|Reviews for Damaged|
| Oceanriversea chapter 12 . 9/16
This story was jus G. So much twist, so many surprises, so good. My favourite part is when Naruto is helping Sasuke with math. The bonding they made just warmed my heart. Then, it was Sasuke's turn to help Naruto reading... I nearly cried. It was so touching. I re-read the part a couple of times before moving on. It really got me. The fighting and shooting part was pretty exciting. I was continuously telling myself that it was over, that there was no turning back but I still had a lot more chapters to read so I didn't know how it was going to end! Just great, you are great. I love this. Beautiful.
| The Only Love For Soujiro Seta chapter 12 . 6/21
This was really good, I happen to be taking a math course now and had a convo with some friends of mine and they do not like math while I sit there like "i like math~" might not be good at it but I do enjoy it lol.
| Garmiet chapter 12 . 1/31
That's nice that Itachi found Naruto a place on a construction crew.
"He'd had no idea how much the noise of the home had bugged him." Interesting that he's not so used to it that the silence seems weird. _ _ "Dinner was at seven sharp every night, an affair that required everyone be present. Sasuke hated that." Yeah ... I can't blame him. Reminds me of my aunt. Not sure I'm a fan of this newfound strictness Itachi's got. Not sure where it came from. Feels like too much of a shift. Especially given how Sasuke has to choke down authority from the school, I imagine. I'd've thought it'd put a strain on the whole mending thing going on between them. _ _ Jeez ... if these guys were to take a holiday, couldn't they have done it in a less conspicuous way?
Didn't think Sasuke would be into the clubbing scene-it's noisy, crowded, and there's dancing... Then again he had no problem doing the happy dance at home to the family jam. _ _ "... their minds cleared enough to realize it was two o'clock in the morning. On a school night." They're gonna be in for it. -.-
"The cops were at the house." They are SO fucked. _ _ "All I ask is that you two respect this family." That puts my back up. Respect sounds so ... cold. Unfeeling. _ _ I think Itachi could've put up a better argument. _ _ Consequences sound fair to me, though. I do think they shouldn't keep to such a tight-ass schedule-just get some phones so they can call. _ _ "Sasuke, for his part, immediately launched into a furious tirade on how they would be better off on their own." Can't blame you, buddy. I know it's childish, but I actually do wonder. _ _ "Yeah, I guess you're right. But if he hits us again, you and I are going off on him." Deal.
"He hadn't been sure the tough love wouldn't push them away." Yeah, I'm surprised you went for that, Itachi. Doesn't seem like you in this one. _ _ "Sasuke just wished Naruto would accept it. As far as he was concerned, he'd done all he could to earn his trust." Yeah ... I'm not sure about Naruto's shyness either. I guess he needs to hear Sasuke say the commitment or something. Spell it out. Can't really fault him for that, though... Then again ... maybe he's just not ready yet.
"and a cell phone each." THERE ya go. _ _ Wicked-ass gifts, wow. _ _ "I know. I'm awesome." Lol. XD _ _ "blue, black, white, and red, his favorite colors." Huh, red's in there. Interesting. Oooh, the bag! :D GOD DAMN, IT'S AN ENTIRE SET! 8D _ _ What IS a V-card? _ _ "Brother dearest," LOL! XD
Interesting transformation in Sasuke... I honestly didn't think he'd recover from or leave that dark side. Not completely, if at all. There's hardly a trace now.
"Naruto took the stairs three at a time, but was dragged back by Sasuke's hand hooked into the waist of his jeans." LOL! X'D Oh wait, shit, that's not a case of slowing down, that's a total yoink backwards. Ouch.
Love how Naruto's telling Sasuke about his reticence. How nothing lasts... I wonder why he didn't bring this up before, though. _ _ "Because you don't break. I'm clumsy. With people, I mean. I say stuff, do stuff. I hurt you." Y'know ... I've been pleasantly surprised at how careful you've been for most of this story, Sasuke. Far less screw-ups than I feared. The knife thing was extreme, but you never repeated it. And nothing else you've done came close to that. _ _ "Naruto only felt a moment of shame. A brief sting of self-consciousness." Good description. The "sting" bit. _ _ I also like how Sasuke confesses to Naruto that he's "never done it with someone inexperienced." Good heads-up.
Heh-CD to cover up the sounds. Wonder if Itachi'll be fooled. OMG it's still at full volume! XD TURN THAT SHIT DOWN, GUYS! X'D ... he's probably not fooled, though. Like, "Hmm, last time I heard that playing that loudly, they were making out. Why'd they turn it on this time?" _ _ Love the repeated emphasis on "stay with me." _ _ "I thought you'd never ask." I'M SCREAMING IN ALL BUT VOICE RIGHT NOW! My throat is so clenched up, my face is so scrunched, just YEEEEK~ X333 THAT WAS SO DARLING! (reeeally wish I could make heart emotes on here.) _ _ "Sasuke couldn't ay he was any better." Typo: 'say' is missing the s. _ _ 'Shutting down, preparing to sleep. He was so comfortable. So unutterably spent and comfortable. "Again."' AH-! XD _ _ "The song started up again ..." Interesting. How long is the song, I wonder? Cuz if it's the usual song time, it's probably played a couple times already, at least. _ _ I'm not positive, but I THINK this is the first story I've read where Sasuke was on top. Wonder if that'll stay fixed with them.
Oh, hey, that wasn't the last scene! Sweet! :D _ _ "ponytail swinging". Yup. Mine does that too if I ever break out in wild dancing. :) _ _ THAT'S SO SWEET!
Alrighty. This was another good one! I had to warn myself going in that it might be darker than what I was used to, so I had to take a step or two back when I read. I knew someone was gonna get shot, someone was gonna die (turns out I was wrong, which isn't bad), and I saw a little of Sasuke's attitude in the beginning. Implications that I took to heart, and also kept in mind in case things went south later. BUT I knew it was gonna get into some really touching parts later. What I didn't know was how it would be a pretty steady climb of things getting better. That was a really sweet surprise. I love the lessons and tutoring, and the efforts Sasuke put into studying and being with Naruto. Iruka and Neji caused way less trouble than I was afraid of early on as well. I was also surprised as how this didn't quite become a thriller. The entire Oto scene was pretty thrillerific, but after that, not so much. The math and reading lessons scenes were very inspiring, bringing back good memories and making me wish I could be there in the room with them. I adore the scene of Itachi looking on and starting to cry. I can't say I felt similar, because I haven't been through the depths he has, but I empathized with him a bit. The story was much more heartwarming than I was expecting.
And I'm curious to see the sequel whenever it comes out. Unlike SM, Itachi and Neji exchanged only a couple of tense lines in this story, so not much to lead into (as far as we've seen, anyway). I'm curious to see how that'll continue. And I wonder if the fact that they both have canceled dreams of going to the Academy will become significant at all.
Thanks for writing this. I enjoyed it. :)
Btw, how'd you choose the song?
| Garmiet chapter 11 . 1/31
"His guilt stemmed from the momentary attraction he'd had for Neji ..." I forgot about that. It seemed pretty dang intense, though. Almost overwhelmingly so. _ _ "Some tortuous machine that had been inserted into his skin and cranked tighter with each passing day suddenly loosened." Very cool metaphor. "Tension he hadn't known he'd been carrying released. A headache he'd been ignoring for days withdrew its claws from his brain." Really like that description, too. _ _ Okay, you guys ... TALK. And don't say anything stupid. You guys are at a delicate situation right now, so don't fuck it up. _ _ Okay, good. There's the reason Sasuke was missing all this time... _ _ "Never. Just never." Well ... that's a relief. _ _ "Swear it! Swear it, you ass!" Lol! XDD _ _ "Where do you think I've been disappearing to at night? I mean, I hadn't made up my mind for sure to stay or go, but I knew I'd need more cash." "You were off stealing?" "Sure was." CALLED IT! Got the motive wrong, but CALLED IT! _ _ Oh hey, but he was looking for places for the home to move to! :D _ _ "... oblivious to the tears welling in Iruka's eyes ..." I haven't forgiven you, buddy. You seem to like him when he does good stuff or give you nice things, but one screw up and 'everyone's better off without Sasuke, guy shouldn't've even shown up.' Yeah, I get that you felt bad for Naruto, but you could've tried to make Naruto feel better, tell him that maybe Sasuke couldn't come to the home for a while because he was unable to. Suggest Naruto call him or something. Instead, you jumped on him being gone and staying gone. Didn't really help Naruto cope with it. _ _ "... and there are a few places were you can get..." Typo: 'were' should be 'where'. _ _ "All I did was look in the classified, Christ. Not like I did anything special." D'aww, he's all embarrassed. :) _ _ "Just then Iruka rounded the table, reaching to pull Sasuke into a hug. Naruto watched as Sasuke tried to tolerate this." Lol, Tolerate! Tried! X'D
That is quite a cool place. _ _ "He liked it better when he knew Sasuke was too fucked up to allow that kind of interaction." Okay, that's just a spoiled brat act, Naruto. You're more mature than that. Or so you've shown before. _ _ "He knew Sasuke was trying to maintain their friendship, or whatever it was they had, but that made things worse, if that was possible." Mopey. I get some of the anxiety about having to leave and missing seeing Sasuke, but ... it was this or no contact at all. That would DEFINITELY be MUCH worse.
