Reviews for Hot Blooded
Daydreamsofpossibilities chapter 4 . 7/1/2013
You should update;)
glasswork destruction chapter 4 . 11/30/2012
YOU UPDATED! :D lol, that was a really long wait. I still think it's interesting, but the fact that it's so short was a little disappointing. Anyway, again I'd like to point out that the story is still a bit choppy; their actions are so abrupt and sometimes seem awkward. Also, when Danny was locked up, I think he should have had some emotions, right? Was he angry, frightened, confused or annoyed? I'd really appreciate it if you could go back and edit that part because I have a bizarre fondness for trapped-in-a-weird-place-with-the-person-you're-secretly-in-love-with scenes. :P Besides that, I like that Danny finally kissed Sam, but if the curse did break, then does that mean that the story will be ending soon? I hope it doesn't! :O If it were my story, I'd make it seem like that vamp was lying so as to increase the drama, but it's your story, so... Keep it up, and please update soon! :)
Robastar34 chapter 4 . 11/29/2012
You should update soon.
DannySamLover20 chapter 4 . 11/29/2012
wow! keep going!
yoiyami chapter 3 . 10/14/2012
So, you need to learn your comma rules. One of them is that you need to use a comma when you are addressing someone. You know, "let's eat grandpa" and "let's eat, grandpa." Those commas are pretty important. But also, your dialogue and narrative is somewhat stiff. It just seems all fake. Making an exclamatory sentence does not make the tone urgent. If anything, you'd be better off without the exclamatory sentences. You should also stop using "then." It just makes the narrative more passive and less engaging. Also, try to refrain from using words repeatedly in a short passage. At the end you used "suddenly" and "sudden" four times, three of which were in the same paragraph. Don't tell us that it's sudden, show us. What does sudden look like? That is what you need to explain. Well, that is all. Sorry for the long review!
glasswork destruction chapter 3 . 10/13/2012
Haha, I didn't expect such a quick update! The story has certainly improved; you spaced out the paragraphs appropriately and further elaborated on feelings and such. I'd suggest using connectors occasionally instead of beginning every sentence with "I" so that the story doesn't sound so choppy, though. Overall great job, but try not to rush into the main plot too quickly. Also, is this an AU story? Like does this happen during/after the timeline of events in the show, or is it completely different? Another question (I really should stop asking... -_-): are these traditional vampires that suck blood and stuff, or are they your own creation with special rules, features and powers?
I like cliffhangers and all, but I'm eager to read about what happened to Danny so please update soon! Keep up the good work :)
DannySamLover20 chapter 3 . 10/12/2012
wow! keep going!
Teameida Creator chapter 2 . 10/12/2012
OMIGOSH! This is an awesome way to start my weekend! I just got out of school and then checked my phone and it said the the next chaper was posted! I love this story... End of story... XD
glasswork destruction chapter 1 . 10/11/2012
Good attempt but you really should start a new paragraph every time a new person speaks, otherwise it will appear as a large chunk of text. A little extra detail would be great so that readers can visualise the scene clearly. Also, I don't understand why they went into the cave in the first place... Maybe you could explain in the next chapter?
Keep it up! :)
Teameida Creator chapter 1 . 10/10/2012
OMG THE SUSPENCE! *dies*
I like this story so far! All I can really say for constructive critisism is that a new paragraph should be made every time someone it talking. Other than that, I LOVE IT.
sperry426 chapter 1 . 10/10/2012
AH! Update soon please!
DannySamLover20 chapter 1 . 10/10/2012
nice! keep going!