|Reviews for The Miscalculation Of Sasuke Uchiha|
| J Ken chapter 1 . 6/16/2013
This is a good story. xD Sasuke x Harley Quinn is really interesting. Keep it up Dawnboy.
| Celebi-Rose chapter 1 . 2/18/2013
Hello, its Celebi-Rose from serebii here to review the first chapter of The Miscalculation of Sasuke Uchicha.
First of all, I like how you have put a summary of the overall chapter at the start, as it really helps you understand the gist ofthe chapter to come. I like the fact that the first few paragraphs are full of emotion for Sasuke, his anger and vengeance toward those who drove Itachi to murder his clan, such as the people of his former village Konoha, giving a feeling of distrust and hatred, aswell as blind anger. I also like the idea of him searching Gotham city for a super villain to be his partner in crime, and him trying to catch up with the 'bat person' that we know as Batman. I think you've done really well at showing the outer character of Sasuke, with his seemingly irritable nature, constantly making aggravated grunts and being quite macho and full of negative and strong feelings. You have done really well!
But there are a few things I dislike about the chapter. For a start, you use openenings of sentences repetitively, for example,As he walked down the street' is the start of one sentence, but 'as he walked down' starts the next sentence aswell, making it sound boring and repetitive. Instead, you could write 'He encountered yet another street, which he walked across...' etc, giving your sentences more variety. Also, some of your sentences need commas but lack them. Read long sentences outloud and, if you find yourself pausing in the middle, or the sentence sounds too long/wrong, see if it would begrammatically correct to add a commar.
Overall, its a good plot with nicely fleshed out characters. I will read the other chapters when I have time, and review them.
Keep up the good work!
| KINGREADER chapter 4 . 12/1/2012
please keep writing this it's good as hell
| crimson11116 chapter 1 . 10/13/2012
so what happened to joker