I'm already missing the treehouse. _ _ I was wondering why Iruka hadn't offered some kind of arrangement for Naruto to stay before. Though I imagine Naruto wouldn't want to stay much. _ _ "Iruka privately thought that he would never forget the look on Naruto's face just then. The frowning mouth, the violently darkened eyes." How come? How is that significant to him?
If Sasuke is saving up a surprise for Naruto that involves a place to stay, his timing sucks. Naruto's a fucking mess.
"Surprise, freak. Thought we forgot?" Lol'd at the 'freak' bit, but wow. Definitely not the time. _ _ Oh hey, Neji's there! "I'd love to be friends." YAY! :DDD _ _ "Itachi ... looked Neji up and down with flat eyes, then pointedly ignored him." I know there's a sequel coming up, but what's that look about? He doesn't seem pleased. Flat gazes from Itachi are not happy gazes. Wait-"Maneuvering himself between Neji and Naruto..." and right after Neji said, "I'm still holding out hope for more." Something happen offscreen? _ _ "you know, Sasuke your -boyfriend-" Lol. _ _ '"You got beef with me?" Neji said to Itachi's ponytail. Before Itachi could answer, Sasuke pulled Naruto aside, leaving his brother to turn and face Neji with whatever smart comment he had ready.' WHAT'S GOING ON OVER THERE? _ _ "is for you to keep your fucking hands off my brother's man. I don't give a fuck who you are." Ohh, that's what's up. Nothing else going on, it seems. _ _ "You didn't tell me you were doing all that." "Yeah, well...I didn't want you to feel embarrassed or anything." That's a good reason, I guess. _ _ So Neji already thanked Sasuke. How'd that scene go down? _ _ "You're probably frustrated. Confined to that backyard, hence the whole Tarzan thing that Sasuke tells me about." LOOL! X'D _ _ Love how uncomfortable Sasuke is at the Arena. _ _ This guy at the Arena ... This has got to be either Lee or Gai. Dude's got some pretty big reactions. LOOOL, the way he addresses Sasuke as "friend," and so hyperly. XD _ _ "Chuck" ... who the hell are you? _ _ Sasuke doesn't like the noisy activity, huh? How's he gonna study in here? _ _ "Naruto felt a warm weight against his arm and looked down to see Chuck standing very close to him." The hell? Dude, back up. _ _ Damn it, I was hoping the guy was just hyper.
"this other boy boldly opened the front passenger door and regarded Itachi with shining eyes." WHO THE HELL ARE YOU? SCRAM, SON! _ _ Poor Sasuke. Though I like seeing Naruto crack up. _ _ Lol, love how they're all snickering over Chuck. Love seeing Sasuke laugh like that, with the soda coming out his nose and eyes streaming. XD _ _ "You're good people. A magnet for boys, but good people. I like you." "Thanks. Like you too." :D
"What, this stuff? It's here, man. Your books too. You coming in?" You little stinkers, you WERE planning on taking him in. XD _ _ "I'm having a heart attack, Naruto thought as calmly as he could." XD _ _ Nice house, damn. Jelly. _ _ "There's one in Itachi's room too, but that's his. Said he'd cut my dick off if I used it, so I assume that applies to you too." LOOL! I always figured you never used private bathrooms unless there was absolutely no alternative, but it was always an unspoken rule to me. Why the statement from Itachi? XD _ _ 'Naruto whirled around. "-What- is going -on-?" Poor guy, he's so overwhelmed. Like SO overwhelmed. _ _ "I didn't ask if you wanted to stay with us because I don't always get you. You...get weird over things, and I don't always understand why." True. "We're friends. Did you think I'd let you sleep in the street?" Awww. "I figured I'd bring you here, and you know...just hope you didn't hate me for it." AWWW. T.T _ _ "I said I'm going to kill you!" Lol! XD _ _ "Naruto tried to tackle Itachi as well, but he was a good deal more athletic than Sasuke." Remembering how he caught Sasuke's swings at him earlier in the story. How athletic, though? I'm wondering. _ _ Love how Itachi makes it clear that Naruto's not required to keep the place running or anything. "You're one of us, not our slave. You don't pay rent here, either in money or services. Okay?" OKAY! :') _ _ "Sasuke...how could you do this for me?" "How could I not?" NNNGGGH~! SO SWEET-! T.T _ _ "Looking at Sasuke, all tears gone now, he knew without a doubt that he would kill for him. He would kill for Sasuke." Love that. Love how it's stated twice.
| Garmiet chapter 11 . 1/31
"I think the summer's over. He's been staying away from the home more and more often and now he's just...gone. All right? I know you miss him, but I never thought he'd stay as long as he did. You had a friend. That was-" Boy, you suck, Iruka. _ _ "He's a drifter. Intelligent, but then intelligent people tend to get bored easily by..." REALLY suck, jeezus! Can it! :(
'"Expecting someone else?" Neji said.' LOOL! Okay, that's awful, but kinda funny cuz he's already being yelled at, and he's like, 'um, hello?' X'DD _ _ Trying to picture the hair, and failing. :S Poor guy. How's he doing? (Btw, Neji, your timing sucks. Both guys are on the verge of something, and you bring interference. Not that I'm not glad to see you, though.) _ _ 'Finally working up enough moisture in his mouth to moisten his lips, Naruto said, "Dude."' XD _ _ "Naruto thought it rather hard -not- to see." Oh shit. Sasuke better not catch you looking. _ _ "Academy only takes people who've had no major health issues in the past. Brain surgery pretty much canceled my plans." Now I feel bad for him. His dream... God, I'm really curious about how his stay in the hospital went. How'd he wake up? What was his reaction upon seeing Hinata (how does he even interact with her generally)? How'd he deal with learning his dream crashed down? (For that, I could see him distracting himself with the workouts, but still.) _ _ Don't think Sasuke will want your thanks, but the gesture is nice. _ _ "Actually, I came to see if you were up for more than friendship." OHO! Are you serious? Gonna give the relationship thing a try, Neji? _ _ Wait. "Are you and Sasuke a thing?" "I...what?" "Hinata says you guys might be a thing. Are you?" "What-What's that mean, a thing?" "Is he your boyfriend?" Dude, slow the hell down, you just walked in the door. _ _ "Just want to make sure I'm not marking someone else's territory." Nice thought behind it, but coming from him, that wording is a little weird to me. Though it shouldn't be. _ _ "I believe he's interested in you. Attracted to you. And he intends to act on his interest and attraction. You, having said you're available, just gave him the green light." Knew it. -.- Naruto was so overwhelmed he didn't give a clear answer, and Neji just took it for what it might be. God... what a mess. _ _ "Iruka laughed. Made his way to the back of the home where he slept, and just laughed." I ... I think I might hate you, Iruka. You, sir, are an asshole. (Naw, I don't really hate him, but I don't like the guy.)
Naruto, if you want a relationship with Sasuke, you better ask NOW, and start talking to him about it. Cuz between these two guys who are into you, things can get ugly for everybody real quick. Or at the least come crashing horribly. _ _ "And the idea of getting Sasuke back for leaving him like this was soothing. Fucked up, but soothing nonetheless." Oh no you fucking don't, Naruto. You'll be in for so much hurt... _ _ "He might have left the city entirely. This morning might have been the last time you'll ever see him again." You really think he'd leave without saying goodbye? After all that's happened so far?
Try calling him, Naruto. _ _ Um, the phone, Naruto? (Though now I'm beginning to wonder why Sasuke hasn't been in touch this long. There better be a good reason for not giving Naruto a heads-up.)
"as if the ascent hadn't been ay trouble." Typo: 'any' is missing the n. _ _ "doing a Taylor Swift," LOL! What's that mean! XD _ _ Okay ... For once Neji seems to be acting a little more reasonable. Though, that bulging crotch bit is making me wonder what he's really thinking right now. _ _ "Just having Neji in the tree house felt like a betrayal to Sasuke." Huh. So I'm not alone in feeling like that either. Though, I don't think anything wrong was done either. Just feels wrong. _ _ SIIIIIGHHH, Sasuke, where the fuck are you?
