|Reviews for Albus Potter and the Lunar Eclipse|
| 8oclocksleeper chapter 13 . 10/6
I find the concept of 12 year-olds dating a bit weird, but I found that duelling parts really exciting!
| 8oclocksleeper chapter 1 . 10/5
Awww that last part of chapter 1 made my eyes tear up a bit. I love your portrayal of the siblings!
| The Glitch chapter 10 . 10/4
I just can't see Harry forcing his child to drink a potion like that...
| chkboris chapter 10 . 10/1
I don't particularly like this chapter, I mean, it just feels like a ton of people have been throwing the idiot ball back and forth.
First off we have Harry and Wilcox, who both immediately jump to the conclusion that Solomon must be trying to eradicate werewolves because the clearing was protected by the fidelius charm. Maybe it would be a reasonable conclusion, except for the fact that THERE IS EVIDENCE THE CHARM'S FALLIBILITY STARING THEM RIGHT IN THEIR STUPID FACES. I mean, how is it that they can't make the connection that Albus is not a werewolf and despite this knew of the gathering? Is it really so hard to believe that someone who is actively hunting werewolves (ie. the serial killer the aurors have been hunting for months) would not find the pamphlet (like on the corpse of a werewolf) and then learn of the secret if a twelve year old could do it? The fact that Harry, who is essentially the wizard equivalent of a detective can't make this connection just feels a little silly.
Anyway, my second issue is Solomon. This is a little more acceptable if we assume that Solomon is some head-in-the-clouds idealist, which based on what we know of him seems like it is probably the case. My issue with him is his choice to use the fidelius charm to protect the gathering, since, evidently his protection can be overcome by a curious twelve year old. I just feel like with the knowledge that there is a serial killer running loose who actively hunts werewolves, you would want to have much tighter security on the dissemination of information about the gathering (for example, Solomon could have adjusted the pamphlets to make it so that they have to be held by the living hand of the person who unlocked them in order to stay active, rather than just being unlocked once and then revealing the secret to anyone who reads it from there on out). Admittedly this is somewhat more excusable, since its perfectly possible that Solomon simply did not consider the pamphlets being stolen after they were unlocked, although I think he should have.
Incidentally, everyone seems awfully insistent on there being no cure to lycanthropy, like, unusually so. Is it possible that this is a case of most of the wizarding world being somehow subject to a compulsion to believe that there is no cure(such as with siren song charm we learned about in this chapter)?
| right-of-way chapter 15 . 8/16
I use this offline on my phone, but online I'm lavacana, and I just had to review this chapter. This series is so well done it's unbelievable. I don't know how I didn't find it sooner, but I'm just grateful I got to it anyway. It's just so amazing. The way you write is phenomenal. I'm not talking about just the way you write, I mean EVERYTHING. You (you two?) came up woth such a lovely storyline.
Forst and foremost, I don't know your ages, but I know it can be difficult to wrote the mindset of young children after having grown up. You capture it wonderfully. The kiddie crushes, the kiddie drama, the misunderstandings they take offense to are all reminiscent of my own childhood, and unless I'm mistaken, everyone else's as well. BTW Gimmick is bae.
Secondly, THE DIALOUGE! I can't even begin to describe how good it is. It's flippin' great! It captures every character's personality perfectly, it moves the story along, it brings tension and hilarity and it does EVERYTHING dialouge is supposed to! I LOVE IT! It feels like people have forgotten how important dialouge is nowadays but this brings me back to just how awesome it truly is. You play it so beautifully. Also, the scene in this chapter? Brilliant. Mom-and-son comebacks are, like, totally my new thing now.
And I could go on FOR DAYS about the plot, but I'll keep this nice and simple:OH MY GPS ITS SO GOOD I CANT BELIEVE IT THIS IS AMAZING MUGGLES KNKW ABOUT IT NOW THIS IS GENIUS THE SANDBLOODS ARE COMING ALL BEWARE AND NOW MULUNCTAPOLI I CANT EVEN SPELL IT DISMUISE-er Dismuisa? WHATEBER ITS ALL BRILLIANT ITS ALL GOOD ITS ALL WOW JUST WOW. WOW.
That's really all I can say to all this. Just, wow. Thank you, Thank you (both?) so much for creating this, for allowing us to enjoy such genius, for giving us the continuation of a beloved childhood series, for gifting to us something that is just as good, if not better. Thank you.
| Guest chapter 1 . 8/9
Loved this! Tried to post a more detailed review yesterday when I finished this but it wouldn't go through for some reason so expect the details for the next book
| Reader-anonymous-writer chapter 15 . 8/8
Exorcism, really? Do you live in a religious backwards neighbourhood?
Gimmick... Not shape-shifter, is he?..
Who kidnapped John Solomon? What is the ritual going to do? Potentially deadly.
Fairly sure that werewolves will either die or be locked in wolf-form.
