Being all grouchy, I see – does this mean that Sally will have to be the good cop...?
I like the description of Newell, you paint a complete picture of the man in only a few lines. Knowing that he has been working with Sherlock does of course add an extra dimension of mystery.
“Lestrade wrote teleported to Ravenscourt Park in his notebook” - This made me laugh out loud – he's seriously in a ratty mood, then!
Oh, I see I was bang on the money about Sally Donovan being the good cop – I can see both approaches work well for them. Of course Lestrade wouldn't realise himself, but I'm sure those extremely trust-inspiring brown eyes help his case as the good cop too.
I love the way you write the Holmes brothers and everything that goes unsaid between them. It must be a comfort in some ways that at least one person understands them, when they're a closed book to much of the rest of the world – and also intensely irritating, of course.
I don't believe for a second that Sherlock is going away quietly to wherever, and that's not just because there's only one chapter left!
The suicide was unexpected, but chillingly logical once you try to think like Mycroft Holmes. I like that Lestrade goes to John when he's at a loose end, and that John's medical instincts are so acute.
The chapter ends on a very interesting note: “He had found himself following Mycroft time and time again; when the stakes were high, when lives were at risk.“ I can see that happening, that Sherlock would recognise that he does have limitations outside his area of expertise and turn to his big brother for help when the stakes are too high. Hardly with grace, of course, but still...
| SunshineFromMyHeart chapter 1 . 4/4
I loved the structure of the first part (from the beginning to “she had somewhere else to be”). It felt like an introduction within the introduction, and we got to the point gradually, to the final few sentences to realize it is about Sherlock’s (fake) death.
The focus on Detective Lestrade on the 2nd paragraph was a good way to give a few information about him- for people without fandom knowledge (for once I do) and a good reminder for the others without being exhaustive. Then the focus swiftly changed to Molly, it was nicely done.
The scene between Watson and Molly made me cringe. His nervousness/ discomfort was obvious through his speech and actions. I felt so sorry for him, and for her to have to witness him like this.
This paragraph from : “ That had been on Thursday”... to “John made tea for both of them this time.” was such a nice way to have them, well mostly Molly try to rekindle their relationship/ try to be there for him. The way you wrote it, you insisted on the recurrence of her actions without dwelling on it and be annoying and repetitive; very smart.
“Molly met the challenge of Mycroft’s gaze -it was he who broke it” I also found it interesting that Molly arrived feeling completely misplaced and dominated by Mycroft until she won this challenge, showcasing her determination.
Overall a good introduction, with an ending very adapted to the genre.
| reminiscent-afterthought chapter 11 . 4/2
The first sentence makes it sound like the two halves are distinct instead of related to each other, ie. That the lights being on had nothing to do with somebody being home, instead of being suggestive of it. It just reads a little oddly to me. :D But John’s worry comes out gorgeously – and the way you describe Molly’s appearance from John’s perspective even if it’s in third person narration is so poignant. I’ve probably said it before, but I love your writing. :D
Aww, John letting sweetheart slip like that and not even noticing. It makes it far more realistic and original than the usual “realising seconds later”. And the way the emotions build up there; standing someone up on a birthday is shocking enough even for me who’s never been on a date in her life. And my birthday’s today too, coincidentally. But that’s getting off topic; John’s shock is brought out very nicely here. Simple, but effective…and his self control is amazing. It shows how much he cares for Molly, trying to make her happy being his top priority.
And poor Molly, everyone forgetting her birthday. And war-paint? Somehow, I can imagine John saying that, though I’ve never heard make-up described like that before.
Five minutes for a shower and 25 to dress? Lol; isn’t that a little disproportionate? Unlike a girl, he doesn’t have to worry about makeup…but the extra effort means he really wants to dress up for Molly.
The way you wrapped up that scene was adorable too.
Ooh, psychologist scenes. They come in quite an array, but I think you bring out the dispassionate nature that comes inherently with the profession quite nicely. Is the therapy forced on John or does he come of his own free will? That changes how that segment is read too. :D And nice little tidbit at the end too.
Lestrade’s scene doesn’t seem to fit into the rest of the chapter; it sounds more like the beginning of the chapter than a scene in the middle/end of it. The way you draw out the murder scene is lovely, and how it sneaks back to Sherlock. “It’s like he had no sense” I think italicising “no” works better than italicising “had”.
Interesting end. The last comment’s over my head at the moment, but I’m sure it’ll explain itself some more in due course. :D
| MissScorp chapter 17 . 3/24
Hello! I'm getting dangerously close to the ending here and I'm already feeling anxious about that so you know ;) really have loved this story up to now and am gonna be sad when I see the final chapter heh anyway, on with the review!
Really, the internal dialogue you give wth John's character is so damned fantastic. I can seriously hear the voice in my head and it rings smack dab of Martin Freeman. So kudos there because I have a voice in my head that doesn't make me insane-r than I am. I expressly heard his voice in this line in fact: ((Real wife-business, that.)) because it really emphasizes your earlier statement about how John has had a problem in the past with commitment. With Molly though he's not balking and is actually settling into a type of domesticity which is new territory for him.
Ha! The snark in this line: ((...though even yet he'd prefer thumbscrews to saying it in front of anyone else.)) is FANTASTIC! I chuckled out loud and had to read the line to my mom because I was laughing so much. Again, this really works to showcase John's character. While he's settling into domestic bliss, while he's come full circle and allowed Molly to enter a part of his life, he's still man enough to never want to call her by her nickname in front of any other human being.