Eeeeesh ... all those memories coming back to the surface. _ _ Oh boy, and here's Itachi's own guilt coming out. _ _ "You have no idea how much I hate medicine. Hate it, fucking -hate- it ..." That's kind of why I thought him picking up Sasuke's dream for him was a bad idea. "... but I was trying to hold on to my brother, any part of him, any part of how he used to be." I feel for you, man, but STILL-I'm not sure that part worked well for either of you. _ _ Love seeing Itachi lay himself open like that. _ _ "Back then Itachi had been a solemn, serious brother with dreams of entering the Academy." Huh. Did he change his opinion on the Academy over time? _ _ Watching Sasuke sort-of-hug Itachi, and hearing Itachi's confession to Sasuke and all that's happening ... I'm not crying, but my eyes are definitely a bit warm. _ _ 'His brother needed him. "I'm here," he whispered.' 'Bout time he started considering his brother a bit. And d'awwww.
"An argument could be made for him having killed his parents, just as one could be made for his brother's culpability." Nicely said. "But if he believed, as he surely did, that an equal argument could be made for Itachi's innocence, he must then follow the same logic and say that one could be made for his as well." Also nicely said. _ _ Love the dialogue. _ _ LOVE IT.
[Had to close down my laptop at this point and pick this up the next day.]
'Sasuke froze. "Shit."' Yeah. And don't freak out once you get your ass over there.
'"I think Neji's learned his lesson. So has Naruto." His eyes bored into Sasuke's.' FUCK YOU, YOU FICKLE CHEAPSKATE! _ _ Sasuke, you REALLY should've called at some point. Though ... I guess it's interesting that he doesn't know just HOW latched Naruto was onto him. 8 days does seem like a lot if you compare it to how much they'd been hanging out already. Would've thought Sasuke would've thought of that.
"I kind of think I should feel more than like if I'm going to be kissing someone." "Not necessarily. People kiss for a lot less." "I don't think I'm one of those kinds of people then." Interesting exchange. (By the way, I can't stop myself from assuming the worst. That Sasuke's not going to be forgiving. Sorry, but situations like these are MADE to make one tense.) _ _ "Neji, seeing the serious expression in those blue eyes that he couldn't seem to stop thinking about, stopped breathing. He almost missed what was being said." Seems rare to me that we get something from Neji's POV in this story. At least, something that intense, anyway. The other two times were more observations than internal stuff. _ _ "Because if it's just the timing-" "Neji." "... Okay." Love that exchange. _ _ '"You coming back?" When he got no answer, he looked around to find that Neji was gone.' I really hope he reconsiders the friend thing. Cuz that was a really sweet request Naruto gave. Though, if Naruto and Sasuke do end up together, things might get tense between Sasuke and Neji... Hmm, maybe it's not a good idea. _ _ "And Sasuke was leaning against a tree not too far away, watching him." What do you gather, Sasuke? Better not be anything stupid.
| Garmiet chapter 10 . 1/31
"... Naruto was definitely challenged in some way. Sometimes a word he'd been reading perfectly for days suddenly didn't make sense to him anymore. He would have to re-learn it, or else he sometimes forgot the rules they'd learned and have to go back and re-learn those before moving forward." Think some of that might be the age? Harder for some stuff to sink in and take root there? _ _ "At discovering the compassion he had for the other students ... Sasuke thought he would commit suicide. It -disgusted- him how he was unable to deny a five-year-old help on writing the letter E, or a preteen advice on sentence structure." Heh-I can relate to that slightly. Like, 'fuck my nice side, I can't even say no to a kid, goddammit, thought I was above all that.' _ _ "But I'm in love with him. Fuck!" Interesting how he admits that to himself.
Hang on: "... but everything he did was for them was for his sake, not the kids'." I think there's an extra 'was' in that sentence. The first one. _ _ "... no matter how stupid he was." What did Sasuke tell you about that word? _ _ "I was in love with him before. Now I'm just fucked." Lol. _ _ "Why won't you stay with me?" "Why don't you want me to touch you?" TALK, you two.
"Sasuke inviting Naruto to his place for dinner at Itachi's request." Ooh, THAT'S cool! _ _ "Think he'll sing the b-day song?" "Ugh, -stop- it." I feel you. Creepy song. ... "But he's been sick since his service at the home." Uh-oh, hope it's not serious. _ _ "I mean acting gross." Oh. Jeez, Sasuke, YOU stop it! _ _ "You think of the tree house as home?" "Yeah? I mean, I feel more at home there than I have in any place since my parents. What?" "Nothing. Just...that makes me feel good." D'awwww. X-)
'Itachi cleared his throat. "The roast suffered an accident."' Awww. Poor guy, he tried so hard...Probably got distracted. _ _ Wonder if Itachi's just making friendly small talk, or if he's planning something. _ _ '"You won't be around to help him out with that, though, will you?" Itachi said off-handedly.' Definitely up to something. _ _ "Was Sasuke a good boyfriend?" GOTCHA! XD _ _ Love seeing Itachi be able to laugh, though I wonder if that topic's gonna bring that hidden topic out from under the rug between the two and if it'll turn ugly. Itachi has no idea, does he.
Okay, nevermind. No follow-up. _ _ "...one of the older boys pointed out, since Iruka hadn't bothered teaching them before, why would he start now? That boy went without dessert that night." ... sounds like a good question to me, though. :-
Moment of truth. What are you gonna do, Sasuke? And you better tell him some shit now, Naruto. _ _ "Psh, end of summer, what the fuck? We got -plenty- of time." SIIIIIGHHH... you guys... -.-
Yeah, I'm wondering if Sasuke's eager or resigned to going back to the dark stuff. _ _ Boy, Naruto picked up intense carpentry and repairwork QUICK. Wow. _ _ Yeah, Naruto's got great ideas for redoing the place, but that still leaves the question of where the kids are going to go in the meantime. _ _ Heh. "You mean how I said that being a doctor isn't what you do it's who you are?" "Yes." "So that's your calling, then?" "..." Awkward. _ _ Sasuke might be grabbing some extra cash to make Naruto's dream a reality. Maybe.
Okay, so Sasuke isn't eager for ending things with Naruto either. Quite reluctant, it seems. _ _ "Guy was...not idealistic, but definitely the relationship type, he could tell." Uhhhh ... okay, so he might've picked up on Naruto wanting a relationship ... and Sasuke's balking at that. Maybe. Hm BUT ... he doesn't want to separate from Naruto either in a permanent way. Sooo ... I dunno what exactly he wants. Maybe he doesn't know either? _ _ "Maybe sex was something he only wanted to do with a boyfriend? Well, he didn't do boyfriend. Ever." Yup. That's it. Well, too bad, Sasuke. And I don't buy that BS excuse; you're already doing the boyfriend thing in all but name. Even good committed or dating couples stop before going "all the way" if one of them isn't comfortable. _ _ "But you want to. Admit it, if he said he wanted you to be his you'd jump at the chance." That's good to know. At least he admits to that. But shit, Naruto doesn't want to ask Sasuke for anything... Sasuke, you may have to make the offer yourself to give it a try. _ _ "well, he could start over. Be someone else. Someone who hadn't killed his parents, who didn't have a brother whose eyes asked the same questions Naruto's silences did. Someone...new. Good. Undamaged." That ain't happening. Nope. _ _ "If he stayed, though... It would mean a lot of things. Dealing with...shit. Ugh." It seemed to come out okay earlier on. That's partly how you got so close to Naruto. He's dealt with some of your shit already, and it wasn't the end of the world. So come on. Take it slow if you have to. You'll definitely have to deal with shit if you don't. _ _ "He might be okay with the grifter lifestyle for awhile," Grifter? I've heard of it being called 'drifter'. _ _ "And Sasuke wanted to be that guy. Someone worthy of Naruto's respect." WELL?
Awwwwww... :'( _ _ That must've hurt Sasuke to let all that out, but I wonder if part of it felt good for him. Good sounds like the wrong word, but ... I dunno, something. Therapeutic. The release. _ _ "You don't deserve it which just makes me hate you more." Interesting how he admits that Itachi doesn't deserve it. _ _ I love you, Itachi. _ _ "He just firmly believed it hadn't been his fault. -Really- believed... He didn't even say anything about being hated. Didn't matter to him, Sasuke guessed. Because he knew deep down he wasn't hated." Love all that. _ _ "Huh. Something that had been such an integral part of his life. Something that had ruled his life for ten damn years. And it wasn't even real. Just a front. A mask for the real deal. His brother knew him. 'I don't know myself.'" Love that realization. _ _ "And he didn't know if he could let it go." It ain't easy. And it's gimungous and super clingy. _ _ "I'll try." :')
How difficult was this chapter, btw?
| Garmiet chapter 10 . 1/31
And Itachi's home. That could break something up. _ _ Holy shit, a horde of angry neighbors.
