Reviews for Taking Umbridge |
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![]() ![]() ![]() Just wanted to say I love all of your stories. Thank you so much for putting the effort into not only writing them, but making sure they are polished as well. Two of my absolute favourites. Thank you again. |
![]() ![]() ![]() Okay, so I caved and read it already. It's an interesting concept, and I find myself looking forward to more. Character wise I loved it; especially the bad-ass Ron. He gets too much of the Ron-the-Death-Eater syndrome. Grammatically I found no issue with sentence structure or paragraphs, though the first half of this was a little awkward to read. A lot of the early paragraphs start as 'Fleur did this' and then followed by another one starting with 'Fleur did that' rather then using a pronoun or a 'synonym' or her name (the part-veela, the blond, ect). It makes it choppy-like each paragraph is the start of a new idea, like in an essay, rather then building on the one before. It's not as smooth. Hope this helps, TKB17 |
![]() ![]() ![]() Another wonderful story I thinking starting up. |
![]() ![]() ![]() Why not use this agreement between schools to send Umbridge to Beauxbatons? It's the headmaster's decision, right? And Umbridge is now part of the faculty. So Dumbledore is well within his rights to send her there. And in France, her power will be severely limited. The very fact that Maxime is headmistress proves that laws there aren't as bad … Anyway, lovely chapter. And it makes sense that men would get immune to Veela charm. After all, you never see Fleur's classmates falling over her in canon … |
![]() ![]() ![]() Good prologue. I hope you create as rich of a background here as you did for when a veela cries. So far this Fluer is a complex character, at least as complex as you can get in eight thousand words. As far as the others, Canon will have to do until you can define them. I suspect the next chapter or two will fill in the setting getting us to the start of school by chapter three or four. |
![]() ![]() Ok, so, where is the rest? I AM reading the other fic also, and am waiting for that update, but... where is this one going? |
![]() ![]() ![]() Oh my god. I should given the description of story but I never expected that one. To "watch" little girl waiting impatiently for her father and her mother trying to distract her. It was so sweet and brought smile to my face. And than CUT and everything is different and went to hell. I feel chilled and god goosebump. That only happen in stories that are captivating and I started to really like the character and the whole tale. Wow... The confrontation in the infirmary also good. Not sure about the conversation after. Checking the newest person in the room is good but than I would think Fleur would try to immidietly investigate what happened. Especially given that somebody is dead. Also Dumbledor acting so lighthearted... On the other hand the conversation in headmaster office was handled perfectly and I very liked how Dumledore lead it. That also apply for the whole Order meeting. You also asked me what I would say to conversation between Molly and Fleur. They both have fiery temper but I think non of them went into some over the top rage. And in the end it was handled by Dumledore and his mention of Prewett brothers :) This story is definitely captivating and in several moments breathtaking. It gives a great promise of the future and it may even soothe the sad feeling when you finish with your main (at least currently) story :-) Oh and one mistake/typo when Fleur adres Olympe "Not really, 'Eadmaster." I think it should be "Headmistress" or "'Eadmistress" ;-) |
![]() ![]() ![]() Intriguing Start, I hope you continue this soon, I am looking forward to it and I haven't seen anything quite like this before |
![]() ![]() ![]() This is exactly what I wanted to happen after the 4th then the5th started. I loved the idea of fleur back than and this story ticks just the right boxes. I know you are busy with your other fics, but can you please find time to update this? |
![]() ![]() ![]() That looks very different from other Harry/Fleur stories. Is Bill going to play any significant role? |
![]() ![]() ![]() interresting idea i really want to see where you will go with this so keep going and i think that having dobby and winky explaining house elfs in the class would be worthy of at least an omake |
![]() ![]() Excellent start and a unique jumping off point to begin a Harry/fleur story I eagerly await the upcoming chapters. especially if you have Ron acting like a douche canoe around fleur with Harry looking on bemusedly. And the fact that Harry will be secretly dating her will make the reveal all the sweeter look on rons face I can imagine it know. keep up the great work! |
![]() ![]() ![]() Awaiting more. |
![]() ![]() ![]() Nice chapter ... Can't wait for the next one |
![]() ![]() ![]() That was a great start, I'm looking forward to seeing more of this story. It was a little weird that Dumbledore showed up so quickly after the fight and already knew exactly what was happening, but it didn't mess with the flow of the story much. Other than that I love the plot and I can't wait for more. |