Oh, the premise of this line: ((Mycroft was thrown abruptly out of sleep.)) only can spell one thing: Sherlock. I knew from this line that Sherlock was in some sort of trouble or state, that he was in need of his brother and he wasn't going to let something like the fact that his brother was sleeping deter him from getting what he needs. I honestly think the action created here with this line, the way that Mycroft is virtually yanked from sleep just works to showcase how you can never relax around someone like Sherlock. I pictures Mycroft lurching up in bed, or throwing himself to the side at the sudden intrusion, his heart racing, his body coiled in a fight or flight response. You don't illustrate it, but the line suggests it which is very powerful. I also appreciate how this line reflects Sherlock himself. Sherlock is a freight train that never stops, not until sheer exhaustion claims him and even the the sanctity of sleep is not one by which he abides. Why should be expect that or grant that to anybody else?
This was a fanatic line: ((The only part of Mycroft's face that moved were his pupils.)). I just really could picture the dark room, the sudden and rude awakening, the way that the only thing that can be seen is the pupils of Mycroft's eyes as they (glare daggers as I would be) at his obnoxious and boorish brother.
Now this? This is line of the chapter. It is so rare to see the unflappable Sherlock suddenly become so unraveled and you make it so effortless looking with this: ((Sherlock was now pacing up and down, hands shielded around his nose and mouth in horror.)). I can feel his fear, his anxiety and his outright revulsion for what has occurred. At first it doesn't make sense why he's having this reaction but as I read on, you lead me down a path that totally explains why Sherlock is having the reaction that he is: Moriarty is involved. Nuff said.
Again, this really works to showcase the relationship between John and Sherlock, that Sherlock is clear concerned ((...about the safety and wellbeing of one John Watson.)). Virtually he faked his death, has laid low and stayed away from John and everybody he virtually does care for simply because he is afraid of losing them in this war he's in with a virtual madman and his living network of loons. I think this is a fabulous way of showing Sherlock being more than the android that we think he is. He does care, he does have feelings, but he's got issues that stem from his upbringing and childhood that obviously make it hard for him to be demonstrative in his feelings towards people.
Wow, this here: ((Mycroft heard a sharp crack, and felt the sting in his right hand, before he even realised that he'd backhanded his brother across the face.)) just shows the intensity and emotion built into the moment. This is a pivotal moment that showcases just how dangerous Moran and Morarity are. That they can inspire such a physical reaction out of Mycroft, who is normally colder and more in control of himself in my mind than Sherlock is, losing his cool in such a way really puts me on the edge of my seat and makes me reuse that the games are not over yet and that the stakes have been raised considerably because of this situation that Sherlock has now embroiled him.
Again you showcase this brilliant characterization of who John is here: (("… John Watson. Hi. You're welcome." Even in a professional capacity, John rarely used the appellation Doctor.)). He's not this egotistical man who needs to use titles in order to classify himself. He's just John, a man and that's all he cares to be. It shows us that he's a man of morals and integrity and who sees the world with eyes that might be a bit jaded, but which are not in anyway so jaded he's lost sight upon what he values the most.
Oh man you are killing me with this cliffhanger! The suspense! The suspense! I wanna see how and why John might be in danger, what this Moran person might be up too and how he represents those dangers Sherlock and Mycroft both seem stressed over. Great job! And sorry this is so late!
| Graveofthefireflies chapter 14 . 3/24
Title of this chapter is absolutely perfect.
I love the opening of this chapter. It paints Lestrade in a different light, as a concerned father. It’s one of the best part of your stories, showing us the aspects of character’s lives that are not developed in canon.
The murder case has reached a new level of gruesome. It is nicely balanced by dark humour though. I somehow don’t think that those 6 coroners offices are going to be fighting for their rights to this case, quite to the contrary. Lol There are some cracking lines here. ‘the sort of bingo they play in hell’ made me chuckle.
Nice contrast between Lestrade’s night time activities and the domestic bliss scene that unfolds between John and Molly. John continues to move on, now contemplating going back to work. It’s nice to see him have a bit of normality back and enjoying the afternoon.
Poor Lestrade, no domestic bliss for him. A bit of a bomb shell there. Right in the middle of coping with difficult case as well. His ex-partner is overreacting a little bit to say at least. I wonder how Lestrade is going to cope with his increased parental responsibilities.
I hope things will turn out OK for John. Molly and Lestrade are clearly worried there.
| Graveofthefireflies chapter 13 . 3/23
I’m glad that you touched upon John’s reluctance to visit Mrs Hudson. Going back to Baker Street would have been very hard for John and I think you have showed that well in your story. The little things that bring on painful memories was a nice idea to demonstrate that John is very much still grieving. At the same time he seem to be moving through the stages, slowly approaching acceptance of what has happened.
I like how Molly is quietly supportive. Some things are better left unsaid.
Poor Mrs Hudson. I feel for her in this chapter. ‘Some of the fire in her had died with Sherlock.’ –sums it up perfectly. She might have not been his housekeeper but she was devoted to looking after him.
I really enjoy reading about John’s relationship with his sister. You have taken what is known from canon to a new level and every chapter with a bit of Harry in it is a treat.
Best part of this chapter is having Sherlock back in the story. The dynamics between him and Mycroft are written perfectly in character. The way Sherlock deduced that Molly and John are now an item was really cool and the line about how their kids will turn up hilarious.
It seems that the case is somehow related to Sherlock. It’s a great twist, starts to bring all the strands together. Very intriguing.