'"Neighbors are ready to call the cops." That was it. He made a tactful exit and shut his brother's door behind him.' Nice. :D _ _ "That song, more than anything else, told him in no uncertain terms that his brother was back." But back to stay? "That he was finally healing." Ah, okay. Yeah. But there's no way this is going to stay this smooth. _ _ "But then he remembered how fucked things were between him and Sasuke ..." Give it some more time, man. He may still come around. Naruto's certainly not letting it go.
Interesting. Relief that Naruto hadn't done anything with Neji, but uncomfortable about Naruto being a virgin. Wonder why, exactly. Is it mainly because Itachi just came home, or does he feel he might leave some kind of lasting influence? Or that he might do something wrong? Or just how Naruto might react?
Uh-oh. Iruka's about to put his foot down on something. _ _ "And let's not forget the fact that you're having an illegal relationship with a minor." Wait, what? _ _ Ooooh, baaaad girl, Hinata. Baaaad boy, Iruka. Shame on you both.
"Consensual or not, she's a minor." So are both of you, technically. So you can BOTH get in trouble for doing stuff with a minor.
"... especially since he had a condom clutched in one fist." Not in your mouth, Sasuke? XD Also, is it a definite plan, or JIC? _ _ "... but he wasn't ready for this step in their relationship." SAY IT NOW, NARUTO. _ _ "Oh. ... Seemed ready?" Dumbass. At least he knows what "stop" means, thank god. _ _ "Sasuke didn't like how much this rejection hurt. This, right here, was why he didn't do relationships." Wuss... Yeah, I know that's probably unfair and unjust, but yeah. Naruto just said he wasn't ready, have a little patience. Better than finding out too late after damage had been done, right? Unless you can find some way to hide from it. _ _ And neither of these guys knows how to do relationships. Christ. What a headache.
'Naruto suddenly turned to Sasuke and kissed him. "I'm sorry. I'm sorry," he kept saying over and over, between kisses.' FAAA, STUPID. _ _ "Sasuke had been leery of continuing the kiss, opting to keep his distance lest another rejection was issued." Probably smart in that case. _ _ "How could he tell Sasuke that he didn't want to give himself up for a summer fling?" He told Neji alright. Mostly. Until he made that dumbass bargain. I'm guessing he's afraid of scaring Sasuke off for good before the time Sasuke plans to take off. _ _ And he doesn't really know jack about how to handle the situation. _ _ "And he didn't like the discovery that he'd be willing to let himself be used for sex just to make someone else happy." Particularly someone you can't rely on.
Orange book with "a creature on it, one who seemed to be holding a platter of rotten eggs and an equally rotten haunch of meat." I know that book! :) Ooh, he's gonna try to teach Naruto to read! :D _ _ "... You're not a teacher either." Lol, that's what I thought. _ _ "I know it's embarrassing, man. I feel the same way about math, especially since you're such a freak with it, but...dude, you saw me at my worst. You-... You saw me stab a guy. Took my bloody hand and said it was okay. Just let me help, all right? I won't laugh, I promise." Awww. :')
Lol, Sasuke's response to Naruto's eagerness: "Riiiight. I'll do my best." XD Also love how he explains in no uncertain terms what "stupid" and "dumb" mean and how neither of them apply to Naruto. Also, not to use them as excuses/blocks. _ _ "... putting numbers in different places changes the value of the number and junk?" "What, you mean fractions and decimals? How a smaller number means a greater value if the number is less than one, but a greater number means a greater value if it's more than one?" "Uh, yeah. (*dizzy*)" XD That's cute. _ _ "They make sounds. Depending on what kind of picture is next to them, they make different sounds." Clever. _ _ Oh boy, not a private lesson this time. Extra students coming in. You game for that, Sasuke?
"Sasuke, sick to death of the other kids," Lol, not so much game for it. XD _ _ I LOVED learning to read. Loved it. And it must be elating for Naruto to make progress at it. _ _ "Kiss me." Seriously, Naruto, quit sending out vague messages. It's frustrating to everybody.
"That he couldn't give himself to someone who'd killed his parents." Ohhh ... then what was that bit about "not doing relationships because of..." whatever it was? "Now he just thought maybe Naruto might be insecure for reasons he didn't know." Well, at least you thought about it when you'd calmed down. Good on ya for that. :) _ _ "For Naruto, though he lived in fear of driving Sasuke away by continuing to refuse sex, he was adamant about not giving himself up for a summer fling." You know, Sasuke's had to expose his vulnerabilities a lot to you, man. Told all his dark secrets and risked you backing off. And he hasn't given up on you in other areas, so maybe you can expose this insecurity to him? Let him know where things stand so he can figure out how to proceed? Just a thought. And he's come a long way when it comes to dealing with some stuff since he met you, sooo ... I dunno, I think it might be worth a shot. _ _ "... since all the kids were now his students." Boy, you're patient, considering you got more than you signed up for there. _ _ "The fuck was an appositive?" No idea. XD _ _ Sasuke, you make one hell of a tutor.
"As far as he was concerned, Sasuke could do no wrong now..." Make up your damn mind, Iruka. _ _ "When he came back, he'd had his disgruntled brother with him, who'd set about signing himself up for a week of med service to the home." LOOOL! That "disgruntled" bit! "When he came back, he'd had his disgruntled brother with him ..." Lo-o-ol. X'D I know this isn't what's happening, but the wording of that makes me picture Sasuke leading Itachi into the place by his hand, while Itachi scowls, sighs and mutters under his breath. X'D _ _ "Iruka put a stop to that when Naruto carefully laid the word 'vomit' next to a puddle of the stuff instead of cleaning it up.' (*snort*) Dude. X-)
It just occurred to me that we never did hear everything that Iruka told Itachi about Naruto. Wonder if something might be hidden in there that'll come up. _ _ Love that description of Sasuke sleeping, and Naruto just staring at him.
"Sasuke asked for a bedtime story." Test time. :)
| Garmiet chapter 9 . 1/31
Guess I'll find out what Chumbawumba is.
Must be Itachi on the phone. _ _ "Twelve hour bracket, though he's here 18 hours a day." Some of which probably includes sleeping. :) _ _ Boy, if Itachi comes over, or brings this up, that's gonna throw Sasuke off his game. _ _ "I'm coming down there." Uh-oh.
Yeah, I don't blame Sasuke for sneaking a copy of the exam ahead of time. He needs all the help he can get with the math. _ _ "Wish you could take it for me." "Me too." Uh-oh. I'm stupidly getting images of Naruto taking the exam and Sasuke memorizing the answers. I'm telling myself it won't come to that, though. _ _ "Because it's not words, man! It's all sorts of meaningless squiggle lines and shapes and shit I don't understand." Out of curiosity, what kind of science classes does Sasuke take, if any? Cuz Physics and Chem might have stuff like that too... He might be able to avoid some of it with Biology, though ... and that might also mix in with med stuff a little bit. Also, if it's because it's not words that's the sticking point, how would he be with the written problems that give the hypothetical scenarios?
Stay hidden, Itachi. _ _ "Sasuke suddenly threw his head back and laughed, he had to turn away and cover his streaming eyes with a thumb and forefinger." AWWWW! T_T (hearts galore)
"Last I had seen him, he and Naruto had been shot at." Ohhhh shit. _ _ "I don't know that I can allow your brother to remain here or in contact with Naruto, if he's going to be exposing him to that kind of danger." Poor Iruka, he keeps going back and forth, back and forth. 'This could be a good thing; naw, it sounds bad; but it looks really good; BUT IT SOUNDS REALLY BAD...' I can understand his dilemma, though, and I like how he's considering both sides pretty well. But he does seem to swing back and forth a lot. With increasingly wider arcs. _ _ "But I don't think he will revert." Uhhh ... he hasn't changed overnight. He's in the middle of an alright phase, is all. Though Itachi's right that Naruto's having a strong effect on him that might be changing him. _ _ "...but Sasuke seems to have an positive affect on him." Two typos: 'AN positive' and 'affect' (should be 'effect', I believe). _ _ "Huh. Two negatives becoming positive, what are the odds?" Lol.
"But then Sasuke had looked up suddenly and caught him staring." Wonder if he did that deliberately. Like, 'ah, he's looking at me again. Okay, time to confront. Three, two, one, EYE CONTACT-! Gotcha.' _ _ "I like you." "I like you too." "A lot." "Me too." Awww. :) _ _ "And Naruto stood up, saying they were done for the night." Huh. Wonder what's going on there. Insecurity, sure, but about what exactly? That Sasuke might go away? "Sasuke scared him. Whenever they had those moments, he scared him a lot." Is that how Naruto's feeling, or is that Sasuke's interpretation of Naruto's behavior?
