Reviews for Relevancy
SakuHina-X3 chapter 1 . 8/24
Oh my god! This story is so sad! :'(
Really good though, it describes the problem very well and i like how you made one parent oblivious to Sebastian's pain and the other far too concerned, showing that there has to be a balance between the two.
Well done i enjoyed it!:)
anamia chapter 1 . 12/13/2012
O.O I-I... I don't know what to say. You're great. Bye.
Guest chapter 1 . 10/10/2012
Great story, beautifully written I just wish I had a warning somewhere about character death and rape. Honestly I wanted to cry at the end thinking about the possibility of a dead sebastian
Rori Potter chapter 1 . 10/9/2012
Oh wow. That was just wow. Brilliantly written. It kind of reminds me of yellow wallpaper.
Kitsune-chann chapter 1 . 10/9/2012
Wow. Yeah, it was dark as you said but i could'nt stop reading. It was very well written. Thank you!
Guest chapter 1 . 10/9/2012
Wow! This piece was definitely intense. I really liked your sentence structure - I felt that your sentences were long and flowed together, and it really got me into Sebastian's head with that style. But occasionally Sebastian would have a thought that would just sort of drop in that sort of made me pause and go 'huh'. In a good way :) Hopefully that made sense to you! I really liked Sebastian's father character development at the end - you really get a picture of the fact that he really didn't understand Sebastian throughout this whole thing, and even staring down at Sebastian's body he still doesn't quite get it. Jean was just so intelligent and yet so oblivious - I really liked it.
I did think that the pace was a little fast. I would've liked to see some more scenes where Sebastian is trying to hold himself together after the rape while at Dalton. He still had lacrosse, still had the Warblers. The entire piece was all very dark, which is great, but I think Sebastian would've had what he considered to be victories in even during that time with insulting other students, etc. But I also didn't quite get a sense of the time after the rape of when things were. So maybe everything did just happen really fast :)
I understand what you did with the gun shot, and how you set up that scene. I think it would've been slightly more poetic if Sebastian had poisoned his coffee - but your end works well too. I do suggest that you provide trigger warnings (and since you can't easily edit on FF, maybe in the summary). You do mention the eating disorder, but I'm a strong believer that surprise character deaths aren't okay. I think that you do well enough with setting the scene up for Sebastian's suicide that you don't need that surprise element anyway :)