|Reviews for Sweet and Snarly Sixteen|
| Joacurl chapter 2 . 7/9
Nice description of the transformation. Good play between David and Carolyn. I am enjoying this very much.
| Joacurl chapter 1 . 7/9
Nice beginnings great interactions between the characters and an enjoyable first chapter.
| DavidZahir chapter 3 . 2/9/2013
You know, this Ron character sure sounds in some ways like Ron Jeremy. I'm just sayin'
This was a nice little vignette. Thanks for writing it!
| DavidZahir chapter 2 . 2/9/2013
I like your description of how it *feels* to Carolyn, her transformation.
| Mecha74 chapter 3 . 1/20/2013
My apologies for taking so long.
I loved these lines...
"My name is Victoria Winters. I must get used to saying that. Maggie Evans is dead to the world now. Victoria Winters now lives in her place. My name is Victoria Winters…."
"Something tells me that they will become very important to me in time. In time perhaps, but for now they are not real yet. They are merely dark shadows upon my wall…"
The way you described the nature of the 'fusion' if you will of Josette and Victoria was practically perfect. Her personality does indeed now reflect them both.
And Barnabas' realization that what he did to Angelique was wrong and was the indirect cause for his family's suffering was quite poignant if I do say so myself.
As for Elizabeth's book choice, interesting. Is there a special significance to it by any chance?
Her guilt about what happened to Carolyn and her both not noticing it or being able to stop it are quite understandable, good job there.
And now you've done it...you've mentioned zombies.
I want to see the Collins family fighting zombies now. LOL
Good catch by the way on shedding light on the fact that any children that Carolyn might have will also be werewolves.
The exchange between Elizabeth and Carolyn in the flashback was wonderfully done too.
Liked how Carolyn was testing herself as it were, by seeing how close she could get to people without them seeing her in her werewolf form. So Carolyn is a voyeur? Naughty girl! LOL
The entire Ron scenario was priceless! And then there was this...
"He couldn't be sure…But it looked like some sort of animal had approached Ron's Mustang…and was lifting its leg on it. Bill shook his head and decided this was another thing he was going to forget about."
I burst out laughing at that part! XD
What Carolyn said at breakfast was beautiful and fitting, what a difference a year makes huh?
The parallel time portal was an interesting tidbit, I didn't see that coming.
The sum up of Carolyn's feeling at the end was a perfect end for this tale and this is definitely my favorite chapter of this story, not that the previous chapters weren't good of course, it's just that this one was simply brilliant.
An excellent conclusion to this story and your best Dark Shadows story yet IMO. I'm sure your future writings will no doubt be just as good. :)
| RobGill chapter 3 . 1/14/2013
Nice to see Barnabas acknowledge some guilt/responsibility for the family's troubles, even understanding-if not excusing-Angelique's actions for his manipulation of her. Despite the horrors she inflicted on the family, I almost found myself feeling sad for her in her dying moments with Barnabas.
Deputy Frid? An inside joke, of course, referencing the late Jonathan Frid (the 1st Barnabas), who, BTW, made his final film appearance in DS, just before his death.
Carolyn's behavior around Ron is just too funny for words. Hey, if the lady's gotta go, she's gotta go. ;) And "gorilla-wolf" is only slightly less weird than the Japanese word for "gorilla-whale": Gojira, AKA Godzilla. (Not that that's relevant, just thought I'd mention it.)
| Makokam chapter 3 . 1/11/2013
Obviously I've been watching too much Being Human, because all through this chapter I kept picturing Carolyn walking around the Collinwood grounds dragging a chicken on a string. -laugh-
And on that note, I'd assumd she /was/ just roaming the grounds, and was contained within a wall or something. She actually just roams free? Holy shit. She's lucky she /does/ keep her wits or she'd be a danger to all of Collinsport. -shock-
As for the chapter itself, it was good, but I think you need to stop concerning yourself with word count. There was a lot of stuff in this chapter that felt it was only added to padd it out, if not being outright redundant.
Carolyn also seemed out of character. I don't know if you were forcing things because you wanted to end the story this chapter or what, but I couldn't hear Carolyn's voice. Not like with Barnabas. You write Barnabas excellently.