"A brand new trashcan shaped like a frog," I SEE YOU, RANDOM FROG THING! XD _ _ "Tomorrow. He'd do something then." Oh boy.
"I think it's because you can't face your brother." Annnd this is gonna be a tense one. _ _ Naruto's laying things out bare that Sasuke doesn't want to face. That's gonna hurt. _ _ No escape here, Sasuke. _ _ Interesting how Naruto's aware of possible hypocrisy in his actions... And yeah, the reluctance of entering into a temporary relationship.
"But Sasuke let out a harsh exhalation, and ran to his room." It WOULD be hard, I can't blame him there.
"But if he does...something, I'll fall. Barely hanging on as it is. I don't want to fall in love with him. I don't even know what love is." I actually kind of like how Naruto's so cautious about the whole situation and is trying desperately to not fall into a trap he can't dig himself out of. Well ... he seems to have already, but he doesn't want to make it worse.
"...and didn't stir till the afternoon." Sometimes I don't know if 'till' is used correctly there. Like, I think it's supposed to be ' 'til '. But I can never be sure. :\ _ _ "...main room of the tree house..." I'm really curious to see a floorplan of the treehouse. I haven't really been in or seen many, except single-room ones that are pretty small. I'm curious... Heh-and it just occurred to me: "hidden in the tree leaves." :) _ _ "It was actually a D, but she gave me points for effort." That was nice... I think. Don't know if I trust her. _ _ "I'm taking you to my place later. Cleared it with Iruka." Interesting. _ _ Love how wary Naruto is around Sasuke. That Sasuke might attack him or go off on him while alone and away from the home. I really hope that doesn't happen, and that Sasuke's agitated because he's going where he hasn't really gone before, a place that's even more forbidden than what he showed to Naruto before. _ _ "He'd take his chances." Got my fingers crossed. X(
"I like it. Let's listen again." "No." "Just one more time? Please?" What are you up to, Naruto? Trying to discourage him from locking it away? _ _ Wait, when did Naruto start dancing to it? _ _ Oooh, cute, dance-off. Heh-I can't picture myself letting go like that in a new situation with somebody. Can't quite understand the dance bit. :); _ _ "Whenever the verse about next-door neighbors came on, it only cracked them up harder." Lol.
Kiss suddenly sprung on Naruto when Naruto had his guard down. Oh boy. _ _ Oh man ... this is gonna get so tense later... ;_;
| Garmiet chapter 8 . 1/31
"Sasuke? ... I'm glad you came back." "(*pretty smile*) Yeah...me too. I mean whatever." Lol, cute. :) _ _ And Naruto's starstruck. :) Gorgeous Guy Smiles seem to do that to him. It's making me think back to around the time Neji tried to come onto him: "Under normal circumstances, Naruto might have been flattered...if he was sure he was into boys. He wasn't sure. He'd never been romantically involved with anyone, nor had a lot of prospects come his way over the years." I find that interesting. He seems to take into account that he might just be a bit desperate. I wonder if now he can say he IS sure, after he's seen Sasuke smile so brilliantly and he reacted to it. And he also admitted that Itachi's hot.
"Hormonally challenged girls." Not sure I've heard that phrase. Does that mean they've got 2 tons of makeup and flashy clothes on and are way too obsessed with boys & beauty? _ _ Heh-Naruto's reliving the smile, Sasuke's reliving the chest bump and promise. _ _ Never heard of a teacher allowed to make that type of comment and be allowed to stay on, summer school included. I've seen some rude-ass teachers with shitty attitudes, but lord.
"... and there it was, the smile he hadn't stopped seeing since that morning." He was eager to see you too. :) _ _ "And you brought food." Awww.
'"Before I forget, hand me that Algebra book behind you." Naruto pretended not to hear.' Why? _ _ "This is Geometry. I said Algebra." Ohhh. Dyslexic? _ _ Oooh, mad subject. Shoe's on the other foot now. _ _ Uh-oh, may not know Algebra either. ... Too advanced, or is it because of the letters? And why the hell would Iruka say that Naruto's a whiz at math? _ _ 121 x 121 14,641 And without hesitation? Yikes. That IS impressive. _ _ Jeezus, and he just keeps going. Holy shit. _ _ Okay, THIS is cool. Naruto's learning that math stuff. Hopefully he can get it well enough to give Sasuke a rushed crash course before the test. I'm guessing Naruto might have trouble with the written problems, though, if he can't read.
Interesting how numbers click so quickly to him. Wow. _ _ "Fucking genius in his own right." Yup.
"Naruto closed the Calculus textbook with a sigh." HOLY SHIT. It's only been a few hours! _ _ Love it how Sasuke hasn't quite worked up the nerve to come onto Naruto. Different situation from the "fair share of twinks" he'd "sampled," and he knows it. This is unique on several levels. _ _ Ah, yup, there it is: "Naruto was no trickin' twink down in Oto." :D Heh, he's all, 'whatdoIdo, whatdoIDO, whatdoIevenDOO, fuuuck...'
"Naruto intended to give him a refresher course on math, Uzumaki style." That I GOTTA see. "Iruka found a battered whiteboard for them to use, and a few dry erase markers." That's nice! :) _ _ 9 7 ? Interesting. Takes me a second when sprung on me like that, though not with the 'deer in the headlights' look/feel. Unless it's my aunt asking, but that's cuz I feel the judgment. _ _ "Fourteen?" Uh-oh. _ _ No shame in using fingers, Sasuke. :) _ _ Love how Iruka seems to like what he sees. "What do you know... Kid surprised me after all. And changed Naruto completely." I love that.
"You know it that quick?" "No...but it's in my head." Nice. I like. _ _ "Let me show you what happens when we add zeros in the mix." Smart. Zeros do confuse things a bit. :)
'When he was done, he sat back and stared at his handiwork, eyes nearly shining with pride. "Holy shit, I did it. I actually did it."' Love the expression and feeling. I wonder how much it makes sense to him at this point. _ _ "he hated some of the things Sasuke did, and his attitude... while at the same time applauding it in some dark, violent part of himself. Sasuke did all the things he didn't have the balls to do." I THINK I can relate to that a bit... I also like how it emphasizes that being around Sasuke isn't easy and it takes work for him.
| Garmiet chapter 7 . 1/28
Really wonder what's going on with Sasuke. He embraces the dark life, but feels guilty about the ones outside of it that get hurt in the process. It's interesting. I feel so bad for Itachi, though. Guy's so helpless. It's making me think back to when he said "don't come back." He didn't know anything specific back then, but now ... I don't know how he can deal. ;_;
Oh god. Sasuke ... :'( (he just started crying) _ _ "it couldn't be more than ninety minutes since Sasuke had told him to get a life." By that time logic, it counts to say that Naruto had JUST fallen asleep. God. What a night. _ _ Wait. Naruto sleeps in his tree house? I missed that. Thought he had a room in the house and just came up to his own tree house when he could. _ _ Wonder how long this arrangement will last. Then again, Sasuke might not stay that long. Might feel better when he wakes up with his guards back.
"He had a hazy memory of Iruka's worried face leaning over him ..." Did the guy see Sasuke there? Or did Sasuke wake up & hide, or leave & come back? _ _ Heh-Naruto slept all day. _ _ "I killed my parents." ... I'm listening. _ _ "Maybe, if he was very quiet, and very still, he would learn just why Sasuke was the way he was." Kind of reminds me of dealing with some shy, half-feral animals; no sudden moves or sounds. _ _ Oh jeez ... that poor kid... And he was trying to HELP his parents. _ _ "I was their prodigy, they said. Their genius kid." That's a switch! _ _ Jeez ... that's kind of a lot for a little kid. Genius or not. The hell... _ _ Ah, THERE'S Sakura! At some point when Sasuke was doing a bunch of med stuff (can't remember which chapter or scene), I was wondering where Sakura was and if she had a med background. _ _ Well ... I definitely think Sasuke was too young to be learning medicine that intensely. I mean, trivia now & then is one thing. But jeez, adults, take a bit of responsibility! If anything, it encouraged him to try to save them while he could. And the guilt he had to have been feeling as a kid. _ _ Uncle, huh? _ _ "Well, if you won't pursue your dream, I'll pursue it for you." Don't know what to think of that. _ _ Poor Itachi. _ _ "Medicine has to be one of the few places where all the unfairness in the world just gathers and piles up." Interesting take. _ _ Really mature speech for this kid. Like, unbelievably mature. _ _ God. I wouldn't have the balls to say all that stuff that Naruto said, if I was in that situation. Wow. _ _ "You coming?" Dude, I don't know if Iruka can stomach having Sasuke around much more. Unless you guys plan to go out to a restaurant.
