Reviews for TCC Book One: Prologue
TeelanaFalcao chapter 3 . 11/17/2014
Estou adorando sua ideia da história. Gosto também dos pais de Cheetara. Amei o bebê se mexendo na barriga de sua mãe. Foi doce e terno. O final do capítulo realmente nos faz pensar. ;) ;)
TeelanaFalcao chapter 2 . 11/17/2014
Eu gosto como você está levando a história até aqui. Cheetara sempre foi minha personagem preferida do show 1986/2011.
TeelanaFalcao chapter 1 . 11/17/2014
Ei, isso foi um bom começo.
Guest chapter 3 . 3/23/2014
T. Alana M chapter 1 . 2/2/2014
I'm not very familiar with this fandom, but I have a basic knowledge of it.

It was great! Chronologically speaking, the whole exchange can't have taken more than a few minutes, but the way you described it made it feel like long, tranquil hours. The metaphors and similes especially, were exceptionally intriguing.

Loved it! Will keep reading.
Keep up the good work!
trudes193 chapter 1 . 2/2/2014
I remember watching Thundercats as a kid, I have long forgotten the story and a little fandom blind. But I absolutely enjoyed your story. You're writing is superbly wonderful, and the story made me feel a part of the action. I love the thoughts of the characters and how you describe them, it's like the reader is in their mind seeing things as they see them while each character had a distinct voice. The dialogue flows really fluidly and sounded completely natural and age appropriate.

I wish I could write as beautifully as you, and I'm excited to read your other stories. :D
DjinniFires chapter 1 . 12/12/2013
Interesting opening. The scene flows well from Claudus's conflict over wishing to be outside and his need to wait for the examination to be over, his memories of childhood and his responsibilities now. The description of the anthropomorphic cats (that I've only seen depicted in parody!) is elegant and serious. I particularly liked the lady submitting to the public examination and staring off into the distance without comment or expression.

The situation is interesting and well-laid out: the lions and their beloved adopted tiger; their anxiety over doing the correct thing to ensure his right to the throne and save him future trouble; the momentous situation of picking a future bride for their baby while the feline is still in the womb (how they know there will be a female, I'm not sure, since I don't know if these cats usually expect big litters).

I became a little lost in paragraph 4 with the long, long description of the Lady since I wasn't sure why she was significant yet. Perhaps call the examination a physical examination upfront and make it clear that it's her belly being examined? This wasn't clear until the last sentence of this paragraph.

The cat references such as describing the lady by her markings are good. I especially like this cat point-of-view metaphor to describe a delicate political situation: [As the Queen knew well, ambitious noblemen swarmed around Thundera like flies on the carcass of a gazelle.]

No SPaG.
reminiscent-afterthought chapter 3 . 12/1/2013
This chapter is a heartwarming conclusion to the prologue, but I felt it came out a tad dry at the beginning. The ideas portrayed here, like the problems between the King and the other man, were already well established from the previous chapter and so felt a little repetitive here. The celebration also - despite you not strictly having a celebration in the previous chapter - seemed to only serve explanatory purposes.

Despite that, it was a very well-written chapter. It gave a bit of a story-telling feel, particularly when describing the banquet. Some interesting points showed up as well, though I wonder how relevant they are in a final chapter. Perhaps they're setting up something for the next book - though the information of the Lady I would have liked to see a little earlier.

The scene describing the banquet reminded me somewhat of Shakespeare's Macbeth, even if the banquets couldn't be any different.

Ooh, baby moving! That's always one of the cutest scenes.

[Leah." the Queen] -That should be a capital "The".

The ending was a beautiful scene as well, and the perfect ending to a prologue as well. It leaves such a tender feeling in the end. :D
reminiscent-afterthought chapter 2 . 11/24/2013
The start of this chapter sounds as though it is in the middle of something; it would be better to add a little about the examination before that. It sounded like the child had actually been born for a bit there.

"The Lady smiled at this news. Jaga's brow darkened" - since the subject changes, a paragraph break between the two sentences?

Claudus' reaction is an interesting one: it highlights the fragile nature of his situation quite neatly, and particularly his concern with Lior and the prophecy. I wonder if part of that reaction is due to how it implies his son needs such protection.

"...she possesses?" The King - "The" should be lowercase there.

I also wonder as to Claudus asking about the magic in the presense of Lior, after being concerned as to how he will treat the information in the prophecy.

I like how the physical descriptions snuck into this chapter; it really helped with the visualisations. I still wonder as to what goes on through Claudus' mind; it seems he is reluctant to make the match, as much as the Queen is eager to do so. And Lior is an interesting background character as well: yes, he does appear giddy, but the amount of time you took for Claudus to regard him, and the detail as to his description in the end, makes me think there's more to him than simply becoming a first father.

The hot flush at the end is an interesting one as well; part of it seems playing the part of flirt: the Queen grins, Claudus is angered: but to mention it right at the end? Makes me think it's not just an insignificant little transgression on Lior's part. I wonder how that will develop.
reminiscent-afterthought chapter 1 . 11/23/2013
I think I read one of the Thundercats books, but I don't remember it too well. Anyway, I figured the story would make more sense if I started from the beginning.

You have an interesting beginning: maybe not one with a hook, but I think a hook would be unnecessary here in any case, since you've done such a solid day in building up the scene. The King comes out very nicely as well: you take away some of the human picturings straight away with the mane, and add a little sense of melancholy as well. The part with the lady I found a little confusing, particularly as the queen isn't mentioned until the end of that paragraph. Is she a concubine or something?

"lost his claw" is a very interesting phrase. I'm not sure if it's canonical or of your own invention, but it reminds me of the rats in Narnia, who could not bear to lose their tails.

The family history you provide is interesting as well, particularly since it frames part of the larger world as well. Again I'm having a little bit of trouble following it - "failure to birth" and "baby tiger's fortunate arrival"? Though you do say later that the prince is adopted, so that clears it up somewhat.

The constant reminder that these are animals and not humans is very well done, and well appreciated as well. It's not often I see that in fanfictions, so it is difficult to remember otherwise but reading this I never forgot that they were cats and not humans. Very nicely written.
frankannestein chapter 3 . 11/13/2013
Excellent! I've enjoyed how well thought out this backstory has proven to be. I, too, was puzzled by Cheetara's saying she had nowhere else to go when I watched the flashback - it didn't seem to fit. I like your idea. ;) I'm fascinated by the glimpses of Thundera and Third Earth, the species and their current interactions, and seeing Claudus with Lior was kind of amusing. Typical men. Hee.

frankannestein chapter 1 . 11/4/2013
Ooooo, I like. The writing is very good - descriptions, the narration, the inner monologue of Claudus - all pulled me in and kept me in. This is a fresh look at the possible life of royalty, and it's bizarre-ness (or maybe alien-ness?) is what hooked me. It's not like I don't know what's going on, but there are enough questions that I would continue reading to find the answers to.

And did I mention it's beautifully written? :)

Luna de Papel chapter 3 . 9/19/2013
Cheetara's backstory was never explored in the series and I find your personal view on what might have been both believable and engaging. I definitely want to read the rest.
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WyldClaw chapter 1 . 4/24/2013
What incredible imagery and descriptions
Freddo chapter 1 . 2/8/2013
Very interesting opening. I like your look into the politics of Thunderian society and Claudus' situation. Very nice start!
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