|Reviews for The Fox and the Robin|
| Kimberly711 chapter 11 . 1/26
PLEASE UPDATE SOON!
| ImaBiteChu chapter 11 . 1/5
I friggin love this story! Please please please update soon! And by soon, I mean right now. :)
| chloevamp chapter 11 . 12/6/2014
Please update im loving this story so far :)
| Goldenwolf chapter 11 . 10/2/2014
Will you please hurry up and finish this thing!? I am really enjoying it. And either bring her back into contact with her friends, or let her get used to her new life.
Or both. You are the writer, though, the story belongs to you and you alone.
| Guest chapter 11 . 9/9/2014
This is so good! I love it!
| Puffgirl1952 chapter 11 . 9/6/2014
Story is good and I look forward to more chapters...
Keep rocking, rolling and writing!
| the penmans mind chapter 11 . 7/30/2014
I LOVE this story, it is good to see a fanfiction focused on Magua -, I am glad your characters are not the usual mary sues and slow witted braves. You show both good, and bad qualities to your characters. And thank you for bolding the dialogue, although instead of running the different inputs into one paragraph, do it in a list formation. For example:
"You fool." The maiden said, "you simply cannot sit around and sit in your canoe all day, and expect me to raise our children alone, cook food, and warm your bed at night!" She said angrily, watching her lazy husband as he sat casually on the water, mere meters away, but unreachable because of the water. "You should remember that I am the one who brings home the food woman." The husband said lazily tugging at the fishing line. Finally the woman shouted throwing her hands up in the air."Fine! Do as you please! Oh great warrior! Just do not expect your woman to warm your bed tonight!" As the word left her mouth she was shocked to see her husband to fall out of his boat, and never again had she seen her lover swim through water so quickly to reach his wife.
try this instead.
"You fool." The maiden said, "you simply cannot sit around and sit in your canoe all day, and expect me to raise our children alone, cook food, and warm your bed at night!"
She said the words angrily, watching her lazy husband as he sat casually on the water, mere meters away, but unreachable because of the water.
"You should remember that I am the one who brings home the food woman." The husband said lazily tugging at the fishing line. Finally the woman shouted throwing her hands up in the air.
"Fine! Do as you please! Oh great warrior! Just do not expect your woman to warm your bed tonight!"
As the word left her mouth she was shocked to see her husband to fall out of his boat, and never again had she seen her lover swim through water so quickly to reach his wife.
This will make it easier to know who is talking, and easier for us readers to read it! Also, I love and hate the tension between t two of them! Every time I see Magua and Robin arguing I am chanting over and over "KISS! KISS! KISS!" I am very excited! Please update quickly!
P.S: gypsy girl came on, on my radio while I read this, I laughed so hard.
| Allison chapter 11 . 7/9/2014
EEEEE!UPDATE! I LOVE IT!
| Tintenfleck chapter 11 . 7/5/2014
I really like Yunyeno, he's this wise and old (and cool) native guy. And I'm curious what kind of trouble Maguas brother and his lover will be causing soon. And I doesn't have a clue, what you will doing with Robin. She doesn't fit in there, that's clear as day. But it's interesting to see, what the both of them bring out of each other. I can't wait to find out, what will happen.
For my part, I don't need the highlighting in the next. In most cases it's pretty clear, in which language your folks talk to each other. And with the story in the "follows" I've always got an alert, btw.
| lillalil chapter 11 . 7/2/2014
Keep on...I really dont like this and her lover...Awful persons.
| bats13 chapter 11 . 7/2/2014
Loved this chapter so much! There's a lot going on that I really liked, and I don't know where to start, but I'll try. I really like they way you go into detail in the story. Like when Magua came over for dinner, you described him arriving like 'entering the wigwam once the moon had begun its nightly journey across the starry sky'. I loved that part! And I liked the part where Magua wanted Robin to serve him dinner, and she refused! She had a right to do that! LMAO I also like how Robin isn't a Mary Sue. She is stubborn, and a bit oblivious to things at times. I like seeing her trying to adjust to Huron ways, and the conflict between her Gypsy upbringing and the ways of the Huron that she is trying to get used to. I wasn't expecting a scene with Ji'yah and Che'estaheh, which was a surprise, and it intrigued me, too. I'm interested to see how things will play out in the coming chapters. Great work! Your chapters are ALWAYS worth the wait. I know others want you to update as soon as possible, but I think that great work takes time, and can't be rushed! Looking forward to the next update!
| Nora chapter 10 . 4/7/2014
Grazie Mille! A new chapter. And so soon. I really love this story, Please continue!
| Kira chapter 10 . 4/6/2014
Absolutely in love with this story. More please!
| Green Mustard chapter 10 . 4/5/2014
You've been writing this for more than a year and I've been reading it on one sunny april afternoon. Robin is an excellent drawn character and Magua canny and complex; warrior, loser, winner, war chief, drunkard, ... An interesting anti-hero, who deserves this story.
How he tries to get Robin back after her escape - that's a so dark image of the character, and yet he's sympathetic, because you showed us he had his reasons. Like Robin says: "poor creature."
That's amazing work! I really liked the parallels you addressed between the two.
Update soon, please.
| Tintenfleck chapter 10 . 4/5/2014
many thanks for your comment about the native names and the gypsies. I'm a writer by myself (nothing published here) and I know, it's always difficult to write about a strong heroine in previous centuries. The gypsy-background of Robin did a good job, to give her liberties and experience, other woman of her time can't have because of the society rules. Besides, it's fuel to the relationship between the two of them. I'm only afraid, most people are incapable on reflecting their own upbringing and the rules of their culture like the both of them are doing in your story. That's a very modern feature of Magua and Robin, since you are writing for modern readers, it's alright.
And yes, the speech in the novel isn't really contemporary. I'm glad, you have chosen a more modern writing style ;) I read a german translation of LOTM years ago, and the translator defused the most tricky parts, I don't think I could read the original. Did you ever try the latest marvel comic? I enjoyed reading (?) it too and the drawings are very nice.
To this chapter: You did a great job with the conflict and interactions in the first part. Robin is very young, but doesn't fear to provoke more than she can handle. She is so brave and honest. And Magua didn't overstepping the line, as he really cares for her.
But I really liked the second part of this chapter. The duel with the indian girl in the water was very enjoyable, and Robin along the way in unfitting clothes and the reaction of the village folk show us something of how foreign she is in Magua's world. You also gave us an overviews of the rank and attitudes of Ji'yah, alone the reaction of the other women tell us a lot about this girl. I like that you introduced Yunyeno as Robin's Mentor. Most stories here zero in to only two or three characters and endless dialogues with no outcome, so it is good you give the plot more performers, and with that more conflict. So, no complaints about this chapter. I look forward to the journey you take us on with this.
At last I want to say, I'm not feeling pressed into reviewing. I like reviews too. Writing for an audience costs a lot of time and without feedback it is less fun.
Too bad, I can't help with the beta job. My English is not good enough to do something like that.