Oh yeah, it's night. ... I'm worried about Itachi. (Like, I empathize a little bit about Sasuke's more self-destructive side, but at least make an effort for the people who love him. Then again ... I don't have that kind of event in my past throwing up inner conflict.) _ _ Naruto's a whiz at math, though, according to Iruka. _ _ Heh-Naruto's the PE kid, too. _ _ "My memory doesn't help. I just don't get math. Me and numbers don't mix. They don't make sense." Interesting. _ _ "Numbers are the only thing that make sense." Heh-I kinda agree. Lots of rules, but they don't really change. Not as much left to interpretation with them. _ _ Heh-interesting. Sasuke DOES want Naruto as a friend, but doesn't want to ask so clearly. "Well, I...things are different now." :) _ _ "If I'm not going to tell how you stabbed some guy, or cried, or saved fifty people tonight ..." You know you're not exactly in a private place, Naruto? Someone could've heard you guys talking and came to investigate. Could be lurking in the stairwell. _ _ "To his dismay, Sasuke needed several seconds to recover ..." Lol. Cute. :)
"Sasuke thought he could handle Iruka." I wonder...
In hindsight, Itachi's choice to live Sasuke's dream for him SOUNDS noble, but I don't think it's a good idea. It doesn't help either of them, unless Itachi genuinely wanted to go into the business anyway, which I'm not sure he did. So ... that doesn't seem like a great choice on his part.
Also, Naruto's pretty dang smart to me. Not intellectually smart, but he seems to get people.
| Garmiet chapter 6 . 1/28
"You never ratted someone out." Interesting how that applies to help as well as harm. _ _ "They gave him one stare and he told everything he knew, suspected, or thought." Crap. _ _ ... They're not going to be getting out of this one easily. Especially Sasuke. He might be fucked.
Well, Sasuke seems back to himself now. Not sure if that's a plus or not.
Hang on, does Sasuke still have the knapsack with cash? _ _ "As if they were out on some kind of fun adventure." Probably trying to stay positive. And he did just witness Sasuke do some amazing stuff. _ _ Love how Sasuke's walls came back up, and he's all pissed that he let his guard down so much. _ _ Oh god, never mind Itachi, IRUKA'S probably been shitting himself for hours. And Hinata's going to hear about her cousin eventually.
"God, you make me sick." Ouch. Like ... really ouch. And not long after Naruto thought about keeping him. That's gonna take work. _ _ "What's wrong with you? Why are you being so mean?" Love that question at this time. _ _ Holy crap, Sasuke, eeeeaaaasy there. (Knife just came out.) _ _ Yup. Sasuke's scared. _ _ "And you don't have to be mad you cried in front of me, or embarrassed about what you told me." LOOOL! Didn't sink in, Sasuke! XD _ _ "Cut me, then." Ooooooh, calling it! 8D (Seriously, my eyes are darting back and forth between these two guys while holding myself stiffly forward, grinning slightly in anticipation.) _ _ Okay ... he cut him. Not smiling anymore. Wtaf... _ _ "It's because you're my friend. And I'll keep your secrets no matter what they are." Careful, dude... Keep them, but don't feel beholden to him... _ _ "You've already played your hand; I know the feel of your knife now, so I'm not likely to run every time you threaten me with it." Nice. _ _ Wait. "Sasuke took a swing at Naruto, but Naruto jabbed instinctively, and caught Sasuke on the chin." I'm guessing this isn't related to Naruto's not knowing how to really fight. _ _ "his silent rage at Naruto hitting the nail so squarely on the head." Bus-teddd... _ _ No, seriously, what IS Naruto going to tell Iruka? If he sees Naruto with Sasuke ... and if not, the last person he saw him with was Neji.
"Itachi looked up from his books at hearing the key in the door and just stared." Loool, I'll bet. XD _ _ Uh-oh. Itachi ain't gonna fuck around this time, son.
Lol, love how Sasuke's just kinda shaking his head at Naruto's fascination with the bathroom, like, 'dork.' _ _ Love how they finally see what they look like. "No wonder Itachi had looked insane with worry." :) _ _ Love how Sasuke just tells Naruto that he's not good for Naruto. _ _ "I can decide when I've had enough, or what's too much for me." GOOD. _ _ Love the quiet, prolonged eye contact. _ _ "That old interest he'd felt when first laying eyes on Naruto, the kick in his gut that had come at seeing Naruto's irate face, came back tenfold ..." That sentence made me go back and reread those lines in chapter one: "His insides lurched in response to the fuming animosity on that face. It was like seeing the embodiment of his own feelings, his hate and rage personified, and it gladdened him as nothing else about this place had." Really jumps out now. Was really subtle to me back then. _ _ "Don't plan on seeing you again after tonight anyway." Well ... even if you don't, you're way too mixed up to leave it all hanging now.
"You two fell down a hill." LOOOL! 'Ya fell down some stairs!' XD Classic and weakest cover-up. "Over a broken beer bottle." Imaginative. _ _ "Naruto gamely tried to do his part in the cover up." TOO LATE! Sasuke already hesitated! XD _ _ Yeah-caught up to Neji's cousin starting the link, have you, Sasuke? About time. _ _ Love the reluctant and vague truth that Sasuke told.
Love the contrast between how Naruto and Sasuke take being doctored. _ _ "Beast of a brother," nice one. :) _ _ He's gonna recognize the gunshot wound ... yup, he did. _ _ That poor man... _ _ "Except that bullet would have gone into your head if I hadn't shown up." Love the way they both look at him. Sasuke's probably thinking, 'you fucking little traitor...' while Itachi's like, 'What. The. Bloody. Fuck?' _ _ "Itachi felt the beginnings of an anxiety attack trying to take over." Not used to those with Itachi either! I like! :D (Because it's a human thing, I mean, NOT because he's suffering.) _ _ Nnnngh, THAT POOR MAN! T_T (I know I keep saying that, but I mean it!) The heartbreak when it says, "He probably wouldn't even know when it happened. His brother would be off God knew where, doing God knew what. Getting shot at." Ohhh god, so rich. So-using your word-"organic."
Loyalty To Friend equals Loyal to Friend's Family ... Harder to do when there's a rift somewhere in there, Naruto. As you may have just noticed. _ _ "as much as Sasuke himself was very different form any friend he'd ever imagined." Typo: form-should be 'from' _ _ "... maybe, just maybe, Sasuke was wrong about his brother." You don't really know the guy, Naruto. Sasuke's seen him from a different place than you have, and for years. _ _ "Itachi turned his head aside sharply." He did that in BMH, too. During one of those chapters when he was trying to probe Sasuke about his person and mentioned having to sell himself in the past. (*looks it up*) Chapter 5: "Itachi turned his head aside sharply, and kept it there." _ _ Sasuke's aware of the tears. Wonder how bad he feels about his brother hurting, if at all. _ _ Love the way Itachi silently storms off after finishing. Man's heart is breaking.
Oh boy, here comes the shitstorm... _ _ Hinata's not going to like this... _ _ "... but I'm not sure what Iruka would do to you if it came out that you made Neji take you." Interesting. Also like how he made it clear to Naruto that Neji wouldn't get too much heat and that he could handle what he did get. _ _ And Naruto just confessed the deal to Sasuke. I knew Sasuke wouldn't be happy to hear about that, for whatever reason. _ _ "Never." What did you expect, Naruto? You're the only one batting for staying friends with him. He never really agreed.
| Garmiet chapter 5 . 1/28
Ah, so he doesn't kill. That's a relief. It's hitting him like it's new to him.
Sasuke's going to have an impossible time talking to Naruto about what happened. He's dark, all right, but killing wasn't routine for him... But 'it was a one-time thing' ain't exactly gonna do it... On top of that, Naruto might have to deliver... And I doubt Neji'll be too understanding, if at all. Hell, Naruto probably doesn't even want to talk about what just happened.
