|Reviews for Utterly Barbaric|
| viola1701e chapter 40 . 7/31
Well if shes going for insane looking...that outfit should do it... now she just needs to wear huge glasses and shell look like her professor Trelawney!
| RhodaBush chapter 40 . 7/30
| MillieJoan chapter 39 . 7/30
I really enjoyed the style of this chapter, and as usual Hermione's reactions to the situation she is in feel very natural. I look forward to reading more!
| OonaghClark chapter 39 . 7/28
Much prefer the return to previous style. Please keep writing, can't wait to see how this turns out!
| Guest chapter 26 . 7/28
I really do like your story, but the action scenes are written poorly. A whole section about Hermione thinking about her sorting and being muggle born and an odd gryffindor for ten paragraphs, then we finally get one tiny paragraph about her deciding to steal the files. To be frank, the action scenes don't need "chracter development" or "back story". Action scenes should comprise action only and thoughts related to the action (as in real-time decision-making). All this random back story really slows down the pace of the action and creates frustration in the reader. It's fine to have back story and reminiscing, but keep that between action sequences. Setup the characters (background, motivation, etc) and setup the plot (how everyone is going to handle situation x) and then when the plots start unfolding (I.e. action is taking place, like running from enemies,etc) don't look back at back stiry no matter what. When the action finishes (they are captured or get away, etc) then the tension relaxes and you can show the reactions to what just happened. That's when you can put more back story and memories and character development. The whole ten paragraphs on sorting could have been summed up in one sentence if you really want to mention it ("she was such an unconventional gryffindor" or whatever) and then keep pressing the action until it's over. I highly recommend reading a book called Scene and Structure by Jack Beckham if you want a great resource on writing compelling scenes. Sorry if my review started a bit harsh, but I really do like your story, just got extremely frustrated with the whiplash from the 'action' scenes. Hope this comment was helpful!
| Sakura Lisel chapter 17 . 7/28
Okay. I have a question. Instead of panicing over the loss of her OLD notes why doesn't she write it back? What I mean is, unless her memories are REALLY bad, how hard is it to get her hands on a pensieve, magic out all her memories of what she wrote in her notes and put it in a pensieve and go in and rewrite down EVERYTHING she sees her memory self is writing in the memory notes. *lol*
| Sakura Lisel chapter 15 . 7/28
I don't see why everyone is getting mad at Hermione for turning down Ron. If ANYTHING is to blame for the mess, its the bloody law. Hermione says she doesn't want to get married NOW at age 19. She has her whole life to live with PLANS for said life before shes ready to get married to Ron or anybody else, and especially NOT if the marriage is being FORCED on her against her will. Maybe if the law had been made YEARS after now, the idea of marrying Ron because of it would be more appealing, that is IF they hadn't broken up OR married each other on their own by then. *lol* and having her rights to choose WHEN she has kids taken away from her as well because of the law when shes not even ready or WILLING for THAT yet either?
| orlando switch chapter 39 . 7/28
Glad you updated so soon. I like the shift back in style, I think the previous chapter worked to show Hermione's internal life at the moment but for the pacing of the story I am glad you now shifted back to show us how her interaction with others is and what she is going to do. Still curious to the latter, so I hope you'll again update soon..
| viola1701e chapter 39 . 7/28
that lovely secret world is still back in the middle-ages and needs it be turned on is head...Hermione is just the witch to do it ;)
| Guest chapter 39 . 7/27
I appreciate the more coherent change in style. But why is she calling him Collin and he's Dennis?
| x.sOmAr.x chapter 39 . 7/27
Personally for me this is a lot better. It's more coherent there's still this aspect of flashbacks and reminiscing but it's not so disjointed. I'm excited where you decide to take this
| Amarenima Redwood chapter 39 . 7/27
Honestly, I barely noticed the change in style. Great chapter.
| weatherwings chapter 39 . 7/27
Coming up next:
Auction of the Malfoy estates, and Hermione enters the world of business.
| Guest chapter 38 . 7/23
Yay another chapter! So happy that you're writing and posting again. Loved the chapter and how well planned everything is, can't wait for more.
| RhodaBush chapter 38 . 7/22
Huuummmmm... more please