|Reviews for Kopa's Legacy — Book II: Dawning at Nightfall — Remastered Edition|
| Gage chapter 4 . 8/28
Another beautiful chapter. I'll be honest though; you sort of ruined my day. I was hoping so much for a Kion X Fuli pairing. I'm considering writing a story with one. It is a fan favorite and can make for some interesting writing. Oh well! Not giving up hope just yet!
| Gracekim1 chapter 4 . 8/28
Whoa! Talk about uneasy tension.
That was incredible. I love how the format outsiders have names and haven't forgotten about what Kion did to them...
Also Gabe, the guest person give your ideas a try. We all have to start from somewhere to be able to improve.
| Jaeson Chandler chapter 4 . 8/28
Good chapter! :) I don't want to give away spoilers... but I'm gonna guess outright, Tama and Tojo were together, during Scar's reign and Mateka's Vitani is her half-sister. XD
| Haradion chapter 4 . 8/28
I don't want to gush, but this was fantastic! This felt like an order of magnitude above your usual work (which is usually excellent).
I loved the characters here.
Kiara and Kion.
Zuri and Tiffu, (glad I was able to help there)
Fuli and Kopa,
And then Vitani and Kion again.
Some excellent hints of time gone by there.
Sort of hoping for an outright flashback, bit well see.
Honestly, I'm just really enjoying seeing the pieces click together so neatly. Dialogue is crisp, in character, and made me smile.
We got a lot of history without numb exposition, which is hard to do. Kion offering his condolences for Ziras death (and being the only one to do so) was so on point. Love it.
Reply nice work. Keep it up.
| Loki God of Evil chapter 1 . 8/26
Well, at least Janga is alive...in a sense. Fujo found her and has his own agenda. Of which he is being purposefully vague.
So the lion guard and the lion with the power of his roar is a myth, that does actually make sense. 'It is foretold' I can just imagine Rafiki saying that with his stick.
And now a trek up Mt Kilimanjaro, yikes. Didn't realise Kopa was scared of heights lol.
| RaptorZeroOne chapter 3 . 8/13
Can't wait for Kopa to get to Pride Rock
| Gage chapter 3 . 8/12
I actually don't write myself. I've been considering writing a Lion King story. After reading your Book One, it has inspired me. I want to write the story, but I'm not sure I can write it to my satisfaction.
I have a lot of little ideas, and a basic plot, but I just don't know if I have it in me to create a coherent story. I don't want to write a rushed, poorly written story a few chapters long, like most works you see on this website. I want to write something the size of your story you've written here.
I also want to get it at least half completed before I post the first chapter. I don't want to be another fanfiction writer who quits part-way thru. If I do decide to actually write the story, perhaps I could call on you for some advice from time to time. My email is
| Gracekim1 chapter 3 . 8/11
Alright! It's Kopa meets the lion guard time! Yay! :D
| Gage chapter 3 . 8/10
Here's a little tip to make it a bit easier for your readers to follow the story; at the bottom of each chapter, list each character mentioned or appearing in that chapter, along with a brief description of their role in the story so far.
| Gage chapter 3 . 8/10
Actually, I posted the guest review on the 4th. I'm amazed you have an editor for something you put on . I must say, I'm disappointed to hear you're cutting some scenes from the story. When I said you have so much going on in this story, I meant that you just need to make the story easier to follow. As I said before; you are the writer, so the story will. Always be crystal clear and easy to follow to you. You always know how everything ties into everything else. But the reader is just a visitor. They need a bit more hand-holding. You just need to be sure to explain things more. It's the opposite of what most writers on this site do. They explain everything thru dialogue or other ways and it's like someone who explains the punchline of a joke. I like how long your stories are. It is one of the things that puts your writing on a level beyond the vast majority of this entire site. I like how detailed and intricate your writing is. I like how you have several things happening at once and how you seem to have little subplots in your story. But, when you have something else going on over here, you just need to try and explain it a BIT less vaguely. Before you post a new chapter, try having someone other than yourself read it. See if they have any questions about what they read and what is happening in the story so far. If they have questions you thought you already answered, you know you need to tweet something. Your Book One is something I genuinely believe is worth paying for. I am glad to see you intend to write I third book. And I hope this book is longer than the first. Because even though I have to reread several parts of this story to understand what's going on, this story really is a joy to read. And every aspect of it is at the same level I would expect from a professional writer. So more content, not less! If you would like, I'd be happy to critique your chapters before you post them. Please don't cut scenes, just tie those scenes in more clearly.
| Guest chapter 2 . 8/7
Please update. And how about a Kion romance?
| Guest chapter 2 . 8/4
So far this story has at least half a dozen characters who are thought to be dead by others. Will a dramatic dynamic, you really overused it in your 'Book 1'. I hope you introduce new aspects in this second story. Maybe a Kion romance. Or something that doesn't tie so intricately into the story that you have to reread the entire thing just to have a clue how all the pieces a currently fitting together. You're an excellent writer. However, as the writer, you may not realize that, no matter how complicated and hard to follow your story is, it will always be very clear and simple to YOU. Even when it becomes a burden to the reader. Your story is way too intricate. There is a lot going on in this story, but it's unclear how it all fits. You seem to leave mystery and unanswered questions were I don't believe you intend to. When the writer is unaware of a question, it goes unanswered. Readers hate missing things, especially after they are "explained".
| Gage chapter 1 . 8/4
I'm confused. Both your big Kopa's Legacy stories each say they were published back in 2012. Yet both of them say they were updated within the last month or so. As far as I know "updated" means a new chapter was added. I'm I to believe you really took FIVE YEARS to write these stories?! If not, please explain.
| RaptorZeroOne chapter 2 . 8/1
| PokeKing Charizard chapter 2 . 7/28
So happy you've started posting the second story! I love The Lion King, and I love your continuation stories, especially how you've redone them to include Kopa and the Guard. This is gonna be EPIC!