"At first Naruto had called out to him when they arrived ..." Oh yeah, I forgot Sasuke thought he'd heard him. At the time I figured it was just his head. Mine does that to me sometimes. I think I hear someone saying my name and look around a bit confused. Sometimes when I'm completely alone, too. It only ever happens once, though. No follow-up. _ _ "... whatever protective streak he had was apparently narrow; his eyes were already glued to the club as they crossed the street." The fuck is wrong with you, man? Don't leave him alone. Follow him at a distance if he said he wants to be alone! :( _ _ "It was a surprise to him to learn just how much it hurt to punch someone." I like that detail. _ _ ... one thing is bothering me ... how did Neji know about Sasuke's movements? And how much time had passed between the scene in Oto and the time Naruto made that tentative deal with Neji? Cuz if both events took place on the same evening or two days in a row, that means Neji already knew what Sasuke does... Why? And either way, his behavior says that Naruto's only temporary to him. Wants to get laid with him and move on. Isn't too concerned about his welfare. Guy knows Oto apparently. Maybe he just frequents the place a lot and happened to see Sasuke there.
"More than anything else in life, even more than wanting a home, Naruto just wanted -someone-." I don't blame him.
Wha-REALLY, NARUTO? You saw Sasuke kill a guy in cold blood (judging from his expression) and you SOUGHT HIM OUT? ? ... Balls. Stupid, but wow. Guess he wants to give Sasuke the benefit of the doubt... Also, I wonder what Neji's going to do with the information about Sasuke killing someone. He's gonna see the body. _ _ Okay, Neji joined the party. (Honestly, I have no idea how malicious Neji actually is. Very self-absorbed, and Naruto noticed a bit of a manipulative streak, but I wonder just how hard he'd push for something he wanted if it was flat-up refused. He seemed more bewildered earlier, but then Naruto gave him an opening, so I don't know.)
I really like the scene of the three of them watching the gang approach. I've got music on, and it's all tense and suspense. _ _ Fuuuuuck, this is going baaaaad... _ _ "Naruto stood there and watched blood so dark it was nearly black gurgle out of the hole in the man's neck." After this field trip, Naruto's not going to be leaving home anytime soon. o.o; _ _ Eesh ... wonder how many times Neji's killed before this. _ _ Oowww-shot in the shoulder ... -AND- HIT BY A CAR! O.O Good Gods! _ _ "Naruto had his hands over his ears, mouth stretched wide in a silent shriek of pure terror." Yeah, I would be too. And worse, probably.
WAKE UP, SASUKE! (I do like the details about how far into shock he is, though.) _ _ "I killed someone, just like-" Who? Or what? _ _ Can't save him, or won't, Sasuke? And if the latter, then why? _ _ Wonder what changed his mind. Not sure it was just Naruto insisting on it.
"I'm not going to let you let him die." Dude. What can you do if Sasuke made a stand against you or just walked? Not that Naruto's thinking too straight atm. Sasuke isn't either. Probably still trying to get past the shock. _ _ Interesting seeing Sasuke with his guards down. _ _ "He was ... hurting me." Pretty good connection, Naruto. _ _ Love how Naruto's carefully filling in the blanks with Sasuke. _ _ Verrrry interesting. Naruto being there triggered Sasuke into killing the guy, but as soon as it was over he was back to his original mission. _ _ "When he was small, he used to lie awake at night and dream up scores of friends for himself." Ones that stick around, I imagine. _ _ "You held on to friends no matter what they did to you, or how mad they made you, and you could rest easy in the knowledge that your friend would stick by you with the same devotion, no matter what you did to piss them off or hurt them." Nicely put. Though the 'no matter what they did to you' might need SOME guidelines. _ _ "In the home, you learned to cherish what few belongings you had, even if they were broken beyond repair." Or ... DAMAGED? ;-) Anyways, he ain't gonna let Sasuke go, that's for sure. _ _ "I believe you. You didn't mean to kill him." Wow ... that whole thing went way smoother than I expected. Thank god. Though ... it kinda involved Neji getting shot, possibly fatally. Which sucked. At that time. _ _ "That he didn't act on those urges, while Sasuke did, made very little difference to his mind just then." Complex stuff going on, and to come. _ _ Nice description of how Sasuke doesn't feel better, just a little different.
Okay. Now his other faculties are running again. :) _ _ "... there were people gathering outside, around the fallen men who'd attacked them." Never a moment's peace here. PRESSURE-! _ _ Seriously wonder how Sasuke knows all this med stuff. I know that he's far from stupid, but that's still detailed stuff. And the instincts. _ _ Love the situation when the doc (Sasuke in this case) makes do with whatever and WHOEVER he's got on hand. And when people just stare, doc's like "MOVE IT." Saw a scene like that in Sherlock. Loved it to bits, though hardly anything happened; nowhere near this kind of detail. _ _ "I should have treated him sooner." Self-disgust and anger there. _ _ "'You can,' Naruto said. He had unshakable faith in those sharp eyes. 'I believe in you.'" And all I'm thinking is, 'Thanks for the pressure. Now I absolutely CAN'T let you down, fuck the possibilities.'
Question for the author: how much research did you have to do to learn all this med stuff? I have no idea if any of it actually works the way it's portrayed here, but it's fascinating to read. (Though I could never watch this on TV; too many insides showing.) _ _ Poor Naruto, having to watch this ... can probably smell it too. _ _ If Neji wakes up (can't imagine), he's gonna be in PAIN... He ain't doped. _ _ "I know they tried to fuck us over, but..." WHOA ... wasn't expecting THAT! That he might help the gang members.
Okay ... that's fucking cool, that Sasuke got every random lookie-loo to help out and got the place cordoned off somewhat. That's friggin' awesome.
DUDE'S STILL ALIVE?! O_ _ _ _ _O _ _ Wow ... so it wasn't just crazy stabbing. He unconsciously avoided the vitals... That's some shit right there. _ _ Love that break in his voice when he repeats, "He's -alive-."
"-Get-your-asses-down-here, or so help me I will call that corrupt son of a bitch you have for a governor, what's his name, Orochimaru?" LOL, I was wondering when he'd pop up! XD _ _ Oh my god, that entire speech was BEAUTIFUL... (*swoons a bit*)
Whooooo, that was one hell of a chapter... God... o_o
| Garmiet chapter 4 . 1/28
"He didn't relax until he heard Itachi go back to studying." That poor man ... I feel bad for Itachi here. _ _ Wonder why the tense distance between the two.
"... but why? Why did he care if some asshole had clothes on his back? What was wrong with him?" Interesting. Now I wanna know. Is it just a case of him having the wrong self-image of himself? _ _ "Crushing, debilitating guilt and shame." There's that again.
"Sasuke informed Iruka that he wouldn't be coming back." Scared of his own behavior? Or was the day just not worth it due to all that happened? Way harder than he thought?
"Severe learning disability," How'd Sarutobi get that notion? Or the rest of the teachers? _ _ Oh. He deceived them... Why the act? _ _ Oh lord, good luck, Sasuke. Don't throw a fit if summer school sucks ass.
Wonder why Sasuke's focusing on algebra if he knows he's already going to fail math. Gonna give it a try anyways?
"... some man with a scar across the bridge of his nose and a hip ponytail." LOL, that description of the ponytail! XD I dunno why, the "hip" bit makes me grin. It tickles. _ _ "Sasuke's head had jerked up at Neji's name." Continued jealousy... Okay, so he is scared about something. He asked if Naruto was alright, so he is concerned... And it bugs him that he is concerned. _ _ "Naruto's a whiz at math." Ouch. _ _ "Knew I shouldn't have let that asshole in." Heh.
Latching onto him kinda fast, aren't you, Naruto? Only knew the guy two days... Well, I guess it's understandable, if he's reading into the change in Sasuke's behavior. Maybe he's just concerned. _ _ "He didn't know what he'd done to make Sasuke change his mind." Nothing, dude. Guy's got a problem with himself.
So Neji's current goal is to go to the place that trains killing machines. I see... ... Actually, maybe I shouldn't judge yet. _ _ Guy's got the hots for Naruto too. _ _ "Naruto hated the walks." I get that he wants to get out of the place sometimes, but why would he go for these walks if he hated them? _ _ "I know it's your first time." And clearly it's not yours. And you just made a rude-ass assumption. _ _ DEEE-NIIIED! And ouch! Nice one, Naruto! ... Neji's probably not gonna take 'no' easily, though. _ _ "I mean, you live at home-" Yeah. I reacted to that too, like, 'Ah. Okay. 'Nuff said there.' _ _ "the Academy would be receiving a shark." Dude sounds scary. _ _ Oh, don't do this, Naruto. "I'll ... consider it. Depends on if you find him, and if you can get me to see him." Dude? ... this is one thing you can't back out of. Neji's not going to like getting screwed over, and he's-as you say-insensitive; no idea how he'll react to a "no" if he fulfils those conditions. Don't bargain something you're not willing to part with. I mean, you had that sense when Sasuke tried to get you to make a deal, what happened here?
