Reviews for Naruto lost in Mahora
djett4 chapter 5 . 9/6/2014
this story is really sweet I really hope you continue it
Anonymous-1.25.415 chapter 5 . 7/16/2014
Far better than most negima/naruto crossovers!
Guest chapter 5 . 6/29/2014
Great job lookin forward to the next chapter
eliteshadow chapter 3 . 6/3/2014
nice chapters please update and post more soon!
Drac-frst chapter 1 . 5/9/2014
Not bad in planning events and actions out, but you *really* need to work on your run-on sentences. If you have to use more than 4 commas then you need to break it up. When I see a sentence with *8* commas and lasting over four lines then you have a serious run-on problem.

"Sasuke laughed, (1) until he felt the agonizing pull of kamui, (2) Sasuke glared at Kakashi, (3) only to widen his eyes at teh fact that he had every shinobi of Konoha behind him, (4) with Sakura healing Hinata, (5) and everyone was glaring at him, (6) so he smirked, (7) and used his own rinnegan/sharingan to take control of the Kamui, (8) until he managed to widen it enough to capture the four Narutos within the technique with him."

Seriously? How hard would it be to add some periods?

"Sasuke laughed until he felt the agonizing pull of Kamui, turning to glare at Kakshi only to widen his eyes at the sign of many other Konoha Shinobi behind him. As Sakura healed Hinata and everyone else glared at him he smirked and used his own rinnegan/sharingan to take control of the Kamui, widening it to capture the Four Narutos in the technique with him."

See? 2 sentences, and only 1 comma per sentence, plus less mess with the present/past tenses. It's not *that* hard if you think about it a little.
Majin-kun chapter 5 . 5/7/2014
...this was not bad, but it's wasn't something I liked...it consisted mostly of "this happened, and then that, while Naruto explained this".
I don't like that kind of format, seems kinda lazy...and most of the comedy(One of my favorite aspects of any story) is completely lost with you skipping things like character theatrics, teasing, quirks and such...If anyone that hasn't read Negima reads this story they'll be lost as fuck.
Anyway, good luck with your next chapters.
Majin-kun chapter 4 . 5/7/2014
Battle against Danzo...used genjutsu, summoning and Susano'o.
Naruto...well, kinda true...all he needs is Hiraishin(The Rasengan and Hiraishin combo is too leet) and he will never really need anything else.
Who the hell wanted the baby to stay dead?! Why?! You sick bastards...
Anyway, I feel like you're rushing way too much, but I mostly think this because some of the top NaruNegima crossovers are very patient.
Majin-kun chapter 3 . 5/7/2014
Well, he can fly in canon now at least...
Majin-kun chapter 2 . 5/7/2014
HohI was under the impression it was gonna be only NaruNodoka...hmmm...wonder if he'll get Haruna too...wonder why no one ever adds her...just because she is perverted and is into BL.
I agree with Naru probably being rich in canon...He must have part of Jiraiya's dough from his will...not all of it, some it must may have been for Tsunade, his contacts(Informants) and just charity...maybe some girls he got pregnant too.
Anyway! Interesting idea about his Pactio with Jiji...seems a bit useless considering how easy it is for him to enter those states by himself, must have some extra benefits then...like a limit break, or maybe even being able to synchronize them perfectly.
Majin-kun chapter 1 . 5/7/2014
Pretty good first chapter...that was not "anticlimactic" by the way...
Anticlimactic would have been draining all his chakra or killing him in his sleep. A kunai straight through the chin(shouldn't it be jaw?) into the brain is efficient as shinobi should be.
lou2003us chapter 5 . 5/7/2014
I really want to see what happens next!

Looking forward to next chapter!

Keep up the great work.
eniox27 chapter 4 . 5/5/2014
You saved the baby I'm so happy I just might cry. But your right they are kind of idiots who spam attacks. This chapter was pretty humorous at least kakashi the shinobi and dean were
eniox27 chapter 1 . 5/4/2014
Poor hinata poor baby poor naruto. sasuke burn rot and suffer in the deepest dark hole in hell.
megaslayer321a chapter 5 . 5/2/2014
like the story hope some updates come soon.
eliteshadow chapter 5 . 5/2/2014
nice chapter it was very funny please update and post more chapters soon i would love to read more of this story so please update again soon!
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