Anyway, if you cut those bits out, you'd only be removing about a thousand words from this seven thousand word chapter. And trust me, I have no problem with long chapters. I throughly enjoyed a chapter of another fic that was around twenty thousand words. My biggest, and usually only, complaint is just that it feels like you're forcing your chapters to be longer than they need to be.
I still want to see you write out one of my PC chapters the way you write yours.
Also...why wasn't her boyfriend mentioned at all in this chapter? You'd think he'd be a big point in the whole "moving away" thing.
Or did I mix this up with your other storis and they haven't met yet?
Still, it was nice to see Carolyn accepting her curse. And by that I mean her freak show family. -wink-
Looking forward to your next story.
| apdarkness905 chapter 3 . 1/11/2013
This is a fantastic chapter, I can't wait to see what you do next I'm loving these DS stories of yours they are brilliant, well done.
| JuliaAurelia chapter 3 . 1/11/2013
This is an excellent ending to an excellent fic! I love how it's so family-oriented, and I loved the shifting POV's (Barnabas and Victoria are my favorites.) The whole encounter with Ron was hilarious-the benefits of being a werewolf, LOL. I love Carolyn at the end thinking that while the occasional weekend in NYC is a good thing, Collinwood is her home and she will always return there, no matter where she goes. The staircase is real, from the show? It just sounds so cool, and just what you'd expect to find in Collinwood.
I look forward to your next DS fic!
| astridweasley chapter 3 . 1/11/2013
Excellent! I always wondered if being a werewolf could be hereditary. Nice to see Ron get his in the end! He kinda reminds me of someone I know. I hope your doing alright and look forward to seeing more DS fics!
| Mecha74 chapter 2 . 12/30/2012
I wonder how many readers will even know what you're talking about when referencing the old 80s Werewolf TV series?
A beach sequence. Why didn't I think of that? Meh, probably because when I think of the coastline at Collinwood I think of the rocky inhospitable crags at the bottom of Widow's hill. But anyway, a good scene that was.
I too always felt that the closer to the full moon that Carolyn would get, the more it would affect her in various ways.
Shawshank? Is that another Stephen King reference I see? Hmmm. ;)
Like how you tied real world events into your story and this line...
'Men had walked on the moon and she was still stuck at Collinwood'
The transformation sequence was nothing short of astounding, I especially liked the mirror bit, I've never seen that done before. It also makes even more sense now why Carolyn would want to leave, not just because of her unhappy life, but to keep anyone from learning the truth about her condition.
The explanation of how Widow's Hill had gotten its name was very well done, some excellent prose there. Got a kick out of Carolyn talking about wanting to get Joe down there and what she may or may not do as well. XD
Loved the dogpaddle joke, so fitting and it's also beautiful to see just how warm and close Carolyn and David have become, such a departure from what we saw in the film.
The bit about Elizabeth realizing that the howls she had been hearing every full moon for years had been her daughter was well executed, some very adept writing there.
All in all another great tale Toronto. Keep em' coming! :)
| claire3loves3music chapter 2 . 12/21/2012
I love the relationship between her and david. Please update soon!
| CharlemagneGrey chapter 2 . 12/18/2012
I enjoy reading the way you write her point of view during her transformation.
| Laziness chapter 2 . 12/17/2012
StakeTheHeart: Lol dog paddle. That was actually quite clever. I see David and Carolyn really are acting like brother and sister now. Interesting to note David would rather be a vampire than a werewolf but vampires have their fair share of problems too. Being a werewolf seems to be a little more fun though don't you think? Never having to worry about the sun or looking any different until the full moon comes around. But after a few years that uncomfortable feeling would go away. I don't know I like vampires but maybe being a werewolf wouldn't be so bad either. Eagerly but patiently waiting for an update.
| Makokam chapter 2 . 12/3/2012
"Might leave her swimsuit up at the house if he played his cards right"
Anyway, I guess the long flashback scene is responsible, but this felt like a bridge more than anything else. I mean, not much happened.
Still an entertaining read though. I look forward to the next one.