Drug trafficking, prostitution, firearms ... yikes. _ _ Wonder how/why he feels at home there. _ _ So ... he robs the traffickers. _ _ "Itachi didn't understand. No one did." Me neither, I guess. _ _ "He'd thought Naruto was like him. Dark like him. That they could run together... But Naruto had proven to be nothing like him. He would have gotten him killed." Ahhh, so that's why he cancelled. _ _ "So how was it this man managed to go unmolested every week?" Wonder if it really is just luck.
"It never occurred to him that he was wrong. He was never wrong." Heehee, wrong this time! :) _ _ "Let it happen. Just let it happen fast, he thought. All things considered, it would be a relief." It ain't gonna happen fast if it's happening. _ _ Holy shit, that was a near thing... Like, WAY too near. (talkin about the guy getting slammed and the gun going off & missing Sasuke) _ _ Really! Naruto's doing it? Huh... Just looked back at the terms of Naruto's deal: "Depends on if you find him, and if you can get me to see him." Well, Neji succeeded. _ _ Holy fuck. Multiple stabs... A lot. Ugh. _ _ Yeah, I don't blame Naruto for running for it. _ _ "All at once understanding crashed through him... aware of how this looked and what Naruto had seen him do." NOW you get there, Sasuke ... ya dumb shit. Of COURSE, Naruto would freak! He's not like you, as you put it.
I wonder if he typically kills the drug guys he robs. Or if this was one of those cases where it couldn't be avoided.
And at this point (a bit belatedly), I realize it might not've been jealousy that had Sasuke clenching his jaw at Neji. Like Naruto said, Sasuke had the guy pegged when he was picking out the redhead to isolate.
| Garmiet chapter 3 . 1/28
Toughie chapter, eh? Guess I'll find out why.
"The books. Always those books. Sasuke stared at them. They were always there, day and night. A wave of guilt, shame, and loathing washed through him at the sight of Itachi buried in them, same as it always did." Verrry interesting. Something's hidden there. At first guess I thought Itachi was studying for college. Probably still is, but now I wonder WHAT he's studying. Also wonder at Sasuke's feelings. Who or what is his loathing directed towards and why? Is any of it towards himself, or towards his brother, or something else? Or a mixture. Can't tell now. But that paragraph is bait to me. :D
"... they'd always decided, upon learning of his problems, that he would be too much to handle." Still have yet to learn about those problems. Wasn't in that answer Sasuke gave. _ _ "permanent fixture ... kids liked to have fun with on occasion. Like the trampoline in the backyard." Ouch. _ _ Love how Naruto's taking Sasuke's measure in retrospect. "He'd be having a talk with Sasuke, and not just to make sure the jerk understood that he wouldn't help him break the law." That'd be interesting. Sasuke couldn't stand hearing Naruto talk after one tense topic. I imagine there are others. _ _ Heh-and Naruto's aware of the predicament... Really tough dilemma. _ _ Lol ... I remember that feeling, waiting for something big to happen at a certain time and then you start to sweat when it doesn't happen right on the dot.
Kids run away from Sasuke on sight. Interesting. _ _ What DO you do, buddy? Gang stuff? Prostitution? Robbery? ... or just smoke marijuana? Cuz that counts as illegal but not necessarily bad. XD _ _ Smart, not to agree to it right out. _ _ Redhead kid? Gaara, is that you? _ _ "Tell him your friend is hurt in the men's room. Get him to come with you." This does not sound straight or legit. This sounds crooked. _ _ "I don't want to jack some guy for his clothes? I'm not hurting anyone for you." Does he mean 'jack' as in 'steal' or as in 'wank them off'? If it's the latter, the "hurting" comment is interesting. And if it's the former ... "It's not hurting them." Is Sasuke being technical there (robbery isn't technically hurting a person), or does he really mean he's no intention of causing harm in the broader sense?
LOOOL! Naruto got into the game instead! XDD _ _ NEJIII! (I can't make heart emotes on here, but if I could...) _ _ Jealous, Sasuke? _ _ Well, you wouldn't tell Naruto what you were thinking of doing, and it sounded suspicious! No, he couldn't just lead the guy in there to some unknown fate.
"Tachycardia." My first thought when reading that was, 'I thought it was Naruto who was speaking gibberish, not Sasuke.' Then I realized it was a diagnosis. _ _ Love how Sasuke notes down specific symptoms. _ _ Ugh, right in the lap. Gross.
"Okay. Okay. Stop moving, I got this." Love the switch from shady punkass to ... what he's doing right now. _ _ IV kit? Wtaf... This paragraph makes me think back to him noting the medical option when he was signing up at the house, and how he figured they were for med students. Wonder how much he knows. _ _ ITACHIIII! (hearts again) GOOD TO SEE YOU, MAN! _ _ "I'm the med student. I should be doing that." Lol. Refreshing to see Itachi not taking charge from Sasuke right there. Don't think I've seen that happen much in stories.
"... and the most beautiful man he'd ever seen sitting in another chair." First Neji, now Itachi. Two in one day within a few hours of each other. _ _ "Sasuke's out. Said you needed a few things." More clothes and shoes, I'll bet.
"That one was full of CDs, but there was no CD player." Teehee. (*snickers behind hand*) _ _ "A feeling swelled in Naruto's chest, one he couldn't identify. He only knew that he wanted to stay in Sasuke's bed, in his room, in his house, forever." Awww... :'( That's sad.
| Garmiet chapter 2 . 1/28
So, hang on ... is this place technically an orphanage? Or a huge foster place?
"Naruto was parked on the floor," lol, parked. _ _ Lol, Sasuke's first words there. XD _ _ "What do you want to get out of our partnership?" The hell, I wouldn't know how to answer that. :s _ _ "Oh, I can do angst better than you, bitch." Hahahaha! X'D _ _ "Was thinking we could hang. You down?" _ _ Nah, not a retard. Just stunned. _ _ "Maybe not a complete retard." Lol, nope. _ _ I like the argument over who's got it worse. _ _ Also like how Naruto's not down for just hanging with someone who's gonna drop him first chance they get.
Seventeen years there ... his whole life?
Heh-Naruto likes using the window. _ _ Good luck, Naruto. Sasuke's not exactly mature. _ _ "What's with the inquisition of a sudden?" Well, kid's gotta know how you wanna hang, duh... Sasuke seems pretty dang edgy. _ _ "I built this tree house. What can you do, besides mouth off and act like a badass you're probably not? If you're so fucking cool, bring it." Good answer. _ _ "That's enough Q&A." Oho, are parents a tense topic? _ _ Interesting how once Iruka slowed Naruto up, Naruto's taking it to heart that this could be his last chance before he has to leave. Not giving up. Love how he keeps pace with Sasuke, trying to find out what he's in store for. _ _ "I get that you've never been chosen, so you're having some kind of spaz attack now, but I swear to God, if you don't get out of my ass I will choose someone else. Not another word. We clear on that? ... Don't make me regret this anymore than I already do." Yikes. That warning.
Wonder if Iruka ever had to deal with Sasuke's type before. _ _ Holy shit, Sasuke can be damned eloquent when he wants! Nice! ... Wonder if that's how he got out of being sent to juvie when he was being evaluated in the past... At the same time, reading what he wrote, I'm wondering how honest he's being when he says "engagement in activities suitable for young adults. Outings to venues that cater to his natural athelticism, and obvious love of sports." I mean, that's what it says, and it's a good answer, but does he actually plan on doing any of that? Could be he just knows what to say to make it look good. _ _ Wonder what gave away Naruto's interest in sports. _ _ At first, when Iruka said, "Something is off about him," my immediate thought was, 'besides the attitude, I take it,' and wondered if Iruka was aware that Sasuke was a bit of a delinquent (apparently ... and I don't like that word much for some reason, but I can't think of a better one). I find it interesting that the off bit wasn't so much that, but more that it contrasts with the intelligence and eloquence. Dude's way smarter than the average punk-ass, yet is at this place for "delinquency" and is "trouble, and strikes me as decidedly unstable." Wonder how dangerous he is. _ _ "I can handle him." Good luck. _ _ "I'm not going to let him hurt me or anyone else here. I swear." God damn it. Scene ends on that, so I get the feeling he's gonna ... okay, I'm not gonna lie. When I was first deciding whether this was a story I wanted to read, I flashed a couple looks here and there. Found out that somebody's gonna get killed, though I don't know the circumstances and don't remember who got killed. Point is, that line that Naruto just said made me think, 'Shit.' But even without knowing, I probably would've caught the jinx warning anyway. Sounds too much like when someone says, "what could happen?" at the scene end. Also wonder if Iruka will come to regret Sasuke coming to this place... Yes, I do wonder that, even though I know somebody's gonna die, and he's obviously already worried.
Sasuke ... Iruka's smarter than you give him credit for. Shoulda taken your trash with you.