Exo, Albus did not deliberately read the pamphlet. And, you need a friend to Portkey with you, to be your back-up.
Helio's children? Exo has sibling(s)? Protecting the ones he loved, multiple? Was Exo's mother under mind-control potion?
Aidan is clever, in a paranoid way. "Cure" is too risky. Better to not take part in ritual.
Sound-proof and smell-proof charms are important. And cover the snapped-twigs sound, too. Do not lose the cloak, the map, or the wands.
Who put the werewolves and Solomon into a Muggle ambush? Was Solomon under mind-control potion?
Centaurs... Thank you.
Botanimagus? Human-plant? Cute!
How did the Muggles find the pamphlets? Is it possible to get through Fidelius by accident, by reading Secret-Keeper's writing forgotten somewhere?
Do not forget. Do not forget. Harry is mistaken, I hope; Solomon is innocent?
Just take an Animagus with you for next ritual? Or Metamorphagus.
Chocolate helps against nightmares, I guess. And warm milk.
Have you cancelled Siren Song enchantment from pamphlet?
If anything, Albus's arrival spooked werewolves enough to increase chances of survival for the paranoid ones, like Fenrir's wife and child.
Squibs were the ones to kill Werewolves? Would solve Muggle-Fidelius paradox.
Thank you. Good day, good night, and good luck.
| Guest chapter 15 . 8/7
Another awesome story
| Faia Sakura chapter 1 . 8/6
James is so precious at the end!
Also, AHHHHH Auchland and Slade and Chinch, oh my! Rereading the series is certainly in exercise in not trying to reach into the screen and shake Harry around for a bit!
And Gimmick is adorbs!
| shiiki chapter 15 . 8/5
Did I mention before that on my reread, I'm still loving the ride? This story is so full of detail and tension and twists that it's hard to remember what happened when first time round, so I still get shocked and taken by surprise by stuff like the attack because I'd forgotten about it, and also how unexpected it is coming at the end of a chapter. You've definitely overturned typical story structures here, where the action can spring up at any moment, and it really keeps me guessing! I guess the format you're using to cut the books is by year, and it does make sense that things wouldn't just happen so neatly with the Hogwarts school year.
And moving on to book 3 now! Where it all starts heating up. Exciting!
| shiiki chapter 14 . 8/4
OMG THE SPRITES! I'm impressed, I had completely forgot that they were referenced here. See, this is what I mean by using little details that come back to be important. You're so good at that!
I really feel for Albus in this chapter, with his wanting to help his friends but being constrained by their wanting to go it alone. That's a tough spot to be in!
And the mind numbing potion was simply hilarious!
| shiiki chapter 13 . 8/4
As always, I'm a big fan of the duelling tournaments. You have plenty of new characters introduced, but you make them more familiar by tying back to the canon ones, like the Weasley crew.
Poor Alec, being underestimated because of his lack of bookishness. I get why he's a bit touchy about it, particularly at this age, though I wish he hadn't flown off the handle at Albus. Alana's reappearance was interesting, and I'm reviewing her support of Eftan in a different light though your explanation was masterly distraction!
And then there's the ARM letter. The first time round I was really sceptical, because more new stuff that's departing strongly from canon? Mostly because that sort of thing has the potential to be done really badly. But you've proved yourself to be the exception as I saw in later chapters.
So anyway this chapter was excellent set up while still maintaining a good pace and interesting scenes!
| shiiki chapter 12 . 8/4
Yay more duelling! I love the depth you give to these spells and the amount of thought that must have gone into the theory and their construction. Fascinating to see them put to use in a sporting context as well!
| shiiki chapter 11 . 8/3
More duelling! I love the tournaments and Desulgon's lesson for the four was an extra treat. You tell us he's a great duellist and instructor and then proceed to show us exactly why. Great job and describing it and showing us how the strategies work. You made it a real sport and I very much enjoyed that entire scene.
| shiiki chapter 10 . 8/3
My favourite bit of this chapter has to be the dialogue among the four friends when they venture out into the forest to retrieve the cloak. You hit their banter spot on, and it was a welcome relief from the tense arguments surrounding it, and the terror of the previous chapters.
That discussion between Harry, Wilcox and Albus though ... oh man, I don't know that I can see Harry doing that to Albus. Not that I think Albus was right-I was quite frustrated with his inability to see sense, because I felt the adults had the logic here. But threatening to take an experience away from him? It fit Wilcox's characterisation and how he deals with Exo so far, with that heavy-handed, 'I know best' attitude. Harry, not so much-I feel like he of all people would understand the need to own your own experiences and learn from coping with them. I'm glad he saw sense and didn't force Albus after all!
Interesting to see Firenze in the Forest. I take it you see him returning after DH instead of continuing with his teaching post? Or did he even manage to keep it during the Snape and Carrow regime? Hmmm there's a thought!