Reviews for The First
Terrorbyt3 chapter 12 . 11/8/2012
I added to the Authors Note at the end of Chapter 12, so re-read that before you go on to 13, which will be up soon.
Kaldi97 chapter 12 . 11/8/2012
The-lazy-bum chapter 12 . 11/8/2012
wow... dick move by you...
SW4G M4N chapter 11 . 11/8/2012
Lol, I liked this chapter. If you can, you don't have to of course, can you include more of other characters such as Gaige and Salvador? You don't need to, I just always thought those two were hilarious.
MEleeSmasher chapter 11 . 11/7/2012
Well, this is interesting. I am now intrigued. But have you read New-U? This could pass up as something that I can get behind
Haycop TC chapter 11 . 11/7/2012
keep going... loving this story!
Basia Orci chapter 10 . 11/6/2012
Okay, then. Definitely go with what you've planned for the story (I mean, it's YOUR story after all). I just sometimes get attacked by plot bunnies at the most random times, even when reading other people's fanfics, lol. Oh, and it just occurred to me that if you're going for a Fletcher/Angel romance, then you definitely don't want them to be related. And on that note, I think the Fletcher/Angel pairing would work better than Fletcher/Maya. I mean, isn't Maya close to 30 years old? And Fletcher is just 16, right? That's a really big age gap.

Anyway, this chapter was good! I like how you're being creative about how Angel can use her phaseshift.
Basia Orci chapter 9 . 11/5/2012
Hey, so I decided to review since you replied to my follow (which has never happened to me before). I'm kinda surprised you read my profile, although now I'm painfully aware that I haven't updated the darn thing in years.

Anyway, I enjoyed reading your story and I look forward to further updates. I can definitely tell you're a newbie writer, but I think you have a lot of potential. Your plot is creative and your OC, Fletcher, is slowly developing into a more well-rounded character.

I had an interesting thought while reading chapter 5. What if Fletcher was actually Jack's son? Or even his clone? (I can totally see Jack being egotistical enough to clone himself, lol.)
Xuufinator chapter 8 . 11/3/2012
Very well done story, keep up the amazing work!
SW4G M4N chapter 8 . 11/1/2012
Nice chapter, I really like the Angel backstory and how she used Jack's real name. Keep up the good work!
Bumbling Caster chapter 1 . 11/1/2012
First. Male. Siren.
we are screwed.
SW4G M4N chapter 6 . 10/30/2012
Can't wait to see Angel kick some ass. Keep writing!
Guest chapter 5 . 10/28/2012
This is awwweeeessssoooommmmmeeee. a male siren is awwweeeeeeeeeeeeeeesssssssss sssssooooooooooommmmmmmmmeee ee.
megapunch443 chapter 4 . 10/26/2012
really well-written and fits in with the storyline perfectly
Haycop TC chapter 3 . 10/25/2012
Happy to help anytime brother
Keep going though... loving it!
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