|Reviews for My Foolish Student|
| review for you chapter 1 . 10/22/2012
When's the next update?
| LuckyLukeyLoy chapter 1 . 10/14/2012
Ahh, NaruMok. My all-time favorite pairing. I prefer this over canon, really, and have no regrets on the number of stories dedicated to this, "the more the merrier" is what I encourage.
Reading your introduction, it's obvious that this is a mere prologue. An excerpt taken from the latest Naruto chapter, is it not? Albeit with your own version of the incoming battle. Here you are setting yourself to explain Naruto's relationship with the canon stories 'Big Bads', before he is taken to Moka's world, am I right? Intriguing. I'll be keeping a close eye on this.
| Man without name chapter 1 . 10/14/2012
Damn it! How could you be so cruel!
That's so mean man!
| I-Took-An-Arrow-To-The-Knee chapter 1 . 10/13/2012
| SomeUndilutedPerfume chapter 1 . 10/13/2012
I can't say anything yet since it's too early to tell, but this looks interesting. Update ASAP
| NaruMok again chapter 1 . 10/12/2012
Seriously? This shit again?
There are too many of these already, why this again? I can already predict what would happen, "Naruto goes to Yokai and blah blah blah".
Still, this looks good, worth a shot, but please don't make it like the rest...
| lunaperla chapter 1 . 10/12/2012
Hey bro, reviewing your chapter like you asked. But you know I'm the worst at reviewing, so stop asking me to. However, I will try to give you the critique you deserve and make some credible points about your writing, etc. etc so you can grow to be a better writer.
So, here's your review:
Not bad, not bad. But I guess I should start with the bad points:
Some grammar mistakes. Not too bad, and you can fix those later on, but seeing a grammar/spelling mistake really "disrupts" the experience of being "in the story" and it might destroy anything you might've been building up to before that part.
This might sound mean, but I'm really uninterested in this story. It's not your fault though, Kuya, it's just our differing fandoms; and you'd probably be bored if I made you read a Korra fic.
BUT BUT GOOD THINGS ARE HERE:
Your imagery is really good. I love your descriptions (I probably appreciate it more since I'm not very good at them :3). It's like watching a movie or something.
On the flipside, good work for the minimal grammar mistakes, especially since you don't have a beta anymore. That program you're using is fantastic.
Overall, in terms of an opening/introduction chapter zero, it's not bad. I would love to say that your themes and the way you handle blah, etc. is exceptional and brilliant and (insert positive adjective here), but bro we're only on the first chapter, I can't say the cake is delicious when I've only had a crumb.
OKAY HAPPY THAT I GAVE YOU A NICE LONG REVIEW?
I'll probably realise things/have more to say later or something but I've already written the review so I'll just tell you when I think of it, since we do live under the same roof. And now you make me feel guilty and make me want to write more too, but whatever, I do what I want.
| review for you chapter 1 . 10/12/2012
hmm... That's weird. but naruto's not dead right? you cant kill him off yet
| Jalexba chapter 1 . 10/11/2012
AHHH finally! I wonder what happens next!
| BoB teh Snail chapter 1 . 10/11/2012
Well written and shows potential.
Will be watching out for an update.
| Kirito-kun chapter 1 . 10/11/2012
nooooo! is naruto dead?
| Why so short chapter 1 . 10/10/2012
Is this a prologue or something?
| Alejudis chapter 1 . 10/10/2012
Hmm, I would like to see where this will go before posting a proper review.
| Andore-kun chapter 1 . 10/9/2012
wow, the episode was great, I hope the below the upload soon stay with intrigue me, your story is very interesting, Greetings
| forbiddenfruitunloved chapter 1 . 10/9/2012
when in the rosario verse... please don't say that Kyubi is a Kitsune... cause he's not, he's just a mass of energy that looks like a fox... also, if Naruto could gain Vampire blood and find away to gain the other half of Kyubi's power, he'd be a match for Madara and Obito together (his speed, power and senses should be even greater